Lorn

by Hotaru-hime

Part 2 of Gaara Arc, sequel to Cycle. Gaara POV. Temari is about to give birth to her first child, and Gaara is left with a turmoil of emotions. But, does he have to face it alone?

The series Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Here is part 2 of Gaara's saga, taking place about a year after 'Cycle'.

Lorn

I stared down at the letter in my hands, unsure of how I should feel. Over and over again I read same, simple sentence.

"Kankuro."

"What is it?" Kankuro was in the seat across from my desk, going through some paperwork.

"Did you know that Temari's pregnant?"

"WHAT?!?!" With an abrupt 'snap' the paperwork flew skyward and floated across the room. "P-Pregnant?! As in having a baby pregnant?!?!"

"…Yes."

"W-What the—" Kankuro grabbed the letter from me to see himself.

"It's at the bottom," I told him.

"—'pain in the ass. Since my baby is due soon I was hoping he would wise up'. Yeah, there it is!!!" he smacked the letter with the back of his hand. "Can you believe this?! I mean, I don't read too many of her letters but this is the first I've heard of this!!!"

"Me, too." I reached into my desk and withdrew Temari's previous letter, which was postmarked a month ago. I did enjoy getting letters from her, but most of them were full of complaints about Shikamaru. What I'd managed to glean from scarce sentences and from Naruto himself was that she was still warmly welcomed by Konoha, and many Genin looked up to her as a role model.

But this was definitely the first I'd heard of a pregnancy. Or, at least I think it was. Since she spent three pages of her letters complaining about Shikamaru, I tended to skim the letters a little bit. I reread last month's letter carefully, ignoring her complaints and trying to find any clues about her supposed pregnancy. I mean, it was her first baby. She would've mentioned it before, wouldn't she?

But…no. I read all five pages multiple times, but I found nothing written about her pregnancy. I put the letter back in the envelope and pulled out a letter from two months ago. This one was nearly ten pages, but I dealt with it and read it carefully. But still…nothing. No mention of a pregnancy at all.

"Summon Baki," I said, tucking the letter away again.

"Right away." Kankuro ran out the door. He was barely gone five minutes before he reappeared in the room, Baki at his side.

"You called for me, Kazekage-sama?" greeted my former sensei.

I held up Temari's most recent letter. "Baki, did you know Temari was pregnant?"

Baki nodded easily enough. "Yes, of course I did."

"And you DIDN'T TELL US?!?!" roared Kankuro.

Baki started and looked at him, and then me. "Wait, w-what? You didn't know?"

"She made an offhanded comment about it in her new letter," I said. "Otherwise, no, she didn't tell us."

Baki looked flustered now, which I wasn't use to seeing in him. "I-I'm sorry, Kazekage-sama. I just assumed you knew—"

"There's no harm done."

"No harm done?!" cried Kankuro. "Our older sister is having a baby and she didn't tell us!!!!"

"She probably forgot to. She probably told Baki thinking she'd already told us." I looked back at Baki. "Do you know how far along she is? She mentions she's almost ready."

Baki had to think about this for a long minute. "Y-Yes, she told me three months ago. By then she had to be four or five months pregnant."

"Four or five months?!?!" Kankuro punched the wall in frustration. "Then she's got to be over eight months along now!!! What kind of vague comment is "soon", anyways?!"

I sighed quietly, and neatly folded her letter. "Like I said, she probably forgot she didn't tell us." I looked up again. "But I want to go see her. We probably won't be there for the birth of her child, but I want to visit her and see how she's doing."

Kankuro was grumbling heatedly under his breath. "Six months…just saw her six months ago…couldn't tell us then, could she?!"

"You'll be coming too, won't you Kankuro?" I asked him.

He nodded quickly and stopped mumbling. "If she's having my niece and nephew, then you better believe I'm going to be there!!!"

"…We probably won't be there that long—" I said.

"Nuh uh!!! She won't weasel out of this!!! I'm seeing her baby if I have to stand in the room and watch!!!"

"Good luck with that," muttered Baki.

I stood up from the desk and Kankuro and Baki immediately snapped to attention. "Call the council for a meeting. I'll let them know of our plans."

---

The council was surprisingly excited about Temari's pregnancy, even as they emphasized that this would be the first grandchild of the Yondaime Kazekage. It was difficult for me not to roll my eyes. They seemed pleased that I would be traveling to see Temari, most likely because they would probably relish in ruling here in my absence.

Still, there was no escaping a few things.

"You'll need bodyguards," one councilman told me. "Not too many as to draw attention to yourself, but they'll be needed."

"I'll be there," said Kankuro, folding his arms over his chest. "I'll make sure nothing happens to him."

"That's not enough," said another. "Just having one bodyguard isn't enough. You should take at least three, Kazekage-sama."

"…I really don't need bodyguards," I said slowly. "And I would rather not pull ninja away from their duties of protecting Sunagakure to be my security."

"We must insist," said the first. "As we don't want a repeat of the Akatsuki's kidnapping."

"That happened within Sunagakure's walls," pointed out Kankuro. "Besides, the Akatsuki is long gone."

"That doesn't mean there aren't any threats out there."

"Gaara's the strongest ninja in this region!!! He doesn't need bodyguards!!!"

"We believe he does, and I can guarantee all of Sunagakure will agree with us."

"All right," I cut in before Kankuro could speak. "I'll take three or four extra bodyguards with me. No more than that because I'll draw attention to myself. Kankuro and I will draw up a list of candidates and we'll see if their schedules are loose enough to accompany us."

Kankuro was still grumbling over how unnecessary this all was all the way back to my office. I said nothing, going to the filing cabinet and pulling out files on Sunagakure's Jonin and Chuunin.

"This is just more work for us!!!" Kankuro complained, shifting through the many, many ninja files. "We could've left by now if it weren't for the council!!!"

"They want to make sure I have the best security," I said. I skimmed the files and either put them in a 'yes' pile or a 'no' pile. My 'no' pile was much higher than the other. "Because the Yondaime was murdered under our noses, they feel they can't be too careful."

"The Yondaime was an asshole." He neglected to add that this 'asshole' was also our father. "And they won't shut up about him!!!"

"Because I was his weapon." I spoke the words calmly, but I saw Kankuro flinch slightly. I felt a twinge of warmth at this and smiled slightly. "But that's over and done with. I no longer carry Shukaku, and he's…well, dead."

Kankuro shifted through more files and handed one to me. "This looks good."

I skimmed the file. It was a Jonin-level ninja with a good record. "All right." I put his on the 'yes' pile and looked at the next one.

It was Matsuri.

