Disclaimer: Ownership is neither claimed nor implied to either the character/place names or the many song lyrics contained within this piece of fiction, all of those belong to the original owners.
A/N: In Memorium...
"Sure, we can do that," Puck agreed, talking into the phone that was balanced on his shoulder while feeding the dog and keeping a check that the cat wasn't getting herself comfortable somewhere she shouldn't be, ie, in the yet to be prepared crib. "Mmm, yeah, probably. I think Quinn and the baby should be ok to travel by then, mhm, yeah, no problem," he listened some more. "That's cool, I already booked some leave for my birthday so I know I won't be on duty for that weekend. Wow, you remember that? I didn't think you'd remember that. Yeah, no, it's cool. No, no problem, I'm sure Judy will be happy for us to stay with her, she loves us to visit. No problem, yes, of course I can think of something to sing, a few things actually. Yeah, we'll make sure we're there. Did you get everyone else on board?" he asked as he picked up the dishes and utensils, clearing the table and loading the dishwasher as he chatted. "Fine, no worries, talk to you soon," he said with a sigh then hung up. Puck took a moment and a deep breath. He looked around the kitchen in dismay, it was still in a bit of a shambles, but then again, he was a USAF staff sergeant, not celebrity chef Benjamin Sargent, and to be honest, Puck had never claimed to be a god in the kitchen, now in the bedroom, that was a different matter entirely. Quinn could attest to that. "Joshua?" Puck called, opening the door to the basement playroom. "Josh, come up here for a minute," he requested of the nine-year-old. Thundering footsteps followed Puck's call.
"S'up, dad?" Joshua Puckerman asked.
"Could you give me a hand to get this done, please?" Puck asked. "I want everything spot on before your nanas get here," he muttered and pulled a face.
"They're both coming?" Josh asked and smirked. "Together?" he added and giggled at the pained faces that his dad was pulling. Puck could manage 'the moms' one at a time, but both together, they scared the life out of him. "What about aunt Hannah? Is she still staying for a while?" Josh asked hopefully. Aunt Hannah was way fun, she told Josh all the things that his dad used to get up to when he was growing up and she always knew where to find the best ice cream. No matter where they moved to, no matter where his dad got stationed, aunt Hannah could always sniff out the best ice cream parlours. She said it was a gift.
"Maybe," Puck replied. "Aunt Hannah is waiting to find out if your mom wants some help for a couple of weeks, you know, once she gets out of the hospital and I'm back on duty," he explained to his oldest son. Puck's sister, Hannah, had arrived a couple of weeks ago, to help Quinn in the final part of her pregnancy. She was taking time out from the dead end job that she hated while trying to decide if her future lay in another direction, more of a childcare direction. "Ok, so you finish clearing the table, I'll get the dishwasher started, then we'll wipe down in here. Where's Ruby?" he asked suddenly, then swallowed a gulp of fear. Puck knew that silence and Ruby were never really a good thing. The last time that Puck had been left in sole charge of the five-year-old for any length of time, she'd shaved a patch of her own hair and the dog's, she'd shaved a stripe down the back of the cat and she'd also shaved the rabbit's little fluffy tail, all with Puck's 'manscaping' trimmer. Ruby was considering a career as a barber. Possibly. Or maybe a delinquent.
"I think she went upstairs to paint," Josh replied with the smug sureness that he was getting his annoying kid sister in trouble without the possibility of any blame attaching to himself.
"Oh crap," Puck sighed and ran up the stairs to check the damage. "Purple's not too bad," he said uncertainly, trying to convince himself and then wondered if he had enough time to get it put right before the moms descended. Puck looked at the paint daubed on the walls of the room that had yet to be decorated into Ruby's princess domain. "We could maybe work with this," he said to the strawberry blonde, curly haired tike who was scowling at her dad because he'd confiscated her paint brush. Puck wondered once again who Ruby reminded him of.
"Mommy lets me paint the walls," Ruby lied, scowling even harder.
"Mommy does not let you paint on the walls," Puck countered sternly, mentally kicking himself because he knew that Ruby was his exact duplicate. Not so much in looks, Ruby didn't really look much like Puck, except for her eyes, Ruby did have her daddy's velvety hazel eyes, but she was even more like him in the way that trouble seemed to gravitate towards her. Or she to it. Whatever. If there was trouble in the Puckerman household, Ruby was usually at the centre of it. "Mommy lets you paint on paper," Puck corrected the little girl who pouted and folded her arms across her chest. "Come on, Red, let's get you cleaned up, then we'll see what we can do to fix this," he sighed and picked the little girl up to carry her to the bathroom. "Josh, can you get that, please?" he called as first the doorbell then the phone rang.
"Dad, it's for you, it's aunt Rachel," Josh shouted up the stairs.
