Okay, okay, this may seem like '101 Ways to Fake a Marriage,' but no, it's based on the movie 'How to Dump a Guy in 10 Days. And what do you know? The characters are the same! Well, you know those fashion mags: you need a blonde beauty and really hot, sizzlin' guy!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.
Summary: Quistis Trepe works for the best selling fashion magazine, Glamour Fabulous. She needs to find a great new article ASAP; one that will make the next issue a sell out! So her co-worker, Rinoa Heartily, tells about her ex-bastard boyfriend, Squall Leonhart, and all the while make a big humiliation out of him. Quistis accepts Rinoa's offer.
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"Damn it!" said a beautiful blonde, young woman.
Quistis Trepe dropped her pen, which was black, and crumpled up the piece of paper in front of her. It was late at night, and everyone had left their working stations and went home. She didn't want to leave because she wanted to work on her article, and she was really stressing out: she was assigned to do an article that was like not other. She was assigned to do this from her boss, Xu, or she would be put in a lower job class field.
"Hey, Quistis, what's the matter?" asked a raven-haired girl.
"I can't think what my new think what my new article should be about!" she complained while pulling her hair. "And it has to be a very good one because you know what Xu said…"
"You know," started Rinoa, "All those entire sell out magazines involved dumping a guy, like 'Date a Guy, Make Him Gay!' or 'Let a Guy Propose to You in 60 Days, then Dump Him."
And right then and there, it struck Rinoa, not Quistis. She knew exactly what Quistis should do. And it was a perfect plan to humiliate her bastard ex-boyfriend.
"Quistis, I've got it!"
"Got what?"
"What you're new article should be about!"
"Oh, and what's that?" she asked curiously.
"'How to Dump a Guy in 10 Days!'"
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"No way! Rinoa! It can be anyone but him!" shouted Quistis, walking into their 4-bedroom condominium.
"Oh, come on, Quistis! It's a win-win: I get my revenge, and you get your article," persuaded Rinoa.
"But, he's so to himself, and says 'Whatever' all the time," Quistis shot back.
"Let's ask Selphie then."
Quistis and her two friends Rinoa and Selphie lived in an uptown condominium. They all shared the bills equally, and, heck, they even had an extra room. Their kitchen walls were yellow with white drawers and cabinets; their living room had an aqua-green border line; and their bathroom was no other color besides the girl-friendly color, pink. It was completely girlyfied.
And as the two female co-workers entered their living room, they saw a brunette watching 'SquarePants SpongeBob' in yellow pjs.
"Haha, Mandy is chasing Fatrick and SquarePants for calling Winhill dumb!" said a very hyper Selphie aloud, while laughing, not knowing the two had entered the room.
"Selphie!" they both shouted in unison.
Selphie jumped up and faced them, then kneeled on the couch.
"When did you guys get in here?" she asked.
"Hello! We came in like 5 minutes ago! Did you not hear us?" asked Quistis.
"I know that! Oh, and I totally agree with Rinoa!" Selphie said. "It is a win-win situation, Quisty! And besides, the front room isn't too far away!"
Quistis stared at them for about ten seconds before storming off to her bedroom. And, of course, Selphie and Rinoa followed.
When Quistis reached her room, she shut the door behind her and locked it. Quistis waited for the "Quistis!?" and "Quisty?!" to die down before making her next move.
Quistis walked over to her drawers and grabbed a white tank top and something that seemed to be boys' underpants, but was rather girlie because it was lavender and had flowers on them. She then made her way to her shared, yet very clean and germ-free, bathroom and removed her clothing and let her hair loose and took a nice, hot shower.
About 15 minutes later, she finished showering, stepped out, grabbed a towel, dried her self, and put on her so called 'pjs' and put her hair in its usual state.
As she left the bathroom, she marched towards her living room to speak with Selphie and Rinoa.
"Okay," she said, with her friend's eyes fixed on her, "I'll do it."
