Summery
a new kid has moved to south park and discovers the joy of growing up with a bunch of students in the 3rd grade this will take place 3 weeks before cartman gets an anal probing so basically there will be some non-continuity and there will be pairings mostly straight but its designed to be a comedy not romance I am writing this cause it came to me WARNING O.C ALERT I am in the world of south park :P
Chapter 1 welcome to South Park
Rated T for language
Disclaimer I don't own South Park
A/N
Before I write this is unoriginal in the highest order this is probably the most overdone story idea so far thanks to the new stick of truth game well this is basically a whole new world in south park parallel in many ways but it changes a little so yeah this is my story if you like it then awesome if you don't you don't have to read it just respect me opinion and walk away so let's just get started and I hope you enjoy
Chapter 1 welcome to South Park
"hello my names matt and I just moved to this lovely shitty mountain town in Colorado the reason oh my asshole of a father walked out on us when I was 5 and the bills piled up to the point of us moving but lucky for us the houses here are kind of cheap and it's not like my mother's poor oh no she graduated from Harvard and is an excellent doctor she can basically run the hospital in this town and my baby sister 6 months old barely says mama her name is Polly I love her and I would protect her from anyone even ninjas cause I have secret powers also I am 7 so yeah I mean last time I check I can have a fucking imagination also I swear a lot but that's beside the point the house is pretty big and it has stairs man I can wait to slide down them a lot maybe we can have pizza tonight or my favorite spaghetti man that sounds awesome"
Its Monday morning here in south park and I hope you're having an awesome day said the radio
MOM THE RADIOS TALKING I yelled
Oh honey just hit the off switch and he will shut up said mom
"moms are smart even though I know a lot already I can wait to go to school but I have to be alert day 1 is always tough on the new kid. I ran downstairs to the smell of waffles I ate them and ran out the door to the bus stop where no one was there"
Great I am alone I said
No you're not said a voice
Yeah were here said another
"2 kids showed up one with an orange jacket and a green hat and another with a…..i don't know if its purple or blue "I am color blind " with a red fluff on his hat ha I like the word fluff"
Hi my names Kyle and this is Stan said Kyle
Hi my names matt I said
Hi matt said Stan
"Wow day 1 and people are already friendly"
Not many go to this bus stop huh I asked
Oh no 2 more are coming said Kyle
KENNY JUST CAUSE YOU TALKED TO RATS DOESN'T MEAN YOU UNDERSTAND THEM yelled a voice
"Mumble"
"Then showed up a kid in an orange parka and a really fat kid who looked like he ate the original 2 kids that show up here"
Matt this is cartman and Kenny said Stan
Hey I said
Fuck you matt you are lame I bet you are afraid of nomes said cartman
Huh I said
"All of the sudden I started hyperventilating"
Oh no not now I said
Dude what's wrong asked Kyle
Panic attack and it's a big one I said
"I started shaking and freaking out I screamed for a paper bag and Kyle gave me one"
Ha ha hey look another tweak ha you so lame and stupid and…..
"I blacked out and next thing I knew cartman was on the ground crying"
Waahahahah I am going to tell my mom on you yelled cartman
"He ran home in tears"
Oh great now I am dead I said
Nice one dude said Stan
Huh I just made him cry now his mom will tell my mom and then I am dead oh shit I can't take it Ahhh I yelled
"Great round 2 of panic attacks lucky for me Kenny calmed me down….then a car hit him"
OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY yelled Stan pointing in the air
YOU BASTURD yelled Kyle
"I woke up and saw Kyle and Stan staring at me"
I am so sorry I said
Dude what was with that asked Kyle
I suffer from anxiety attacks AKA panic attacks then I black out and sometime go violent I have therapy every Tuesday and Thursday and sometimes Saturday but that day rock cause I get ice-cream I said
Dude that sounds awesome said Stan
No its not I hate it that's why my dad left I said
Dude you have no dad neither does cartman said Kyle
Ah shit your probably spoiled rotten 2 said Stan
Ha I wish my mom spoiled me I said
"The bus came and some mean lady yelled at us to sit down and shut up. The first thing I saw was a red headed girl she was pretty wait huh pretty I don't think girls are pretty….do I hmm"
Hi imp red who you are asked red
My lady I am sir matt I said in my head cause all I got out of my mouth was blsiudhfjish
Huh asked red
"Stan hit my back"
MATT I yelled
"Giggle" you funny matt said red
I am I said
You want to sit with me asked red
Uh…..
