Hello everyone! This is a very angst, very sad story that I put to Taylor Swift's "All Too Well" lyrics. If you're looking for something happy, I do not suggest this story. But if you're a Jeyna, Jasper, or Leyna shipper, I'd read it anyways. Warning, though: I cried while writing this. Actual genre is romance/tragedy/angst, but it wouldn't fit.
Disclaimer: Heroes of Olympus & all characters are property of Rick Riordan. Song is Taylor Swift's.
I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something about it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you've still got it in your drawer even now
"Goodnight, everyone. Have a Merry Christmas!" Reyna called as the last senators left the meeting. They waved, and Reyna turned to Jason. "Come on. Let's head home."
He stretched. "Best idea I've heard all day. I think I'm going home to pop some popcorn and watch a movie. Care to join me?"
"I'll bring the hot chocolate. Which movie?"
"I was thinking 'Home Alone,'" Jason replied, grinning. Reyna smiled despite herself.
"Sounds perfect," she declared as they walked out into the cold December air. Reyna shivered, but she couldn't help admiring the view. New Rome truly was spectacular, and Reyna felt a surge of pride. How she loved her city!
She and Jason talked the whole way back to the praetor villas, about the war games, the plan for the new aqueduct, what they wanted for Christmas - everything. That was how they were. Best friends who told each other everything - nothing was off limits.
When Reyna left to head home and grab the hot chocolate, she was smiling broadly. Jason always made her feel this way. Happy, and possibly a little bit hopeful. It had been the first time in a long time she'd felt this way.
It wasn't until much later, that following October, that Reyna realized she'd left her favorite cream-colored scarf at Jason's house that night. Not surprising, really, as they left things at each other's house all the time. Jason often joked he had a drawer filled with all the things she'd left.
Reyna never asked him for the scarf. He disappeared two days after she realized she'd lost it.
Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days
"And now, take a right," Reyna dictated. Jason obeyed. "Jason, that was a left!"
"Are you serious?" he asked. "Damn. How do I turn around?"
Reyna threw up her hands in exasperation. "How am I supposed to know! I've barely left Camp Jupiter since I got there four years ago, and these directions aren't telling!"
Jason sighed. "I'll see if I can find a place to U-Turn." They were quiet for a few more minutes.
Reyna wasn't sure why she'd agreed to go apple-picking with Jason on her day off, but it was driving her crazy. She could be back at Camp Jupiter, doing something productive, right now, but instead, she and Jason were trying to find a way to an apple orchard. And they were completely lost.
"Come on, Rey. Smile! We don't have to go apple picking. I just wanted to get out and see some of California. Apple-picking was a bonus," Jason said. Reyna could tell he was lying, but she softened anyways.
"Turn right there. That should get us back...yes. This is the right road. Now we drive for..." Reyna squinted at the map. "Two miles, take a left, and then we should be there."
"Awesome," Jason grinned.
Reyna smiled, too. "Will that make you happy?"
"Being with you makes me happy," he said, completely poker-faced. "When you aren't barking orders, you're actually pretty nice."
Reyna smiled slightly. "Thanks, Jason."
"That was...oh, hey! I love this song!" He turned up the radio and began singing loudly at the top of his lungs. Reyna laughed, but by the chorus, she was singing along, too.
"I didn't know you knew that song," he said when the song ended, both of them breathless with laughter from their terrible singing.
Reyna rolled her eyes. "Jason, you play it all the time. How could I not know that song?"
Jason just looked at her for a second, as though seeing her for the first time. Reyna cleared her throat and looked out the window. A bright red autumn leaf fluttered past her as she noted the street sign.
"Um, Jason...you were supposed to turn...two streets ago," Reyna said, a small smile on her lips.
"Damn it!" Reyna just laughed, watching the leaves fall past her window. Some things would never change.
And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more
And I might be OK, but I'm not fine at all
That memory with Jason had once been one of Reyna's fondest memories. She and Jason talked about it often, laughing about how many turns he'd missed.
But all that was long ago, before Juno took Jason and sent him off to New York. Before he met Piper McLean. Before they went on a quest to save the world. Before Reyna lost Jason to Piper. Because although he might still want to patch things up with her, she knew in her heart that things could never work out between them. He loved Piper too much.
And Reyna couldn't deny that that hurt. After four years, two of them as fellow praetors, and three years and eleven months as best friends, he still loved a strange daughter of Aphrodite he barely knew better than her. Which was more painful than Reyna cared to admit.
