Chloe O'Brian was just about to hit her 38th birthday and felt that she had nothing to show for it. Oh she'd saved many lives, had worked tirelessly for the government for 10 years of her life but none of that kept her warm at night; none of that gave her any comfort now. It seemed like many years ago and here she was living in DC for the past couple of months with nothing but her cat for company. She'd thought about getting more cats but had brought herself up short, the images of an aged spinster surrounded by her brood of cats who she looked after better than she did herself making her realise how pathetic her life actually was.
She was working in the most unexciting job ever, improving internet security systems for a number of major corporations. She recalled how, four years ago she thought this was what she wanted, what would make her happy. But she was wrong, none of it made her happy and, in some weird way, the only time she'd been truly happy was the time when her life was constantly at risk. She sighed as she glanced out of the coffee shop window, looking at all the Christmas shoppers loaded down with their shopping, all hurrying, trying to find the best presents for their loved ones.
Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see the smiling face of a very pregnant Audrey Raines (probably Bauer now) staring back at her.
"Chloe!" Audrey exclaimed, obviously pleased to see her.
Chloe stood and was shocked to be gathered into the warm embrace of the other woman. She had liked Audrey, but they'd never been what you'd call friends, they were just too different, but they'd worked well together. Audrey laughed when she realised that Chloe had stiffened, having forgotten how her former colleague was averse to close contact.
"Sorry, it's just it's so good to see you. I've often wondered what happened to you. You left so quickly and none of us had a chance to say goodbye. Sorry, I'm babbling, it's the hormones. Can I join you?"
Chloe nodded her affirmation, but she was still speechless, unable to form a cohesive sentence. Audrey sat, stretching her aching back as she found a comfortable position in the chair.
"So Chloe, how have you been?"
"Uh, ok I guess. Things are a bit quieter here than in LA."
"Are you happy?"
"Wh…what?" Chloe asked the surprise evident in her expression.
Audrey smiled softly "I was just wondering if you're happy, I guess that was a bit rude of me. It's just that you went through so much and the times I've thought about you I've hoped that you are happy. It's what you deserve Chloe after everything that happened."
Chloe thought back to the time she left LA. It had all got too much for her, she'd hit burn out – at least that what they told her. It wasn't surprising really considering that she'd almost died. In fact she had died technically, had been found unconscious in the back of a locked van and had suffered a cardiac arrest. But Jack had saved her, he'd always saved her. Her eyes misted over as she thought of him and she looked away quickly but not soon enough if she wanted to avoid Audrey seeing the emotion running over her face.
Audrey's hand reached out and touched Chloe's arm briefly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it all back for you" she said with sympathy.
Chloe shook herself out of her thoughts, deciding that the only way to detract Audrey's attention was to ask about her life, even if some of it would be painful to hear.
She smiled brightly "so, how about you? You happy?" she asked thinking she already had the answer to that one.
"Very" Audrey answered with a soft smile on her face. Good for you, Chloe thought with only that slightest hint of sarcasm. She really was glad that Audrey was happy; if Audrey was happy then Jack probably was too.
"And Jack?" Chloe decided to ask about him sooner rather than later.
"Yeah, he's good. We don't get to see him as much as we'd like but he takes Josh every other weekend and times during the holidays. It's good because Jack and David get on really well so we all get to spend Christmas together. Kim's coming over as well so it's going to be great".
Chloe knew that Josh was Jack and Audrey's son, but she didn't have a clue who David was. And why the hell was Jack only seeing Josh on weekends?
Chloe knew her confusion must be showing. "Who's David?"
Audrey looked surprised. "He's my husband. I thought you knew Chloe, I thought you'd still be in touch with Chase."
"Chase?" Chloe asked, scowling in frustration because she couldn't keep up. "Audrey, you're going to have to catch me up here. The last I knew no-one had heard from Chase in over a year, you were with Jack and Kim wasn't talking to anyone."
Audrey laughed. "Sorry, I just thought you knew. I really thought out of anyone, you'd be in touch with Chase."