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In Selphie Tilmitt's world, she wouldn't normally ask her hubby to do her a favor, especially one this big.
She wanted her boyfriend to take one of the 'necessary mission items' to a coffee shop so Quistis can have a chance to encounter him.
"Please, Irvy?" said Selphie pouting, "For me?"
"For Quistis, you mean?" her boyfriend 'Irvine' answered. And he could've sworn he heard an "Asshole!" but not from Selphie.
"C'mon! It's very often I ask you to do a favor for me!"
Irvine just sighed.
"Okay, I'll do it."
"Really? Yes!" Selphie said, jumping on Irvine and giving him a bear hug, which nearly made them both fall over.
"Quistis! Rinoa! He said he'll do it!"
Just as Selphie finished her sentence, Quistis and Rinoa came from behind a wall.
"Yeah, Selphie, we're not deaf!" exclaimed Quistis.
"So, that's where 'Asshole!' came from," joked Irvine.
"Save i-"
"Mission briefing!" Rinoa called out.
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"Okay," Rinoa started, "There's a new coffee shop on Deling Avenue. Irvine and 'Squall' will go check it out. Irvine, you will make Squall order your coffee and then ditch him. When he's heading out the door, Quistis will make her way her way in and hold the door open for Squall. Squall should recognize you, Quistis, so he will definitely stop to talk to you, guaranteed. Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am!" they all shouted.
"Good! Then move out!"
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Quistis, Rinoa, and Selphie were waiting outside Squall's living quarters in Quistis' car. They also had a 'walkie talkie' while Irvine had the other so they could listen for 'coded' words to make their next moves.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?' asked a male voice from the other side of the door.
"It's Irvine," said Irvine.
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A few seconds later, a fully clothed, ready-to-go Squall was standing in front of Irvine.
"Hey, there's this new coffee shop down the street and I thought you would like to go down and get some coffee?" asked Irvine.
"Sure!" said Squall.
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"He sure sounds different," said Quistis.
"See! I told you!" said Rinoa. "Irvine said 'coffee shop,' so let's go!"
Quistis drove off in the direction of the coffee.
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"So, what have you been up to? Rinoa okay?" asked Squall.
"Better than ever!" replied Irvine.
"Selphie?" Squall asked. "You two still hitting it off?"
"Yep," said Irvine, "By the way, Squall, we're here."
"Oh."
Squall went in, but stopped to ask Irvine why he wasn't going to going in.
"You're not coming in?" he asked.
"Nah, I'm goin' to stay out here, but get me a black coffee, could you?"
"Alright, suit yourself."
Squall went in and Irvine took out his 'wallkie talkie'.
"Okay, he's in and second person in line, and I'm outtie," said Irvine talking into the walkie talkie.
As he finished, Irvine walked to the side of building to walk into what looked like a parking lot. Quistis was also waiting on the side. When she saw Irvine, she handed him her keys for obvious reasons.
Quistis wore some casual clothes: a white shirt, in which you can see the black bra she was wearing slightly, a pink mini skirt, one and a half in inch heels, and a pink handbag.
Quistis was watching and waiting on the side of the building waiting for Squall to get the coffee. She can also see he was looking for Irvine, but he looked totally clueless and Quistis giggled at the thought that he didn't know Irvine had ditched him. Some people also shot her with looks that clearly said 'what a weird woman,' but she didn't care.
Quistis didn't notice, but she was actually observing Squall's appearance: he wore a black suit with a white button up shirt and a black tie. He had on some professional looking shoes on, too. Not to mention he had a side backpack. And as soon as she zoned out, she saw him grabbing the coffee and she literally ran towards the entrance of the coffee shop.
Quistis opened the front door and, without noticing, dashed inside. And to makes matters worse, she and Squall crashed right into each other, making them fall, with coffee all over them Squall had dropped.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" she said, trying not to look up. And, oh yeah, she felt many, many eyes on her and Squall.
