"Teardrops On Ryan's Guitar"
Disclaimer:
I own nothing! This story was inspired by Taylor Swift's beautiful song "Teardrops On My Guitar".
Rating:
PG-13 (for a homosexual pairing)
Genre:
Romance/Angst
Pairing:
Tryan
Lyrics Used:
"Teardrops On My Guitar"
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Troy Bolton had just come from the gym after finishing basketball practice. He had taken a shower after practice ended so he was the last to leave as most of the other team members waited to take their showers at home. On his way out to his truck, Troy walked by the auditorium and heard a beautiful melody paired with an equally beautiful voice. I know that voice...He thought as he moved over the door to get a better listen. After a few more seconds, he recognized the voice as belonging to none other than Ryan Evans. Troy would never admit it to anyone, but, he had fallen hard for Ryan after working with him one the winter musical last year. However, he could not bring himself to admit his feelings for Ryan to anyone else. Afterall, he had only just come to terms with them, himself. He found himself drawn to the sound of Ryan singing and presumably playing what sounded like an accoustic guitar.
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
Troy listened further and found himself jumping to what had to be an impossible conclusion. He couldn't possibly be talking about me...Could he...He remembered telling everybody of his feelings for one Gabriella, all second semester last year and over the summer. However, what Troy felt when he was with Gabriella could never hold a candle to what he felt when he was around Ryan. From the moment he had gotten together with Gabriella, he knew the relationship would not last. He just did not click with her. Sure, she was like a sister to him, but, he just could never see her as being more than that. He knew that what he felt for Ryan was the real deal. The kind of thing that only comes around once in a lifetime. From the moment he started working with Ryan on the musical, when he started getting to really know him, he felt himself click with Ryan. Up until now, he would have never thought it possible for Ryan to have felt the click, too. It isn't possible...Is it? He found that belief becoming shakier and shakier the more he listened to Ryan's singing. He also felt a slight jealous rage slowly beginning to build within him. What if there really is a "Drew"?...Who is he? Where did Ryan meet him? How did he feel about Ryan? Did he see him as being as perfect as I do? A million questions were racing through Troy's head as he listened further, hoping for any more clues.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Troy was beginning to wonder why he was still listening to the song. It was obvious that Ryan would have no reason to use a fake name to hide that it was Troy he was singing about. He was fairly certain that Ryan did not even know about his feelings for him. And, if that were not enough, he was just as sure that his feelings for Ryan could not possibly be reciprocated. He never gave me that impression, anyway... Not to mention the fact that Troy had no idea how it would be possible for Ryan to know he was listening to him singing right now. So, why use a fake name if nobody would know you were even singing in the first place. Besides, even if the entire school knew, it would not exactly be news. Anybody with a functioning pair of eyes could see that Ryan Evans was gay. So, obviously, there had to be an actual Drew. What the hell does he have that I don't?! Huh! I know I could treat Ryan a thousand times better than he could ever even dream of! Troy thought to himself as he continued listening to the sad melody.
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
There he goes, talking about "the other girl" again...Could he be referring to me & Gabriella after all?...Now, Troy was more confused than ever. But, the thought that there really was a "Drew" was still gnawing at him. Troy could now feel the burn of tears behind his eyes and the chill on his cheek as he felt a few stray tears roll down his face. Why can't I be Drew, huh?! Where did I go wrong? What did I do to lose him?! He thought to himself, wanting so desperately to be the guy Ryan was singing about. He had to physically shake his head to rid his mind of anyone else holding Ryan in his arms but himself. He had to figure out a way to become "Drew".
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Troy found himself relating more and more to the song as Ryan continued singing. He knew for a fact that Ryan was his "Drew". But, could I ever be his "Drew"? He asked himself uncertainly. His face was downright cold from the tracks the tears were leaving on their journeys down his face. He had to do something! He had to act! But, what can I do? If he's really set on this "Drew" guy...How could I ever sway him?!... Troy was at a loss. He knew he had to do something. He just did not know what that "something" should be.