Chloe frowned then looked at the other woman. "Well I'm not!" she snapped. "Sorry, it's just that Chase never forgave me for keeping the fact that Jack was alive from him. Not that I blame him, after all his relationship with Kim was ruined because she went off the rails at the thought that her father had died."
"Oh god" Audrey said, the anguish clear on her face. "Chloe, I hadn't realised you'd been dealing with all of this alone. Both Jack and I really thought that Chase had been there for you."
Chloe glowered "please don't feel sorry for me Audrey. Eventually Chase did try and get in touch but by then I felt it easier just to cut myself off from the past. It seemed easier."
Audrey nodded. "Anyway, Jack and I decided that things weren't working out for us pretty soon after Josh arrived. He's been there for Josh, he's a great father and he and I remained friends. Then a couple of years ago I met David and we got married last year. As you can see we've got another one on the way" she said, pointing to her protruding belly. "Chase and Kim hooked up again last year. Not that either Jack or I have seen Chase in that time but they're arriving sometime tomorrow."
Chloe was shocked to hear that Audrey and Jack weren't together anymore. Audrey quickly glance at her watch and drained her coffee cup.
"I really need to go Chloe. Listen, tomorrow we're having a Christmas Eve party and I'd love you to come."
Chloe started shaking her head but Audrey stopped her. "Chloe, everyone that'll be there will love to see you. I know you probably don't believe that but it's true. Jack in particular, I know he often thinks about you, often wonders where you are."
"Sure" Chloe said with a doubtful shrug.
Audrey clasped Chloe's hand, trying to convey to her how genuine her words were. "It's true Chloe. Jack tried to look for you when you first left but you'd disappeared."
"Yeah, I went away for a while" Chloe said, not wanting to explain any further.
Audrey nodded in understanding then stood, passing Chloe her address card before turning to leave. "I won't tell him you might be coming because I don't want to disappoint him, but please Chloe, please come" she urged before she moved away. Just as Chloe was about to breathe a sigh of relief at her impending departure Audrey turned back.
"Don't turn away from people that care about you Chloe. Life's too short for that. He loved you, you know. In a different way to the way he loved me, but it was love and what he felt for me didn't last. What he had with you was different." With that she turned and walked away, leaving Chloe looking stunned.
00000
As she walked up the winding drive Chloe was wondering what the hell she was doing. She'd had no intention of coming but an hour ago she'd settled down about to eat another TV dinner and in a moment of despair had thrown her meal in the trash, grabbed her coat and walked out of her apartment. Before she'd had a chance to think about what she was doing she'd arrived here at the address Audrey had given her.
She reached the front step of the impressive looking house and heard the laughter and shouts coming from inside. She groaned to herself, wondering what on earth had convinced her that this was a good idea; she was never any good in these types of social situations.
She turned and walked back down the steps but hesitated when she heard the door open. Not wanting to hang around she carried on walking.
"Chloe?" She didn't recognise the voice but it was a kind and gentle voice and one that compelled her to stop and turn back. The man standing on the doorstep was handsome with a kind face and slightly greying hair. He reminded her a little of Bill Buchanon.
"Hey" he said with a soft smile as he walked towards her. "Don't go, please. Audrey was so excited that she bumped into you. She's been really trying to contain herself all day just in case you didn't show. Please, don't disappoint her by walking away now."
Just then Chloe jumped as she saw a small boy running from the house being chased by the man who was all too familiar to her. They fell to a heap on the ground when the man caught up with him and they were both laughing loudly.
Chloe felt tears sting the back of her eyes but she couldn't take her gaze from the picture in front of her. She felt the reassuring touch of the strangers hand on her arm, the man she knew must be Audrey's husband.
The man and boy got up from the ground, dusting themselves off and turning to walk back into the house. The man looked towards her and stopped dead in his tracks.
It had been four years since they'd seen each other, four years during which they'd both tried to heal the wounds they'd endured. And they'd both succeeded to a certain extent.
"Hey Joshie, let's go inside and see if mom's got some of those cookies you like" David said to him.
