full summery!

Kisame and Itachi have a complicated relationship to say the least, But something isn't right. Itachi's keeping secrets while trying to hide them. Yet to make it worse Deidara wants to destroy what they have to get Kisame for himself. what will happen, will Itachi and Kisame sort this chaotic situation out? if so will it be a happy ending? or will things turn into Deidara's favour and gets what he wants? read to find out!

This is my first fanfiction! of course i had to write a yaoi one and one on KisaxIta one of my favourite pairings! i decided to base it in the first series of Naruto. and to write it in Kisame's point of view mainly because i can!. it's rated M for later chapters and because of Hidan's foul mouth :P and ALL the characters in this fanfiction belong to Masashi Kishimoto, i own none of them. i only own this fanfiction. however some events belong to Kishimoto because they are from his Naruto storyline.

warnings: sexual content, out of character behaviour, language (mostly Hidan but i bet you sore that coming), yaoi (malexmale love), character depression

Parnings: KisaIta, SasoDei, KisaDei, KazuHida (Kakuzu and Hidan) and traces of other parnings later, but i'll tell you that when the time comes :P hope you like it!

Dear diary,

This may be pathetic of me writing down my thoughts like a whining brat wishing my depression, would be erased by my pens flow of black ink, as my confusing storm clouds of emotions leak out onto the plain white canvas of lined paper. Yet I've slowly began to realize that I've fallen into a black abyss that there is no escape, no light, no air, I feel like I'm suffocating in darkness. Alone.

At first I thought I was just feeling a bit under the weather, a bit uneasy. But now I've truly become weakened. I haven't been in a fight, or on a mission, so I have no injuries; however my heart is bleeding with each beat, in my aching chest. I've lost all reason to eat and sleep? I haven't slept since my dreams became nightmares. I can't believe that I'm hurting this much over a simple thing. And yet the cause of all this suffering? The cause of this is... love... yes love! My feelings, my desires will always be an agonizing dose of unrequited feelings of love. The person who has stolen my heart, and cut it with cupid's arrow, the holder of my emotions is...

My pen fell down the half written on page, leaving a thin black line down the paper, as my attention was lifted away from the isolation my writing lead me into. "Hiya Kisa!" Deidara shouted with glee and happiness down my ear. "Hi Dei" I answered in a quiet monotone. "Kisa, have you seen Itachi today? The leader wants to talk to him about a mission for tomorrow" he asked when sitting down next to me. "Hey Kisa, what you writing?" Deidara questioned, with a complete curious look lite across his half covered face. "I...I haven't seen Itachi today, now if you'll excuse me, I want to be left alone" my pen fell to the floor as I stood slowly up. "Kisa, I'm sorry" the loud blonde's voice was at lot quieter and sounded like I upset him. "Sorry Dei, I'm just not in the mood, to be around people at the moment" with that I closed my book and left Deidara on his own.

The air was ice cold in my empty room, yet, somehow it felt comforting. Looking down at my unused bed, I dropped the symbol of the Akatsuki, my coat, on the floor and crawled under my sheets. The sound of someone returning home could be heard from under the cold cloth. however I didn't care who it was, as long as they left me alone, yet listening through the darkness Itachi's voice sounded out in my ears, not knowing what he was saying, but it didn't matter, as long as I heard his voice. All went silent quickly and my stomach now made me feel sick, as a tear fell from my blurred eyes. For it was Itachi who stole my heart and I suffer with the pain of loving him, all knowing that he'll never be mine. A sob escaped my throat as I thought of his pale skinned face, which is framed by his beautiful black hair. I bit back another sob as his angel like voice echoed in my ears. Grasping the soft cloth under me, I continued to sob until my tiredness toke over and I fell into more darkness, but this time the darkness of sleep.

I dreamt of Itachi again, I dreamt he was asleep next to me in a field of black roses, under the pale light of the white moon with a sky full of stars. But Itachi was the most beautiful sight. The light of the moon made his lovely skin look almost like white silk with black laces of hair covering his face a little. Pale pink was the colour of his smooth lips. He looked peaceful. I reached over to touch his silk skin but before I felt his soft looking cheek, the whole world turned white and I was back to reality.

Slowly I opened my eyes and still the cloth felt wet from my sobbing, the ice like fabric pressed against the skin of my face, making my cheek feel damp. I forced my limbs to move but they felt heavy as I pulled myself up, tearing the blanket away from me. The ice cold air hit my warm skin. "I wonder if I'll be any help to Itachi in his mission today?" I quietly questioned myself as the sun started to rise, appearing though my half covered window...

that's it for the first chapter, sorry it's so short i'll try to make the following chapters longer, well chapter 2 is :P please review! Other wise I can't continue! THANKS FOR READING!