Dark Gothic Lolita here!
Okay so this is a little one-shot that I made quite a while ago, but didn't really get to post because of my accident. It was made for a contest by Neospice12. The song, 'Immortal' is by Evanescence and I changed the lyrics a little bit so that it could kind of fit with the actual plot of the story that I was going with.
Excuse my bad grammer and spelling and I don't own KHR or the song.
My Immortal
Songfic
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
I cry. I cry more than ever have since he's gone. I don't come out of the room we once shared and I just lay there as dead as a doornail. No, I shouldn't say that. I'm not the one who's dead. He is. The one I love and loved. Tsuna. It was as if staying here was still like being with him.
Everywhere I turned my head, he was still there smiling at me or lying next to me in the bed. I would believe it all until I reach out to grab him, he disappears with a wisp. The tears flow yet again.
When we found out, it was the worst blow to ever hit us. Everyone thought that it was Gokudera who had it hard, being his right hand man and all and being at the scene, but no one thought about me. They thought that I had known it from the start and didn't mind being a mafia boss's wife that I could handle any news. I'm not Haru for nothing. I stood there with my face as pale as anything. I ran to his side when he was still on the verge of life and death.
I grabbed his hand and he turned his head so slowly that I was wondering if he'll even remember me. Thankfully, he did. A smile graced his lips as he saw me and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Haru…" His voice was so raspy and I didn't like the sound of that. "Shh. Don't talk. You'll make it okay? You have to." I was stroking his hair and I think my voice was cracking because he too was soon stroking my hair with the last of his energy.
"Haru… Is this what it's like to die?" I look at his through my teary eyes. "How should I know, I've never died before and you won't too!" I was hugging him too desperately now. He let out a chuckle. "I have died so many times before, Haru. The only reason I've been live is because I was brought back to life with all of my regrets."
These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase
His wounds aren't healing at all and neither is mine. My heart is hurting while I'm just laying here. I just wish that I could turn back all of the time in the world to get him back. I regret not ever being there all the time for him. Although he told me not too, I shouldn't have listened. I wish I was in his place.
All of the times that I always thought that he would be safe because he was doing so well, I guess some people just didn't like him changing the mafia so well. He told me that he had been shot so many times but I never thought that the bullet wouldn't have been from Reborn.
When I cried, you'd wipe away all of my tears When I'd scream, you'd fight away all of my fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me
I remember all of the times that you would come back heavily injured with Gokudera crying out about how he couldn't protect you from this. You would always roll your eyes and smile even though I know he's annoying you but you see that like a little brother thing.
Then you would always take a look at me who is down the hallway and you see me standing there with the tears in my eyes. You pry yourself off of your right hand man and limp towards me. I always meet up with you halfway through and I'm crying my heart out by now. I grab him into the biggest hug ever and in return his wrap my arms around my waist with my head buried into him neck.
"Tsuna, don't you EVER go out there with me worrying me. Do you hear me Sawada Tsunayoshi? I hope you can because that was pretty reckless of you!" You managed to silence me with your lips and you begin to wipe away my tears.
"I hear you loud and clear Sawada Haru. I promise that I would never get hurt like this, only if you stop crying." Ooh he got me there! I stop immediately and I look up at him with teary eyes that I wish would just dry quickly.
"See, there we are!" I have to quickly get him to the hospital ward before he faints and Gokudera is there to help me.
He was always there when I have the worst nightmares about seeing him dying in my arms. He manages to sooth me and whisper to me that never will that happen. We would always grow old together and I believe it straight away. I settle into him and I know everything is going to be okay.
But it's not.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
It's been a full month till I finally come out of my room and already Kyoko is shaking me half to death. "How the hell did you even eat? Do you know how worried we all were? Don't ever scare us like that again! I mean, what would Tsuna say?" By the time she got to that part, she had wrapped me into a hug and let me cry into her shoulder.
She tries to sooth me like a best friend would, but it's not the same as Tsuna's way. Sometimes his presence just overwhelms me and I really wonder if I have gone mad. I can't tell anyone about it otherwise they might all think that I've gone crazy for sure.
Who knows, maybe I have. Sometimes I think that I can still hear his deep masculine voice that plays in my head over and over again. I play it like a broken record, all of the things that he has have ever said to me.
As me and Kyoko go down to the dining room, I can see Gokudera looking stressed out and Yamamoto is no longer walking about with his big smile on his face. Everyone looks so depressed while I was there in our room crying it out. Sometimes I'm so stupid.
These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase When I cried, you'd wipe away all of my tears When I scream, you'd fight away all of my fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
It's been a year since he passed away. I've visited his grave and I stood there for five hours straight. We all went, but nobody stayed as long as me. Not even Gokudera who only managed about three hours.
It's like everywhere that I am, he's still there, just waiting and smiling as if he'll come and cuddle me again. By the time I reach there, he's gone. He just vanishes into nothing, but really he was never there from the start.
I still cry. I cry every day, waiting for him to come and wipe them like he usually does and then silences me with a kiss. That's how it always was. Not anymore. It's just an empty hollow life. Do you know what I regret the most? I didn't get the chance to tell him how much I loved him when he was on the brink of death.
I was there holding his hand and I didn't sleep for three days straight. I was so tired that I thought that maybe by the time I wake up, he would be fine. How wrong I was. He passed on peacefully while asleep. My final words that I was hoping to tell him didn't get to reach him on time.
I regret not saying how much I love him.
When I cried, you'd wipe away all of your tears When I scream, you'd fight away all of my fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me, me, me
I hope that it was okay and up to your standards! Again, sorry for any poor spelling and grammer!
Dark Gothic Lolita