Merry Christmas

By Sai Hikawa

Disclaimer: I don't own the anime "Naruto". If I did, then it would be a rated M uncensored yaoi anime.

Summary: Naruto wants only one thing for Christmas, but after so many Christmas he's left without the one thing he wants most. Now he decides to do it his way.

Warning: strong language, really obvious perversion.

I've always wanted to do a Naruto fic… but I can't seem to create a good plot. Before vacation, my friend and I wanted to go home early for Christmas. Then I got the idea of creating a Christmas fic.

Chapter has been edited due to a request. :D

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Ahh, Christmas.

It is the time where you receive gifts from your relatives or people who tend to remember and bother to give you a gift. It is also the time when snow comes down to freeze hell over earth. It's also the season where your relatives tend to hide in fear of you popping out all of a sudden to ask money from them.

Fortunately, I have no relatives. Meaning, I would be hiding from no one.

Unfortunately, I'm all alone. I'm spending every Christmas alone...

...but not anymore!

Since Rookie Nine was formed I spent nearly every Christmas with them. I think it was for almost 8 years. We were formed when I was ten, so... I'm eighteen now... so that makes it eight years, right? Well, whatever. The point is that at least I'm not spending Christmas alone unlike the first ten years of my life.

Story of my life. Tough life.

Well, there's nothing much to say about my past, well, since I basically have no past. It's not like I was born a ten-year old. I just don't want to deal with it. Judging from you, I bet you already know it. Damn Internet.

Where was I? Oh yeah. The joy of Christmas.

Why are we celebrating Christmas again? Well, it's because the girls insists. They insist (read: threatens) us that we should spend Christmas together. Pfff. If I know, they only want to spend their Christmas with Sasuke-teme. Sheesh.

Speaking of Sasuke-teme, where is he?

Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Uzumaki Naruto. You probably know me already from the Internet, or have been watching my show. Well, good. I don't have to describe my obviously attractive physical attribute. Although you could see me there as a loud-mouthed idiot, I am not. I kid you not – I'm bright too. Hell, if my mental ramblings didn't help, then I don't deserve to have my own show! I'm not on TV for that long for nothing, you know!

I'm depressed. Scratch that. I'm beyond depressed. Either Santa's put me on the naughty list of he's becoming a bit too fat for this job. Why am I so cranky? It's because I'm left without what I've always wanted for Christmas. Actually, it's a 'who'. This 'who' is actually my walking wet dream. I know he wouldn't like this endearing nickname for him, but I can't help it! I try my best not to... err... you know whenever he's near. Oh, imagine the humility of wetting yourself in front of your Sex God? Not only that, I would risk having him ignore me for the rest of my life, then spending every Christmas cold and alone (though I could make a bunshin and have it do a henge of Sasuke... but that means I'm very desperate, which I'm not)!

Forgive me again for my rambling there. Hanging out with Lee too often tends to make you overdramatic.

Anyway, I call him 'teme' (and trust me, it's very hard for me to say it. Imagine me crying and praying to Buddha that he is not a bastard. Fortunately, I balance this by processing this thought as 'seme', not 'teme'). Didn't get it? Alright. It's between us, okay? His name is Uchiha Sasuke.

What, you don't know? Come on. I wouldn't risk my life trying to kill Haku because I though he killed Sasuke (and that was out of grief and desperation. I do not want to die a virgin. I don't want HIM to die a virgin... though is he still a virgin? I must be his first!), or train myself to bring him back from Orochimaru (with the idea that that Snake-bastard might be doing something perverted to my seme. The thought makes my blood boil with anger! I own Sasuke!).

Well, anyway I'm rambling all about me, Sasuke, and all my friends here... and I haven't even started explaining the whole damn thing anyway, so here's the deal.

It's Christmas here, you know, all the snow and stuff like that. We're now here at Konoha's grand department store... well, actually at the parking lot of the said store since we are selecting a Christmas tree for our party in some days later. The reason we're buying now is because Shikamaru said that it would be troublesome to do it later (and I agree to that opinion). Anyway, the girls are looking at the gigantic specimens of fir trees, Sakura-chan and Ino-chan demanding (that's saying a lot) the guy to lower the price, while some of the boys are looking around since they don't want to be near the girls, mainly Sakura-chan and Ino-chan, at the moment. Sasuke is behind me, looking all uninterested. Can't blame him, though.

But, the sad part is, he knows what Christmas feels like more than I do. Yet, I am determined to finally have what I've always wanted this Christmas. I'm more than willing to do anything to get him for Christmas.

Speaking of the devil, here he is now, walking to me...

Just a little closer…

... and passing through. Sigh. Can't I get the least of your attention here? I mean, come on! I rescued you from the ultra-perverted snake bastard who is always trying to harass you (which gave me endless nightmares and what pushes me further to get your beautiful ass back), and paying close attention to you and you alone! I've made my life a mission to get your attention... couldn't you take a hint? Sadly, he doesn't.

I'm sad. Scratch that, I'm more than depressed. Not only did he actually pass by me at this moment, but on a higher level of thinking. Being in love with Sasuke is like having a romance with a dull, rusty knife – It hurts bad and leaves a killer tetanus virus as an aftertaste. On that though, when did a rusty thing be sharp? Isn't it always dull? Never mind now, here he turns to me!

