Summary: Four years later, Chrome needs to tell Tsuna a lie.
Note: Spoilers up to chapter 168. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Halve Your Heart
He'd be suspicious. She was sure of it.
Chrome stared at the hem of her shirt. It was bunched-up with wrinkles where she'd clutched it, and her palms had got so damp that they'd left dark spots on the fabric.
Her fingers stroked compulsively to try and flatten the wrinkles, and she conjured a tiny illusion to make her appearance normal. Then she let it fade - Tsuna would sense it and could realise something was wrong. Then she cast it again, because she could tell him she used illusions in place of make-up—
Footsteps started up in the quiet neighbourhood. Chrome jumped and looked behind her to see a woman with shopping bags slung over her shoulder walking down the pavement, and then turned back and knocked on the door of the Sawada home. It would definitely make her look suspicious if Tsuna heard later that she'd stood at the threshold for minutes on end.
All she needed to do was be normal. The same voice and the same expressions, but absolutely no illusions. If Tsuna was harder to lie to than some, he was still easier than others.
The door opened. "Chrome-chan!" Sawada Nana smiled and stood aside to let her enter.
"Sawada-san. I'm here to see Tsuna."
"Oh, he's up in his room. Would you like to—"
Chrome was already going up the stairs. She sent a nod and a smile of acknowledgement over her shoulder, but didn't linger; when Tsuna's mother caught her, Chrome found it difficult to escape before she'd eaten a three-course meal and helped make another one to take back to Kokuyo Land. "Thank you," she added as Tsuna's mother stopped talking and sighed.
The Sawada household served as a makeshift headquarters now that Tsuna had graduated high school and taken on more Vongola responsibilities, and she'd been required to show up here several times to receive orders. She was familiar with the obstacles by now, checking for toys, traps, and weapons left underfoot by the kids and Reborn.
Tsuna's door was open. "Boss," she said, standing at the threshold.
"Aah! Chrome? Come in!" Tsuna looked around, probably thinking he should have cleaned his room. He pulled the chair away from his desk. "Sit down."
"I have a favour to ask," she said as she sat, and Tsuna stopped shoving aside the piles of stuff on his floor and sat down on the bed.
"Oh. Okay." He sounded surprised, and she was glad - she had rarely burdened the Vongola with requests. "What is it?"
"I want to go on a trip."
"A trip?" Tsuna looked uncertain for a moment, but he smiled to make up for it. "Sure! I don't mind."
It was a lot to ask, and Chrome knew it. She felt her fingers knitting together despite her resolve to stay composed, and forced her hands to lie still as she bowed her head. "Thank you."
"It's a good idea. I'm glad you're taking a break!" He was starting to look enthusiastic. "I wish I could tell some the others to do the same thing. There aren't even enough jobs to send Onii-san on. He's always saying he's bored."
Chrome nodded, and took a deep breath to continue. "Please don't tell everyone else right away why I'm gone. Ken and Chikusa don't want people to know I'm going with them."
Tsuna frowned. "I thought you guys were getting along now."
"We've always got along."
"Umm, sure, but I meant ... better than before. Those guys are a lot friendlier with everyone, nowadays."
She almost apologised, since they didn't mean to be, but it didn't really matter. "The trip might take a while. I apologise in advance for the inconvenience," she said, determinedly keeping her voice steady, but her hands escaped her and clamped onto the seat of the chair.
The pressure of Tsuna's gaze was palpable. He could tell that she was nervous. "Don't worry about it. We probably won't have any more trouble than usual." He let his breath out in a worried whoosh of air, and then gave a half-smile. "We'll manage. I mean, the Ninth says we'll be getting more to do, but so far it seems like most of it won't be tough enough to be really troublesome. But around when should we expect you back?"
"The plans aren't completely set," Chrome said. Not true. They were set and memorised by all four of them, using every detail Mukuro had been able to learn of through Guido Greco. But to Tsuna she said, "We're going to Italy, but Ken and Chikusa don't want to visit all the same places."