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
Troy was now trembling slightly as he remembered many a night when he would stare at Ryan's picture for hours before reluctantly putting it away and trying in vain to get some sleep. The only thing that could get him to sleep was dreams of Ryan. Dreams of the things they could do together. A more favorable reality than the one Troy was stuck in during the day. Why can't things really be that way?! Why?! Troy thought to himself, angrily, wishing for the answer to just magically appear in front of him. A big bright neon sign would be nice right about now! Especially one saying "How To Land the Guy of Your Dreams!"... He thought, bitterly.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into...
Troy was grasping for an answer at this point. Something-anything-that would show Ryan that he should be the one Ryan was singing about. A way to prove his feelings for the young blonde. Slowly a plan began formulating inside his mind. To look at him, you could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. A sudden look of realization flooded over his face as he reached into his backpack for a notebook and a pen. Sitting on the floor outside the door, he began thinking of words and a melody. Listening to the final line of Ryan's song, Troy knew exactly what to write as he hurriedly scribbled the words down on the paper: the melody playing out in his head.
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.
Troy threw the pen and notebook back into his backpack as he stood. Before entering the auditorium, he took a moment to compose himself: drying his eyes and steadying his slightly uneven breath. Finally, he opened the large doors of the auditorium, and walked slowly but surely up to the stage. There, he saw what he had expected to see. Ryan sitting on the edge of the stage with an accoustic guitar lying across his lap. Now or never, Troy...He reminded himself as he took a deep breath for added courage.
"Hey, Ryan!" He greeted: trying to sound as casual as possible. He did not want to spook the young blonde. That was the last thing he would ever want. He could not stand the thought of inadvertantly pushing the beautiful angel away. That's what Ryan was to Troy. An angel. An angel sent straight to him from Heaven. He just hoped Ryan could feel that way about him. With any luck, he will by the time I'm through...
Ryan looked up, slightly startled. He had not realized anyone was still in the building. He assumed that everyone would be in a hurry to get home after school. But, it was Troy Bolton walking towards him. Of course the star of the basketball team would still be there afterschool. He should have known as much. "Hey, Troy...What's up?" He replied, hoping his voice masked his emotions at seeing Troy walk in right as he finished the very song he had written specifically for him. Thank God I decided to use the fake name...He thought silently.
"I was just coming from basketball practice and heard a voice coming from in here on my way out..." Troy explained. Hey, it was the truth! Plus, it was buying him a little time to gather his nerve. "...I hope I'm not interrupting anything..." He added. Again, it was the truth. Well, sort of. He had not meant to interrupt anything.
Shaking his head in the negative, Ryan was relieved slightly that the specific topic of the song had yet to come up. He hoped With any luck... it would not come up at all. Afterall, there were a thousand possible reasons for him to be at school after school hours, right? He did not have to be here for the reason of singing a song nobody would ever actually hear. So, with that in mind, he replied "No, not at all..."
"So...What exactly was that you were singing. It sounded great..." Troy commented, rubbing the back of his head. His signature sign that he was nervous. He hoped against hope that Ryan would not notice. Although, replaying his statement in his head, he could not help thinking it was an understatement. Beautiful...Astounding...Unbelievable...Now, that's a little more like it...He thought to himself.
"Oh...Thanks..." Ryan replied, ducking his head slightly to hide his blushing cheeks. Did Troy really just compliment me?!...Then a horrifying thought struck him. Wait a minute...That means he heard me...Shit...Ryan thought to himself, trying to appear as composed as possible. Relax, Ry...Just because he heard you, doesn't mean he knows it was written about him...You used a fake name, remember...He reminded himself before continuing. "I-it was nothing, really...Just something I was playing around with...I didn't mean for anyone to acutally hear it...It's just something that hit me while I was bored and I just sort of ran with it..." He explained. Okay, so, it wasn't exactly honest. It was partially true! He had thought of and written most of it while bored in his classes or at home.