Annabeth asked her how she was doing all the time. Reyna knew her friend cared for her, which was nice, but her answer was always the same.
"I'm OK." Which wasn't a lie. Reyna was OK. But she wasn't fine. She never would be fine.
Cause there we are again on that little town street
You almost ran the red cause you were lookin' over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there
I remember it all too well
"Have you ever let down your hair?" Jason asked as he navigated the small town road on their way back from apple picking.
Reyna was startled by the topic change, but answered anyways. "No. It gets in the way."
"Let it down for me, please," he requested.
"Why?" Reyna asked.
"I just want to see what you look like. Pretty please?" he begged, turning to her. She couldn't resist those blue eyes.
"Fine. Don't laugh."
"I won't," he promised. Reyna yanked the elastic out of her hair and combed through the braid quickly. Jason stared. "Wow. You look really pretty like that," he said.
"I - er, thanks," Reyna replied, flustered. She looked back out the front window and gasped. "Jason, stop the car! That's a red light!" He swore again and stomped on the brake. The old, beat up blue car lurched to a stop just in the nick of time. The impact knocked Reyna's window down a few inches, and a fall breeze swept through the car, playing with her hair.
"That's it," Reyna gasped. "You are never, ever allowed to drive this thing again."
Jason didn't even argue.
"Okay."
Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed
And your mother's telling stories about you on the tee ball team
You taught me about your past, thinking your future was me
"That's it! Stop! We need a break!" Jason declared, getting up from the table.
"Jason, we can't afford to take a break," Reyna argued. "We have to plan out our attack strategies. We know the Titan forces are coming to Mount Tam, and we need to know what we want to do to stop them from maintaining the Titan base! We can't just 'stop' and go have a soda-"
"Yes we can," he said firmly, returning to the table with a large brown book and two cans of Coke in his hand.
"That's not up for debate, Grace," Reyna growled.
"I know. You're right. We're taking a break. Not up for debate. Here," he said, handing her a Coke. Reyna ignored it.
"I think we should head up the west and east sides, then-"
"I look like an idiot," Jason announced.
Reyna turned to look. "What? Where?"
Jason silently handed her the brown book. It was a photo album from back when Jason was five. He wore big, square glasses and was grinning at the camera, standing with what looked like...
"Jason, since when have you played tee ball?" Reyna demanded.
"Apparently, since I was five," he replied. "I'd forgotten we had a team. Camp Jupiter was so different back then."
"So were you," Reyna muttered. "I didn't know you wore contacts."
"I don't. I never needed glasses. I only wore them because...er, because the praetor at the time did," he admitted, his cheeks turning red. Reyna could sense that was a sensitive subject for him and chose not to comment.
"Kind of makes you wonder what this place will be like in another twelve years," she muttered.
"Yeah, and who I'll be with then," Jason said, glancing at her. Reyna stared hard at the album. Did that mean ... No. Of course not. She and Jason were friends. Nothing more.
"One thing's for certain," she said.
"What's that?" he asked.
"You'll be out of space on your arm," Reyna replied, pointing to the twelve dark lines on his forearm.
Jason laughed, and the tension was broken.
"Very funny, Reyna. Come on, let's get back to work."
And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to
"Bye, Annabeth!" Reyna called over her shoulder. Her friend grinned and hurried off to meet Percy. They were about to head back to Camp Half-Blood on the Argo II, which was currently a transportation vessel to get from place to place. Reyna stood in her doorway, watching the ship fade on the horizon, then turned and went back inside.
It had been such a wonderful afternoon hanging out with Annabeth. Reyna was glad that Annabeth had survived the quest and brought back the Athena Parthenos, which fixed the bond between the Romans and the Greeks. Now, campers could choose to spend the summer (or the year) at Camp Jupiter or Camp Half-Blood. The heroes were getting stronger, learning from each other. Reyna had learned loads from the Greeks already, and they from her as well. Who knew that Juno had actually had a good idea with the...
Reyna tried to stop her train of thought, but it was too late. Exchange Program. The program that took Jason from her, brought Percy Jackson to her, and was the start of all her heartbreak.
Stop it, she told herself. That was almost three months ago. Think about your afternoon with Annabeth.
That was the problem, though. Try though she might, Reyna just couldn't get Jason off her mind. Even hanging out with her best girlfriend...she couldn't forget him. How could she? Everything around her, her own house, reminded her of him. Even that stupid tile on the kitchen floor.
