Gabriella Gets Around

Chapter One: The Troyella Chapter.

A/N: This is basically a parody of all the different pairings that Gabriella is in. I mean, she's with basically everyone in the whole movie cast in the fics that some people write! So, if you have heard of an unusual pairing, please PM or tell me in a review. I so far only know of Troyella, Ryella, and Chadella.

Disclaimer: I own nothing…

Gabriella hugged her books to her unusually large chest. She was so excited, because today she was going to a party at Sharpay's house. Even though she and Sharpay completely clashed, and in the movie they would NEVER be friends, we readers like to pretend that Sharpay isn't a total retard. Which she is. But no one realizes that.

Anyways, back to Gabriella. Where was I? Oh, yes, unusually large chest. Party at Sharpay's. Right. So, Gabriella walked down the hallway, getting a lot more attention than your average geek should. As she exited the recently-remodeled building that was East High, she looked around and saw none other than her crush, Troy Bolton. Or, as the cheerleaders call him, 'the hottie superbomb.' Which every fic refers to at least once.

"Oh, look." Taylor said, sidling up along side Gabriella. "It's lunkhead basketball man." Of course, Taylor said this because it is yet another essential line in every HSM fic, simply because we want to prove that we have, indeed, watched the movie.

"Oh, hey Taylor. Say, are you going to the party at Sharpay's tonight?" Gabriella asked, twirling a lock of her unusually perfect hair.

"Ugh, I hate that girl. But, I guess I'll go, simply because I'm so popular now that I'm dating Chad." Taylor, of course, is allowed to hate Sharpay, though Gabriella isn't. The authors never really explain this, instead giving vague answers like, "Taylor had experienced too much of Sharpay's wrath." Or, the ever-so-popular, "it fit in with the plot."

Gabriella filed her unusually long nails. "Do you think that Troy will be there?" Gabriella blurted out suddenly.

Taylor shrugged. "I'll ask my lil' hunny bunny boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure that he'll be there." Along with popularity, Taylor has also acquired a much smaller vocabulary.

Gabriella flashed her unusually bright smile. "Thanks, Tay-Tay!" With popularity, Gabriella had acquired lame nicknames for people, such as 'Tay-Tay' or 'Chad-Wad.' I know. I'm just as frightened as you are.

Taylor also grinned a falsely sweet smile, and walked away.

Gabriella looked at her watch, and gasped. Three o'clock already? The party started at nine! She only had—Gabriella counted on her fingers—six hours left to get ready for the party!

Gabriella quickly started walking home. Suddenly, a dark blue Porsche drove up along side her.

"Hey, want a ride?" Said a deep, masculine voice. (Three guesses who.)

"Oh, Troy, that would be great!" Gabriella said unusually shrilly. She climbed into his Porsche because, you know, a teacher's salary sure is a lot of money. Really. Troy didn't have to steal two years worth of his dad's paycheck just to make the down payment…

"It's no problem, Gabby." Answered Troy. Because, you know, in the movie, he always calls her Gabby. Always.

"So, Troy," Gabriella started, fluttering her unusually long eyelashes. "Are you going to the party at Sharpay's house tonight?"

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?" Troy responded.

"Maybe helping your mother fold laundry. You are just so helpful and kind."

"I know." Troy stopped the car. "Well, here's your house. Because, you see, I already know your address. I'm psychic." Troy tapped his head, to get the point across that he was, indeed, psychic.

Gabriella giggled loudly. "Like, Troy, you are so funny!"

Troy frowned. "No, I'm really psychic."

Gabriella giggled again. "Righty-o, Troy!" Gabriella, aka 'Gabby' then exited the Porsche.

As soon as Gabriella got into the house, she ran upstairs.

"Oh, no!" Gabriella fretted, staring into her unusually hip and stylish wardrobe. "I have nothing to wear! Everything I own sucks!"

Gabriella eventually decided to wear her (insert fancy designer name here) dress. It was (insert lengthy description here (because we just all need to know how Gabriella dresses.))

Gabriella then did her hair in curls. Because she can't do anything different to save her life.

Just as she finished, the clock turned to 9:00. Gabriella gasped, then ran down the stairs, and to… her couch. Gabriella sat down patiently, and waited until it was precisely 9:12. See, Gabriella was always fashionably late. She then went out the door, and walked down the street to Sharpay's house. Because, you know, I'm pretty sure that they all live on the same street.

Right when Gabriella was about to knock on the door (the time was now 9:17) she heard a voice from behind her say, "Let me get that."

Gabriella gasped unusually loudly, and turned around. It was Sharpay! She had magically appeared from nowhere, like she tends to do in the movie.

Gabriella held an unusually pretty hand to her unusually large chest. "Goodness, Sharpay, you scared me!"

Sharpay smiled, showing off brilliant white teeth. "My bad. I was just getting pizza. See?" Sharpay held up 10 boxes of pizza, which had surely not been there before.