Nodding, Troy replied "Oh...That's cool...Well..It was still great..." He replied. Finally, he decided it would be best to just go for it and get it overwith. At least this way, I'll know where I stand...Troy reminded himself as a little extra incentive. "So...Who was that 'Drew' guy you were singing about?" Troy asked, trying to keep his voice at a tone of casual curiosity. Though, he knew a slightly tinge of jealousy slipped through. Hopefully, Ryan won't have noticed. He thought, hopefully.
"Oh...Umm..." Ryan fumbled for an explanation before the truth spilled out. "It was just a name...It fit the flow of the song...No real reason behind it..." Shit...There went my escape route...Wait...Was he jealous? Ryan asked himself as he replayed Troy's response in his head. There was a definite slight touch of jealousy in his voice. He knew the brunette was trying to hide it, but, it still slipped.
"Listen, Ryan...I need to talk to you..." Troy sighed slightly before adding "The reason I stayed by the door to listen to the singing was because, I recognized your voice. I wanted to hear what you were singing about. That, and I've always just been sort of drawn to your voice..." Troy paused. Ryan, however, remained silent as he could see that Troy was finding words. "What I'm trying to say is...I think I'm falling in love with you..." There was a short awkward pause before Troy added quickly. "Not that I expect you to return my feelings-I don't!-I just thought you should know. I thought I should tell you. I don't know why..."
Ryan couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted to. He really wanted to. But, he'd been hurt too many times in the past by guys like Troy. He knew the type all too well. They would make all these wonderful, romantic promises that they would never even try to keep. They would get what they wanted from Ryan-which was usually sex-and then leave. He couldn't risk that happening with Troy. With Troy, Ryan had found himself falling harder than he had ever fallen for anyone before. And that scared him. He knew Troy could hurt him worse than anybody else ever had. No, it wasn't a chance he was willing to take. "Listen, Troy..." Ryan paused, only to continue once he saw he had Troy's full attention. "I do feel the same way...Which is why we could never be together."
Ryan took Troy's confused expression as a sign to continue. "I've been with guys like you, Troy...I know what would happen. You would make all these promises to never hurt me, love me forever, be with me until the end of time...Then, you'll get whatever it is you want from me and a couple days later, I'll find you all over some cheerleader or whatever. I'm just a phase, Troy. You don't really love me. Trust me, it's better this way. You'll find some sexy little cheerleader type girl and you'll think "Ryan who?" whenever anybody ever says my name. You'll forget all about me, Troy! I know it!..." Ryan paused a moment to take a shuddering breath. He knew his face was soaked to the bone with tears, but, he couldn't help it. It hurt so much to say no to Troy. But, in the end, he knew he would be better off for it.
Troy, on the other hand, couldn't believe what he was hearing. How can he say that...I would never do anything to hurt him. I'd rather die than cause him any pain! Troy thought to himself. He knew that he, too, was crying. Slowly, he approached Ryan and gently took the young blonde's hands in his own and looked straight into his eyes. "Ryan...I want...No...I need you to believe me. I would rather die than to hurt you...Even now...I see the tears running down your face and hate myself for it...Because I know I'm the reason for them. And that kills me, Ry...Please...I've never felt this way about anybody before...Please...Let me show you how much I love you..." Troy reached up to stroke Ryan's cheek gently, wiping away his tears.
What is he doing?...Nobody's ever done this before...Sure, all the others have seen me cry...But, they never cared about it...They never tried to stop it...And, they sure as hell never tried to wipe away my tears... Ryan thought to himself as he watched Troy indicate the guitar he was holding.
Troy saw the confused expression on Ryan's face and asked "May I?". He watched as Ryan sat there just frozen in shock. He could see in the blonde's eyes that he was grasping for an explanation as to why Troy was acting this way. Shaking off his shock, Ryan handed Troy the guitar. Propping himself up on the stage with Ryan, Troy took out the song he'd just written for Ryan while silently praying he could get it right and not make a fool of himself in front of Ryan. After tuning the guitar to his song, Troy began to sing.