Ah, hello there reader! I have to warn you, I am a very crazy, perverted person and must AXEW not to flame my stories. If you do flame, I will roast you alive over them with no remorse.~

Constructive criticism, however, is quite welcome. Encouraged actually, so please... Read and Review. And don't forget to RECYCLE!

Ah, hello there. My name is Eric, But people generally call me the "Wotter boy". Why you may ask? Well, you'll just have to find out!

"Eric! Get up! You're late!"

Oops, looks like I slept in again! I have to go! Like... Now!

I race to get my clothes on, throwing on my underwear, baggy jeans and a cyan jacket. In my rush, my overgrown teardrop-like tail knocked over a bottle of India Ink, causing it to spill all over the carpet. Well... Fuck.

If you've ever spilled India Ink on something like your shirt, you should know by now that its almost impossible to get the stain out. Thank arceus I shed my fur, I've spilled said dark liquid on myself a number of times, all in which I freak out.

I quickly run into my bathroom and look into the mirror. Yup, that's me all right. Light blue bed hair, some black kitten-like ears, and some flipper feet. Oh, and don't forget that black tail and my amber eyes! Sometimes people say they can see my eyes in the night, so I'm kind of questioning if I could be a cross between a human and a dewott... Or something else. Hmm...

I thrust my right hand into the sink and turned it on, allowing the water to flow all over my paw. When it was thoroughly soaked I turned the contraption off and started to flatten my bad hairdo. Stupid bed hair.

Next I started to brush my teeth, picking up my tooth brush and spreading that sinister tasting paste onto it. Then I jabbed it into my mouth and brushed as fast as I could. Looking back at the mirror, I looked like I was deep throating a toothbrush... Wait, where the hell did that thought come from!?

I quickly spat out into the sink, washed the dirty brush, and shoved it back into its drawer. I then picked up two shells from the counter and hurried downstairs into the kitchen, only to run straight out the door with no thoughts about breakfast whatsoever.

I thought that maybe today I would be less clumsy than usual, especially since I was trying not to make a fool of myself. I changed my mind after I tripped over a piece of GOD DAMN GRAVEL and face planted into the ground. I threw a fit of agony and got back up, only to fall over again on another piece of satanic rock. Seriously, today is rough, and it hasn't even been an hour since I've woken up! Furthermore, I think I forgot to pack my cheese. Yup, definitely missing my cheese.

What cheese you may ask? Well, my family is weird so as a family heirloom, we pass down an a thousand-year old block of swiss cheese. Sheesh, I can only imagine the wonders it could unleash on your unsuspecting stomach! Its terrifying!

Back on the subject of where I am going. Let me explain, I have just turned ten, which means I am able to get one of three pocket monsters from Professor Juniper. Of course, I had to be late, so I am scrambling to the lab so she doesn't flip. You see, Juniper has a case of MAJOR BIPOLAR DISORDER, and if I piss her off, she could literally go on a rampage around town. Don't want angry scientists tearing down houses, do we? Reminds me of Princess Peach in those Mario games.

I finally manage to get off the ground and get back to walking, until that mentally insane shaymin decides to fly straight into my face, scream something about cookies, and fly away. I sat there, pondering, and then realized I was just wasting more time! I scrambled to the lab, which was decorated in, might I say, vibrant reds and deep greens. I think there was some blues and yellows in there are well. It looked like a giant child splattered paint all over a canvas, but then he or she splattered every color they had on this one spot on the canvas. Now that I come to think of it, the child could have been a hermaphrodite. Hmm.

As I walked up the steps of the quite colorful lab, I noticed the pink door and opened it, stepping into the lab. The interior of the lab was actually quite bland compared to the outside. White walls and grey floors really, nothing exciting. But standing in the middle was a middle-aged professor, her feet tapping on the floor and her face... Her face was scrunched up in a way that said "Just don't fuck with me today". I smiled sheepishly, almost nervously and greeted her in the most informal fashion I could. "It's quite a good day out, isn't it professor?" I said in the most casual sounding voice I could muster, trying to mask my now growing nervousness.

"You're late," the professor responded, rancor practically woven into her speech, kind of like a quilt. "Yeah, um... I'm sorry about that professor... You see-" I began, "No excuses Eric. When you're late, you're late. By the way, it looks like you got hit by sixteen garbage trucks, eaten up by a haxorus, which then spat you out in its attempt to stomach your inexcusable lateness." "Actually, I tripped over some gravel at least five times and got hit in the face by that crazy shaymin. No garbage truck or haxorus, though that would be much more exciting," I laughed.

"Anyways, let's get you a Pokémon, shall we? After all, you went through all that trouble to get here, so it would be a waste of time if I were to just tell you to go home and catch your own," she stated, seemingly still annoyed by my late appearance in the lab. "Eheheh, right..."

The professor led me over to an elaborate cherry table, on which three marble-sized red and white spheres rested. "Well... Which will it be, Eric?"