Talking Head
Warning: sexually explicit content, mature readers only.
A/N: Okay people I have switched to sexual humor, I needed a break. My last chapter of Bathing Beauty brought the lowest number of reviews I have ever received for any chapter of any story so I must have lost your interest with that one. I'm shelving it due to lack of interest. If I can write ten pages and not even inspire ten people to comment then something has gone terribly wrong. I guide my work by reader response or in that case the lack of it. SO, I am trying a little humor to lighten everyone's mood. I hope you enjoy it; as everyone knows it's not my usual genre. Thanks for reading and as always, comments are greatly appreciated.
Seeley opens his eyes to the worst pain he can ever remember feeling in his head. The light seems way too bright and so he quickly squeezes them shut again but even that hurts. He moans in pain as he moves his head and isn't even aware of it.
"Could you please get the doctor, he's waking up."
There are noises and he knows he's in the hospital. "Bones? What happened?" He doesn't remember how he got here or what happened to him. His last memory is being at Parker's baseball game. Bones had just arrived and he was watching her bend to get some things from her car, after that he has nothing.
"Lie still Booth. We were at Parker's game and one of the boys actually managed to hit the ball and it popped back and hit you in your right temporal lobe. They're checking for extradural and subdural hematoma with…"
"Bones, my head hurts, English please." She smiles because that sounds like him which is a good sign. He tries to open his eyes again and this time he can tolerate it a little better. He can feel the swelling on the right side of his face.
"You got hit in the head with a baseball and they're running some tests to make sure you're okay." He smiles at the sound of her voice but it makes his face hurt and he winces.
"Is Parker with Rebecca?" He remembers that Rebecca was at the game, just down the bleacher from him.
"Yes Booth she took him home and I told him I would call when you woke up so he didn't have to worry about you."
"Thanks. My head is killing me." He can actually feel his pulse throbbing in the side of the head.
"It's a serious injury Booth; they're going to take you up…" As she's speaking the doctor sweeps into the room and walks up to the bed.
"Well we're certainly glad that to see you awake Mr. Booth. You're just in time to go upstairs for a scan so we can see exactly what's going on in that head of yours. I'm Dr. Jacobs and I need you to focus on my finger for a moment."
"Booth I'm going to go call Parker, I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Dr. Brennan we'll have him upstairs by then so if you go to the waiting room at the end of the hall I'll come get you when we bring him back down."
"Thank you Dr. Jacobs. I'll see you in a little while Booth."
"Okay Bones, tell him I'm okay and I'll see him soon and that I love him."
"Okay." He hears her leave the room and tries to focus on the doctor once again.
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Two days later they are finally letting him go home. Bones burst through the door and hands him the duffle he requested from his apartment.
"Thanks Bones, now just give me a few minutes to pack my stuff. Could you do me a favor?" She looks over at him with her brow raised.
"What do you need? Is it still hurting?"
"Yes but nothing like it was before so I'm good. I think it will feel much better though if you could ask the nurse if there's any way I can get a couple of those hospital puddings to go." He flashes the full smile that she hasn't seen in two days and she knows she's going in search of pudding.
"Fine, I'll see what I can do. In the mean time get packed and wait for me here." She flashes a smile of her own and walks from the room. His eyes drop to her hips and ass as she exits.
"Wow, that is some fine looking t & a, we need to tap that in a hurry." The voice is deep and seems to come from behind him and down. He spins so fast his head gives a throb of protest. He's alone in the room.
"What the hell? Who's there?" He tries to sound authoritative but his nervousness creeps into his voice.
"Helllooooo. How soon we forget. We're a team big man and I'm your main attraction."
Seeley looks down and out of instinct he backs up a few steps because that time he could swear the voice came from between his legs.
"If this is some kind of joke I'm going to shoot someone. Hodgins, damn it this has to be Hodgins."
"Hey, I don't know who Hodgins is but unless it's that piece that just left here, I'm not interested in playing."
In complete disbelief Seeley locks himself in the bathroom and pulls the waist of his sweats and underwear out to examine his dick.
"Holy crap that's bright, give a guy some warning will ya? You know I'm not the bright lights kind of guy, more of a cave dweller if you know what I mean." The chuckle scares the hell out of him. He shakes his head and blinks his eyes. His penis is not only talking but laughing. Obviously he has lost his mind. Before he can think it through he pulls the help cord in the bathroom. A moment later there's a frantic knock on the door and a nurse calling his name. He opens the door a crack and tells her to get the doctor, that he has to see the doctor immediately and he isn't letting anyone else in the bathroom.
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When Temperance walks back into booth's room thirty five minutes later there's a nurse standing in his room looking irritated and still somehow concerned. She's not very happy herself considering it took her so long to secure a nearly full case of puddings. She actually had to pay quite a bit to buy all they had left in the cafeteria. The presence of the nurse disturbs her but as she's about to ask where Booth is, she hears him and another voice coming from the bathroom.
"What's going on here?" The voices are muffled but intense and she is at a loss.
"Mr. Booth wanted to talk to the doctor before being discharged. Apparently he had a few urgent questions that needed to be addressed. He pulled the assist cord in the restroom and when I got here he insisted on talking to the doctor and no one else. There is currently two of them in there with him" Having given her explanation she walks out of the room before Temperance really has a chance to respond. She sits on the bed and waits and after another ten minutes the door opens and all three men emerge.
"So Seeley, I'll talk to you tomorrow and if there are any other problems you call me before then."
"Thanks, I'll talk to you tomorrow." The doctor she doesn't know nods at her before leaving the room and Dr. Jacobs stops to shake her hand.
"What's going on Booth?" She can't decide if she's more concerned or frustrated by the situation.
"I just got worried about the side effects of my head. You know, mood swings, inappropriate laughter and anger and all that. They said it should clear up in a couple of days but I have to call tomorrow or let him know if anything gets worse. That was Dr. Gupta, the neuro guy and he said I could get ugly Bones, maybe Hodgins should stay with me instead."
"Seriously dude unless this Hodgins is a stripper you can not send this eye candy anywhere but down the hall in front of you. You must call her Bones because she gives you a boner."
"That doesn't even make sense!" He realizes that he spoke out loud and looks at Temperance in panic. He should just tell her that Dr. Gupta is the neuropsychiatry specialist and came in because he can hear his dick talking to him. She's a doctor; certainly she would understand auditory hallucinations from some temporal mumbo jumbo that have his dick obsessed with her.
Temperance is looking at him oddly. "Booth you're just confused, it'll pass. I said that I already took the days off and Hodgins is working. I can handle this. It makes perfect sense for me to stay with you now come on, let's get you home. I got you almost an entire case of that pudding you love so as soon as you're settled you can have one."
"Hey forget the pudding and let's rewind to the part where she said she could handle this. Tell her she can handle me. Come on, tell her she can handle me all she likes and I promise I'll rise to the occasion." The laughing creeps him out so he grabs the duffle bag as she lifts her bag and his box of pudding and heads for the door.
This is going to be the longest three days of his life.