Introduction
"Hi, my name-a Borat and dis is my brotha Bilo. He has a very funny retardation. Say hi, Bilo… Bilo says hi. I come to America once to look for Pamela. But she… she… no want me so I marry stripper name Luenell. Luenell, she has taught English to my family and friends. She and my sister, Natalya, make sexy time on my couch. Very good, yes. I still news reporter in Kazakhstan, but rating so high when I go to America, producer send me again, only dis time with my family and friends… and my neighbor, Nushuktan Tulyiagby. Nobody like Nushuktan Tulyiagby, except for my friend, Jesus. My mother is still oldest woman in town of Kuczek, now 44 year old. I still love her. I try not to keep news report boring, so I tell joke. My mother is young woman, pause, not. See I laugh. Ha ha ha. I make funny. So anyway I go to America with Luenell, retard brother Bilo, Kazakhstan #4 prostitute Natalya, producer Azamat, Nushuktan Tulyiagby, my muther, and town rapist Urkin. I try to call White House to ask where we sleeping for next six months, and officer he say we go to stay at city called Fukyu, Terorist. Nice! You read my story or my country bomb your Eiffel Tower."
Oksana Sagdiyev
"Hello, it's me, Luenell. Today, the family is going to visit Oksana's grave. Oksana Sagdiyev was Borat's first wife. Tomorrow we will be leaving Kazakhstan for New York City. So I guess it's time to go." Luenell, Borat, his mother, Natalya, and Bilo all get into a wagon, which is led by two donkeys. They began to very slowly, roll down the countryside. Several minutes later, they arrive at what appears to be a large tar pit. They then get out of the wagon and stop at a smaller puddle of tar with a piece of cardboard sticking out.
They gather around and Borat begins to say a few words, "My wife, she die a when walking brotha Bilo, and bear beat and how you say, uh… violate her. We put body in cardboard box found in alley. It have dead Gypsy en it, and we use box for wife. She smell like brotha Bilo after coming home from brothel, not good! We put box in black pit and we come every week to give offerings so ghost not come and snap off cock of Borat." Natalya then drops a bag of rat feces into the small puddle, and they stay for a few moments as the sack of crap begins to sink.
Last Night in Kuczek
Borat and the family then came home to have a small dinner of stale bread and the meat of an unidentified animal. After Natalya and Luenell finish, they leave to get some "work" done, and the others enjoy a treat provided by Luenell. Bilo then says in a deranged voice, "This ches, it make same way as Oksana make ches. Lu… Luannel, she make with milk from tit. It not as good, but better than nuthin."
Borat then begins to speak for him, "What Bilo trying to say es Borat's wife make cheese from tit same way as Borat's first wife. We used to always enjoy her cheese, but now muther must tell Luenell how. Right, Muther?"
Borat's mother then says, "Yes, her cheese taste worst than Urkin's semen. It not as sour, but still make want to throw up." Bilo then nods his head after this disturbing statement. "It now time for good rest, Borat. Wake up tomorrow, pack your thing, say goodbye to everyone, dance, eat, piss, sexy time with mutha-in-law, and we off to America!" Borat then smiles at his mother and he and Bilo go to sleep for the night.
Give My Regards to Kuczek
The next day, Borat wakes up and finds a man in his bed along with Luenell. He looks closely and sees that it's Nushuktan Tulyiagby. Borat then begins screaming something in Kazak, which wakes up both Luenell and Nushuktan Tulyiagby. "Wut is wrong wit you, Luenell. GO HOME, NUSHUKTAN TULYIAGBY!" His neighbor gets out of the bed completely nude and looks a little frightened. "Why must you want everything I have! I get a window from a glass, you must get a window from glass, I get a step, you must get a step, but you get sexy time with Luenell!" Nushuktan Tulyiagby then runs out of the house, still naked. "And you, Luenell, woman can make sexy time, but with Nushuktan Tulyiagby. I tell Mr. Jesus about you done bad. You hurt me, Luenell. Not happen again, or you will be sent to Uzbekistan! Naughty, naughty. Do you understand Borat?" Luenell just nods her head, still very confused. Borat then storms out of the room. He begins to pack, and later afterwards he starts giving his goodbyes to everyone. He begins kissing many men on the streets, to give his goodbyes. He then wrestles some of them, one of them being the town mechanic and abortionist. He then tells his neighbor who lost his leg, "This time I promise I get new leg in America for you. This time it will be real leg, not just stale roll of bread found in dumpster. Nice!" Borat then begins to round up all of the people who are going. He gets his mother, Bilo, Luenell, his neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby, Natalya, and his producer Azamat Bagatov. Now he just has to find the town rapist, Urkin. "If I were de town rapist, where would Borat be. I would be in a dark alley!"
They then split up and soon Azamat crosses the potassium mines, where he hears something other than mining. He goes in to the cave and finds Urkin, who is humping a dead animal. "Borat say time to go, also he say humans only! Naughty, naughty…" Urkin looks a little ashamed, but you can tell he's faking.
They then get back to Kuczek, where the group is waiting for Azamat to return. The large group then gets into the only truck in town driven by a young boy, probably only twelve or thirteen years old. Borat then yells out to the almost entire population of Kuczek, "I go to America again!" The crowd then cheers, and the group of ecstatic Kazakhs (except for Nushuktan Tulyiagby, he's rarely happy) have begun the first leg of the journey to living in America for six months. What obstacles await them? Find out next time.