A/N: Hi guys, so I was watching the Friends episode where Joey and Chandler left Ross's baby on a bus, so I was thinking what if this happened to Zak, Nick, and Aaron with Annabelle. Nick as Ross, Zak as Chandler, Aaron as Joey, Billy as Monica (In this Billy is single and has no children, but he loves babies), and baby Annabelle as Baby Ben.
Disclaimer: I don't own Friends, Ghost Adventures, any characters or people, or the plot.
"Who's a sweet girl, Annabelle is? Yes she is? Yes she is!" Billy crooned as she picked up his friend's baby, who was sitting in a car seat on the coffee table. "Don't cry, sweetie, Don't cry," Yet the baby still cried, "Why is she still crying?" He asked Nick in the same voice he was using with the baby.
"Let me hold her for a second." Nick smiled, taking his baby girl in his arms, who immediately stopped crying. "There we are." He said, giving the baby back to her uncle, she started crying again.
"Maybe it's me, she hates me." Billy sighed in despair.
"Don't be silly, Annie loves you, she's just being miss cranky pants." Nick laughed, making funny faces at his baby.
"Dude, I dated a miss cranky pants once, lovely girl, kinda moody." Zak joked sarcastically, Nick glared at his friend playfully.
"There we go, all better," Nick said, ignoring Zak and handing his baby back to his bro, Annabelle immediately started crying. Billy looked back at his friend helplessly.
"Here, let me try something," Zak smirked, coming around the couch, and picking up the baby who stopped crying. He leaned the baby in towards Billy, and the baby cried, back away, stopped crying, towards, baby cries.
"Cool!" Aaron exclaimed from the arm chair, and reached out to hold the baby
"She hates me. My God child hates me me." He groaned in despair, standing up from the couch and walked towards the TV..
"C'mon don't do this." Nick said in exasperation.
"What if my own baby hates me, huh? What am I going to do then." Billy asked
"Billy, would you stop. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem?" Zak asked without thinking. "I mean you don't even have a girlfriend yet."
Billy raised his eyebrows, and crossed his arms in annoyance. "Aaron, he does not look fat." Zak said in an attempt to get Billy to stop glaring at him. Aaron just looked around in confusion.
"Hey Bill," Zak said, from the kitchen table holding a basketball up to him.
"Whaaaa!" Aaron screamed out. Zak took it away from Billy, "Coo Coo Coo." Towards, "Whaaaa!" Away, "Coo Coo Coo."
"That it so funny, you guys! Let me see that!" Billy said, taking the ball and throwing it out the window. Zak and Aaron's grins immediately fading.
Nick started making strange noises, "Dude you ok?" Aaron asked, a little concerned.
"I don't know... hhfkaurjfh…" He choked out. "What's in this pie?" He asked staring down at the offending food.
"I- I don't know, butter, and eggs, and flour, and lime, and kiwi, and-" Billy started, counting off on his fingers.
"KIWI!?" Nick exclaimed in horror. "You said it was a key lime pie?"
"No I didn't, I said a kiwi lime pie, that's what makes it so special." Billy corrected grinning, he loves this pie.
"Bro, that's what's gonna kill me." He exclaimed, pointing his fork at the pie, "I'm allergic to kiwi."
"No you're not, you're allergic to lobster, and peanuts, and-"
Nick choked again.
Billy gasped, "Oh my God." he covered his mouth realising what he just did.
"It's definitely getting worse." He said choking again.
"Alright, is your tongue swelling up." He asked, coming around the table and placing a hand on his shoulder.
"It's either that or my mouth is getting smaller." Nick exclaimed sarcastically.
"Get your coat, we're going to the hospital." Billy said, going to retrieve his coat, the three stood up.
"Is he gonna be ok?" Aaron asked.
"Yeah he just needs to get a shot." Billy explained and Nick suddenly got extremely nervous
"Dudes, You know, it's actually getting better. It is, it is, let's not go, anyone up for scrabble?" He said sitting down again, Nick hates needles.
"Coat, now mister!" Billy ordered.
Nick stood up, "What- what about Annabelle, we can't bring a baby to the hospital." He asked desperately.
Aaron grinned, "We'll watch her," He grinned, hitting Zak with his arm.
"I don't think so," Nick denied, not trusting his baby with his crazy friends.
"What? I have like four sisters, and like, 15 nieces and nephews, we got this." Aaron explained, Nick paused thinking, "C'mon we wanna do it, don't we?" He said, elbowing Zak.
"Well I was looking forward to playing basketball, but that's out the window." Literally...
"Well if you do bring her out for a walk, make sure to put her hat on, there's extra milk in the fridge. And extra diapers in the bag." he ordered his speech getting worse and worse by the second.