The boy who looked so much like his father hesitated only a moment before he walked towards the step where his mom was now standing. Chloe couldn't help but notice the warm smile on Audrey's face even though there were tears streaming from her eyes. Chloe supposed they must be happy tears.
The three of them moved inside, closing the door slowly and leaving Jack and Chloe alone. Chloe looked back towards him, chewing her bottom lip in an attempt to stem what she was sure would be a never ending flow of her own tears if she let them begin.
The look on his face was one of pure shock. He was motionless and so was she. They just looked at each other, still some distance apart but neither of them able to move just yet.
Surprisingly Chloe was the first to move, but she didn't walk; she ran, propelled by some force that was drawing her to him. He caught her in his arms and held onto her as they both felt the tears flowing down their faces. He lifted her so her feet were no longer touching the ground and she held onto him, her arms tightly wound around his neck. They stayed like that for several minutes, neither of them saying a word.
Eventually he set her down on the ground, his hands settling in her hair, forcing her to look at him, so that he could properly look at her. He looked happy and relaxed; he wasn't the drawn, haunted Jack Bauer that she'd known before. But his face was the same, still the combination of softness with a hard edge; the type of man who was kind but when necessary could kill a man with his bare hands.
She saw the look of wonder across his features, as though he couldn't believe she was really there.
"Chloe" he said simply before drawing her body back towards his. She breathed in the comforting scent of him and for the first time in her life she felt as though she was finally home; finally where she belonged.
"Where have you been?" he asked. "I looked everywhere for you. Are you ok? I can't believe that you're here."
She laughed into his shoulder, where the hand on the back of her head forced her to settle. Eventually when he loosened his hold on her she was able to speak for the first time.
"I don't know Jack, I've been all over. I just came here a couple of months ago and then yesterday I bumped into Audrey and she asked me to come. I wasn't going to but then I found I couldn't stay away. I missed you, I realised that I couldn't settle, not really; until I came back and faced this. I've been running for so long." She breathed deeply and her voice shook but her look was unwavering.
He smiled at her and pulled her head in so he could kiss her gently on the forehead. "Thank god" he said simply "C'mon, let's go inside. Eventually I want to hear everything that you've done in the last four years but for the moment I just want to look at you,"
They walked to the door arm in arm. Chloe was startled when the door was flung open and the little boy flew down the steps to stand next to his father.
He looked at Chloe inquisitively. "I know you" he said.
"You do?" Chloe asked.
"Yeah, my dad has a picture of you"
"He does?"
"Yeah, he said you used to kick a lot of butt and that you didn't take any nonsense from anyone."
"Really?"
The boy smiled brightly "yeah, but he also said you were bea…beaut…" he sighed in frustration "what was that word again dad?"
"Beautiful Josh, I told you that she was the most beautiful person I'd known."
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They walked into the house and Audrey met her there, enveloping her into an excited hug. "I'm so happy you're here" she said as she took in the expression on Jack's face, screwing her own expression in response to his obvious look of wonder that she'd managed to keep this secret from him.
As Audrey released her Chloe noticed Kim standing just a little bit away from them, Chloe smiled a little awkwardly. "Hey" she said, not really sure how Kim felt about seeing her.
"Hey" Kim said in return "It's good to see you."
"Yeah, likewise" Chloe responded.
"Chase is here" Kim said "He's in the kitchen. Why don't you go say hello?"
Chloe hesitated for a moment. "Go on" Jack said, running his hand up and down her arm "It'll be fine" he said reassuringly and pointed the way to kitchen out to her.
Chloe nervously edged towards the kitchen, pushing the door open as she went. She stood just inside, her gaze drawn to the man who was once her best friend. He stood with his back to her, looking out of the window onto the driveway. She knew he must have been watching her reunion with Jack but he now stood with his shoulders slumped and not moving.
She walked towards him and the closer she got, she realised that he was crying, soundless tears that spoke volumes. "Hey" she said as she awkwardly patted his back, feeling the tension in his muscles there.
It was only then that he turned to her. He moved quickly, that was Chase; always quick. His arms snaked around her and he gathered her into him, rocking her slowly but really she knew he was drawing comfort from her.