"Not, it was my fau- Quistis?" Squall suddenly said.
Quistis looked up slowly and said, "Do I know you?"
She felt like such an idiot.
"'Do I know you?' It's me, Squall!" Squall said, trying hard to help her remember.
"Oh, the guy who dated my friend and dumped her!" said Quistis very loud so the whole shop could hear.
"Yeah that's me." He thought he deserved that.
"Uh-huh."
"Do you think we should get out of here? I live down the block," he said, standing up and taking off his top half of the suit thingy.
"Um, sure."
Squall then helped Quistis up, both completely ignoring the mess they had made. He also could've sworn he saw her black panties. And with that, they headed out the door.
As they walked out, Squall dug into his bag and took out what looked like a black hooded jacket.
"Here, you can put this on," said Squall, "People are staring."
Quistis looked down to see that the spilled coffee actually did more damage than she thought. Her shirt was now completely see-through.
"And I suppose one of those people is you," she said, more than gladly accepting his offer.
"Oh, sorry," was all he could say.
After that, they didn't speak to each other. Squall's 'hoodie' (A/N: To clear up confusion, possibly, it's not the same jacket as in FF8) was a bit big on Quistis, as the sleeves went a few inches past her hands and the bagginess looked like she was pregnant. Not to mention that her handbag indicated where her hands were.
'Just down the block, my ass!' thought Quistis.
As they continued walking in silence, they both felt nervous in their both their presence. Just then, a fairly old couple stopped in front of them and, they to, stopped.
"Oh, George, remember when we were that young?" asked the elderly woman to the man next to her who was he same age.
"Yes, Molly, yes," said George.
"So, dear," sad Molly, referring to Quistis, "When is your baby due?"
"Um, excuse me?" replied Quistis. Squall just looked away, trying not to laugh.
"Your baby? When is it due?"
"Um, Miss, I'm not carrying his baby," said Quistis, trying not to sound disgusted and irritated.
"Well, then who is this handsome, young man?"
Squall turned around and held out his, and Molly and George both shook his hand.
"I'm Squall, her fiancé," said Squall, continuing, "She just doesn't want to admit she's carrying my baby."
"Oh, my! Well good luck with the pregnancy, dear!" And with that, Molly headed in the direction she was going in the first place.
"Oh, laddy," said George, talking to Squall, "You'll be needing the luck."
Squall turned back smiling, only to find a very disturbed Quistis. He kept smiling to cheer her up, but failed miserably.
"WHAT?" shouted Quistis, making many people look their direction, including the elderly couple.
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"We did it, Molly!" said George in delight.
"I just can't wait to read her article," replied Molly, as they continued on walking.
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"We're getting married and I'm having your child?" shouted Quistis, with everyone inside and outside the buildings watching.
"Quistis?"
"Don't you 'Quistis!' me!"
And with that, she stormed off. Smiling. Exactly what she had planned. Squall shouted her name a few times, but he just got the rude finger, which made Quistis glee in triumph.
And out of nowhere, a guy with a backwards baseball cap on had two words for Squall:
"Ouch, man."
And she still had his black hoodie on.
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Ahem. Ta-da! Hoped you liked it! And if you didn't, then boo-hoo! Anyway, thank you for tuning in and reading! And if you want more of my story ideas, visit my profile! And you can check out my list of fave couples from games I have played, because yours is probably up there; and I swear on my Grandmother's grave it is!
Anyway, review! Review! And if you don't, I'll hunt you down and make you, not matter what your mama said!
AND HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! I hope everyone has/had a great time with heir families and all; huntin' eggs and all that fun stuff.
SquarePants SpongeBob: Yeah, it's an obvious there, with all their mixed up names.
Elderly Couple: As you can tell, they were in the plans. The old woman was to say something bad about Quistis on purpose, to flare up her anger and get mad at poor Squally.