"Tell her I'm busy, I'll call her back," Puck shouted as he ran a bath for his purple spotted daughter.
"She says she's outside and can she come in," Josh replied from the bottom of the stairs.
"Yes, get the door," Puck called, relieved that another adult was here. "Rach, I'm up here," he shouted as he heard Rachel greet Josh.
"Hi," Rachel Berry cried as she bounced up to the top of the stairs. "Where are you? Josh said you were in the...oh my God, Quinn is going to flip," she whispered when she passed Ruby's room.
"Tell me about it," Puck sighed. "Every time she leaves me in charge," he muttered. "Leading the guys in my section into a hostile situation doesn't scare me half as much as the stuff that she can get up to in five minutes," he grumbled.
"I'll call Jimmy," Rachel announced and searched in her voluminous bag for her phone. "He can paint a set in an hour," she explained as she scrolled for the number. "I'm sure he can do something with this," she added confidently as she stepped into Ruby's bedroom. Rachel frowned as she looked at the damage to the walls, an idea sprung to mind, something she'd have killed for when she was a little girl. "Jimmy? Hi, it's Rachel, Rachel Berry, oh how kind, thank you," she said with a huge smile. "I wonder, could you do me a favour?" she asked, her whole body language, mannerisms and tone of voice changed, she became flirtatious, coy, definitely more like her teenaged self instead of a woman in the last throes of her twenties. Puck smiled as he listened from the bathroom. He could remember watching the same routine in the hallways and classrooms of WMHS when she was in love with Finn, when she was chasing Finn, and then after, when she'd allowed Finn to catch her. Finn had never quite known what had hit him. "You are an absolute star, there's no wonder I love you," Rachel exclaimed. "The address is..."
"He's coming here? From New York?" Puck asked, he couldn't believe that Rachel had worked some magic that fast. "You're a life saver," he sighed. "Oh, crap," he added as the doorbell rang again. "That must be the moms," he muttered and pulled a face. Puck felt himself turning back into the unreliable, near delinquent teenager he had been when he and Quinn had made their very first tentative steps into the life they now loved. "Josh?" he called down the stairs as he carried the towel wrapped Ruby back to her purple daubed bedroom. "Can you get that, please? It's probably your nanas," he added. "And it is. Stand by your beds," he whispered to Ruby as he heard first his own mother's voice then Quinn's mother's. "Yay for nanas," he mock cheered.
"Noah?" Judy Fabray called as she walked up the stairs, followed by Puck's mom, Ruth. "Hello? Hello," she called. "Oh, hi," Judy cried when she finally found Puck and Ruby. "Hello my little princess," she crooned to Ruby and gave her the mwah, mwah, mwah fish face kisses that all nanas seem to know how to do. "Oh dear," she added as she spotted the walls.
"Hi there, good journey?" Puck replied as he concentrated on helping Ruby to get dressed.
"Yes, there didn't seem to be much traffic," Ruth Puckerman replied. "Interesting decorating concept," she added, nodding her head towards the wall after greeting Rachel too. "I take it Quinn hasn't seen this yet?" she asked. "Where's Hannah?"
"You take it right," Puck sighed. Puck held Ruby's hand to walk down the stairs, to keep her from climbing the banister to slide down it. "Hannah's visiting with Quinn right now," he explained. Puck had stayed with Quinn at the hospital through the night and morning, then he'd come home in time for a leisurely lunch with Josh and Ruby while Hannah took over for him at the hospital.
"When can we go see them?" Judy asked excitedly, she was visibly fizzing with excitement.
"Well, we could go right now, but Rachel just called a guy she knows to come and fix Ruby's room," Puck replied. "Rach, I know you came to see Quinn and the baby, but would you mind staying here, see what your friend can do? Hopefully he can do something so that Quinn doesn't kill me when she comes home," he sighed. "Josh? What about you? Do you want to come with us?" he asked when Rachel agreed that she would stay to supervise the rectifying of Ruby's room, she'd call into the hospital and visit with Quinn later.
Josh shook his head, plonked himself down on the sofa and turned the TV on. "I've already seen him," he answered. "Seen one baby, you've seen them all," he added under his breath and pulled a face at Ruby.
"I want to stay with aunt Rachel," Ruby pouted, stamping her foot just a tiny bit.
"You're not staying, you're coming with me," Puck replied. "I'm not letting you out of my sight till your mom gets out of the hospital," he assured her. Ruby humphed and pouted even harder. She glared at Josh when he sniggered to himself and pulled faces at her.
"Hi," Puck said with a grin as he opened the door to Quinn's room. "Is he sleeping?" he asked as he bent to give her a kiss, then immediately turned to see the baby in the clear plastic crib beside Quinn's bed.