The wave of pain hit so suddenly, Reyna barely had time to catch her breath. She stumbled, catching herself on the edge of the counter as the flood of memories and emotions swarmed through her brain once more.
Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We're dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there
I remember it all too well
It was just after one in the morning in August. Two weeks ago, they'd finally defeated the Titan armies. Jason and Reyna had chosen to celebrate with a movie and popcorn, and 'The Parent Trap' had just finished playing. Reyna yawned and stretched, then got up and wandered over to the refrigerator.
"Do you want anything? Coke, yogurt...I've got loads of stuff."
"Nah, I'm good," Jason replied, coming up behind her.
"Suit yourself," Reyna muttered, as the credits began to play "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)".
Jason grinned. "I love this song. It's so catchy."
Reyna just looked at him.
"You're a little strange, you know," she said, leaning against the counter.
Jason grinned again. "I am. And now that you've acknowledged it, would you care to dance with me?"
Reyna stared. "At one in the morning, to a movie, with the refrigerator as the main light source. Sure, why not?"
Jason grinned and took her hand, then twirled her around. Reyna nearly fell over, but Jason held her close and began to dance around the island in the middle of the kitchen with her by the light of the refrigerator. He twirled her, spun her, and even dipped her once (which scared the living daylights out of her). By the time the song ended, both of them were breathless with laughter.
"You are a terrible dancer!" Reyna exclaimed, collapsing against the counter.
"Do you know how to dance any better?" Jason asked, leaning next to her.
"As a matter of fact, I do," Reyna declared. "Give me your hand."
And as the next song, "Never Let You Go" began to play, Reyna showed Jason how to dance properly. He found it "boring", however, and soon they were dancing around like idiots again. They almost fell down a small set of steps that lead to the formal front room, and then they decided to keep the ridiculous dancing to the kitchen. The song ended, but this time, Reyna found herself pressed between the counter and Jason. He caught his breath and stared down into her eyes.
This is it, she thought to herself. He's going to kiss you. It had almost happened twice before, in the middle of the battle on Mount Tam, and Reyna knew it would happen sooner or later. Jason seemed to be steeling his nerve. He took a deep breath, then slowly began to lean in. Reyna had just closed her eyes when it happened.
A loud BEEP echoed through the room and Jason jumped away from her. Reyna gasped, her eyes flying open, her heart skipping a beat.
"What the hell was that?" she demanded, ready to take her dagger to whatever had ruined the moment.
"I, uh, I think it was the fridge. If you leave it open for too long, it does that," Jason informed her. Reyna stormed over to the damn thing and slammed it shut.
"Stupid thing," she muttered, then looked at the clock. "Oh, gods, it's two in the morning. You should get home. We've got to get up tomorrow."
Jason's shoulders slumped. "Right. Well, goodnight, Rey."
He kissed her cheek as he left, disappearing into the night. Reyna slept with a smile on her face that night, needless to say.
And maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece
Till you tore it all up
"Come on, Reyna! We're almost there!"
"I'm coming!" Reyna called. She'd never seen Jason so excited. He, Reyna, and a few of Camp Jupiter's centurions were on a trip to Rome, to get an experience of what it would be like in the city. And Jason was like a five year old on caffeine. He'd never been outside California since he was two. So the idea of being in a foreign city, in Rome, no less, was making him slightly excited. Reyna caught up to him and handed the security guard her passport.
"I'm with him," she told the man in flawless Latin, pointing at Jason. He gave her a startled look, then handed her the passport and waved her through. Reyna had no idea what that was about, but she decided not to let it bother her too much.
As she and Jason stepped outside the airport, she couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of Rome. It was old, powerful, and extremely important to the world...and she, Reyna, was a part of it.
Reyna said a quick, silent prayer to Venus as she looked over at Jason, his blue eyes sparkling in excitement. If only he'd make a move while they were in Rome...that would be wonderful. Sure, the world might end come August, when the Titan's army attacked, but at least she and Jason could have a week together. Please, Venus, she prayed. We've been through enough. Just one week. Please.
Reyna never got her one week. She didn't even get her kiss. Instead, Juno took Jason away for eight months, and then he showed up with another girl, a daughter of Aphrodite, Venus's Greek form, no less. A pretty clear indication that she didn't have the goddess's favor.
