Doctor says she's fading fast
And he hit his knees
And then he prayed
"Take the very breath you gave me.
Take the heart from my chest.
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me.
Make this my last request.
Take me out of this world,
But God please don't take the girl."
Seeley Booth knelt, his elbows resting on the back of the pew. Absently, he drew his right hand down and across his chest, just as he'd been taught decades ago, and raised his eyes to the crucifix that hung over the altar.
"God?" he whispered hoarsely, taking in a deep, shaky breath. "God, why are you doing this to her?" He watched the lifeless wooden face with desperation, almost as if he expected it to answer…but, of course, the man on the cross said nothing. The pale blue eyes just stared sadly back at him.
A long moment passed before a heavy sigh broke the silence, and Seeley let a single tear slip from the corner of his eye.
"I just don't understand," he exclaimed, wiping it away with the back of his hand. "I know that you said everything happens for a reason, but, for the life of me, I can't think of a single good reason-" His voice cracked, the raw emotion threatening to overwhelm him. He was all but crying openly now, and he could feel the heat of fresh tears as they rolled slowly down his cheeks. "It just isn't right."
And it sure as Hell wasn't fair. She was so much the better person…not to mention the better partner. He may have held the gun in their relationship, but Bones… Bones was the brains, the mental stronghold that could be counted on when things got tough. She was the one that kept them going, the one who had picked him up off of his living room floor (more times than he cared to remember), when the weight of the world had gotten to be too much.
He had missed that solid assurance over the past few weeks, the way her beautifully flawless logic could convince him to pour out yet another bottle of his single malt scotch, and start over. If not for himself, she would tell him, then for her. And if not for her, then for the people who they had been placed on this earth to help. Those nameless bodies had so quickly become the glue that held their world together, and now that world was steadily falling apart.
There was no one there to stop him from putting that bottle to his lips, no one to remind him of the responsibility he had, to the FBI and to the victims…and to their families, who deserved at least a pile of bones to mourn. In fact, he had only been to the office twice during the past few weeks. The smell of hard liquor still hung on his clothes from the night before, and the bags under his eyes told the bitter story of a man in ruin.
He wanted to curse God for what had happened to her, for what he had let happen to her. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs every blasphemous word he could think of…but he didn't. He did the only thing he could find in his aching heart to do. He bowed his head low and pleaded with God to make things right.
"Please," he begged, his shoulders shaking with sobs. "Please, spare her this. She may not believe you exist, but…but she's given me a different kind of faith. After what I've seen it's hard to believe in goodness anymore. I've spent so long judging people as evil and…and wrong…even myself. But Temperance, she was- is one of the purest souls I've ever known."
He took another deep breath, struggling to hold back the tears in his eyes.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is…I mean if you have to take someone, if there's some sort of cosmic balance you're trying to keep….then please…please, take me instead."