"I guess they do miss it after all... It's nice that you'll finally get to look around in Italy, rather than being stuck in Vongola meetings the whole time. Hey - do you have a camera?"
"Chikusa does."
"Good!" he said. She looked at Tsuna's collar to avoid the brightness of his smile. "Maybe I can plan a holiday if I see any nice places that you guys have gone to. If Reborn will let me." He sighed, and then shook his head in self-deprecation. "Anyway, you can call when you come back if you need to be picked up. Ask Gokudera about who to talk to in Italy if you need anything."
Chrome nodded. She knew she could ask Gokudera that; or she could ask him, Ryohei or Yamamoto to pick her and the boys up personally in the middle of Italy, though the latter two barely knew the country and fumbled with the language, and they would give the phone weird looks and say 'what the hell', and show up to get her anyway.
They didn't need her, of course. They'd do as well as ever without her and would hardly notice she was gone - one less person in the crowd to make contingency plans for, to clap on the back and to dance really badly with at the big get-togethers.
Need was reserved for Ken's hungry, howling maw, for tired, bent Chikusa, and for the place inside her that had become shrivelled under the weight of years and water, alone in the dark. In a few weeks Mukuro would be free. That was what she needed to do.
"Chrome? I mean it, you don't have to worry. We'll be okay - or is it going away you're worried about? We could get you bodyguards..."
Tsuna didn't need her either; Chrome didn't know if their absence would cost him a single smile so long as he had the rest of the family to keep him busy. But he continued to give while from now on she could only take.
"Keep the Mist ring while I'm gone," she said.
Astonishment, anger, and almost obscured panic rose in a once-removed part of her, and Chrome knew that with that, her story had failed and the plan to free Mukuro would not last out of Tsuna's bedroom door. It was a simple task, just words to buy them time, and she had ruined it—
She couldn't think what else she could have done with Tsuna right there in front of her, kind and bewildered.
"What? No! What if you run into trouble? You won't be as strong without that." Tsuna stood as he spoke, stepping forwards, and folded his hands over hers so that she couldn't remove the ring. "Even if you leave you are the Vongola Mist guardian - you and Mukuro - so that's yours."
"Yes," Chrome said instantly, before the uncertainty in his voice became a question. "But ... but I..."
She shouldn't say it. Any leaked information might make its way outside of the Vongola base and could be given to the Vindice - or what if Hibari heard and attacked Mukuro as soon as he was free? Even Gokudera might get in the way due to anger at her desertion.
"Chrome, what's going..." Tsuna's voice slowed and stopped. "Do I want to know?"
Chrome's shoulders hunched up. "I don't think so."
"And you have to go?"
"I have to."
Anger creased his face and his eyes clenched shut in frustration, but that was all he did for long, silent seconds. Then Tsuna's hands tightened around hers. "Come back afterwards. When you're done," he said, and her insides wound tight with relief.
"I want to."
His hands released hers, and then he put his arms around her shoulders. Chrome went ramrod straight, and he squeezed almost defiantly before pulling back, flushed. It might have been from awkwardness or annoyance. "I wish you hadn't come," Tsuna said. "Now I should order you to stay, or organise a watch on you."
She flinched. "I'm sorry. I can't ... let you... Don't. Please don't, Boss. We can't afford anyone watching..."
"No help at all?" He gave a wavering smile when she shook her head. "I'm glad you came anyway. Bye, Chrome. Give my regards to Chikusa and Ken."
She leaned forwards and kissed his cheek. The memory it evoked made him smile, and Chrome let out a long sigh in the face of his reminiscence. "Goodbye, Boss."
"Be careful," Tsuna said, fear an ache in his voice. Chrome nodded and walked out, pulling the door shut behind her. They could only be as careful as Mukuro's plan allowed, and that wasn't much at all, but it was best to let Tsuna have the little illusion. It was all she had to give.