But Piper didn't have the memories she did. Piper probably didn't know Jason's every move in a sword fight. She probably didn't know that he spoke a little German or that he loved watching cheesy movies and then dancing at one in the morning. And she never would know that about him, never have the memories from his life at Camp Jupiter.
But Reyna did.
Running scared, I was there
I remember it all too well
"RUN, REYNA!" Jason yelled, grabbing her hand. They ran through the battlefield, ducking monsters and the occasional Titan. Finally, they ducked behind a wall. Safe for the moment, Reyna turned to Jason.
"You can't go up there. You can't battle him. It's suicide, Jason!"
"Reyna, you know he's the one controlling all of this! If I can stop him, we might have a chance to win this thing!"
Reyna studied his eyes. They were desperate, scared, grasping at anything to save the Romans. She sighed. There was no changing his mind now.
"Fine. But I'm coming with you."
"You can't. One of us has to live. The Romans need a leader."
Reyna forced back a sob. "So you admit it. You could die."
"I could. I'm sorry. But I have to stop this."
Reyna knew she would wind up letting him go. Jason was Roman to the core, just as she was. But she didn't want to lose him.
"Swear to me that you'll do your best to come back to me," she insisted, gripping his wrist. No time for pretences now. He locked eyes with her.
"I swear." She exhaled and released his wrist.
"Go." He kissed her forehead, then leapt out from behind the rock and started to fight his way towards the palace of Kronos. Reyna allowed herself one split second of grief, then jumped out, too, and fought her way back towards the Roman armies.
Of course, Jason had come back. But the look in his eyes as he kissed her forehead had been so passionate, that Reyna couldn't forget it. It was the same look he'd worn about two weeks later at one A.M. as they danced around the room. Jason had loved her. Reyna was sure of it. And she had loved him. But he had moved on, and there would never be any turning back.
And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
Cause I remember it all, all, all too well
Reyna's phone vibrated next to her, and she reached over and grabbed it, laying down the novel she'd been reading. Naturally, it was from Jason.
Senate meeting in an hour, you coming?
Of course, she texted back. Not two seconds later, her phone rang. Jason. Reyna felt a rise of anger in her chest. She knew exactly what he wanted. Can't we just forgive and forget, Rey? Please?
Her answer never changed. No. No, they could not just forget. How could Jason even suggest that? Didn't he remember everything that she did? He claimed to have his full memory back and had perfectly described the battles and adventures he'd been on. That meant he had to have remembered her, right?
She saw the answer in his eyes every time he looked at her. Yes. Yes, he remembered.
Reyna slumped onto her pillow, curled into a ball, and tried to think of something happy. Her favorite movie? No, she'd watched that with Jason. Triumphs in battle? Due to Jason. Everything reminded her of him. They'd been so close. So close to being a couple. Such close friends. Why did Piper have to come in and ruin everything?
She threw the phone across the room when it rang for the second time. It hit the wall with a satisfying CLUNK, and Reyna laid back down on her pillow. She had to prepare herself for the upcoming Senate meeting.
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone
It had been three months since the Giant War had ended, and Reyna still didn't feel like her old self. Sure, the memories were less strong now, and it was easier to get through the day, but each day dragged on longer than the next, and Reyna felt as though she'd aged a year each day.
Not to mention she felt different. It was so strange, having Piper at Senate meetings. Reyna felt less in control with Piper there. Piper often spoke her opinion using charmspeak. Whether or not that was intentional, Reyna wasn't sure, but the one time she'd asked Piper about it, the girl had acted confused and said she didn't know what Reyna was talking about. Then she'd walked off with Jason, which brought on a whole new round of emotional pain for Reyna. He'd even been wearing a plaid shirt that day...gods...
Jason looked horrible in plaid, but he loved it, wore it all the time. Reyna teased him about it, but she really did love that he didn't care how he looked when he wore it. He defied what others thought. Who cared? It was his own opinion of himself that mattered most.
That Jason was gone now. He seemed so less independent, less complete without Piper by his side. Reyna didn't know what had happened to the old Jason, but the Romans seemed to like the new one more. Well, that was just great.
"Reyna, I've got something for you," Dakota called. He hobbled up to her and handed her a brown box. "Uh...Jason said to give it to you."
Reyna felt her face harden. "Right. Thank you, Dakota." She turned and walked away quickly, not even looking at the box until she was back in the praetor's villa. Then, she opened it with shaking hands and gasped.