"Yes, finally," Quinn sighed tiredly and shifted carefully in her bed. "I am so ready to come home," she added tearfully. "Oh my God, you're here," she cried as she caught sight of her mother and mother-in-law. "Hi," she said as first Judy then Ruth kissed her then leaned over the crib to inspect the latest addition to the Puckerman clan, Puck stepped back and lifted Ruby up onto Quinn's bed for a 'mommy hug', minding her to be careful of mommy's tummy.
"Did you settle on a name for him yet? May I?" Judy asked then picked the stirring baby up out of the crib when Quinn nodded. "Oh, look at you, you are so beautiful," she whispered. "Look, he looks just like Joshua, don't you think?" she asked Ruth, showing the baby's face off.
"I think he looks like Beth," Ruth replied. "Josh too, but Beth more so," she added quickly, taking hold of the baby's tiny hand. "And still only Ruby with the red, curly hair," she grinned at her granddaughter. "It makes you special," she whispered loudly to the little girl and gave her a big wink. "You look so tired," she said to Quinn, giving her a sympathetic look.
"I feel tired," Quinn replied with a stifled laugh. "It was tough," she informed the other two ladies in the room, both of them were full of understanding and sympathy. "I'd rather have had a natural birth than a c-section," she sighed and winced as she moved a little too quickly. "No more though," she added and gave Puck the look, that look, the one that he had never been able to resist in fifteen years.
"No more," Puck agreed and looked at Ruby, at her curly hair, she sat beside Quinn and looked up at her dad, squinted a bit then shrugged. Puck looked back at Quinn and screwed his face up as he shook his head. Quinn understood the unspoken "don't ask". "Where's Hannah?" he asked, his sister did not appear to be anywhere in sight.
"She's just gone to get coffee," Quinn replied as the door opened and Hannah came back in. Hannah greeted the newcomers and went to get more coffee.
Ruth took a turn at holding the new baby. "So what's his name?" she asked, making faces at the sleepy little boy.
Puck looked at Quinn for confirmation. Quinn nodded. "Finlay Christopher Puckerman," Puck said with a sad but proud look on his face.
"Does Carole know?" Ruth asked, concerned for her friend who had never quite recovered from the loss of her only son, her only child. "Does Rachel?"
"Nope," Puck replied. "We haven't told them yet," he added. "Will called," he said suddenly to Quinn. "He asked if we could be in Lima next month, he wants to do a tribute, fund raiser thing, you know, for his birthday," he explained.
"Oh," Quinn breathed. What else could she say? Of course they'd be in Lima for that. Even if right at this very moment that felt like an impossible journey.
"Wow," Quinn exclaimed a few days later when she finally saw the scene painted on the wall in Ruby's bedroom. "That is so amazing," she whispered, inspecting the Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland style scene. Everywhere she looked she saw something new, something magical, creatures and characters peeking out from the undergrowth, hiding behind rocks and trees, it was an amazing piece of work. "Who did this? It's fabulous," she exclaimed, turning to look at Puck.
"Well, Rachel got a friend of hers to come and do some work," Puck started to explain then thought he better start at the beginning. "Red here thought it would be a good idea to paint on her walls instead of on paper and it was too hard to cover the purple with the cream that her room used to be so," he said, his hands gesturing towards the walls as he himself saw new things that he hadn't noticed before.
"Which friend of Rachel's?" Quinn asked, interested in her friend's life.
"Jimmy something or other, he works in theatre same as her, he's a set designer or something," Puck replied, grateful that Quinn wasn't pissed about the whole purple paint thing.
"Jimmy Harris?" Quinn asked, looking over her shoulder to Puck, her eyes seemed to light up with excitement.
"I think that was it," Puck nodded thoughtfully.
"I knew it," Quinn muttered, then almost screamed with excitement. "Did she get all flirty and stuff when he came?" she demanded and pulled her phone from her pocket. "Oh, just tell me who is the master romance detector of all time?" she demanded when her call was answered. "I told you something was going on with Rachel and that Jimmy guy," she insisted. "Oh yeah, she called him to come and fix up Ruby's room. And he came. From New York. Just for her. God, it's amazing," she sighed, looking round the walls again. Quinn described the scene to Mercedes. "I'll send you a picture, it's awesome," she breathed and ran a hand over the wall. "I hope you can, see you soon," she said as she finished her call.
"You need to explain that to me, I still don't get girl speak," Puck informed Quinn as he went to soothe the baby who had just started to cry.