"Oh!" Gabriella said, in her unusually sweet voice, "Let me help you!" Gabriella lifted seven boxes off of the pile. Gabriella, though she looked very thin and delicate, was actually a famous female wrestler. Gabriella did indeed have many talents.

"Thanks!" Sharpay said thankfully, and opened the door.

Gabriella gasped. The party was hoppin'! All around her, different things were happening. For example, in one corner, it looked like a game of 'Drop' was taking place. (A/N: If you don't know what drop is, it's a game where one person yells, '1, 2, 3, DROP!' And the last person to sit down has to take off one article of clothing.) In another corner, several kids were drinking punch. In the center of the room, people were dancing. Dancing at the Evan's party was actually quite a difficult feat, as the house was so crowded, it was difficult to move.

Gabriella scanned the crowd. Where was Troy? After a few minutes, she spotted him by the refreshments table. Gabriella walked over to Troy, and said,

"Hey, Troy! Wha—" The rest of her sentence was cut off, as the beginning notes of 'Start of Something New' began to play.

"Gabby!" Troy exclaimed. "It's our song!" He then pulled Gabriella up to the Karaoke stage that had conveniently appeared, and they began to sing. Without the sheet music. Or any type of musical aid. Because they knew the song. I mean, they had already sung it ONE time, so why shouldn't they know it?!

Troy looked deep into Gabriella's eyes.

"Livin' in my own wooooooooorld.

Didn't un-der-stand.

That anything can hap-pen.

When you take a chaaaaaaaaance!"

Gabriella sighed, and continued the song.

(Insert the rest of the lyrics here.)
After they had finished the song, Troy brought Gabriella outside.

"Gabriella," he started off. "I have something to tell you."

"Well, then, tell it to me, Troy-Boy!" Gabriella giggled.

"I," Troy started, "Well, I, y'know, like you. A lot."

Gabriella's unusually bright eyes grew brighter as they glistened with tears. "Oh, Troy-Boy. I like you too. No, wait, I love you. Even though we've only just found out that we like each other, I feel that we have a strong connection."

Troy shrugged. "OK. Works for me. Now, let's go inside. I heard that Chad and/or Sharpay spiked the punch, hoping to ruin our relationship. Again."

Gabriella smiled. "OK!"

Troy and Gabriella then went inside, and drank some punch. They also had wild, crazy sex in someone's bedroom.

THENEXTMORNING-THENEXTMORNING

Gabriella woke up suddenly, only to find herself draped across Troy, naked.

"Oh, dear." Gabriella said in an unusually good monotone. "What do we have here?"

Troy, who had coincidentally woken up at the same time as Gabriella, shrugged. "I dunno. Though it looks like something we will regret."

Gabriella reached over to her half-finished cup of punch on the table. "I'm thirsty."

Troy grabbed her hand. "NO!" he exclaimed. "It'll hurt the baby!"

Gabriella withdrew her hand. "How do you know that I'm going to be pregnant?"

Troy shrugged. "When are you not?"

Gabriella reached over onto the night table, and grabbed a pregnancy test. "Good point. But, just in case…" Gabriella then exited into the bathroom.

When she came back, Troy looked at her expectantly. "Well?"

Gabriella heaved an unusually dramatic sigh. "It's… negative."

Troy looked shocked. "But… but… now your mom can't look after a baby that was the result of our drunken mistakes! The whole plotline of the story is ruined!"

Gabriella laughed. "I was just kidding. Of course it's positive!"

Troy looked relieved. "Well. Don't scare me like that ever again!"

Gabriella laughed… again. "OK." Gabriella then sobered. "Troy, I have something to tell you." Troy looked apprehensive. Gabriella continued. "The baby… might not be yours."

Troy gasped. "What?!?!"

Gabriella sighed unusually dramatically. "You see, Troy, earlier on, one of your opponents and/or my father and/or Ryan raped me."

Troy shrugged. "You never actually get pregnant from being raped, you know. You only get pregnant from having sex with me. I wouldn't worry if I were you."

"That's a fair point," Gabriella said, unusually thoughtfully. "I never really have gotten pregnant from being raped. And the rapist never evens wears a condom! And we always do!" Gabriella began to pace. "I'm starting to see a plot hole here…"

"Yeah," Troy said, grimacing. "Darn those condoms! We should sue!"

Gabriella's face lit up. "Yeah! Good idea, honey."

Troy puffed out his chest. "I know."

Gabriella and Troy got dressed unusually quickly, all the while plotting to sue the Trojan condom company.

A/N: I have one request; please, no one review and say, "The characters were soooo out of character." The characters are supposed to be OOC. It's a parody! Oh, yeah, up next… The Ryella Chapter. And, one more thing, I won't be updating this too frequently. I have two other stories going on, and this is just to blow off steam, and to relax.

I like reviews, even from anonymous people!

Tootles!

TheFabMax