NO SHE HAS COODIES yelled Kyle
"Shit I heard of them they must of spread to South Park luckily they only last a week…or is that chicken pox hmmm I guess there the same thing"
Nahh you boys have the coodies said red
"Red and Kyle stuck there tongues out at each other and I sat in the back next to the window"
Thanks guys I said
No problem you cool right Stan…..Stan hello earth to Stan said Kyle
"I looked up and saw a black haired girl with a purple jacket and hat she was kind of pretty not as pretty as red the prettiest girl in the world well besides mom of course and she waved to me and Stan"
Who's that I asked?
Huh said Stan
That's Stans girl friend said Kyle
NO SHES NOT I DON'T LIKE GIRLS said Stan
Ha gay I said
Shut up matt said Stan
Dude I was kidding damn be chill I said
Be what said Kyle
What you don't have be chill up here I said
No what does that mean asked Stan?
Oh boy I said
"After explaining the history of being chilled out yo we reached the school I got to my new locker and was introduced to the class"
Ok students we have a new retard what's you dumb ass name said Mr. Garrison
Ass? I asked
Well you don't look like an ass to me said Mr. Garrison
Funny you look like one I said
"The class all laughed"
Ah a funny guy huh said Mr. Garrison
No I am sorry my name is matt and I came from Maryland I said
Ok well sit next to Stan over there and I will return after reflecting on my shitty life and probably won't show up again for at least 2 hours said Mr. Garrison
That was weird I said
Nah its Monday he always does this on Mondays said Stan
Ah ok I said
"Then it happened again I freaked out and knocked over my desk this time I could see what happened"
AHHHHH I screamed
Calm down dude said Stan
What's wrong with him asked Clyde
He's having a picnic attack said Kyle
What like potato salad and ham asked Craig
No panic like Tweek does every day except matt can't control his attacks said Stan
Ahhh so much pressure said Tweek
AH PRESSURE AHHHH I yelled
Damn said Craig
"Next thing I see is red holding my hand asking me to relax"
Its ok matt said red
"I started to calm down"
Thanks red you look nice I said
Aw thanks said red
"She then kissed me on the cheek and the boys panicked"
AHHH COOTIES RUN EVERYONE RUN yelled Kyle
"All the boys ran out of the room and the girls all laughed"
Boys are weird said Bebe
Yeah said Wendy
Well now I am infected so what now I asked
Nothing said red
Yeah your fine said Wendy
"I looked close in Wendy's face"
You are pretty I said
"Red then started to cry and ran to the corner"
What the hell matt you made red cry said Bebe
Huh I am sorry I mean your ugly I said
"That was a dumb thing to do cause then I got slapped"
Oh what do me do I am sorry red you're prettier then Wendy ok I said
Really said red
Uggh said Wendy
Look ether A I be nice to red or B she cries ok your both pretty I just think red prettier I said
Aww red and matt sitting in a tree kissing said the class of girls
"red and I blushed I liked her kissing me and I would love to do it again but not now and I can't tell the guys that even though Stan likes Wendy I think he says he don't like girls but I think he does"
I have an idea I said
What's that asked Wendy
"I am guessing Wendy is the leader because everyone looks to her"
How about we play a prank on the boys I said
Really said Wendy what do we do
"I whispered the plan to the girls and they all giggled. I then ran out of the classroom freaking out"
AHH I have been infected with a strand of kiss I said
"The boys looked scared"
What's that asked butters
It's when you haven't been in a ritual and a girl kisses you I said
What said Kyle?
Is it deadly asked Stan?
Of I don't do the ritual it will be and you guys need to witness it so then it will never happen to you I said
How do we do it asked Kyle?
Well 2 boys have to kiss in front of the girls I said
EWW KISS A BOY THAT'S WEIRDER THEN KISSING A GIRL yelled Clyde
Well 2 guys are going to have to take one for the team I said
Ok why don't you do it asked Craig?
Because I am infected I said
Well that sucks who is willing to kiss asked Kyle
Uggh I will do it said Craig
Ok who else I asked
Tweek everyone said at once
AHHH pressure said Tweek
"I almost lost it there 2 boys were going to kiss so that they don't get cooties this is ritch"
END OF CHAPTER
Well I hope you enjoyed this first chapter it's going to be fun being in south park what will happen to me will I die will I live will I become a monkey AND DO GIRLS REALLY HAVE COOTIES find out soon