"Well," Quinn said as she gingerly settled herself onto their huge comfortable bed, "remember when Rachel got that part in Burlesque a couple of years ago? When they did the Midwest tour?" she asked Puck and watched him nod and bring the baby to her for his dinner. "Time to eat," she muttered as she readied herself. "I feel like a dairy cow right now, but I miss this part when it's over," she sighed, going off on a tangent slightly as the baby latched on. "Anyway," she said, getting back on track, "they got this set designer and Rachel could never stop talking about him, like, every sentence and he's been with the company ever since, so every show they do, Jimmy is there for the sets and stuff and why would anyone drop what they're doing to drive four hours just to lend a hand? Right?" she asked.
"I wondered," Puck began uncertainly. "But why is it a problem?" he asked.
"Oh no, it's no problem," Quinn hurriedly corrected Puck. "No, it's a good thing, definitely a good thing, this guy is the first serious thing for Rachel since Finn and that is way too long for any girl to be without," she added knowledgeably. "Not that I think for one moment that she hasn't...yes, well," she stuttered to a stop as Ruby waltzed into the bedroom, twirling in her pink and purple tutu.
"Can the baby dance, mommy?" Ruby asked as she twirled and twirled. "He did when he was in your tummy, I felt him, you said he was dancing, can he dance with me?"
"Not yet, Ruby Tuesday," Quinn replied. "Come and give me a kiss," she instructed her daughter with a grin. Ruby climbed up onto the bed and crawled over. "What do you think of him?" she asked as they both watched the baby eat. "Think we can keep him?"
Ruby stroked his blonde head with a gentle hand. "He's ok," she announced after giving the question some serious consideration. "He can't boss me around, can he? He's only little, can I boss him around?" she asked, Ruby needed that bit clarifying, just to be sure.
Quinn didn't answer, she just smiled, hugged the little girl to her side and kissed her hair. "Did Beth call yet?" she asked Puck.
"She emailed, they're still in Portugal," Puck replied and scrolled through the menu on his phone to find the email to show to Quinn. "She says she'll come to visit when they get back to the US," he read out before he passed the phone over for Quinn to read it for herself.
"It's been an amazing opportunity for her, don't you think?" Quinn said for what was probably the thousandth time since the New York City Ballet Company had recruited Beth and taken her to Europe on tour.
"True," Puck agreed as he sat down beside Quinn and pulled Ruby onto his lap. "But I'll be glad when she's home, I'm sure Shelby will be too," he added. "What do you think Rubes? Think Beth will like Finlay?" he asked. Ruby shrugged. What was to like? He didn't do anything yet, except cry and poop.
"Hey," Quinn called with a smile to the doorway. "You coming for a hug too?" she asked Josh.
Josh pushed away from the door frame and walked around to the bottom of his parents' bed, he wasn't too big yet to think family hugs were lame. "I wish Beth was here too," he said quietly as he crawled up between his parents. Puck and Quinn looked at each other and agreed silently, they both knew by the look in the other's eyes that they wished for that very same thing.
Hannah watched covertly from the hall, watched her brother and his family and thought enviously of their closeness, their relationship. Hannah knew that Puck was deliberately very close to his kids, spent every minute that he could with them, she knew he was determined that he would not turn out like their own disappointment of a dad. And she was glad. Glad that the cycle of parental abandonment had been broken. Glad that Josh and Ruby knew how much he loved them, as did Beth, as would Finlay once he was old enough. Hannah knew her brother's kids were lucky to have him for their dad.
"Ready for the trip?" Puck asked five weeks later, the night before they were due to leave for Lima.
"It's a twelve hour trip on any given day," Quinn sighed, wondering why the hell Puck had agreed to the trip. "But with a month and a half old baby, it's going to take a lot longer than that," she added with a pout. No, she really wasn't ready for the trip. Not physically, not emotionally. How many years had it been since Finn had died? "I can't believe it's been eleven years," she said, reaching out for Puck, for him to hug her, comfort her.
"I know," Puck agreed and thought back to that dark time, back to the day when he had found Finn in the dorm room they shared, thought back to the fear, the helplessness he had felt when he hadn't been able to rouse his friend, the horror when he realised that Finn had been using much, much more than the occasional joint to take the edge off and then the relief that he himself had managed to turn his own life around and join the air force, relief that that action had set him on his current path, it had set him free. "I wonder sometimes what would have happened if Will hadn't called us all to get together before Sue disbanded the glee club. Remember that dick you brought from Yale?" he muttered into her hair, he couldn't help but smile a little at the memories.
"Oh my God, Biff MacKintosh," Quinn replied, embarrassed at the thought. "Mmm, he was a dick," she agreed and lifted her face for Puck to kiss her lips. "But at least that week brought us back together," she reminded Puck.
"It brought us much more than that," Puck teased. "Your mom always says she knows we got Josh that weekend, before you went back to Yale," he added with a snigger. Quinn slapped his chest lightly and scoffed, even though he was right, she'd only just managed to get through finals before she went into labour. "You know you've never been able to resist me," Puck teased, he wrapped his arms even further around Quinn, tucked her head under his chin, pushed his leg between hers, rocked the two of them together.
