Chapter one

It was dark in the room the only light coming from the flashing numbers on the digital alarm clock sitting on the bed side table. The only person in the room was lying bundled in the middle of the double bed, blankets all tangled around her, her dark hair lying across the pillow. The phone rang in the darkness, a hand reached out from the bed and grabbed the phone placing it to her ear. "Agent Emily Prentiss" the lady was now sitting up in the bed. "Hello" she called out into the silence of the phone, she was just about to hang up when a weak voice range out.

"Hey sis its me" the lady's voice on the other end of the phone was barley above a whisper but Emily could depict her sisters scared voice in an instant.

"Liz what's wrong, what's happened" Emily looked at the clock on her bedside table, It flashed 3.40. She was wide awake now.

"um….I'm coming down with Rachel for a visit" the lady on the other end of the line tried to sound happy but Emily saw right threw it.

"Liz what's wrong?" Emily was beginning to get scared when her sister didn't answer. "Dam it Liz what's wrong" there was crying from the other side of the phone.

"I should have listened to you em, he hit me, Dave hit me, I don't know what to do" again there was crying and the soothing voice of Emily.

"Liz its gonna be ok, you and Rachel can stay with me. Now what time are you going to arrive?" the crying on the other end stopped and there was just the occasional sniffle.

"Um about 9.00" Liz now sounded relieved.

Emily sighed into the phone and rubbed a hand over her face "I'll already be at work, you can come there just tell them that you're my sister and they will take you to me" Emily could tell that her sister was now smiling

"Ok em I'll see you soon and thanks" the conversation ended with the high pitch beep as Liz hung up the phone. Emily looked down at her bed and shook her head, she had, had the same dream again. Well it was more like a nightmare. She sighed out loud and made her way to the bathroom taking off her tank top and underwear as she went. She looked at her naked body in the mirror, and saw the scars. She had known that this Dave guy was bad news but she had wanted her sister to be happy god knows she deserved it after what they had gone through. Look at what she had done. This guy had hit her sister, he had caused more damage. Emily let out a frustrated sigh and quickly backed away from the mirror. She turned on the taps and stepped into the streaming water. She hated that she couldn't look in the mirror and not remember the horrors of her past.

When she finally emerged from the shower it was 5.30. She felt better now, it was like the pelting of the water had washed away all her thoughts in order for her to continue for the day. She walked naked into her bedroom and over to her chest of draws. She pulled them open and picked out a plain black bra and undies. She opened the next draw and pulled out a blue low cut top, she didn't feel like ironing her suite this morning. She pulled on a pair of pants and sat in silence in her kitchen munching quietly on her piece of toast.

By 6.00 she was in her car driving to work, she didn't know what she was going to say to the team when she showed up. She new that Hotch and Rossi would ask her what's wrong and when she said she just had a bad nights sleep, they wouldn't believe her but nod and leave it at that. She planed on avoiding Garcia, and she new that Reid would just ramble on about something and get side tracked. She new that JJ would ask her off to the side what's wrong and would tell her that if she ever needed anything she new where to go. But it was Morgan that was going to be the problem. He could sense a mile away when there was something wrong with any member of the team and she was no exception, he was really good at knowing when there was something wrong. Hell one time he had even known that she had her monthly and went to the shops to get her some medicine. She new that he wouldn't drop the subject even if she hit him.

At 7.00 Emily had parked her car in the BAU car park and was walking towards the reception desk. "Can I help you agent Prentiss?" the lady behind the desk asked chirpily.

Emily smiled at her "yes actually my sister and her daughter will be arriving at 9.00 could you have someone escort them to me?" the lady at the desk smiled and told her that it wouldn't be a problem.

Emily was in the lift and trying to calm her breathing down, she could handle this, the team didn't need to know about her past and she drew strength from the vow she had made when she first joined the team. She had vowed that they would never know about anything from her past. Emily was lost in thought and didn't notice that the lift had reached its destination and opened its doors, people where looking at her and finally hotch and Rossi brought her back to real life

"Emily you ok" Emily nearly jumped out of her skin she looked around and mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. "I'm fine just didn't get enough sleep last night that's all" she saw the looks on there faces and prayed that they would just leave it at that.

"If your sure that's all it is" Rossi said with a small smile on his face. She nodded her head and walked towards her desk. She exhaled remembering that Reid wasn't in today and that she only had to face two more people. As if on que JJ fell into step with her and quickly grabbed her by the elbow and stoped her in the corner. "Hey what's wrong" she looked so concerned and Emily felt a pang of guilt that she would lie to her friend.

"I'm fine I just haven't had a good nights sleep" she new that JJ could see that she was lying. "Em you don't have to hide anything from us were your friends" Emily didn't mean it, hell she didn't even know where it had come from but she just lost it and yelled. "WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SOMETHING WRONG I TOLD YOU I AM PERFECTLY FINE NOW JUST LEAVE IT" she stormed off towards her desk well aware that every face in the room was turned towards her, and that she had just left her friend standing there a little shaken in the corner of the room.

She walked into her area and threw her bag down, but when she looked up saw the concerned face of Derek Morgan. "Emily what's going on?" she slammed her hands on the desk she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes but refused to let them spill. "FOR THE LAST TIME THERE IS NOTHING WRONG, JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. IM NOT IN FOR ONE OF YOUR STUPID GAMES MORGAN" she saw the hurt portrayed on his face and nearly let the tears spill.