"Hat, Milk,-"Aaron paused forgetting the last one, "Got it!"
"Ok, thrulop an thraouiop, thrw up a thro thro," he opened the door and pointed to the guys, "A thro thro." Billy ushered him down the hall.
Aaron nodded, "consider it done." he shouted, shutting the door on them.
"You understood that?" Zak questioned, he didn't get a word of that.
"My uncle Sal has a really big tongue." Aaron said, shrugging.
"Is he the one with the beautiful wife?" Zak asked, Aaron nodded.
"Bro, I don't think we brought enough stuff." Zak deadpanned sarcastically, as they walked down the street carrying every toy the little munchkin owned. Why Aaron put a bear in the Baby harness, and a bunch of toys in the stroller, while he carried the baby, the baby bag, and the baby carrier, was beyond him. "Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?"
"Dude, I'm telling you, it's gonna be worth it," Aaron said stopping, turning to face his friend, "It's a known fact, women love babies. Alright, women love guys who love babies, it's the whole sensitive thing." He paused eyeing a group of attractive girls, "Quick aim her at that pack of babes over there, maybe one of them will break away." Zak, turned towards them, and well, pointed, the baby at them. "Wait, forget them, we got one, hard left." He said, seeing the red head smiling at them and Annabelle. "Bro, give me the baby." Aaron said.
"No, no I got her." Zak said, this chick is hot.
"C'mon seriously."
"Oh seriously, you want her" he said sarcastically.
"Oh hellooo." The hot red head crooned, talking to the baby more than them.
"Hellooo." Zak and Aaron said in unison, smiling at the lady.
"And who is this little sweetie pie." She asked, smiling from ear to ear
"Well, don't think me immodest, but, me." Zak said, putting the vegas charm on thick, she laughed.
"You wanna smell her?" Aaron asked seriously.
"I assume we're talking about the baby now." she said, laughing a little.
"Oh yeah, she's got that great baby smell. Get a wiff of her head" Zak took her hat off, and let the red head smell her.
"I think my uterus just skipped a beat." She said, holding a hand to her chest.
"What I tell ya, what I tell ya." Aaron whispered into Zak's ear.
"I think it's great that you're doing this." She smiled.
"Well we are great guys." Zak grinned.
"You know my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years, what agency did you two go through. " She asked, thinking Zak and Aaron were, together. Zak glared at Aaron who's smile faded when he realised what she meant.
"That's a good plan Aaron, next time we wanna meet women, we should just go to the park and make out." Zak deadpanned. As they walked down the street. "Taxi! Taxi!" He called out, and one stopped next to them.
"Bro, hey, check it out." Aaron said gesturing to two hot girls waiting at the bus stop.
"Thanks, just practicing , you're good, carry on." Zak said to the taxi driver and walked over to the two girls.
"Oh she's just adorable," the brunette one said, leaning over Aaron to coo at the baby once they were seated on the bus.
"Can you tell her that, she thinks she's too pink." Zak joked, making the ladies laugh.
"So what are you guys out doing today?" The bond one asked grinning at them.
"Oh, we're not out, no, nope, we're just two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend." Aaron unnecessarily clarified as Zak sat the car seat down on the seat next to them. "Doing the usual straight guys stuff."
"Ya done?" Zak asked, with a slight smirk.
"Yeah." Aaron answered sheepishly.
"Oh here's our stop." the brunette stated, pointing out the window.
"Get outta here, this is our stop." Aaron lied, putting on a good surprised face.
"You guys live around here too?" the blond asked.
"Yeah, yeah, we live in the building next to the ah, sidewalk." Aaron answered, it took everything Zak had not to hit his friend and burst into laughter.
"You know it?" Zak asked sarcastically, the two looked at them suspiciously.
"Hey since we're neighbors and all, why don't we go out for a drink?" Aaron asked hopefully. The two looked at each other, smiled and nodded at the two.
"So, ah, you wanna go to Markell's?" the brunette asked as the bus took off, and the stood on the sidewalk.
"Oh sure, they love us over there." Zak said
The blonde frowned, "Hey, where's your baby?" They looked in the stroller, then back to each other, gasped and ran after the bus.
"HEY! HEY!" Aaron shouted as they ran down the street
"Oh that's good, maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord!" Zak grouched sarcastically.
"Stop there's a baby on the bus!" Aaron shouted as the bust turned.
"Wait! Stop!" They shouted turning the corner, to see three identical buses.
"We just had to take the bus." Zak glared at Aaron.
"Nick's gonna kill us…" Aaron groaned.
"C'mon, pick up, pick up, pick up… Hello." Zak said into his cell phone. "Transit authority? Yes, I'm doing research for a book," He said, grabbing onto Aaron's shoulder, "And I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus?" He paused waiting for the man to answer, "Yes I do realise that would be a stupid character." He sighed putting a hand to his forehead in frustration.