I was surprised by the tension that whipped through me, and my fingers curled unexpectedly around the profiles. She wore a rather somber expression for her Chuunin photo, although her statistics were very impressive. 13 D missions, 7 C missions, 3 B missions, 1 A mission. She passed all of them.

I…didn't really know what to make of her. I've seen very little of her since Temari's wedding, as we were both very busy with our own separate work schedules. The few times I'd seen her were in passing, and she would smile at me and greeted me as 'Kazekage-sama' politely. Everyone greeted me this way, though. So then why did I feel so differently by her kindness?

Sighing to myself, I put her file on the 'yes' pile, not really thinking about it.

Unfortunately, not a lot escapes Kankuro. The minute I let go of her file he snatched it up to look at it. His look turned dark and he looked at me as though he were annoyed. Confused, I tried to address him as calmly as possible. "What's wrong?"

He waved Matsuri's file in my face. "Why is SHE on your 'yes' pile?!?!"

"She's a very skilled ninja," I said easily enough. "I helped train her after all, so I have confidence in her skill lev—"

"Gaara!!!" Kankuro slapped the file back on my desk. "Don't bullshit your older brother!!!"

I blinked once. And then twice. "I don't know what—"

"You aren't looking to have her come with us based on her skill level!!! You just want her there!!! Awwww!!!!" He fell back into his chair and slapped a hand over his eyes. "Man, what have I told you about this?!?!"

"About what?" I asked, not bothering to hide the irritation from my voice.

"Don't fall for any of your little admirers!!! It only creates more problems for you!!! She only likes you because you're Kazekage!!!"

I felt anger starting to bubble up to the surface. Without Shukaku inside me I could control my emotions a lot better. Still, I knew it was best to maintain control. "Kankuro, don't insult me. I know how I feel, and you don't—"

"You like her!!!" he jabbed his index finger over Matsuri's photograph. "You've liked her since Temari's wedding!!! But man, you don't fall for your fangirls!!!! Uchiha Sasuke should've taught you a lesson in this!!!"

My fists clenched on the desk. "Uchiha Sasuke committed rape, so I would rather you not compare my situation to his."

"All right, all right." Kankuro waved a hand, but still narrowed his eyes at me. "But we don't need to take Matsuri with us!!! There's better ninja here than her!!!"

"We're taking her," I said sharply. "And we're doing it because I said so."

"Oh, C'MON!!!!"

"You choose the other ninja, but she's coming too." I took hold of her file again and started a new pile. I grabbed the 'yes' pile and shoved it at Kankuro. "Here, have fun."

Kankuro groaned, but shifted through the files. "God, you can be so evil sometimes Gaara."

"Next time, don't put words in my mouth." I didn't like what he'd been saying, and I didn't like how he spoke about her. I didn't quite know what to do with the idea that she only liked me for my Kazekage status, but I didn't think about it. It just left me with more questions I didn't understand.

---

The council seemed content with the bodyguards we chose for ourselves and we got ready to depart. Kankuro chose two very skilled Jonin to come with us, all the while giving Matsuri not-so subtle dirty looks.

Matsuri for her part seemed absolutely delighted to be coming with us, and didn't even seem to notice Kankuro's attitude towards her. Her circle of friends seemed angry at her though because she was chosen, but it didn't look like it bothered her.

We all packed lightly, because we didn't imagine a very long stay in Konoha. I had a feeling it would come to pass otherwise, but I also knew Naruto would accommodate us accordingly. Sunagakure tried not to make a big show out of our leaving, as to not give away the fact that the Kazekage would be out of the village, but everyone was excited that Temari was giving birth to her first child. There was quite a bit of fanfare, complete with streamers and confetti as we started out of the village. An overeager child even threw confetti right in my face, much to the panic and mortification of his mother.

"I'm so sorry, Kazekage-sama!!!" she cried, clutching her child to her.

Her protectiveness towards him didn't go unnoticed by me. "No harm done," I said calmly, plucking a piece of white confetti out of my hair. I was their Kazekage and they all looked up to me greatly, but perhaps there was no escaping the stigma that I was still a very dangerous man.

We made great progress through the Land of Wind to the Land of Fire, though I knew it would take us several days to reach Konoha. Little was said between the five of us, but my eyes kept drifting back towards Matsuri. In the wake of this mission a lot of her jubilation had faded to dead seriousness, and she seemed focused on the task at hand. I was surprised by the surge of pride that swelled in me at this. Why should I be proud that she was acting like a ninja? I should expect this sort of behavior from her.

"Don't fall for any of your little admirers!!! It only creates more problems for you!!!"

Maybe all of us were expecting her to fall all over herself at the prospect of protecting me. Kankuro was eyeing her, as if expecting her to do such a thing, but she wasn't.

We only made camp when night had completely fallen, and we were on the outskirts of the border between Wind and Fire. I erected a sand barrier over us, although I thinned it out as to not draw too much attention.

"I'll take the first watch," announced Matsuri, brushing out her pants.

Kankuro openly rolled his eyes. "We have a barrier over us; we don't need to take watch."

Matsuri looked at a loss for words, and even a little embarrassed. The other ninja thankfully said nothing, but for some reason I became quickly irritated. At Kankuro.

"I think it's necessary to keep watch," I said, giving Kankuro a cold look. "Go ahead, Matsuri. Watch will last two hours for each person."

Her face lit up and she bowed to me. "Thank you, Gaara-sama!" she hurried off to set up her watch.

Kankuro was looking at me darkly as the other two ninja started up a fire. He waved me over to a small distance away from the group as to provide us some privacy. "Why are you pandering to her?" he demanded.

This time I glared at him. "I'm pandering to no one, Kankuro. She takes her job as a ninja seriously and she wants to keep watch. That's protocol for a ninja, especially one guarding the Kazekage."

"She's only doing this to impress you," he pointed out. "She's showing off, that's all."

"Kankuro." I took a step closer to him. He didn't flinch as he use to, but he looked surprised. "Stop insulting her. I'm not going to tolerate it. And don't embarrass her like that again in front of other ninja. Think of how that looks for her to be dressed down by you like that over nothing."

He was silent for a long moment. Then he shrugged. "You don't have to feel so strongly about it…"

I turned to walk away, but I heard him mutter, "Stupid" under his breath. I let it slide.

Kankuro was probably surprised by my anger. I knew I was surprised about it. I said nothing to the other two ninja and walked over to Matsuri. She'd settled herself a short distance from the camp, armed and ready. Her back was to me, but I was both surprised and pleased to see her jump up and spin around when I was less than ten feet away. "Oh! Gaara-sama!!"

"I wanted to apologize for Kankuro's behavior," I said. For some reason, my footsteps started to slow down. "His attitude is inappropriate."

