A/N: This is somewhat of a songfic. Based off the song "I Won't Let Go" by Rascal Flatts. This story is rated M for gore. Also just so you know you might want to consider grabbing a tissue. I bawled my head off writing this (of course I had "The Obliviation" from the HPDHpt1 soundtrack on loop and it really set the mood. You should listen to it while you read this. It helps, just saying.) Don't forget to Review!
And a big thank you to the lovely MissBubbles for her amazing Beta work. I like the story much better this way. I'm very proud of it. Thank you!
**Disclaimer: The poem below was written by and belongs to Cody of .com. (I have permission to use this poem) All things Harry Potter: characters, places, settings, etc. belong to JK Rowling. This story was not made for profit. No copyright fragment was intended. This story was written purely for fun.
Revised as of 9/27/11
"When you get lost, I'll show you the light
I swear to defend you, to put up a fight
I'll hold you through your darkest night
I'll give you strength and hold you tight
And as we lay here tonight
I promise everything's alright"
Totallyrandom2 | Tumblr | Cody
Won't Let Go
It was hard to watch. Spells and curses were being thrown everywhere. Dark magic, very dark…. I honestly don't know what I was thinking while I watched it happen. I was just… in shock. It was all happening so fast, so differently to the way I thought it would. It was the most horrible thing I'd ever seen in my life.
I remember when it finally ended. It was horrific: the most crushing, heartbreaking night of my life. As I stand here I remember watching everyone running, trying to get away before Hogwarts collapsed on top of them. They were happy, would be happy, once they got away. Once they were free. I would never be free. And neither would he.
We all watched as they stood in the Chamber of Secrets, volleying words in English and Parseltongue. All the students of Hogwarts were watching. And most of the teachers: the ones who were still alive anyway. McGonagall was gone. So were Slughorn and Snape and Flitwick. No one could understand half of what was being said. Hex after hex, jinx after curse, back and forth and back and forth until finally they grew weak.
They were both hurt badly: very badly. Voldemort had lost his wand hand. Harry had lost his right arm to a nasty slicing curse from You-Know-Who. They were bleeding heavily, struggling to breath, and could barely stand up they were so exhausted. I'm still surprised they made it as long as they did.
It was love that did it. One final curse rebounding because of the sacrifice of so many who loved him: Charlie, Fred, George, Cho, Wood, Lee, Alicia, Kinsley, Tonks, Mad-Eye. The list could go on forever. Voldemort was just so much more powerful than the last time; no one knew how much it would take to finally have enough power to finish him off. It didn't matter anyway. It didn't make a difference.
Harry didn't know we were going to do it you see. It was one of those "we'll use this as a last resort" sorts of thing. Dumbledore was dead, and so was Snape, killed at the hand of Voldemort after finding out where his true loyalties lay. Harry really was our last hope.
So it turns out Dumbledore was right. The 'Power the Dark Lord knows not' was love after all. Who would've thought, eh? Who would've thought….
But Harry was just so distraught; I don't think he knew how to handle it. Watching so many people jump in front of Killing Curses sent toward you, meant for you, a final mad attempt by Voldemort to take your life. He kept going, and so did the people. It was like people were lining up to die for him.
Finally Voldemort stopped and so did the death. Harry as though he was going to pass out, staring at all the bodies lying at his feet. Voldemort just stood there and looked at Harry, waiting for him to do something to him. I don't think many people noticed the white light that was glowing around Harry, shining from his eyes. I don't think anyone noticed the black light shining from Voldemort.
Suddenly Harry cracked. He looked so angry that I was surprised Voldemort didn't just drop dead right there from the intensity of the glare. The Chamber started to shake. There was this sort of wind that came from nowhere. And I knew in that moment that they were going to end it. Harry looked murderous and Voldemort looked… well, he looked like Voldemort; I don't think anyone could've looked more murderous than that.
They both raised their wands and I heard them both shout those two dreadful words that wizards and witches everywhere fear to hear.
It was like the moment before a massive explosion. All the sound seemed to be sucked from the air as those two curses were sent towards each other in seemingly slow motion, brother wands set against each other. When the curses hit… that's when all hell broke loose.
It was like a sonic boom, it could've been heard all over the world. The two curses met, and the world fell apart. There was a green light so bright no one could see anything, and everyone was thrown back off of their feet. It seemed like years before the light finally cleared.
I really don't think anyone waited around to see if Harry or Voldemort had won. Even You-Know-Who's most loyal servants left before making sure their 'Dark Lord' was okay. But I had to stay. I had to make sure Harry was alright
So when the light finally clears I start looking for Harry. The Chamber is still shaking, like an earthquake more powerful than anything I've ever seen has hit it. Pieces of the ceiling are falling, the walls are crumbling, and the ground is cracking. It is Hell.
I see Voldemort first. He is dead. Burnt alive by the looks of it: his burnt mouth open in a deathly, agonizing scream, his scorched skeleton lying in a fetal position. The smell of burnt flesh fills my lungs and I retch.
When I finally find Harry he isn't very far from where he was standing just moments before. What I see it terrible.
He's deathly pale, panting heavily, looking around wildly, his eyes wide in panic and fear. His face, reflecting deep pain and suffering, is drenched with sweat but there are no tears. He wasn't crying. Looking past his face to the rest of his body, I see that what is left of his arm is still bleeding horribly, but that isn't what makes me sick all over again. A rock, a very thin, tall, sharp rock, has fallen and cut his body in half from the waist down. There's blood everywhere and I can see his hip and pelvic bone sticking out from his flesh, and his intestines hanging out too. It is so horrific, there is so much blood I just… I…. I can't.