It was her things. Everything she'd ever left at Jason's house was in that box. Reyna felt as though someone had just stabbed her in the heart. Everything ... everything that connected them. And he hadn't even given it to her himself.
She should be angry. No, she should be furious with the boy for being such a coward. But she couldn't be angry, not when tears were flooding down her face from the memories. Not when she remembered everything too well.
There was one article of clothing missing, the one she remembered most. Reyna shifted through everything, and when she was sure it wasn't there, she dried her tears and braced herself to go next door.
But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it cause you remember it all too well
"Jason?" Reyna called, stepping through the door of the praetor villa next to hers. There was an open suitcase on the floor from his most recent journey to Camp Half-Blood, but no one answered her call. He must not be back from the Senate meeting yet.
Reyna knew she should leave, but a ray of sunlight illuminated something in the suitcase on the floor. The sight of it was enough to paralyze her, but she shook herself out of it and stepped closer, kneeling by the suitcase. Sure enough.
It was her old cream-colored scarf, the one she wore the Christmas before the Titan War. She'd left it at Jason's house that night, and it was the one thing that hadn't been in the box he returned. Reyna slowly lifted it to her cheek. It still smelled of her perfume, after all this time.
And that was when she really broke down and sobbed, let everything out. All the things she remembered. But this time, as she went back through her memories, it occurred to her that there had been more than one person there. Jason was there too. And the fact that he'd kept that scarf with him ... it was proof that he remembered everything, too. And he understood what she did: that it would never work out between them. But he wanted it to. Just as much as she did.
Cause there we are again when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
All the times she and Jason had shared together, from fights, to battles, to picnics, experiences on little town streets, movie nights, dances in the middle of the night, and even all those times their eyes had met and Reyna had felt a spark, came pouring back into her mind as she cried on the floor. Every single thing, even things so distant she'd almost forgotten. A waterfall and a rainbow, trusting for the first time. The dark of the night, a burning pain in her right shoulder, Jason's frantic voice. And even her thoughts the first time she saw him. The pain and betrayal she'd felt when she first realized Piper and Jason were a couple.
Back when he lost her. She was the one real thing he'd ever known. His relationship with Piper was a trick of the Mist. And somehow, it was more real than the four year friendship he'd had with Reyna.
Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it
All Too Well
"Reyna?"
Reyna whirled, tears still streaming down her face. There in the doorway stood Jason, and behind him, Piper, looking aghast. But Reyna could only see the pain in Jason's eyes.
"Wind in my hair, you were there," she said. She saw the memory start to play in his eyes. "Down the stairs, you were there," she cried, her voice rising. "Don't you remember it?"
"Of course I do," he whispered, the pain in his voice matching her own. "I remember it all too well."
They approached each other, moving as one, just as they always did. For one minute, Reyna ignored Piper, and the curious crowd of Romans on the other side of the door. She ignored everything and everyone except Jason's face. And she dropped her cream-colored scarf and threw her arms around him, his arms flew around her waist, and they kissed.
It was angry, passionate, a reminder of their past. What should have been. What would never be. Jason's tears joined with Reyna's as their lips moved in harmony. It felt as though every memory they ever shared poured into that kiss, and their lips became gentler against each other's, less urgent, as they remembered better times. Finally, Reyna knew she'd had him long enough, and she kissed him gently one last time before pulling away to look him in the eye.
"We can make this work," he pleaded, his lips and eyes red.
"No, we can't," she whispered. "You know that. I do, too. It wasn't meant to be."
"I know," he whispered. "But I loved you. I just thought you should know."
"I loved you, too, Jason," she whispered, and then he let her go, and she removed her arms from his neck, and walked out the door, through the Romans, and into her villa. It was time to move on.
While Jason and Reyna never were truly the same after that, they both learned to be happy, and to live with their pain. Jason married Piper, and they lived out their days in New Rome with all their children. Reyna, for her part, eventually fell for Leo and married him. Their two daughters were fighters, just like their mother, and mechanics, like their father.
While Leo understood Reyna loved Jason, he also knew that she loved him just as much. Piper, too, understood this concept and accepted it. Jason kept Reyna's scarf, and Reyna kept one of his old plaid shirts. It was their reminder that love doesn't always end happily.
Still, it wasn't easy for any of them when Jason's son married Reyna's eldest daughter.
Review!
Lovelovelove -D-