Summary: Ichinose Yuuchirou had tried something no one has expect him to do, he tries to commit suicide. And Mika finds a dia-I mean journal, debating the reasons of his attempted suicide.

Warning: MikaYuu AU!Universe angst one-shot, might be OOC Yuu and Mika, cussing, etc.

"The future's open wide, beyond believing.

To know why, hope dies.

Losing what was found, a world so hollow.

Suspended in a compromise."

-Shattered, Trading Yesterday

Chapter 1

Mika was shaking furiously. He couldn't believe it. He just... couldn't. It was 5 days and the fact is unbelievable. The event was rare, especially at Owari no Serafu Academy, shocking too. Unfortunately, the entire school knows it and everything has flip upside down.

He glances at the diary he's holding right now. After the suicide, he keeps a diary too?

It was a normal day, at Owari no Serafu College. Maybe as normal Owari no Serafu College can be with hormones-crazy vampires and humans together. It depends who you are, because you might be killed or alive.

The vampires are the outcasts. They are judge by their race, even though some of them used to be humans, so immediately they being cast away and was called, dark, evil, and sadistic. Unfortunately, he is one too, because of his adopted parents, Ferid and Krul.

Humans are different, they have to be protected from the vampires, like the Japanese Demon Imperial Demon Army or the Japanese Moon Demon company, but they are treated the same from the vampires.

But this morning Mika's eyes are red and swollen. And if anyone knows Mika, they would know that he doesn't cry, scream, or show any emotions. He just sits there with his mask of indifference, sometimes smirks, smile, or sneered. He ignored them all, they didn't care, they never care as he walks down the hallways to his dorm with Yuu.

He enters the room hesitatingly, staring at the scene, just shaking like a leaf. Blood. So much blood was in this room. His Yuu was in it covered with so many injuries holding a diary, soon pick up by him.

Yuu hasn't keep a diary for all he knew, because Yuu thought it wasn't apparently manly enough for his taste. It seems like he doesn't know his friend good enough, and the two of them has been together since the orphanage, so why did he try to kill himself?

Right now, Yuu is in the hospital, no one except the doctors and Yuu's parents can enter. But Yuu wrote him a note to read his diary with his horrible handwriting.

Up to now, he has been afraid to read it. He was holding the diary tightly as he walks to Yuu's bed with new bed sheets and pillows. The cover still bloodied where Yuu was holding it. He lays against the bed filled with dread.

With a sigh, he turns to the first page.

Dear the person who is reading my fucking journal-not-diary,

He laughs bitterly, Yuu always going to have some humor, isn't he?

I know that you probably won't like it when I explain the reason why.

Mika rolls his eyes; Of course he won't like it. It's the reason why his friend committed suicide.

But life is never fair for everybody.

"Especially for you," Mika muttered silently to himself as he glances at the next words.

Guren, Shinya, my adopted fathers, thank you. You were there for me when my real parents didn't. You took care of me even though my parents believe that I'm a demon spawn, and I'm probably am, but I'm glad I met you guys. You taught me to become stronger despite my past. You taught me how to kill vampires. And I can't thank you enough.

Mika cries angrily staining the page slowly. He is not a demon spawn, so fuck his parents. They are already dead.

Kimizuki, Yochi, Shinoa, Mistuba, Makoto thank you. You guys are the best comrades I could ask for. Although Mika haven't accept you guys before, I still appreciate it. Don't worry about me, and move on. I don't want a pitying party.

Mika snorts, of course he won't accept them during those times, they are not Yuu and Yuu already has a pitying party. He's the host, he noted sarcastically.

Ferid-sensei, I hate you and want to kill you, but you are Mika's parent. But I never forgive you in the past and never will for killing my family.

As if Ferid is his parent, he would never be his true father. Pedophile. Cannot believe he spent his life with him.

Principal Krul, I also hate you and want to kill you. You helped Ferid to turn him into a vampire. But you raised him along with Ferid.

Mika sighs lightly, Typical Yuu.

Father and mother, I know that you loathe me for who you think I am. A demon spawn, but I won't forgive you. You guys will never be my parents ever since you tried to killed me for my real parents are Guren and Shinya. You are the reason why I want to kill myself.

He growls, as his eyes turn red as he clutches the journal tightly. They are the true demons. How dare they hurt Yuu? Abusing their own child-do, they have any humanity?

And I will never become you guys.

Mika smiles softly.

Mika, my true best friend.

His heart suddenly stops.

I'm sorry for leaving you alone. You were always there for me. I should have trusted in you, I tried and I'm unable to. I'm sorry for not telling you about my nightmares. I'm sorry for hiding my depression from you. I'm sorry that I'm afraid of you being killed because of me again. I'm sorry. It was not your fault and you didn't fail me. You're my best friend and I failed you.

It was his fault, he should have known. How could he not notice it? It's his fault for not knowing Yuu more. He know that Yuu have become more aloof. It was not Yuu's fault. He just... couldn't get over the fact that Yuu tried to killed himself.

But I'm sorry for loving you ever since I met you.

He widens his swollen eyes, repeating that same sentence in his head.

Yuu... love him?