Donuts
It was a warm sunny day in Springfield and Homer was sunbathing in his garden. Ned came out of his house and looked at Homer in disgust.
"Howdy Neighbour! Would you mind-"
"No!"
"But you don't understand! My son-"
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!"
Ned sighed, guessing that there was little chance that he would be able to explain that his son didn't want to see Homer naked through the hole in the fence that had been made when Bart had tried to mow the lawn.
He decided that it may be easier to talk to Marge about it and headed along to the window into the Simpson family kitchen.
"Marge! A wonderful day to be peeling potatoes, isn't it?"
"If you say so… Did you want anything?"
"I was just wondering if there would be any chance of Homer covering himself a little… Only my boys-"
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers..." Homer interrupted, charging through the kitchen entirely naked and flopping on the sofa in front of the television.
Ned covered his eyes and walked away from the Simpson household to let his children play in the garden while Homer watched the lottery.
Homer's brain was telling him that he had just been mean to Ned so he said "Quiet, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!" before going back to the lottery and shouting "Doh!" every time he got a number wrong- actually every time a number was called.
Marge then came into the sitting room and said to Homer "That was awfully mean of you, Homie. You really could have put on some pants! It wouldn't have done you any harm at all!"
Homer just shrugged "Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."
"Homer! That's a dreadful thing to say about your neighbour! Has the Bible taught you nothing?"
"Actually it has taught me one thing and nothing else! It's taught me that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such!"
"Homer! That is dreadful!"
"I know! You would have thought God would have taught me more than that wouldn't you?"
Marge sighed, giving up on her husband and walking out of the house. She went to see Ned and apologize for her husband's attitude when Homer fell through the window.
"Homer what are you doing now?" Marge asked, half glaring at him, half looking concerned that he may have hurt himself on the glass of the window.
"Blame the guy who doesn't speak English!" Homer cried, getting up from the now shattered window and picks up a mouldy donut out of the flower bed. "Mmmm donuts…"
"Homer! That is disgusting!" Marge said, trying to take the donut away from him but failing miserably. "And breaking that window was just not necessary!"
Homer put the half eaten donut into the gap in the window and used it to stick the glass back together, "Donuts! Is there anything they can't do?"
"They won't keep you healthy," Ned said, wondering why Homer was such a pig.
"Donuts have purple in the middle. Purple is a fruit!" Homer announced before heading back inside.
Marge and Ned just looked at each other and shook their heads in disbelief. It wasn't long before Homer was back at the window licking the glass for any essence of donut he might find.