But Matsuri shook her head. "I'm not as qualified as the other ninja here, and he's right in a sense. You've erected a nice barrier, Gaara-sama, and so keeping watch isn't really necessary."

"If it wasn't necessary, then I wouldn't have agreed with you."

"Y-Yes, of course." Matsuri smiled a little and turned away from me. "I'm just proud of the work I do."

"That's always good to hear. Being a ninja isn't something you should be ashamed of."

"I feel like a stronger person, too." Her voice had dipped suddenly, and the smile faded from her face. "True strength is in protecting those precious to you. That's what Uzumaki Naruto taught me, and that's the philosophy I try to live by. It gives me pride to fight for our village…and to fight for you, Gaara-sama," she added.

"Fight first and foremost for yourself," I said, though I moved to stand beside her. "Not for personal gain or for bloodshed, but in your innermost strength and resolve."

"I will," she said. "I don't want to become a being of death, or to kill wantonly like…" she trailed off suddenly and looked at the ground.

"Like me?" I asked. A cold feeling started forming inside of me. Matsuri had never seen me as a monster, always as a mentor. At least I thought she didn't. Just thinking that she might…

"No," she quickly corrected me, looking at me. "I didn't mean that, Gaara-sama. I was referring to the men who killed my parents."

"…Oh." The feeling faded, and guilt grew in its place. Maybe I was letting Kankuro's words get to me too much. I couldn't deny that so many of the people who admire me and devote their lives to me feared and hated me for most of my life. "I apologize, then."

"Don't be sorry, I'm not angry." She shrugged her shoulders. "You said it before, didn't you? This was how you use to live."

"I have committed countless sins I can hardly atone for, and yet here I am celebrating at my sister's wedding. I hold the highest position of power in our village and many people. Do I deserve any of this? Do I deserve to be where I am now, when I have to consider everything that I've done in my life?"

"This is how everyone use to see you," she continued. "I didn't pay very much attention to this because I was too wrapped up in my own misery. But I don't look at the person you were. I look at who you are now: Gaara, Godaime Kazekage of Sunagakure, traveling not on a business venture, but to see his pregnant sister. If you really are a monster…if you were all those things you said you were, would you even care that Temari-sama was pregnant?"

I said nothing to answer her question, but it gave me…hope. Hope that I was on the right path in my life, and I could atone for all of my sins.

And…there was another hope. I could look at her, and see how she saw me in her expression. Awe was there, but she wasn't starry-eyed as Kankuro kept insisting that she was. She liked me. And I…

"Thank you," I said, cutting away that thought. I turned back towards camp. "We should be all right, but keep a close eye out. Everyone must know by now that I have left Sunagakure and am traveling the countryside."

Matsuri smiled once more. "Understood. But Kankuro-sama had a point. With the barrier over us, the risk of attack is minimal."

---

The assassins struck just before sunrise.

I felt the disturbance in the sand barrier and was awake before everyone else. I looked above us to see many of the ninja ensnared by the sand, being wrapped up like caterpillars in a cocoon. There were nine would-be assassins, but most of them were caught by the barrier.

Three of them managed to slip through. Kankuro had taken the final watch and snagged one of the ninja with Kuroari. Matsuri and the two Sunagakure ninja leapt into action and subdued the remaining two.

It all only lasted five minutes. Kankuro disposed of the ninja he captured, and the other six suffocated under the hold of my sand. That only left the two ninja that were captured.

"Who sent you?!?!" yelled Kankuro, punching one in the face. "What organization or village are you associated with?!?!"

They weren't wearing headbands, and I didn't get to see enough of their skill level to even hazard a guess as to where they came from. But neither of them were talking, though they looked positively terrified to see me.

I wanted to press for more answers, but I felt somehow that we were short on time. I wanted to get to Temari as quickly as possible. That wouldn't happen if we started torturing these guys for information right here.

"We need to keep moving," I announced, interrupting the interrogations going on. I motioned the two ninja forward. "Escort these rogues back to Sunagakure and press them for any information they might have. If I'm not back in time, allow the council to deal with them."

"Are we still going?" asked Kankuro.

"Of course," I said. I looked at him and Matsuri. "The three of us will continue on."

Kankuro scoffed very openly, but Matsuri looked pleased. To officiate this matter, I quickly wrote up the instructions on a scroll and stamped it with the Kazekage seal. "Present this with your report."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama." In a flash the other two ninja were gone, the would-be assassins with them.

I calmly brushed myself off as my sand quickly disposed of the bodies before retreating back into my gourd. "Well, we should get moving then, before more of them show up."

Kankuro obviously wasn't pleased I chose for Matsuri to stay with us instead of returning to the village with the others, but he thankfully didn't complain anymore. Matsuri for her part looked very pleased to be with us, and so I tried to focus on that.

We moved a lot quicker this day to get to Konohagakure, not wanting to risk another attack, even though I knew we could deflect it easily. Thankfully, we didn't have very more ground to cover as we left the Land of Wind and entered the Land of Fire. I always liked the greenery of this land and its moderate temperatures, although it did little but have rain and sunshine. But Sunagakure was a desert land and we had almost no rain.

After traveling nonstop all day, only making short stops for breaks, we reached the gates of Konohagakure before dusk. We checked in quickly with the gate guards, who unfortunately made a lot of fuss out of our arrival. We'd sent forward notice we would be coming, but they were treating me like I was a celebrity.

Strange.

They'd told me Naruto wanted to see me, and in truth I wanted to see him. But my main focus was on seeing Temari. Naruto didn't mind this, though he kept asking me to come to his house and see Hinata and Saru.

"Oh, I don't mind!!!" he laughed, slapping me on my back. He'd rushed down to the gate as quickly as possible once word had spread. "Yep, ol'Temari is preggers!!! Go over and see her, she should be at Shikamaru's house!!!"

"Since they're supposed to be married, I hope she's at Shikamaru's house," grumbled Kankuro.

We headed over to the Nara house quickly, as a large crowd had started to form at the gate. Everyone was gawking at us. It reminded me of how Kankuro described my 'admirers' and how he'd grouped Matsuri into this category. Yet she didn't act this way around me.

Knowing this though was a great relief.

---

"You guys came to see me!!!!"

I thought not a whole lot could shock me anymore. I was shocked when I won my candidacy for Kazekage. I was shocked to have died and come back to life to see my village crying hysterically in relief of my revival. I was even shocked when Temari declared that she was going to get married.

But this…

"Good GOD!!!" yelled Kankuro, pushing his way into the Nara household. He was gaping in shock at Temari. "You're ready to pop!!!"

Temari growled and smacked him. "Don't talk about me like that!!!"