"Oh, right, because of your irresistible charm, right?" Quinn laughed back.
"No, because of my huge..." he whispered the end of his sentence directly into Quinn's ear, both of them giggled together, they rolled over in their bed a little till Puck was almost on top of Quinn. A millisecond before their lips joined together, a split second before Puck was about to get lucky for the first time in months, Finlay let out a wail from his next-to-the-bed crib. "Ahh, dammit, he knows, doesn't he?" Puck sighed and dropped onto his back as Quinn turned away to see what the baby needed. "Doc says go ahead, Finn says no way," he grumbled to himself. Quinn rolled her eyes as she comfort fed the baby to get him back to sleep.
"I am so tired," Quinn sighed as Puck tucked her up in his arms again once Finlay was finished. He spooned up behind her so that they could both see the baby in his crib beside the bed. "And tomorrow is going to be a long, long day," she added, then aimed a kiss at Puck over her shoulder. They both settled down for a good night's sleep...
"Welcome, welcome to you all," William Schuester, principal of William McKinley High School, said as he stood facing the audience in the auditorium at WHMS. "We have come here today, all of us, to celebrate life and love in the only way we know how," he said, speaking from the heart, "in music, in song and in dance." Will glanced around, saw familiar faces in the seats in front of the stage, he had personally invited many of the guests that were waiting for the performances. "Fourteen years ago, this guy became such a huge part of my life," Will explained, indicating the portrait of Finn. "He wasn't alone, he came with a bunch of friends and each and every one of them hold a special place in my heart. They were the first New Directions, the originals and almost all of them are here tonight to sing for you, to pay tribute to the one we lost, to their friend and mine, Mr Finn Hudson. Thank you," he said then backed away from the podium with his hand held out to welcome them all as the curtain rose.
"Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere," Rachel sang, reprising the performance New Directions had given to Mr Schue when he had been forced to disband the glee club when Sue Sylvester had been principal, back in the dark days when the arts had been looked upon as though they were black magic.
"Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit, he took the midnight train going anywhere," Kurt sang and joined hands with Rachel, both of them loved the sensation that rushed through them every time they performed on the stage at WMHS. It was a feeling like no other.
"Singer in a smokey room," Puck sang, he brought Quinn's hand up to his lips, their eyes connected, as always.
"The smell of wine and cheap perfume," Quinn added, her gaze locked with her husband's. "For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on and on," they sang together as Puck twirled Quinn, their hands joined above her head. The rest of the song had snippets sung by just about every member of the original New Directions and a couple of the second wave of New Directions. Marley took a part as did Unique and Jake. The audience applauded when the song finished.
Mr Schue took to the stage again, he pointed once again to the large picture on the easel that was at the edge of the stage. "The purpose of tonight's show is to raise money and also to raise awareness of drugs, of how they can affect our lives, even years after," he announced, his features schooled to keep the emotion tucked away inside. How could Mr Schue say to all these people that he had loved Finn Hudson like a son? No doubt they would have found it totally inappropriate, but it was true, Mr Schue had always felt close to Finn, and he missed him still. Every day. "Your performers tonight consist of some of Finn's closest friends, the people he hung with at school and after he graduated, the people he loved, the people he called family. Enjoy and be generous," he said and left the stage as the curtain rose once again.
Santana, Brittany, Mike and Jake opened the show with Valerie, giving a full on song and dance performance. It was amazing and set the bar for the rest of the evening. Mercedes and Unique performed River Deep, Mountain High to tumultuous applause, everyone could hear exactly why both of them had earned recording contracts. One by one, the people who had been important to Finn laid their hearts bare on the stage, in front of the audience, in memory of their friend, their song choices were mostly from lessons and competitions that Finn had been involved in. Rachel's choice brought the house down.
Rachel stood, shifting nervously in the single spotlight, the rest of the stage was in absolute darkness. She cast her mind back a thousand years, a hundred lifetimes, back to before it all started, back to before Finn, before Finchel, when it didn't hurt to breathe, when all was well with the world. Rachel took a calming breath and began to sing her audition piece, the first thing that she had ever, ever sung for Mr Schue, she tried to smile through the tears that threatened to pour.
"On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me," she sang, and as always on this stage, felt Finn's presence beside her, surrounding her, warming her, loving her. At the end of Rachel's performance the audience went absolutely wild, the outpouring of love and emotion had been so real to them, so obvious, they knew they had just witnessed something incredibly special. And they felt blessed, exceptionally blessed.
"Our next performer was Finn's best friend, Puck," Mr Schue announced once the applause for Rachel had died down, "better known these days as Staff Sergeant Noah Puckerman," he added with a teasing glance at Puck. "Puck and Finn had some pretty serious history that went back, way, way back," he explained.