I kneel down beside him and try to comfort him in his last moments, because I know I won't be able to save him. He has lost too much blood already, the whole place is about to collapse, and the only people left in the Chamber are me, Harry, and all the dead. It takes me a minute to get him to look at me. When he finally does, his eyes are so pained and haunted that I have to look away. When I finally look back he seems to have calmed down a little, but is still refusing to cry.
"Hey, mate," I whispered softly. My voice is calm and collected; I'm shocked because it doesn't match how I feel at all.
He just keeps looking at me, struggling to free his arm from underneath his back. How he's still alive, I have no idea.
"You alright?" The question is so tremendously stupid and barbaric that I want to take it back as soon as I've said it. Here is Harry Potter, my best friend, just a boy of seventeen years old, about to die. Of course he isn't alright. I feel so righteously stupid and insensitive that I want to punch myself for asking that question.
Although, to my surprise, when I look back at Harry, he's finally calmed down, and is just lying there, looking at me, a slight smile on his face… by now I'm pretty convinced that his mind has finally cracked from lack of oxygen.
"I've been better," he says, he voice hoarse, and it cracks. He continues to look at me for a moment before starting to panic again.
"What? What is it? Breathe Harry, come on – tell me what's wrong." Again, I feel like a right arse for the things I'm saying, but I keep with it. I don't know why I do.
He stops struggling again and looks at me, this time with so much pain and fear and suffering it brings tears to my eyes, but I hold his gaze. And as he looks at me, he says in a frantic broken whisper that shatters my heart into a million pieces: "I'm dying."
I stare right back into those brilliantly bright green eyes, finally starting to shine, whether from tears or just glazing over because I was finally about to lose him, I don't know.
"No you're not, you're just… you're taking a really long nap, that's it," I say, tears sliding down my face, "And when you wake up, you'll realize that everything is better and you don't have to worry about anything anymore."
"I don't want to die," he breathes, looking around, a single tear leaking from his eye, "I want t-to stay h-here… with y-you, a-and Hermione and G-Ginny…." He is sobbing brokenly now, his breathing becoming more and more erratic as he looks frantically around the falling Chamber. I feel a bolder fall and land right behind me but I don't move. I don't even flinch. I'm not going to leave Harry, not like this.
"I know, but – but we'll see each other again, we can – we'll be together again."
"I loved her… Gin-ny. I n-never told h – her, did I?" He gives a slight breathless chuckle.
"She knew, mate… trust me. She knows." I'm trying so hard not to let the tears fall, but I can't stop them, and they just fall to the ground, mixing with Harry's blood.
"I'm s-sorry… by the way," he breathes, becoming more still, his eyes drifting slowly closed before popping back open again.
"Sorry for what?"
"For F-Fred, and George, and Ch-Charlie…"
"They knew what they we're doing mate," I whisper, tears falling rapidly now, "they did it because they loved you, because they wanted to protect you, not because they had to. It was their choice."
"Still… I'm sorry…."
He jumps slightly and opens his eyes wide and looks at me. He looks so scared I feel my heart break even more, so much so it's like a physical blow. It hurts so much….
"I'm afraid to c-close… my eyes…."
"It's okay, mate… close them… I'll be right here, don't worry."
"I don't want to die…" he chokes out, his eyes slipping closed as if by their own accord.
"I know… it's alright… it'll be over soon, I promise."
Things go quiet for a while and Harry stops moving. I think he's dead and right when I'm about to let out an anguished sob, he speaks again.
"Do you t-think… they'll b-be there?"
"Who?"
"Mum," he whispers so softly I have to strain to hear, "Dad, Remus, and Sirius…Dumbledore…."
I let out a choked sob and look up, begging God or Merlin or anyone who is listening to give me the strength to keep talking. "The thing is, Harry, I don't think they every really left. I think they've always been with you, in here," I say, gently touching his chest at his heart. I feel hardly any pulse, and try not to jump or pull away because of how cold he is. I have to comfort him. I have to stay with him until his last moment.
"But yeah… I think they'll be there. But it won't feel weird or awkward because you haven't seen them in a while, or because you never really got to know them. They're really just welcoming you home."
"Home," he breathes. "I like the sound of that."
He is quiet again and stops moving again, and once more I think he's dead, until he speaks again, this time so weak that I know these will be the last words to ever escape my best friend's lips.
"Ron… stay with me, will you?" Two fat tears leak from his eyes as I reach for his hand and grip it as tightly as I possibly can. "Promise you won't let go. Swear to me you won't let go."
I look away, my eyes closed tight and breathe, and when I look back I can tell he is barely hanging on, waiting for my answer before he slips away, forever.
"I promise, Harry. I promise, no matter what happens, I won't let go."
He takes one last deep breath before releasing it slowly, and not taking another. I grip his hand tight and lower my head to his chest, sobbing desperately. When I finally look up, I look into Harry's face with fierce determination, squeezing his hand in a death grip as I feel the ceiling cave in, and the walls crumble and Hogwarts collapses on top of the Chamber of Secrets.
And I look into his face, with a feeling of protection and love I've never felt before and whisper, "I won't let go," as the world crashes down on top of me.
Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
-I Won't Let Go | Rascal Flatts