I said nothing to this, but I agreed with Kankuro. Temari wasn't as skinny as other female ninja in our village, but she wasn't exactly fat. But now…now she was big. Her stomach was massive, pressing out on all sides of her, even though she was dressed in a slate gray robe. Her entire body structure had changed to accommodate this baby, but what a baby!!! How big was he supposed to be?!

"Hello, Temari-sama!!" Matsuri rushed forward and bowed. "You look wonderful!! How far along are you?"

Temari for her part looked visibly shocked to see Matsuri with us. She looked between Kankuro and me suspiciously before she answered. "I'm just about eight months pregnant, Matsuri."

"EIGHT MONTHS?!?!" yelled Kankuro. He was rubbing at his bruised cheek. "That baby'll come out any time now!!! Oh, and by the way, thanks for NOT telling us!!!!"

Temari flinched slightly, though her expression was carefully blank. "What?"

"You've never mentioned your pregnancy in your letters," I added. "We only found out in your recent letter, in a throwaway sentence."

Now Temari looked really uncomfortable, and she shifted her eyes. "I…could've sworn I told you both."

"I guess you were right then, Gaara," said Kankuro. "She just forgot because she told other people."

"But you both are here now," she cut in quickly. "So that's what counts."

"Shikamaru!!!" Suddenly, Shikamaru's mother Yoshino hurried around the corner. "Who's at the do—TEMARI!!!"

Temari groaned and rubbed at her forehead. "What is it?"

"Why are you standing up?!?!" Yoshino walked over to us. "You—" she suddenly caught sight of me and her face went white. "G-G-Gaara, Kazekage!!!"

"I'm sorry for intruding," I said. "But we decided to visit once we learned of Temari's pregnancy."

Yoshino quickly shook her head, though now her face was red. "N-No!!! It's never an intrusion!!! Please come in!!! And you." Yoshino grabbed Temari's arm. "Sit down this instant!!! You're supposed to be on bed rest!!!"

I froze. Bed rest? When she still had a month before she gave birth?! "Is everything all right?" I asked.

"Yes," said Temari, her voice full of exasperation. "My Konoha doctor is overreacting. But come on in everyone!!"

"Yes, come in!!!" Yoshino invited us. She then proceeded to drag Temari down the hall and away from us. Temari threw us a look that showed she was use to this treatment, but found it annoying. All three of us followed, unsure of what else to do.

Yoshino led us through the back porch, which opened to the Nara forest. "Shikaku!!! Shikamaru!!! You two had better not be playing Shogi while making a pregnant woman answer doors!!!"

Temari groaned, and I felt a slight twinge of embarrassment for her.

Yoshino slammed open one of the shoji doors to reveal a sitting room. And sure enough, Shikaku and Shikamaru were playing Shogi.

"Look at the two of you," fumed Yoshino. It looked like Shikaku and Shikamaru were bracing themselves. "Sitting around like a bunch of lazy bums while the Kazekage visits!!!! This place is a pigsty and you two don't care!!!"

Actually, the house looked pretty clean to me.

Shikamaru craned his head lazily to look at us. "Hey."

"Hey?!?!" shouted Yoshino. "You don't talk to a political figure like that!!!!"

"He's my brother-in-law, ain't he?" Shikamaru stood up and brushed off his pants. He stilled when he saw Temari. "Huh? Did the doctor give you the okay?"

"He—" began Temari.

"She's still on bed rest!!!" fumed Yoshino. "I shouldn't have to babysit your wife, Shikamaru!!!"

"Nobody's babysitting me!!!" snapped Temari, pulling her arm free.

But Shikamaru grabbed her arm and pulled her into the room. "Don't be a pain. Just sit down and stay down."

Temari muttered unsavorily under her breath, but didn't fight him as he led her to a very cushioned reclining chair and helped her sit down.

Kankuro snorted beside me, and Matsuri was smiling. The whole situation did seem to be funny, even as Shikaku occupied himself with his tea.

"Now then!!!" said Yoshino, clapping her hands together. "Since the Kazekage is staying with us, I will make a feast fit for a king!!!" Smiling very brightly, she turned towards me. "I'll make anything you want, Gaara-sama!!! What's your favorite dish?"

"Salted tongue and fried gizzards," I answered bluntly.

The bright smile remained, but the color drained completely from Yoshino's face and her brow twitched very visibly.

I coughed indiscreetly. "But I'll be fine with tonkatsu."

"Perfect!!" the color returned and she clapped her hands happily. "I'll go to work on that right away!! Ah…" she looked all around the room at the ninja staring blankly at her. She suddenly pointed at Matsuri. "You!!! I'll need your help in the kitchen!!!"

Matsuri gaped at her. "What?"

"You'll be cooking with me tonight!!!"

"I…don't cook," said Matsuri.

"What do you mean you don't cook?!?! Didn't your mother teach you anything?!?!"

Matsuri flinched. "Actually, my mom—"

"Oh, never mind!! I'll teach you!!!" she grabbed Matsuri's arm and gave it a tug. "Come on, I'm making dinner preparations now!!!"

"But I…" Matsuri forced a smile. "Forgive me, but I've been traveling all day—"

"You're a ninja; it's your job. Besides, what will happen when you get married and you can't even make miso soup for your husband?!?!"

"W-What?! Marriage?!" Matsuri blushed and quickly looked at me. I don't know how I was looking at her, but she became more flustered. "I…I—"

"Now come on, let's not delay!!! Everyone's hungry!!!"

We all stood in silence as Yoshino dragged Matsuri from the room, Matsuri raining protests all the way down the hall. Then…silence.

"…I apologize for that," said Shikaku. "My wife has the run of this place with an iron fist."

Temari snorted at this and settled more comfortably in her chair.

"So, what brings you guys here?" asked Shikamaru.

"We only just heard of Temari's pregnancy and we wanted to see her," I said. "But is everything all right?"

"We—" began Shikamaru.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine," cut in Temari, waving a hand. "There's nothing to worry about, and I'm sorry I forgot to tell you about this."

"Why is she on bed rest?" Kankuro asked Shikamaru.

"I told you I was fine!!"

"I was asking your husband, not you!!"

Shikamaru looked at Temari, who gave him a look. He let out a long, annoyed sigh. "It's stress related, is all. Our child is fine though, if that's what you're worried about."

I realized I'd been holding my breath and I let it out slowly. Stress. Well, it was her first child. Who wouldn't be stress about this?

"So, have you two settled on a name?" asked Kankuro, taking a seat.

"I'm naming the baby if it's a girl, and he's naming it if it's a boy," said Temari.

Shikamaru scoffed. "She only says this because we both know it's a girl!!!"

"A girl?" I asked, a little taken off-guard by the awe in my voice. "You're having a girl?"