"Dobe, they're going." He says. "Huh?" I reply. He doesn't reply and turns to walk away from me, so I'm guessing that's the end of today's conversation. How sad. There goes the most memorable one minute of my life today. I actually feel depressed. Anyway, I follow him, while silently glancing around his butt. The only thing I regret is that he turns around occasionally whenever he feels like it. I'm guessing it's because he doesn't want me to get lost (which gives me more reason to adore him) or he feels like someone's watching him (like me). Too bad he doesn't know.

We have reached the group. Turns out they have found a tree. Thanks to Sakura-chan and Ino-chan's... communication (threatening) skills, we got the biggest tree for the cheapest price. I'm guessing it's that goliath of all trees evil and scary that's next to Kiba and Akamaru. Yeah, pretty scary. I know I do not share this thought alone since Hinata is also backing away from the said tree. Not only does it literally stand out above the rest, it is also looking very sharp, literally. This tree must be possessed by a truly evil spirit… Orochimaru, perhaps? Nah. I could tell that that tree's possessed by the eerie feeling I got when I stared at it for ten seconds. That, or the fact that Akamaru was barking at it for five minutes flat, whimpers away, then runs behind Kiba like a crying princess.

I'm actually frightened. If that thing's going to stab me this Christmas season, I'll personally ask Sasuke to burn it down (if ever he'd agree to my selfish request, and assuming that everyone else wouldn't mind) while I reserve my insane cackle privately, or keep my distance. Both seems pretty impossible to do, since eventually I would have to get close to the said tree when gift exchange comes up. Which reminds me, I haven't bought anything!

"Naruto-kun, we're going." Hinata said, pulling me out of my inner rambling. Come to think of it, I've been rambling ever since I got here. Isn't life great?

After the department store the girls made sure that the tree would be delivered by tomorrow morning, meaning I have until tomorrow to celebrate my safety. Too bad I don't know any wood ninjutsu, I could've dismembered the tree or make it less fatal. Life sucks.

I just realized 'wood' is a good thing, especially in the morning. The only exception to the rule is that colossus of a tree, which is bad 24/7.

We're now walking home. Guess what? This is the best time I have for today. You want to know why? Sasuke's beside me. Of course I am a little sad that I'm not walking behind me so I could ogle at his perfectly sexy butt, but the fact that the group is separated between me plus Sasuke and the rest, I have no right to complain. I guess it's pretty much on an elimination basis. Sasuke would never walk with the girls. He hates Neji. Lee's outfit drives him nuts (not only him, but the others as well). He doesn't like to be with Shikamaru and Choji, much less than Kiba and Shino... which leaves me as his walking partner. Yeah, pretty lame, but I ain't complaining!

Poor guys... You don't know how lucky you would've been in my shoes.

We finally reached the Uchiha compound. Everyone's going to stay in for a couple of weeks up until New Year. It took us a whole week of begging before he finally agreed begrudgingly. He made sure we get the "don't you dare touch anything, much less break anything" point of his. Damn, I was going to get some of 'his' stuff... too bad. At any case, I'm not complaining.

Wanna know why? It's because I'm staying with Sasuke in his room.

Yeah, there are so damn many rooms in the compound. But I made Sasuke know that I'm afraid of sleeping alone. He found it out on the most embarrassing day of my life.

It was raining so hard so we got our mission cancelled. It's not like we can't get out of the said rain, but because our client refused to continue the mission because of the storm that almost ripped the village's gates off. I'm currently lying on my bed; comforted by the shelter my humble abode provides me. I was thinking about Sasuke and I, our possible future and such, when suddenly the lights went out (dun dun dun…). I screamed. I'm really, really afraid of being alone in the dark, especially under thunderstorms. The only option left is to seek company. Needless to say, I braced myself and ran to Sasuke.

After drenching myself and putting the thunderstorm aside by thinking of Sasuke, I reached the gates of his home. I desperately waited for him to open the door, which he not so long did. He immediately pulled me in and fixed me a drink and a shower, then demanded an explanation why I went through all that trouble to go bother him at this time of the night under this kind of weather. Knowing that he would possible blackmail me with this, I said it truthfully: I'm absolutely terrified of thunderstorms and blackouts. He didn't laugh, maybe because he understood. Hey, it goes without saying that no one did tell me about it, let alone comfort me. I lived alone all my life. Then, without me asking, he made sure I slept on the same room.

Ain't he sweet… Touch him and die.

Back to the present. He solved it by placing me with him. Sadly, not on the same bed. Hell, I'm taking this as slowly as I can (and it also means as slowly as my sanity and libido could hold), so I accepted it anyway. Though he could place me with the others, not that I don't mind (no, I actually do mind since I'm already sleeping in Sasuke's room, why stay on others?), but why not? Maybe he knows I wouldn't voluntarily sleep with Kiba since Akamaru would poop or pee at me in my sleep? Maybe he knows I fear that Shino's bugs would feast on me should I sleep with him? Could it be that he actually knows that I couldn't stand the others as much as he can't stand them? Nah, he knows I'm very friendly. Could it be that he actually wants me to stay in this room in my request?

"..."

OMG! I love you so much! I'm going to buy you a very special gift.

It's the first day of Christmas, and everything's working smoothly. I wouldn't want to be in any place than this at the moment.

This Christmas might not be so bad after all.

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So how was it? Was it good? Please tell me reviews :D

Please do tell me what I need to do, so that you'll like it.