Puck quietly thanked Mr Schue as he walked on stage with his guitar. He spoke to the audience for a few moments while the band set up behind him and the huge screen lowered for the slide show. "Thank you," Puck said to the masses looking at him then began his explanation. "I first met Finn Hudson on September 17th, 1994," he said with a smile. "The day we were born," he added. "He was about six hours older than me and he never, ever let me forget it. We had our share of fights and fall outs, we were friends forever and I loved him like a brother, I always knew I could count on him, even after I let him down time and time again, even after I kind of stole his girl. We used to talk all the time about getting out of here, out of Lima, out of Ohio, I guess, in a way, we both made it," he finished as he looked at the band, nodded for them to start and to the guy in the control box for the slide show to start showing the pictures, the videos that documented Finn's life, from their births to the end. Puck began the song, the intro quite mournful, melancholy, it said everything that Puck wanted to but couldn't.
"How the time passed away?
All the trouble that we gave
And all those days we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanish just the same
Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end," Puck glanced back at the pictures as he sang the words that described his and Finn's lives.
"Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone
Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end
We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would end up here the way we are
Yeah, we knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
Never knew how
Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end
End," Puck's voice almost broke as he hit the last note. He knew that he couldn't look at the audience yet, he knew that they would see everything on his face, the fear, the guilt, the shame, and he couldn't bear that. Puck gulped, swallowed hard past the lump in his throat and glanced behind him, saw the huge picture of himself and Finn, blowing out their birthday candles together, their fifth birthday by the looks of things. "I love you, man, happy birthday," he whispered to the image. The audience erupted. They had recognised, just as they had when Rachel had performed, the genuine love and emotion that these people had for their fallen friend. The pictures charting Finn's life from birth onwards, many of them including Puck, especially the early ones when they were inseparable, many of them with the glee club, with Rachel, had made the song even more poignant.
Josh blinked away a tear and shuffled uncomfortably in his seat next to his nana Ruth as he clapped his dad's performance. "He's good isn't he?" Ruth whispered to her grandson. Josh sniffed and nodded, he'd never really heard his dad sing like that before, not properly, not on stage with a band and a sound system. Sure, his dad was always fooling around with his guitar and singing at home, making up stupid songs and stuff and he was always singing along to the radio or whatever CD was on in his car - usually Daughtry - but this was like real singing, proper singing, rock star singing. "You would have liked Finn," Ruth said thoughtfully. "You're a lot like him. In a good way," she said, hastening to add the positives when she realised that Josh could have taken that the wrong way.
"How? He died long before I was born," Josh asked, a puzzled look across his face.
"I don't know how," Ruth admitted, "I just know that from the very, very first time I picked you up, on the day you were born, I just felt like I'd met you before," she told him. "Go, your mom is waving for you to go on with everyone," she said, pointing to where Quinn stood with Ruby and Finlay, motioning for Josh to join her.
"And now the families of New Directions," Mr Schue announced with a smile, holding his hand out to the side to welcome people. "Mike and Tina Chang with their children, Michael and Laura," he said and clapped as Mike and Tina walked on stage with their kids. "Sam and Jennifer Evans with Maisie," he called as he smiled and clapped. "Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson and their children, Tracey and Hepburn," he applauded as he spoke.
"And thank God you did not donate the eggs," Puck murmured to Quinn, making her giggle as they waited their turn.
Mr Schue went on and on, introducing family after family until finally, only Rachel and the Puckermans remained. "Noah and Quinn Puckerman with their children, Joshua, Ruby and baby Finlay," Mr Schue announced as Puck and Quinn walked on. "And finally," he said, glancing to the wings.
"Now I know you haven't forgotten me," a young girl's teasing voice called from the other side of the stage, interrupting Mr Schue's last introduction. Puck and Quinn turned with a snap of their heads. "I shall simply have to announce myself," she said with a grin as she walked confidently on to join them. "Beth Corcoran," she said, "big sister of Josh, Red and Finn," she added with a wink at her siblings just before she was engulfed in a huge family hug.
"Hey, baby, when did you get here?" Puck asked as he hugged Beth close. "Where's your mom?"
"And finally," Mr Schue repeated, "Rachel Berry and her mom, Shelby Corcoran," he called out as he applauded them all. Rachel acknowledged Mr Schue as she strode with him towards the centre of the stage, to the podium.
"Hey," Shelby whispered as she greeted Quinn with a hug, kissing her cheek. "Wow, look at this little dude, how old is he now?" she asked.
"Six weeks," Quinn whispered and passed the baby over to Shelby. "He's the one who looks most like Beth," she added, stoking her son's blonde head. "Ruby," Quinn gasped just before the little girl disappeared amongst the legs. "Come hold my hand," she suggested, Ruby reluctantly did so. Puck stood by with one arm along Josh's shoulders, the other across Beth's.