"They don't know yet," Shikaku supplied for us, continuing to play the Shogi game without Shikamaru. "But they think it's a girl."

"Either way, we're going to be uncles," said Kankuro, putting his hands behind his head. "Too bad we can't be here for the birth."

"I'm glad you two visited," said Temari, smiling sincerely at us. "Did you have any problems on the way here?"

I told her about the would-be assassins. She flinched, but didn't look surprised we subdued them with ease.

Then…she asked a simple question. "So, why is Matsuri with you two? Not that I don't appreciate her company, but this seems a little too personal for her to be a part of."

For some reason, now I felt embarrassed. "She—"

"Gaara has a thing for her," Kankuro cut in. "He's showing favoritism towards her, and it's getting annoying!!!"

"How is signing her up as one of my bodyguards showing favoritism?!" I snapped.

Temari didn't even seem to hear me. "Gaara has a thing for…" she suddenly burst out into hysterical laughter, adding more to my embarrassment. Shikamaru looked at her briefly and groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Temari, I'm serious!!" snapped Kankuro.

Temari only laughed harder. "Come ON, Kankuro!!! Matsuri is a child!!! There's no way Gaara would be interested in her!!!"

"Wait, she's got to be at least twenty!!!" said Shikamaru. "How is that a child?!"

"But Gaara knew her when she was a child!!!"

"Now you're making Gaara sound like an old man!!!" laughed Kankuro.

"What does that make you as his older brother?" asked Shikamaru. Kankuro immediately stopped laughing.

"Everyone just be quiet!!" I snapped. "I didn't come here to have my intentions be dissected!!!"

There was once a time that my booming voice would freeze Kankuro and Temari in their tracks. But now the two of them couldn't stop laughing at me.

"Sorry, man," said Shikamaru, patting me on the shoulder. "People like this can be a real drag."

"I'm sorry." Temari wiped at her eyes. "I'm not making fun of you, Gaara. It's just that…Matsuri? Do you really like her?"

The sand shifted in my gourd as I felt a profound urge to perform a Sand Coffin. Instead I folded my arms over my chest and closed my eyes and tried to mediate.

'Try' being the key word here.

"—one of his fangirls!!!" whined Kankuro. "You'd think he'd have more sense than that!!!"

"Fangirls can be shallow," said Temari. "But Matsuri isn't like that."

"Shallow fangirls?" asked Shikamaru. "As I recall, you were a fangirl of Sasuke, weren't you?!"

Temari blew him a mock-kiss. "Jealous? But he…"

She suddenly trailed off and sucked in a short breath, as though she was in pain, and she pressed a hand over her stomach. Immediately all of us were on alert and Shikamaru rushed to her side. "What's wrong?!" The note of panic in his voice didn't go unnoticed by me, and that added to my worries.

Temari narrowed her eyes at him. "Nothing, you worry-wart. Our daughter just kicked me, that's all."

"Are these pains common?" I asked.

Temari groaned again. "I said there was nothing wrong with me!!! Can't any of you take me seriously?!"

She was in pain; I could sense it. Why was she denying it, then?

Yoshino suddenly burst into the room. "Dinner is served!!! Matsuri did all right for having no cooking skills!!!"

Matsuri did cook all right, although the tonkatsu looked like it'd been put into a meat grinder after it was deep-fried. I ate the food without complaint, because I knew she'd really tried to cook for us.

And eating gave me something else to think about. Temari was now starting to worry me. I knew nothing about pregnancies, so I didn't know if pain accompanied it. But the way Shikamaru and Shikaku had reacted told me it wasn't supposed to be common.

And…it told me that her pain was common.

Why did she keep this from us? I could dismiss it as being something she honestly forgot, but knowing of her bed rest and today's pain…something wasn't right. Did all of this correlate to why she only mentioned it to us by accident?

Though…thinking about all of this made me nauseas. I was my mother's last child, and I killed her during birth. I knew that was not how babies were naturally born, but thinking in such a way only added to my imagination. I went to bed having nightmares about her birth. I'd never willfully gone to sleep in my life, knowing that Shukaku would arise when I was not in control. But I was without Shukaku, as I'd been without him for the past five years. I could sleep now, and dream, but my dreams were awful.

And tonight was no different. By the third nightmare I had about Temari's baby I knew I shouldn't go back to sleep for a while. I tried to reoccupy my thoughts with something else, but then my mind would drift to Matsuri, as it was often doing. I could imagine her in her guest room, curled up in a futon and deep asleep. I closed my eyes, and ended the image.

Temari and Kankuro accused me of holding affection for me, but I…affection was not something I could just hand out. Nobody had ever given me true affection in my life, so what blueprint could I follow? I admit that I liked her company, and I like to hear her talk. I thought she was very pretty and it upset me that others, like Kankuro, made fun of her.

Was this…affection then?

I sighed and closed my eyes. None of this made sense. Temari complained about Shikamaru all the time, but married him and carried his child. Uchiha Sasuke violated Haruno Sakura and got her pregnant, but she married him and now they had two children. Naruto was loud, brash, and thought little of his actions while Hyuuga Hinata was calm, quiet, and reserved and yet they got married and had Saru.

Ai. This was all related to love. But none of this had to do with this…conflict I was feeling for Matsuri. Didn't it?

No. I couldn't afford to think about this. I shook my head and lay back down. I didn't know how long we could stay, but we would miss Temari's birth. Before I left though, I wanted to make sure my sister was absolutely comfortable and relaxed so she wouldn't be in pain or on bed rest anymore.

---

Temari was still in pain the next morning. I could sense it easily, but she acted as though nothing were wrong. I found her in a room opening to the forest, talking with Kankuro. Her hair was down, and she was still in her sleeping clothes. Kankuro looked outwardly calm, but I could tell by his demeanor that he could sense her pain too…and it worried him.

"Where's Shikamaru?" I asked her.

"His dad and him had to go into the forest," said Temari. "The deer are acting up, I guess, and they wanted to see if an intruder had entered the forest."

"…I see." I looked at her closely. She was sitting down facing a table, but it looked like she was bracing herself against it. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Don't worry about it. You're a guest here, and…well, you have responsibilities at Sunagakure." Her voice had started to strain. Kankuro looked at me over her head with alarm.

"I-I'll get you something to drink," I stammered, hurrying from the room. Fear was starting to grow again. She was in pain, but disguising it. What was going on?

I went into the kitchen to see Yoshino trying to get Matsuri enthusiastic about cooking. Matsuri looked haggard, but she brightened up when she saw me.

"Ah, Kazekage-sama!!" cried Yoshino before Matsuri could say anything. She hurried over to me. "How can I help you?"