"I'm sorry Chlo', I'm so sorry. You were the last person I wanted to hurt" he said on a sob that was muffled by her hair.
She rubbed her hands against him in comforting circles. "It's ok Chase, really it is. I'm as much to blame for this as anyone."
At her words he pushed her away from him, almost violently. "Blame? You Chloe? You are not to blame for any of this. Out of everyone you were just doing the right thing, that's what you always did and I should have respected that."
"You were hurt Chase. I knew that. I didn't leave because of you, I left because of me. I couldn't take any more and I knew that if I stayed I would just get drawn back into it all. I did it for me. I wanted to be normal, I wanted to be happy."
"And are you?" he asked looking at her again.
She smiled and rolled her eyes at the same time. "Today I am Chase. Today I'm happy."
"Good enough" he said but there was a warning note in his voice "for the moment."
00000
It had been years since Chloe had sat down to a family meal and, even then they had been few and far between. The difference here was that she felt as though she belonged, felt as though she was amongst people who cared about her.
There was a lot of laughter and good natured banter at the dinner table but every now and then she had to pull away from it emotionally; knowing that it wasn't going to last. Jack occasionally leaned over and touched her, partly in a move of reassurance and partly in an attempt to make sure that she was real.
When the meal was over, everyone settled down to relax with more wine. Christmas songs were playing in the background, but the fun and laughter continued. Chloe looked at the people around her and remembered how they had all worked together at one point or another. They had all been there for each other, had been responsible for saving the lives of at least one other person in the room. She felt her heart contract as she thought of all the suffering and pain they had gone through.
Tears began to form in her eyes and she tried to shake them away, but she couldn't. She got up suddenly and excused herself. She ran to the porch and sat on the step, the tears now flowing freely down her face. She felt him with her before he touched her but soon she was being held as she sobbed quietly into him.
"Hey, it's ok. I know this must be a bit overwhelming."
"I'm sorry" she said once the tears had subsided "you've all been so kind, I don't mean to be like this it's just….I don't know, it's just that it's so hard."
"I know Chloe; we've all been through it at some time or another. We've all struggled with what we've seen, with what we've done. It hasn't always been like this you know."
"Really?"
"Yes really. The difference is that we've had each other to help us through it. But you've got us now and every single person here wants to help you, wants you to know that they care about you."
"I don't know if I can Jack. It's somehow easier to do it on my own, that's the way I've always been. I don't know how to be different."
"You just need to be you Chloe. Let us do the rest."
He held her face in his hands "let me do the rest".
"Ok" she said, staring back into his pale blue eyes.
"Come on, let's get out of here" he said, slowly pulling her to her feet.
"I thought you were staying here"
"I was, but my house is only a few miles away. We'll go and pick up some of your things then you can come and stay with me. We'll come back here tomorrow for more of this if you can stand it."
She laughed at the way he said his last words, as though being with these people was some kind of slow torture. Chloe had suffered slow torture in the past and this was nothing like that had been.
"Jack wait" she said as he pulled her down the steps and in the direction of the car that was parked in the driveway. "You don't have to do this. I can go home; we can meet up in a few days for coffee or something if you want to."
He stopped in his tracks and she detected a note of barely restrained frustration in the way his hands grabbed her arms and shook her gently.
"Chloe, you are not walking away from this. I want you with me. Whatever happens I want you with me. I haven't had a moment's peace since you left; I've learned to find some happiness." He nodded in the direction of the house "the people in there have been largely responsible for that but the thing that has been missing has been you. If you think I'm just going to let you walk away then you're wrong."
Chloe looked at him in surprise. Her surprise turned to shock as she felt his mouth on hers, his hands pulling her into him before they settled on the sides of her face. His thumbs gently caressed her cheeks as his mouth toyed with her lips.
When he eventually stopped kissing her he took her hand and pulled her along with him. Chloe was in an unusually acquiescent mood as they headed towards the car. She settled into the passenger seat and as Jack got in beside her he turned towards her and drew his fingers across her crumpled brow.
"Come on, let's go home" he said as he started up the car.