A Day in the Life
How do elite shinobis handle day to day life? How do they decide what they want to wear, cook, eat, and spend time doing when they're absolutely bored and have no one to kill or save?
Chapter 1: Kakashi, Anko, Asuma, and Gai on their way to Konoha after a mission.
Waking Up
The peace of the early morning was astounding. The day was soft and warm, and the birds chirped happily. The dews that had collected on the leaves had not disappear, and if there were to be background music, it would be of a flute, playing a sweet melodious tune. However, Hatake Kakashi would never get to experience this, nor would Asuma or Gai, for they were still deep in their sleep, utterly defenseless. And so, taking advantage of their vulnerable state, four inconspicuous shinobis sneaked towards them, katanas in hand. One of them stood over the sleeping Kakashi, Katana poised to stab his throat and cut off his head, until—
Clang!
Something hard hit his head from the back and he went flying, over Kakashi and crashing into a nearby tree.
"Ha, bastard!" a vicious woman's voice teased. He looked up as soon as he had control of his head again, and saw a woman with dark hair facing his teammates with—he had to blink twice at this to make sure he was seeing things right—a metal ladle in her hands. Did she just send him flying with a piece of kitchen utensil?
Anko, with her dangerous iron ladle, gave her three foes a teasing smile. The three of them, looking amongst themselves, decided that Anko was more of a threat than the three jounins sleeping like a baby, and ran towards her. Chuckling evilly, Anko twisted out of the way and grabbed a small, iron frying pan from out of a bag near Asuma's leg with her other hand. When she was on her feet again, two of them came running at her, each with a katana drawn and aimed at her. She deflected each lunge of the sword with the ladle and the pan, which, unfortunately, put deep gashes in each. She frowned as she momentarily observed the damaged utensils. However, she could not mourn over them for long, as one of them swung a kick at her, which she quickly deflected with the ladle. The man stumbled backwards, lost his footing and fell on top of Gai, who, with his amazing reflexes, awoke while immediately performing an impressive headlock and throwing the man across the campsite into a tree several feet from him. Gai, despite his early reaction, seemed confused. He looked around wildly about, taking in the early morning scene. Asuma grumbled, but merely turned on his side. Hatake Kakashi did not stir at all.
Anko leapt up to avoid a kick from the both enemies, and did several back flips away from them. They threw a hail of shuriken at her which she easily dodged.
"Not fair," she grumbled to herself, "I haven't been able to arm myself properly." But she merely smiled. No matter—she just had to be creative. One of them was running at her now, his hands forming seals rapidly. Anko pursed her lips and swung the pan at him, which hit him squarely in the face and threw him backwards. There was a loud, uncomfortable clang with the collision, and blood sprayed out from his mouth. The man fell onto the ground, knocked out, only a few inches away from Asuma's face. At this, Asuma began to stir, and, very slowly, opened his eyes. He frowned at the sight of the bloodied face in front of him and let out a tired groan.
With only one man to go, Anko had the ladle still in her hands. She quickly sped behind him, her movement much too fast for his eyes, put the handle of the ladle horizontally on his throat and pulled on it. He gasped, struggled violently at her iron grip and ladle, his hands attacking Anko's grip on the ladle. Annoyed by this tactic, Anko slipped her left hand on the man's right temple and quickly pulled it towards her, and, with a clean crack, broke his neck. When his body went limp, she let go of him and dropped like a stone of the ground with a soft thud. She threw the ladle down at him, which, with some incredible luck, hit his forehead protector and bounced off and hit Asuma.
"Alright, alright I'm up!" Asuma snapped, quickly sitting up, "Shit…no need to attack me with a dam…spoon." He picked up the damaged ladle and stared at it for awhile before turning to Anko and yelling, "This is…aw…Anko, this is mine!"
Anko seemed surprise at this, but she merely shrugged.
He stood up, and upon seeing the bloody frying pan, picked it up immediately and observed it in horror, completely ignoring the dead man with the messed up face. He threw a nasty glare at the kunoichi, "Why in the world are you using my ladle and pan as weapons?!"
"Hey, they attacked us and I didn't have anything on me," she said defensively, "And…your ladle and pan was the first thing I saw."
"And you didn't have time to get weapons but you had time to get kitchen utensils from my bag?" asked Asuma, quirking an eyebrow.
"Your ladle was out from before, and I told you, your pan was the first thing I saw so I grabbed it."
"You're a ninja," he said through his teeth, "Use your jutsus."
"Too early for jutsus," she replied dismissively, "Besides, it was fun. Got to get creative in the fight and got my adrenaline pumping."
"How is clubbing them with a ladle and pan creative?"
Gai, who had now awoken up entirely, exclaimed, "We were attacked so dishonorably in the morning! Thank you, Anko, for protecting us and saving our lives!"
Both Asuma and Anko looked at Gai. Anko smirked, "Well, at least someone is grateful that I did essentially save your lives."
Asuma rolled his eyes, threw the ladle and pan onto the ground and fished his pockets for his pack of cigarettes.
"Who attacked us?" asked Gai, who was observing one of the bodies, "This one has no forehead protector."
"Grass nins," answered Asuma, lighting a cigarette, "The one that Anko so pleasantly threw in my face had a forehead protector."
"Hey, I saved your life," Anko snapped angrily, "When are you going to get that through your head—and, seriously that chain smoking habit of yours! You haven't even had breakfast yet! You're going to die from lung cancer."
"Anko, ninjas don't die from lung cancer," Asuma said wisely with a puff of smoke, "We don't live long enough for that to happen." Anko's eyes seemed to twitch at this.
Gai, unfazed by the ensuing argument, proceeded to dragging all the bodies and dumping them together at the foot of a tree.
Kakashi slept on. It was a not so unusual morning.
Next: Finding food and Trying to cook breakfast without a pan or ladle.