"I was looking to get some tea for Temari," I said.

But Yoshino shook her head at me. "She should avoid tea at this stage in her pregnancy. Here." She poured a glass of milk and popped it into the microwave. "Let's give her some warm milk and cinnamon."

"…All right." I didn't know anything about pregnancies, so I would take her word for it. She heated the milk for only a couple of seconds and then sprinkled some ground cinnamon into it. "Thank you," I said when she handed me the cup and saucer.

"Don't mention it," she said. Her face was glowing as she smiled. "This is my very first grandchild…I'm so excited about it!!!"

"Hmm." I glanced once more at Matsuri, who was quickly stirring a pot of boiling miso soup. I went back to Temari, hoping that some of her discomfort had alleviated already.

I nearly dropped the cup when I reentered the room. Temari was partially standing, and Kankuro was trying to get her to sit back down. Her pain wasn't any lesser; she seemed to be in greater pain now, in fact.

"Just stop this and sit down!!" snapped Kankuro, sounding more worried than annoyed.

"I'm fine!!" said Temari, though she didn't sound fine.

"Temari," I said, walking into the room. "Please sit down and relax a little. Here, drink this."

Temari looked at me. I could see pain in her eyes, but she forced a smile. "Thank you, Gaara." She didn't sit back down, but she took the cup from me. "I wish you guys wouldn't worry so much. I can take care of myself."

"You're in pain," I pointed out. "And you're supposed to be on bed rest. If you don't settle down I'm going to go look for your husband."

"For God sakes, nothing is wrong!!!" Temari drank her milk irritably. "Sure I'm uncomfortable, but I'm pregnant!!! Carrying around a baby wasn't meant to be easy!! She—AH!!!"

Temari suddenly lurched forward, but I grabbed her and held her upright and steady. Her cup of milk though went flying out of her hands and crashed to the floor.

"Temari!!" cried Kankuro, rushing over to us.

I heard footsteps in the hallway, but I clung to Temari. "What's wrong?!"

Temari took several deep breaths. "I…I don't know. I—uurrrgh!!!" she dug her fingers hard into my forearm, drawing blood. I didn't even notice.

"It's the baby," breathed Kankuro. "A-Are you—you're in labor!!!"

"I have a month!!!" hissed Temari, though she buried her face into my shirt. "I-I can't be—" she didn't scream this time, but the pain seemed so severe that it took her breath away.

"W-What's wrong?!" cried Yoshino, rushing into the room. She looked at Temari and paled. "You're in labor!!!"

"N-No, I'm not!!! I'm too early!!! I-I—" it was getting more and more difficult for Temari to speak. Maybe even breathe. I held onto her, not knowing what to do.

Yoshino looked down at the floor. I realized for the first time that the both of us were standing in a puddle of water. "Temari, your water broke. Please lie down for a few moments!!! I'll go get my husband!!!" she rushed into the open garden and disappeared into the trees.

"Lie down," I said, trying to direct her as such.

But Temari quickly shook her head, gritting her teeth as she forced herself to remain upright. "I'm fine!!! I'm not having my baby!!!"

"She just said you were!!!" snapped Kankuro. "Dammit, just lie down!!!"

Matsuri stammered from where she stood at the doorway. Maybe as trying to figure out what to do, she got a towel and cleaned up the puddle of water beneath us.

"Temari," I said sternly. "You're in labor. Please take this situation seriously, or something might happen to your child." I didn't know what I was talking about, but she was in labor. She was a month early and she was in labor.

But Temari refused to cooperate with me. My shirt suddenly felt wet, and I realized she was crying. It could've been from pain, but I had a feeling this wasn't the case.

"S-She'll be all right," I said, not knowing how I could soothe her. "Your baby will be fine, Temari."

Temari sniffled against me and I looked at Kankuro. But he was just as lost as I was. "…Temari?"

"I'm scared," she whimpered suddenly.

"What? Why?"

Matsuri had cleaned up the water, and ran over to the doorway looking for Shikamaru and his parents.

Temari's hold on me loosened, but her voice remained soft. "I'm scared…I'm so scared…"

"Everything will be fine. Konoha has a good hospital, and the doctors will take care of the both of you."

"…I…Gaara." Her grip went limp. Only I was the thing holding her up. "My baby…there's complications, and I…"

I looked at Kankuro again, but he was looking at Temari.

"…I'm scared. When she was in labor…"

"When who was?" I asked numbly.

"When she was in labor…Mama never came back."

My insides turned cold. So that's what it was. Temari was our oldest sibling, after all. She had to have seen firsthand the trials our mother went through when she was pregnant…right before she died.

Right before I killed her.

"GAARA!!!" shrieked Kankuro.

I didn't realize until it was too late that I dropped Temari. It seemed to happen in slow motion as she slipped from my arms and quickly fell to the floor. It was happening too quickly; I called forth my sand, but not even that seemed quick enough to catch her.

She suddenly froze in mid-air just before she hit the floor. I wrapped my sand around her, but she was pulled forcibly into an upright position. She didn't even seem to realize she had fallen.

"I told you this would happen."

I turned my head. Shikamaru was standing at the doorway, stretching out his arms to us. His shadow was stretched across the floor, and touching Temari. He'd caught her just in time and now she mirrored his movements.

"We don't have time," continued Shikamaru. He hurried into the room, forcing Temari to run towards him. He gave me a hard look, but said nothing about what happened before. "Mom called the hospital. They'll be expecting us."

The rush to the hospital happened in a blur. My mind was numb as we ran. I dropped her. I dropped her…

It didn't seem real to me. But it happened, and I felt horrible about it.

Shikamaru's teammates were there to greet us once we arrived, as was Sakura. I was confused for a moment, but then I remembered that she worked there. They laid Temari out on a stretcher and quickly wheeled her into the birthing unit. We weren't allowed past the double-doors, but the women started throwing on paper coats over their clothes. Matsuri looked lost for a moment, but then took a coat and put it on.

"You guys stay here," Yoshino directed us. "We'll take care of Temari." She disappeared beyond the doors with Ino and Matsuri.

That left the rest of us simply standing around in the lobby in silence. Shikamaru slowly sat down, but his demeanor was anything but calm. He reached into his pocket with a shaking hand and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Ignoring the orderlies' disapproval he lit one up and took a drag.

I sat down next to Kankuro, trying not to take in the environment. The last time I was in here I was trying to kill Rock Lee. I wasn't successful, and the memory didn't sit well with me. And now Temari…my sister was in premature labor. Everyone around me was worried, and that added to my own fears. What if her baby died? Or…what if she died?

"Shit." Shikamaru crunched his pack of cigarettes in his fist. "This whole thing's my fault."

