Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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Momentum
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Have I been travelling so long
that I've forgotten how to stop?
(Patrick Wolf - Thickets)
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The Doctor was running again, as fast as his feet would take him.
'Amy!' he yelled at the top of his lungs, as the world flew past in a blur. 'Amy!'
He wasn't running for his own life, he was running for hers.
'Amy!'
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'Doctor Smith. Doctor Smith!'
He woke up with a start. A bright light shone down from the ceiling of an equally bright white room, blinding him momentarily. He tried to get up from whatever he was lying on, but strong hands held him down. He started kicking, but only managed to get his feet entangled in the sheets that covered him.
'Let me go, I need to help Amy! Let me go!' he screamed into the light.
'You need to calm down, Doctor Smith. Doctor Pond is fine. She will be right in. But you need to calm down.' The nurse looked down at the Doctor with a stern look on her harsh face. Her dark hair was pulled back into a tight knot at the nape of her neck.
'Kovarian,' the Doctor breathed and tried to back away from the white-clad woman, only to have his back hit the wall immediately. His eyes darted back and forth, but Madame Kovarian was standing between him and the door and his hands feeling for his screwdriver under the sheets and in his pockets came up empty.
The madame stood with her hands on her hips and heaved a sigh.
'Doctor Smith,' she said with only little patience left in her voice, 'Not this again. It is pronounced Kovarain and before you start, I am still not a member of those Quiets of yours.'
'Anna, I got it,' someone suddenly spoke up from behind Madame Kovarian's back. It was a voice the Doctor had heard many times before, one he would recognize anywhere.
'Amy!'
He hastily untangled himself from the sheets, his long legs proving to be a disadvantage in this, and jumped out of the bed.
'Amy!' he said again, before hugging his red-headed friend fiercely, his nose buried in her long curls.
He didn't see the reassuring look that passed from Amy to Madame Kovarian. The latter nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Amy gently removed the Doctor's arms. Then she gestured to the two plastic chairs positioned at the tiny table in front of the even smaller window. Reluctantly the Doctor let go of his friend and sat down. Amy took the other chair.
'How are you today, John? You've had dreams again?'
The Doctor watched Amy fold her hands. It felt stranger hearing her use the name, so unlike his real name, he had made up for himself all those years ago. Years that now seemed to be only shadows in his mind.
'Why aren't you wearing any nail polish?' he asked suspiciously, drawing back slightly.
Amy looked surprised by his question for a moment, but then she looked at her nails and back at him with that familiar grin playing around her lips that showed the Doctor that this was indeed still his Amy. Even if she didn't remember.
'It's more practical for work, but I wear nail polish on weekends. I think I'll go with deep blue this weekend, what do you think?'
The Doctor smiled back at her. 'Yowza.'
Amy laughed. 'That's set then. Now, John, tell me about your dreams. '
The smile faded off his face as his eyes met Amy's.
'I wasn't dreaming, I was remembering, Amy. And you have to remember, too. We had adventures together. Amelia Pond, the girl who waited, and the Doctor in the TARDIS. Remember how we used to run; remember Rory.'
'Are you talking about Rory Williams? The young man you always tell stories about the Romans?'
'They're not stories. He was a Roman once, well, technically he wasn't a real Roman. He was the Last Centurion and he was plastic made to believe that he was a real human. Although the gun in his hand came in handy against the Dalek. But never mind that. Amy, he waited two thousand years for you,' the Doctor said and took her hands. 'And you have remembered him once, you can remember him again.'
Amy looked at the Doctor's large hands covering her own ones. There was the tiniest trace of doubt flickering across her face.
'I need you to do something for me as well,' she said at length, looking back up.
'Anything.'
'I need you to take your pills.'
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He had been wrong, the Doctor realized as he looked into Amy's eyes. This wasn't yet his Amy again. He swallowed down the bitter tears - no happy crying for him this time.
'I can't, Amy,' he gave back. 'They make me forget and I may never do that. If I forget … it will never come back, Amy.'
'John,- '
'My name is not John!' the Doctor shouted, pounding his fist on the table so hard it hurt. The loud noise echoed through the room like thunder.
'I'm the Doctor,' he added in a sad voice.
There were two male nurses standing in the doorway suddenly, cautiously looking at the Doctor. But Amy nodded at them and they left the room with a last look at the sad and lonely man.
'You're name is Doctor John Smith. You- '
'No,' the Doctor interrupted her again, but the anger that had been in his voice had vanished and now there was only despair.
'No. No. No. I am the Doctor. From the planet of Gallifrey. I am the last of the Time Lords.'
He wasn't getting through to her. Her doubt was so obvious it was almost like a palpable barrier between them.
'I will come back later, if that's alright.' Amy got up and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. 'Right now you should get some rest. We'll talk later.'
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She had left the room and closed the door behind her long ago, before the Doctor realized that he was alone. He didn't know what to believe. Everywhere he looked he saw people and things he remembered, but every time he mentioned it he was told that it wasn't true, that he was someone else. He had heard them murmur behind his back: To them he was only a crazy old man.
A sudden wave of fury seemed to collapse on top of him. He got off his chair, knocking it back and pound his fists against the door.
'I'm not crazy! I am not crazy!