Note: This is a story that I wrote about 12,000 words for during nanowrimo before I changed to a different Charmed fanfiction that I am still working on and hoping to have completed and posted by July. I want it to be as close to perfect as I can get it. Now back to this fic, it is not meant to be serious or thought provoking. It's just for a good laugh and I had a lot of fun writing it so I figured I might as well post it for you to read. Nothing major or dramatic will be happening; just a lot of stupid, funny, and borderline illegal stuff. Yes Melinda and Bianca are in this fic and yes, Bianca and Chris are the same age. Please don't leave a review complaining about their existence and/or ages. Please enjoy and leave me a review to let me know what you think! Also, if you have any good ideas on ways they can try to get kicked out of Walmart I would appreciate you helping me out because I don't have 110 yet.
Chapter One-
"Okay Chris, truth or dare?" Prue asked, a grin on her face and a glint in her eyes that meant one thing and one thing only. She had an amazing dare.
Chris, never being one to pass up on a challenge, was happy to accept. "Okay, Prue, I'll let you have this one, dare." He grinned, Prue's dares were usually more funny than embarrassing and they were always good for a couple hundred thousand views on YouTube. Wyatt was never going to live down his Miley Cyrus impression. Seriously, who the hell twerked anymore.
"Glad you chose that Chris," She smiled as she stood up from the circle of truth or dare players gathered on the floor of the attic. You would think that eventually, the adults would come to the conclusion that leaving Wyatt and Chris in charge of their little sister and six cousins would end every single time with something earthier burnt down, blown up, or destroyed. Also, someone occasionally banned from a park or store. Or an entire mall (Only once). There was also one time that Chris got arrested, but they don't speak of that event anymore.
Prue walked over to her overnight bag that was lying on top of a pile of seven other bags, one belonging to each cousin, and one belonging to Chris's girlfriend Bianca who wasn't exactly supposed to be there, but the adults wouldn't be back from New York for another week and a half. No harm no foul, right? Prue dug through her bag for a minute before making a noise of achievement and pulling out a folder. Wyatt and Bianca shot Chris dirty looks. Chris could imagine that they were thinking something like, You Idiot! Someone is going to get arrested. Again. Look what you did now.
She stood up, walked back over to the circle, and sat down. She handed Chris the folder. "Inside that folder is a list of 110 ways to get kicked out of Walmart. You have to do them all, and you can't leave until you do."
Chris flipped through the papers. There were literally 110 things on the list. They were numbered and single spaced. "And you two," She gestured at Wyatt and Bianca, "Have to stay with him the whole time, help him do the stuff, and film each other so we can put it on YouTube."
"Are you really going to make us spend, like, an entire week in a Walmart?" Wyatt asked, his eyes wide, "What if we do get kicked out?"
Prue smiled, "Yeah, I am. Consider it revenge for the super glue incident last month." She cast a glare at Chris, though it was lost on him as he continued to read the list in front of him.
"This is amazing." He declared, "I can't wait. When can I start?" He laughed, looking at the next page. "I am so going to get arrested…"
*CHARMED*
"Okay," Bianca sighed as she followed her boyfriend and his brother into the parking lot of a Walmart supercenter somewhere in Florida. They sure as hell weren't going to risk getting recognized by a worker the next time one of their parents dragged them into that hell hole of a store. All three of them had backpacks that contained a hundred dollars, some snacks, a few extra batteries for the camera, and a list of the one hundred and ten things they had to achieve.
She was pretty sure she'd seen Chris stash a few condoms in his. Boys will be boys.
Chris had been grinning like a mad man for the past hour, he was actually excided to do all of these things, and Bianca had to admit, after reading the list, she was more than a little excited about a few of them.
Wyatt however was not feeling the same level of enthusiasm. He was going to get in the most trouble for this when they got busted, and they would get busted eventually, because he was the oldest. Not to mention the fact that he was about to spend his entire fall break inside a god dammed Walmart with his little brother, hell in a My Chemical Romance t-shirt and old scuffed up converse, and his brothers girlfriend.
Though he did have to admit, the list did look fun and he had no doubt that with Chris behind it, everything would escalate and end in an absolutely hilarious way.
Chris bounced from heal to heal, the exact definition of anxious energy as he waited for Bianca to set up the camera. This time they were clipping it onto her shirt, after using just a tad bit of magic the camera was concealed and they were good to go. As they walked across the parking lot, Wyatt put his hand on Chris's shoulder. "Calm down bro, you're going to get us kicked out before we make it through the doors." Chris nodded.