Hotch and Rossi where walking over to where they where standing. "Everyone get back to your work" Hotch yelled and everyone obeyed. Emily looked up and happened to see the video that was playing on the big screen. It was off a teenage girl being beaten while chained to a pole, by and older male. It was like a sensory overload, it brought back bad memories. God she felt sick. Emily bolted from the room causing everyone to stop there work once again.

"Morgan where are you going she doesn't want to talk" Rossi yelled after his retreating team mate. Morgan answered back over his shoulder. "She wants to talk she just needs a little push" and with that he had disappeared around the same corner Emily did a moment before.

Morgan found Emily at the corner of a hallway throwing up the contents of her stomach, he walked up beside her, pulled her hair out of her face and began rubbing small circles on her back. When she turned around he saw her tear strained face. It was a strange face to him he had never seen Emily show any signs of weakness, and this proved to him that there was indeed something terribly wrong. "Em I am not going to go away until you tell me what's wrong" he saw the stubbornness in her eyes so he continued.

"Emily we all care for eachother in the BAU and you are no different, you make people believe that you are a strong person who no one can break , but I know that its only a mask." He lifted her chin up gently forcing her to look him in the eye before he continued. He new that she had to see he was sincere for him to break through her defence and help her. "I have known that it was a mask from the first day you set foot here and I can only see past half of it, but the real you I can see is scared and looking for help." He looked her in the eye and rubbed his thumb across her cheek. "em I cant help you if you don't let me in" that was all it took, that one show of compassion and Emily Prentiss the tough FBI agent, known for never showing weakness was wrapped in the arms of Derek Morgan crying.

Morgan held her. It was all he could do. His heart ached seeing her cry but he was glad that he had finally broken through her defences and was now able to help her.

After 10 minutes Emily pulled away, she was happy that Morgan was the one that had seen her cry and not someone else. She new that she would have to tell him, but more importantly she wanted to tell him and that scared her most off all and as if sensing her fear he pulled her into a hug again.

Morgan new that this was going to be hard getting her to open up to him, he pulled her away from him and looked her in the eye. "Emily you don't have to tell me everything at once, just a little bit at a time." Emily nodded wiping at her tears.

"I don't know what to say Morgan I've never told anybody about my past" he smiled gently at her. "Why don't you start with what's making you upset today" he coaxed her on.

Emily new that she wanted to tell him but she new Derek Morgan and new how he would react. "ok I will talk but on two conditions, one you never tell anybody else and two your not going to like what I say but you have to promise me that you wont go after anybody" Derek looked confused at the last statement. "promise me Derek" Morgan deals with criminals every day, he has been beaten and had a gun held to his head, in truth he was scared in all those situations but when he looked into Emily's eyes and saw the pain he new what scared really was.

He placed his hands gently on either side of her arms and said slowly " Emily I promise, no matter what you tell me I wont touch anyone except if they try to hurt you" she nodded her head

"the reason I'm upset is because I got a call from my sister at 3.40 this morning telling me that the guy she's with has hit her, and its all my fault" Emily looked away she new if she looked at Morgan she would cry, she had cried enough for one day she wasn't going to cry anymore. Her thoughts where interrupted by Morgan

"Emily how is your sister getting hit by a man your fault?" he was confused he didn't understand how Emily could blame herself for this but he found out.

"I new he was bad, but she was so happy. After all we've been through she deserved happiness. I could have gotten her and Rachel killed and…" she was cut short by Morgan's confusion. "Hold on who's Rachel?" he didn't know who this Rachel was he thought that maybe it was a cousin or friend.

Emily shook her head slightly annoyed at herself for forgetting to mention Rachel before now. "Oh um Rachel is Liz's 3 year old daughter" when Derek nodded his head she took in a deep breath and continued. "They could have died because I thought for a moment that we were safe, I am the one that's meant to keep her safe. I always had, I took the hits, I took everything they gave and I always tried to take her place. I let her down" a single tear escaped down her cheek only to be wiped so gently from her face by Derek

"Emily listen to me. I don't know what you took exactly but answer me one question, how old where you when you escaped" Emily thought back to the police officer pushing her into a car her sister in beside her. "I was 16 and Liz was 13" Derek gave her a reassuring smile.

"Em you had been looking out for your sister from a young age and when you escaped it is only natural for you to want to believe that everything was going to be ok, hell you where only 16, no 16 year old should have that kind of responsibility. You did the best that you could and I'm sure that your sister knows that." Emily thought for a while and came to the decision that Morgan was right.

Emily leaned over and gave him a quick hug before pulling him along after her. "Thanks Morgan. I think we should start work now" he new that this was going to be her way of telling him she had, had enough for a while and he accepted that. As they walked back into the office area everyone was looking. When they reached the team all the staring stoped. "Everything's going to be ok" Morgan said with a nod of his head. Hotch nodded and continued with his speech on a case.

Emily pulled JJ off to the side "I'm so sorry I had no right to say what I said" JJ shook her head and hugged her friend. "Emily I know there is something bothering you I only asked because I just wanted to get you to open up to someone and I am glad they you talked to Morgan. You don't have to tell me anything but just remember that I will always be here for you if you need me."

Emily nodded and her and JJ joined in on the team's discussion.