"Hey, take it easy," said Chouji, patting him on the shoulder. "It'll work out. Hey, remember how much I freaked out during both of Ino's labors?"

"She had her kids on time. Temari isn't." he took a short puff on his cigarette. "I could've done something…hell; she wouldn't have let me, but…"

"Doesn't Temari want this baby?" I asked him.

"Of course she does," he snapped at me. "But she scared, okay?! It's her pregnancy, and other…" he cut himself off and shook his head. "No, I'm not saying anything more."

"About what?" asked Kankuro.

"It's her secret."

But I knew. She was afraid, because she lived through Mom's pregnancy and Mom died because of it. How horrible must it have been for her to carry me? To carry the Shukaku monster?

"…I don't remember much," said Kankuro suddenly, his tone quiet and his eyes on his hands in his lap. "That photo of Mom, though…she looked calm, and happy didn't she? I don't have a single happy memory of her, Gaara. I've been looking, sure, but all the ones I have she's crying in them."

Kankuro never talked about Mom much to me, especially since it was such a sore subject. "Was she in pain?"

"I don't know," he said, but it was obviously a lie. "Temari…before she was old enough to know better she told me something. She was sitting with Mom, and by this point Mom was far into her pregnancy with you. And she was just…she was upset and crying and Temari couldn't comfort her. Then…he walked in."

'He' was no doubt our father, but I didn't say this. "I can't remember what she said he said, but he was talking to Mom. And Mom…she just started screaming. She started hitting him—I mean like punching him—calling him a murderer and a monster and telling him how much she hated him. It took three Jonin to restrain her, but he…he didn't fight back, but he didn't say anything to her. He just left her alone, and Temari never saw them together again after that."

Temari had to have been three when that happened, but I knew such a thing had to stick with her. No wonder she was so stressed and so afraid. She was too young to remember Kankuro's birth, but old enough to remember mine…and I killed our mother.

"I shouldn't have said that," Kankuro blurted out. "I shouldn't have been so hard on her. The stress of this must be too much for her, and then I had to go and…" he punched the arm of the chair. "God, I'm such an asshole!!!"

"You've done nothing wrong," I said, but I felt sick on the inside. "Temari's strong. She'll get through this, and so will her child."

Shikamaru was looking at us. He added nothing to what we said, but his face was still pale. He hunched over his knees and buried his face into his hands. Shikaku patted him on the shoulder, though he said nothing.

One hour ticked up in silence, and then another. The first real sign we saw of anybody was near the three-hour mark. Ino came bursting through the double-doors, looking like she was out of breath. "Shikamaru!!!"

Shikamaru snapped to his feet, abandoning his still lit cigarette on the floor. We all tensed with whatever news Ino had to tell us, but it wasn't anything of the sort. "Temari needs you now!!"

Shikamaru didn't need to be told twice. He ran past Ino and down the hall, not bothering with a paper coat. Ino closed the door behind her, and we were left in silence again. We didn't dare ask each other what we thought was going on. All we could was sit.

And wait.

Five more hours past. Daylight dimed across the lobby as dusk settled in. Kankuro kept asking passing orderlies what was going on, but nobody knew anything.

"Ugh, I want to know something!!!" fumed Kankuro in frustration. "I have to know something!!!"

He did several hand signs and I gave him a sideways glance. "What are you doing?"

"This."

Something fell in front of us, startling everyone around us. I looked up and found myself looking into Sasori's blank doll-face.

"Here," said Kankuro. He summoned forth a red-haired wig and threw it on top of Sasori's head. "Go in there and see what's going on!!"

"Uh…Kankuro?" I asked, watching Sasori put on a paper coat. Even with his effeminate features it was too obvious that he was a doll and he was wearing a wig.

"Shh, let's just see how this works," said Kankuro, directing Sasori to walk through the double-doors. "After all the grief that asshole gave us, he owes us this much."

"And what makes you think Temari won't recognize him?"

"Temari's giving birth. She won't notice an extra person."

"Especially a cross-dressing puppet?" Shikaku asked us blandly.

There was a sudden shout from the ward. We all jumped as we heard several thuds from down the hall. Suddenly, the double-doors burst violently open and Sasori flew out, slamming into the floor hard.

Kankuro ran over to check on his puppet. I remained seated where I was. He quickly looked up at me, shock and anger clear on his face. "She broke his arms!!!! SHE BROKE HIS ARMS!!!!"

After that little episode, very little happened. Time passed slowly, and the lack of word on Temari's condition was starting to get to all of us. I couldn't say anything. I sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. I wanted to do something…especially since I'd done nothing to help her up to this point. But what could I do?

Please be all right. I closed my eyes. Please Temari…and your child…please, the both of you be all right…

The double-doors opened once more. We all jumped up and rushed forward.

It was Matsuri. She calmly closed the door behind her, and slowly pulled off her facemask. I wanted to know what was going on!!!

Then…she smiled. And I felt a jolt once more. All within an instant, her face glowed. And I knew…I knew everything would be all right.

"It's a girl," she told us, her tone breathless. "She's tiny, and they have to keep her in an incubator, but she's whole. She's all right. Everyth—"

"I'M A GRANDMOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yoshino suddenly burst through the double-doors with such violent force that all of us screamed and jumped back. She hit Matsuri with the doors, sending her right into the nearest wall. She pulled the facemask and hairnet from her head. "I-I…oh, I thought this day would never come!!! But she's all right and…" she broke down and buried her face into her face. "I never thought it would happen!!!"

Shikaku sighed quietly, but gathered his wife into his arms.

"Come on, let's go see them!!" gushed Matsuri, pushing away from the wall. "She's so beautiful…you won't believe how much she looks like Temari-sama!!!"

Everyone hurried through the doors. I started to follow when I noticed a spill of sand across the floor. Confused, I followed the spill to see it piled against the wall right where Matsuri had been standing.

Did I…did I just shield her with my sand from colliding into the wall?!

I gathered my sand once more and followed. It wouldn't think about it for the moment. Temari was all right, and so was her baby…my niece.

Sakura directed us to only go in as pairs. Yoshino wanted to go in first, but Shikaku made her stand back and allow Kankuro and me to go in. My eyes first went to Temari. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her face haggard and quite pale. But…she was smiling. She was smiling, and laughing, and crying. I'd never seen her like this before.

I noticed one of her hands was inserted into a glove attached to a box…and that was when I saw my niece. I froze mid-step, and Kankuro ran into me before he sidestepped around me to see her. "Whoa…"

Shikamaru was standing beside Temari, his hand in the other glove. Both of them were touching the tiny baby in the box, who looked too little and too weak to do more than fidget. She was moaning and mumbling softly, but not crying. Her eyes weren't opened, but blonde hair topped her small head.