They made it past the girl scouts, the bell ringer, through the doors and past the greeter without incident and then walked purposefully to the auto department, where there were the least amount of people. Wyatt dug out his checklist. "The first one is…" He trailed off as a smile formed on his lips. Yeah, this was totally going to be worth it.
*CHARMED*
Chris and Bianca each grabbed a cart and headed to the aisle full of condoms, lube, and cheap sex toys. Once there, with completely straight faces, they began go fill both the carts, up to the brim with every scandalous thing they could find. One woman who appeared to be in her early twenties, winked at Chris when he grabbed a few boxes of the largest size condom and dumped them into his cart. He chuckled at her and winked right back, earning a slap on the arm from his girlfriend.
The older woman flushed and rushed out of the isle. A few moments later, Wyatt walked over to them with a basket full of lacy lingerie and dropped equal amounts of both of it into both carts.
"Really Wyatt?" Chris asked as he examined the scraps of fabric in front of him, "Do you have a fetish for women in blue?"
The older of the brothers rolled his eyes. "Would you please shut up and stash the carts in inappropriate places so we can rob young children of their innocence?"
"Sounds great to me!" Chris exclaimed as he and Bianca took off down the aisle, pushing the carts.
When they arrived in the toy aisle, which was thankfully deserted, Bianca discarded her cart then a few moments later Chris left his unattended in the also deserted 'Children's movie' section. As an afterthought, he added a few cans of whipped cream that someone had conveniently left in the five dollar bin, just as Wyatt walked up with a few things that Chris really had no idea they sold at Walmart, and then dropped them onto the pile overflowing from the cart.
Chris narrowed his eyes at him, "How the hell did you know they sold those here?" He asked. Wyatt grinned.
"I asked the very nice sales lady." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "She gave me her number."
Chris rolled his eyes. Only his brother could manage to pick up chicks in a Walmart whilst asking for directions to the floggers, paddles, blindfolds, and handcuffs. "Oh," Bianca whispered as she grabbed Chris's sleeve and pulled him around the corner into another aisle, "Someone's coming." Wyatt quickly followed and the three of them peaked through the holes in the metal panels to watch what was about to happen.
All three of them clamped their hands over their mouths when an old lady walked into the aisle with a little girl who couldn't have been any more than five years old. At first, the old woman didn't see the cart or more likely notice what was inside of it.
That only lasted about as long as it took for the little girl sneak over to the cart while the woman was struggling to read the synopsis on the back of a curious George movie. The little red head pulled a box of condoms through the bars of the carts, she then cast a look at her grandmother before silently prying the box open.
The three teenagers hiding on the other side of the paneling watched in mild horror as the girl clumsily ripped open a metallic package and pulled out the condom, "Look grandma! I found a cart full of these cool balloons!"
Wyatt, Chris, and Bianca had to clamp their hands tighter over their mouths to stop their laughter from escaping as their shoulders shook and a tear slid down Bianca's face from the act of suppressing laughter.
The grandmother spun around and looked at her granddaughter with wide eyes. It made the whole situation funnier when they saw the large gold crucifix hanging on a chain around the grey haired lady's neck. "Lucy Campbell! Put that down, right this instant!" She hissed quietly. The little girl looked mildly offended at her grandmother's reaction.
"But I want to blow it!" She yelled. The old lady's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head.
"You most certainly do not young lady!" She grabbed her granddaughter's wrist and pulled the protesting child out of the aisle, curious George movie still in hand.
The three teenagers finally burst out into quiet laughter as they stood up and discreetly made their way across the store, putting as much distance between themselves and that cart as possible. "That was amazing!" Chris said through his laughter when he could finally articulate coherent words again. "I thought that lady was going to have a stroke!"
"Did you see her necklace?" Bianca asked through her fits of laughter. Chris and Wyatt nodded, laughing even harder at the memory.
"Oh my God," Chris said quietly, "I'm going to pull a muscle. Not from some deviant sex act or a demon attack, but from laughing at a little girl opening a condom! Oh my God, that is so fucked up!" He exclaimed when he realized just how messed up that actually sounded.
Wyatt wrinkled his nose, "I don't want to hear anything about your 'deviant sex'."
That just made them all laugh harder.