"She still looks like you," Shelby commented to Quinn as she watched her daughter chat to and tease her younger brother. "She's been chosen for the lead in the junior corp Christmas production," she murmured as she made faces at the baby.
"That's amazing," Quinn replied with pride and excitement.
"You know, if she went to a regular school, she'd probably be head cheerleader by now," Shelby said with a grin at Quinn. "And what's going on with Rachel and this Jimmy guy?" she asked quietly as Rachel chatted with Beth, Puck and Josh.
"I don't know, but it seems to be something good," Quinn replied and took the baby back from Shelby. Mr Schue stepped off stage for a second then came back on with a guitar and his own ukelele. Quinn nudged Puck. "Think you can still remember that one?" she asked with a smile as Mr Schue approached them with the guitar held out.
"Over the Rainbow?" Puck asked, Mr Schue nodded. Mike and Jake quickly jogged off and then back on stage with a couple of stools. Puck and Mr Schue made themselves comfortable and took a couple of seconds to tune their instruments.
"This is one that Puck and I sang together to celebrate, commemorate, the end of our first year in glee," Mr Schue explained. "When you're ready," he whispered to Puck. Puck nodded and began playing the song along with Mr Schue.
"Somewhere, over the rainbow," Mr Schue sang, and for a moment it seemed just like yesterday, not fourteen years since they'd last sung this one. Puck joined in with the harmonies as he had all those years ago. The audience applauded when the song was finished.
Rachel rushed over to whisper something to Puck. He grinned and nodded. Rachel gave Jake a thumbs up, he went to the band and had a quick word. As soon as she saw the thumbs up from the band Rachel got herself in place. "Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor," she sang with a smile at Puck. The song was another that was well received and they hadn't even realized that the stage had cleared until Puck turned around and saw that he and Rachel were alone. He leaned over to Rachel and suggested another song choice, one that was so very, very poignant for her. Rachel quickly agreed and they walked over to the piano without making any announcement to the audience, to anyone. Brad stood to give the piano over to Puck. Rachel shared the stool with him, she sat nearest to the audience, though her eyes were firmly fixed on the portrait of Finn.
"How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I can," she sang, her voice so beautiful and clear. Puck knew that Rachel was trembling a little as she sang, she wasn't quite as in control as she appeared. The audience stood to applaud as Rachel reached the last note. Puck hugged her tight just before she broke down in tears. "We Are Young to finish?" she whispered to Puck, he nodded then shrugged. "Suck it up buttercup, the show must go on," she insisted then drew in a deep, shuddering breath and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"And the Puckerman brothers," Mr Schue called, clapping as he walked on stage with Jake, he motioned for Puck to stay at the piano. Jake winked at Puck as he approached with one of the stools.
"Which one?" Puck whispered to Jake as he got settled next to the piano facing the audience.
"Let Me Love You," Jake whispered back. Puck looked puzzled for a second. "The Ne-Yo one," he clarified.
"The one you sang to Marley at your wedding?" Puck asked, just to make sure.
"That's the one," Jake nodded. They had pretty much done the same thing, Puck had played the piano and Jake had sung to his new bride and brought a tear to every single female eye in the room. And quite a few male eyes if the truth was told.
"Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel
Had no example of a love that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had?
If you let me, I can help you out with all of that
Let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Let me love you
I know your trouble
Don't be afraid, girl let me help
Let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Let me love you
A heart of numbness gets brought to life
I'll take you there," he sang, the simplicity of the song once again bringing tears to the eyes of the audience. And his wife, he was sure. And probably his sister-in-law too, if he knew Quinn Puckerman.
"Did they decide on the last number?" Puck asked, realising that he had been on stage for quite a while, he seemed to have dominated the last few numbers.
"We Are Young," Jake replied. "Blaine, Sam, Mercedes, Santana and Tina are taking the leads, we'll just add in where we need to," he whispered as everyone else came back out on stage.
"Give me a second, I, I need to get my story straight
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
My lover he's waiting for me just across the bar
My seat's been taken by some sunglasses asking bout a scar, and," Mercedes sang.
"I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you're trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies, you know
I'm trying hard to take it back," Blaine sang as he swung Mercedes' hand between them.
"So if by the time the bar closes," Sam sang
"And you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home," Sam and Tina sang together.
"Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun," everyone sang together.
"Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun," all of the girls sang, all of them gathering on one side of the stage.
"Now I know that I'm not all that you got
I guess that I
I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart," Santana sang as she had when they had done this song together, straight after Sectionals in their senior year.
"But our friends are back
So let's raise a cup
'Cause I found someone to carry me home," Tina sang.
"Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun," they all sang together, mingling with each other. Puck had found Quinn again and held her hand, Rachel held his other, Kurt held Rachel's other hand.
"Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight
Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight," the girls sang.
"The world is on my side
I have no reason to run
So will someone come and carry me home tonight," all the guys sang, Puck winked at Quinn, she poked her tongue out at him.
"The angels never arrived
But I can hear the choir
So will someone come and carry me home," Santana sang.
"Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun," Tina sang.
"We are young, yeah," Mercedes sang.
"Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun," the whole group sang.
"So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home tonight," Blaine and Mercedes sang to complete the song. At the end, the whole group of them stood in a line across the stage and took a bow. Before the curtain fell, they all turned to their left to applaud Mr Schue as he stood proudly beside the portrait of Finn.
"Thank you," Mr Schue mouthed to all of his ex-students, his friends. "Thank you," he repeated and applauded them too.
Carole Hudson-Hummel sat in the front row next to her husband, Burt. She had gripped his hand throughout the entire performance. She was so proud that her son had inspired such friendship and camaraderie in these people that had sustained over ten years since his untimely demise. Carole looked at the picture of her son and felt the dark stain of shame that coloured her every time she remembered how he died, she wished that he'd had the inner strength to overcome the same demons that had devoured his father, she wished that he had not succumbed to the same fate.
"Carole, if you will," Mr Schue said quietly and held a hand out towards her to encourage her to join him on stage. Once she was there Mr Schue continued. "The bean counters have added up tonight's donations, box office, program sales and so on," he explained before reading the rest of the information on the paper he held. "Including the fundraising that we did all through the summer break," he said, sounding very pleased, "I am very proud to announce that the Finn Hudson Foundation will tonight receive a check for the sum of twenty eight thousand dollars," he cried to the cheers of the people on stage around him and the audience in front of him.
"Oh my God," Carole breathed. "That is huge, thank you so much, we can do so much with that. Twenty eight thousand, God, that will get ten people through rehab, it will fund our after school projects for this full year, oh," she cried as she hugged Mr Schue tight. "I can't thank you enough," she whispered into his ear as he hugged her back. "That you still do this for us, for Finn," she said before her voice broke.
"I loved him," Mr Schue replied with a slight shrug. "He was my student, but he was also my friend and I just wish I could have done something when he was alive, I wish I'd seen the truth when he was alive, maybe then we wouldn't be standing here," he added sadly.
"I think we would always have come to this point," Carole admitted. "I think he was just in a pattern of self destruct that he hid very well, right until the very end. And when Puck tried to tell me, tried to get me to help, I wasn't ready to hear that I'd failed," she sniffed. "But he knew we loved him, he knew we all loved him, it's just sad that he didn't love himself enough." Carole sucked in a breath as she felt something pass over her, caught the faintest whiff of biofreeze and Drakka Noir. "I think he's ready to be forgiven," she suddenly realised and felt herself engulfed in a hug. "I love you, Finn, I always will," she silently told her son as she gazed at the picture. Whether it was her imagination or not, Carole could swear she saw him give a tiny, tiny nod.
Finn took one more pass over his family and friends, saw that they were all doing fabulously, saw that they were all moving on with their lives, exactly as they should. All except Rachel. Finn paused and wrapped himself around her. "Please, Rachel, for me, let Jimmy love you, let yourself love him, he's right for you," he whispered into her ear.
Rachel shivered, she'd suddenly felt a chill as though something had been wrapped around her and then disappeared. "Jimmy asked me to marry him," she whispered to Kurt.
"What did you say?" Kurt asked out of the corner of his mouth.
"I didn't answer yet," Rachel admitted. "But I think I'm ready now," she said with a smile.
"Congratulations," Kurt whispered. "Can I be your man of honour?" he teased.
"Absolutely, who else would I ask?" Rachel replied with a giggle. Finn breathed a sigh of relief. That's what he was waiting for, that's what had kept him from leaving, he couldn't leave Rachel on her own. Now he knew that she wouldn't be alone.
"When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love," Finn sang, even as he watched everyone around him, watched them interact with each other, watched them living their lives.
"Finn?" Christopher Hudson said from the side of the stage.
"Yes, dad?" Finn said without looking over, his eyes still drinking in every part of Rachel's face, her mere presence.
"It's time to go," Christopher advised and stepped towards his son. Both Finn and his dad stopped in front of Carole, neither could pass up the opportunity to touch her one last time, they each laid a hand on her shoulder. Carole felt it and sighed with a secret inner joy, a happiness that she couldn't describe. Finn bent and kissed his mom's cheek. "I will always love you Carole," Christopher told her, "and I promise, I will look after him," he added before dipping his head to kiss her other cheek.
"I know you will," Carole whispered almost silently, "I love you too, both of you."