Aaron took the phone away from Zak, "Hi, here's the deal, we lost a car seat on a bus today, it's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller, oh and it has a baby in it." Zak glared at Aaron again, "he wants to talk to you again," He handed the phone back to Zak.
Zak and Aaron rushed into the Las Vegas Department of Health Services, slamming into the front desk, with all the baby stuff.
"Hi we're the guys who called about the baby on the bus, is she here, is she here?!" They both asked at the same time.
"She's here." The black man at the desk answered.
"Oh thank god!" Zak exclaimed in relief, briefly hugging Aaron one armedly.
"I'm assuming one of you is the father?" The man asked, with a no nonsense type of tone.
"I'm him."
"That's me." They both answered at the same time. The man eyed them suspiciously, "Actually, we're, both the father," Zak 'clarified', wrapping an arm around Aaron's shoulders. Aaron grinned, touching his head to Zak's and smiling at the man.
They ran into a room with two cradles, each going to one, "Oh Annabelle hi sweetie," they said at the same time, turned and looked at each other.
"Bro, please tell me you know which one is our baby." Zak asked, desperately.
"Well that one has ducks on his T-shirt, and this one has clowns." He said, pointing to each baby. "And Annabelle was definitely wearing ducks."
"Ok." Zak breathed in relief.
"Or clowns." Aaron said unsure, Zak flung his hands in the air in frustration. "Oh wait, this one's definitely Annie, remember she had that cute little mole by her mouth."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Hey Annie, remember us?" He said reaching down into the crib, before pulling back, "Well the mole came off." He turned to his bald friend, "What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?" He freaked out.
"Ah, ah, we'll flip for it!" Aaron exclaimed. "Ducks or clowns."
"Dude! Seriously? We're gonna flip for the baby?" Zak exclaimed in disbelief at his friend's idea.
"You got a better idea?" Aaron asked, "I'm all ears."
"Alright call it in the air." Zak said, digging through his pocket to find a quarter.
"Heads!" Aaron called.
"Heads it is." Zak exclaimed.
"Yes, whoo!" Aaron said in relief.
Zak clapped his friend on the shoulder, "Dude, We have to assign heads to something!" He exclaimed, exasperated.
"Oh right ok, ok." He said, bouncing up and down, he put his hands to his foreheads saying, "Ok, ducks is heads, because, because, ducks have heads!" He exclaimed, gesturing at the baby with ducks on her shirt, proud of himself.
Zak stared at Aaron in confusion, "What scary ass clowns came to your birthday party?" Zak hates clowns with a burning passion deep within his soul, but even he knows they have heads, well, most of them.
Aaron looked from baby to baby, unsure of who was their best friend's baby and worried they take the wrong one back to him.
"Ahh, hello tiny baby, come here little one." Billy grinned as Zak, Aaron and Annie came through the front door into Nick's living room. "Ah there's a sweet girl!" He crooned, picking up the baby, smiled as he realised, "Hey, she's not crying!"
Zak and Aaron looked at each other in horror, thinking they picked the wrong baby. "Hey she's not crying!" Zak said through gritted teeth trying to keep calm. Aaron laughed nervously.
Then Annabelle started crying again, "Yes!" Aaron shouted in excitement, as Billy's smile fell and he glared at them, "There's still pie!" He redirected, pointing at the pie.
Nick came into the room, grinning at the sight of his little girl. "How's my baby girl, you want daddy to change your diaper?" he cooed as he took her into his strong arms. Aaron and Zak quietly bro fist bumped on not being caught. "So did you have fun with Uncle Zak and Uncle Aaron today?" Nick asked the baby as he sat her down on a chair to change her.
"Oh yeah dude, she rode the bus today." Aaron answered without thinking, Zak glared and elbowed him.
"Big girl, riding the bu-" He paused, "Hey, I have a question," He picked Annie back up and turned to his friends, "How come it says property of human services on her butt?" He asked glaring at the two.
Aaron's eyes widened in fear.
"Bro, you are gonna love this," Zak started, chuckling nervously, Nick could totally kill him if he wanted to.
"Can you hold Annabelle for a sec?" Nick asked handing her over to Billy. Aaron and Zak started backing up to the door.
"Come here, get over here! Zak!" Nick shouted as he advanced at his friends.
"Dude! Stay back! I have kiwi, run, Aaron, run!" Zak shouted grabbing the pie and stalling Nick. as Aaron ran out of the house.
That's it guys, took a lot of the dialogue from season 2 episode 6 of Friends called the one with the baby on the bus, just added, Bros and Dudes and Mans, every once in awhile. Hope you enjoyed this, don't forget to review!
TTFN
K9KID OUT!