Temari looked up at us. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Yeah…" Kankuro reached for the box, but dropped his hand. "She looks like she'll be a handful."

"She's a baby, of course she'll be a handful," said Shikamaru, but he handled her so tenderly.

Temari looked over at me. "Why don't you come a little closer and meet your niece, Gaara?"

I realized I was still standing near the doorway. I walked very slowly over to them, my eyes on the baby in the incubator. It still seemed so surreal to me that this was Temari's child…and just hours ago the both of them were in danger.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, touching the side of the case.

"For what?" asked Temari, though she was looking at her daughter.

"I dropped you." just saying it was difficult. "And I've done nothing to help you."

"I don't blame you, Gaara. To be honest, this whole situation is my fault. I was putting too much stress on myself, and I…well, I was afraid." The pregnancy and labor over, Temari was back to her frank self. "I didn't tell you guys because I forgot. I didn't tell you because…I have my own issues, and I didn't want you to see me for the mess I was. So don't apologize for anything."

"Next time you have a kid though, don't not tell us," said Kankuro. "Even if there are complications, we have a right to know."

"I know, I know."

"She's fine," said Shikamaru. "She's small, but she'll grow. She's alive and healthy, and that's what matters."

"She'd be a lot healthier if I took better care of myself." Temari sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry about this. If I'd just listen to my doctor and your mother, then it—"

"If they're not allowed to apologize, then you aren't either," Shikamaru cut in. "What matters is the end result. Yes, she's early, but she's here. And she's alive. That's all that matters."

Temari sighed again, but she leaned her head against his shoulder. It was a rare showing of affection for her. "Thank you."

"I think I should be thanking you. Nine hours of labor isn't something I could handle."

The worst was over. Temari was safe, and so was her child. But…I realized I didn't feel any better. I felt worse, in fact.

"So what will you name her?" asked Kankuro. "You're naming her, right Temari?"

Temari said nothing. She simply pulled out the card on the side of the incubator and handed it to him.

Kankuro quickly read it, and choked. "K-K-K—" he looked at her, but it was an expression of shock. "She…you named her after Mom?"

Temari nodded. "It's a pretty name and it'll suit her."

Karura. That was Mom's name, and that was the name Temari chose for her daughter. Even long afterwards, I didn't know how to take to such a name. I looked over my shoulder to see everyone looking in on us, but I focused on Matsuri. Her smile was still on her face, and she…it was a smile that gave me peace in a time when I was full of doubt and fear.

Somehow, despite my feelings, I found it in me to smile back.

---

Night fell. Naruto swung by to see Karura, and thankfully didn't need to be told twice that she couldn't be taken out of the incubator. Despite her worries, I'd never seen Temari so happy in all her life. I could see the love she had for her daughter. It showed on her face every time she looked at the baby, and she touched and talked to her as much as possible.

Shikamaru seemed annoyed by all of the attention, but I didn't miss the way he handled Temari and Karura. Temari was old enough to make her own decisions in life, but I truly felt now that she chose the right person for her.

As for me, though…

I could hear the commotion from inside the hospital, even as I sat on the roof. I looked up at the sky. It was clear, and there was a full moon. The quiet did help to calm my mood, but my emotions were still in turmoil.

"Gaara-sama?"

I'd felt someone close by, but had dismissed it. I slowly turned around to face Matsuri. "What is it?"

"Well…" she looked a little uncomfortable. "You wandered off, and everyone's looking for you."

"And you found me," I said. "You seem to have a knack for that."

"Uh, y-yes." She shifted slightly, and stepped forward. "Is everything all right, Gaara-sama? You seemed…distracted when you looked in on Karura-kun."

Hearing her say my mother's name as Temari's daughter was so…strange. I looked away. "I am happy for Temari, and I'm happy my niece is well. However…"

"You're still upset about what happened this morning," she finished for me.

Was it really that obvious? "I dropped her. There's no denying it. She was in a moment of great weakness, and I dropped her."

"But she doesn't mind over it," said Matsuri. "So why should you?"

"Because I've done nothing for her this whole time. And…" And holding her, keeping her calm, was all I had done. But I couldn't even keep my head straight over it.

"Please don't be upset," she said. "Temari-sama isn't upset, and neither is Shikamaru. Karura-kun is fine too. Don't dwell on such things, Gaara-sama. Focus on the positive. You're an uncle!!! And she's healthy and she's adorable!!"

All of this was true. It was odd that nobody wanted me wallowing in guilt over my actions. If Shikamaru hadn't been there to catch her, I might not have done it in time. And if she'd hit the floor…it hurt to think about it.

Matsuri said something to me, but it didn't register. I sighed and closed my eyes. Temari told me I shouldn't feel guilty, so why did I? Why did I feel so…wretched about all this?

Suddenly, I felt pressure on my mouth. My eyes flew open to see Matsuri's face right in mine. And she…

I sat back, away from her, staring at her stunned. She smiled at me. "I saw you were distracted Gaara-sama, and so I tested you. I said I would kiss you, but you didn't react."

I just stared at her. Kiss me? She kissed me?! But why would she do that? No…I didn't need to ask that. Not now, at least.

My lack of reaction and the reality of what she did settled over her. Matsuri flushed and she quickly stood up. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Gaara-sama!!! I shouldn't have done that without your permission!!!"

I slowly rose to my feet, but I was at a loss for words. I wasn't angry she did it, even if it seemed like she did it as a joke. But I knew…she liked me. That was why she came out here, and was concerned about me. She cared. And I…

But Matsuri was looking for an escape. "E-Excuse me." She spun on her heel and got ready to run.

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand reached out and grabbed her wrist. She turned back around, clearly startled and a little frightened, but I pulled her towards me. She stumbled slightly, but she didn't fight me. She looked more and more embarrassed, even as I grabbed her other hand in mine.

I didn't know what I was doing, or why I was doing this, until she was up in front of me. I leaned forward, and touched her lips with mine. I was kissing her.

Only…I don't kiss. I've never kissed anyone in my life, and nobody has kissed me other than short kisses Temari has given me on the cheek. Never on the mouth, and never like this. She wasn't fighting me, but she didn't seem to know how to take to this. And now, it was my turn to be embarrassed.

I pulled away, but not too far. I didn't know what to say to her. Her face was still red, but her eyes…they were shining, like she was ready to cry. I guess I really was bad.

Matsuri pulled her hands free from my loosened hold, but she didn't step away. Instead, she touched my arms and leaned forward again, and kissed me again. And I…somehow, even though I didn't know how, I felt I could kiss her back.

The whole situation was awkward, and embarrassing. But kissing her…it felt nice. It felt right.