a/n: Mai is one of my favorite characters. She has been since she was introduced.
And, surprisingly, I don't hate Maiko. I really don't. It's only for comic relief in the show,
so I doubt it's going to last. But I love one-sided Maiko (or one-sided anything, really)
so I decided to write one. It's kind of... different. but I had this idea in my head that
wouldn't leave, no matter how hard I tried.
-x-
n o w y o u s e e h e r
nowyoudon't
-x-
There were nights when Mai would forget who she was.
She would sit on the edge of her bed (too large, too empty) and shut her eyes until all she saw were stars. She concentrated on the soft sound of the rain outside and the draft of cool air that made her even colder than she already was. There was no Ty Lee, no Azula, no bleeding expressions of children hurt by an endless war. There were no stains on the blades she threw, no constant façade of indifference to fool her conscience.
Mai didn't exist.
Everyone and everything she had ever known were erased in a fire that she could not manipulate (a fire that she wished she could control).
Except for Zuko. Zuko stayed.
For once, he stayed when she wanted him to, when she needed him to. He was standing there in front of her, wearing a smile so genuine it looked out of place. He had never smiled at Mai like that. So tonight, she was someone different. Because Mai didn't exist, remember? (Forget.)
She (now another girl with another name) laughed, a joyful noise that flew through the sky, landing in the single, lonely cloud that was drifting in a sky so blue it hurt her eyes. Her hair, long and brown, ran behind her as she darted towards the Zuko that Mai (who?) never got to see, with a heart so full that the contents spilled over the brim as she moved.
They embraced, and she (the Mai that didn't exist) felt happy for the first time in years. His familiar arms held her tenderly, and a name that wasn't her own was whispered into her hair.
"Katara."
Visions of a water tribe peasant with determined eyes overwhelmed her, and the girl named Katara vanished, along with Zuko's love. There was only Mai, with her eyes that wanted to cry, but couldn't, and her head that wondered why the not-Mai – Katara – was not a stranger as she should have been. No, Mai recognized the waterbender. From where, she couldn't recall.
And she didn't want to know. Not really.
Because Mai felt threatened and jealous of the girl who wasn't her, the girl who had what she wanted.
But it was only a daydream, after all.
--
Five years later, Mai ceased to exist.
It was the day of the Fire Lord's wedding to a beautiful woman with a grin that was much too reckless and true. She was from the South Pole. He was Fire Nation royalty. He loved her. She loved him. It was a ceremony that seemed to finally put an end to the war.
And Mai wanted to forget it all.
Every laugh, every scream, every birth, every death. Every little thing that made up who she was; every bottled-up emotion that defined what she was. She wanted it gone. Gone, gone, gone.
But more than anything, she wanted to block out the smile the Fire Lord (Zuko, Zuzu) reserved for her. The girl with the name that wasn't hers, with the heart that wasn't hollow.
So Mai disappeared.