You're Just Like Your Father

...

"Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back."

-Mitch Albom

...

I was getting a lot of headaches recently and I didn't know why. Almost every day they were siccing themselves on me. I did know what had started it. I'd hit my head against the table near the desk when I'd woken up a week or so ago and had them since, so maybe that'd been it.

"Are you okay?"

I waved Aoko off. "Getting headaches isn't that strange after an injury. It's not like I hit my head that hard. I don't have a concussion or anything." I did have a good bruise to show for it though.

I'd also been dreaming about dad a lot lately.

There wasn't much I remembered about the show that night. I'd been there though, and there'd been a large fire that seemed to have started backstage after dad hadn't come back out. From what Jii-chan had said, everyone had been able to evacuate but I couldn't remember what I'd been doing. Mom had gotten the call later and picked me up but even those memories were faint.

I really shouldn't be dreaming about it. There wasn't anything to remember and not a lot of it had been about dad anyway. It was usually just me watching myself from an out-of-body experience. I'd either be sitting in one of the front aisles before the show started or I'd have memories of the smoke.

All in all, they were weird dreams.

"I still think you should go see a doctor if you keep having them." Aoko huffed at my side. I didn't know why she was so upset about it. I wasn't bleeding to death and I'd definitely had worse.

"If I keep having them next week, fine. I'll go see a doctor," I agreed, only to keep her content. I didn't have one now and we were on our way back home from school. I'd be getting to bed early because the day after next I had to be ready to get an emerald bracelet.

"To make you feel better, how about we go out after school tomorrow? It's only a half-day so I'm sure some lunch somewhere would be great."

"Don't you feel like cooking?" I joked. Half joked. She'd cook anyway for her dad, or maybe she'd get him a meal on the way home.

"Baka," she said as she nudged me with the arm holding her bag. "Dad won't be home and I don't think he wants me there alone with you. You are a guy you know."

"I am? I haven't checked lately. Thanks for the update."

She laughed and it made me smile. Aoko was so cute when she wanted to be. "Back on topic though, lunch sounds great. That is, as soon as we get rid of our stalker."

Aoko turned serious after that and looked over her shoulder where Hakuba-kun was not-so-subtly tailing us. "I think he just wants to talk to us. I don't know why he hasn't. Maybe he's just shy."

I didn't think that was the case. Hakuba didn't seem the shy type of person. Ever. Either in school or out he was always very outspoken. Too outspoken. Sometimes I'd like to just tape his mouth shut. I'm not that mean though. I knew he had to be following me because of the heist or something, and was getting desperate for proof.

"Maybe," I said though, just to answer her. Changing the conversation, "Since I'm still walking home with you now, think I can grab a snack before I head home?" Aoko, for some reason, always had cookies or a bag of chips lying around the house to be picked at.

She laughed quietly. I liked Aoko's laugh. "Sure, but only if you promise to go with me next week. The department store near the mall is having a small fair and I wanted to check it out."

"Sure." I could hopefully keep whatever day she wanted me free.

We parted ways after I dropped her off, me with half a bag of cookies that were mostly gone by the time I reached my house. Not five minutes after I got in and took off my coat, the doorbell rang. I was kind of surprised to hear Hakuba-kun's voice when my mom answered it.

"Can I speak with you?"

Even that way-too-British lilt irked me in a way I couldn't explain. Of course my mom agreed and of course that meant I went into the kitchen to peer around the corner and see if I could tell what they were talking about.

"I came here to talk about your husband. I heard that he'd died and I've read up on the incident quite thoroughly. However, there are some facts that I'm afraid I can't overlook, which have been bothering me."

I heard the sound of teacups so mom must have been in here just before me to get everything all set for a guest already. I thought on that instead of reacting to the way the conversation went. The fact that I'd been dreaming about this lately myself left me interested.

"I wasn't there but I'll answer any questions you have that I can."

"I'd be grateful of that." There was the sound of flipping paper and I knew if I'd looked I'd see the smug detective with his notebook out and probably a million things written down. "I have most of the facts and I know you weren't personally there. I've already talked to the man that was, who'd been helping your husband in his show and had been able to escape. I'd like to know about Kuroba Kaito though. He was there as well, so I've been told."

I didn't hear a verbal answer so she must have nodded. "He and Jii-san, my husband's assistant, were both there. I usually went with Toichi to shows as well but Nakamori-kun, Aoko-chan's father, had needed someone to come over and watch her quickly after he'd been called in. I didn't make it back to the show until after everything happened."

There was the sound of notes being written down. I didn't remember any of that, though I had been told mom and Aoko weren't there, so that would explain why.

"I'll talk to him later as well, though I feel he was off on an unrelated case. So when you returned, can you tell me what happened?"

"I had Aoko-chan so of course I couldn't run in. The place was on fire and there were people everywhere so I was sure Toichi and Kaito were safe. With the crowd and the police though it made it impossible for me to find them. I looked for hours, keeping Aoko-chan with me. I couldn't tell you who I passed or who I spoke to, since I became worried after the first few hours."

"You never found the other two?"

Again, it must have been a non-verbal answer since there was a pause. "I received a phone call from Jii-san later that Kaito had been hurt slightly in the confusion and was at the hospital with a minor concussion and some minor burns near his back. I… I never found Toichi."

"I heard from reports that his body was never found in the aftermath of the fire. I would hazard a guess that he should have made it out in time."

"I don't know. I would have thought so too. Jii-san had Kaito so there shouldn't have been anything keeping him there. I know if he'd been able to get away, he would have contacted me though. The fire was bad. I heard the whole building burned. I don't hold it against them if the clean up crew had made any mistakes."

Something clicked. It hurt. I had to lean against the wall in the kitchen. Mom and I never talked about this kind of thing but… I remembered the fire. It was there. I was in it. I was near the stage. Something hurt. It hurt bad and had my heart racing but everything else was black and the memories were cut off and I was staring at the kitchen, short of breath and trying to catch it before I caught anyone's attention.

Something had happened. I'd seen something. What had I seen? It was almost there, almost within my reach, but I'd pushed it away. Why?

I calmed down, turning and leaning my head against the wall where it was cooler, feeling sweat on my face. The other two were still talking but at this point I wasn't trying to listen. I was by the stage… Had I seen Snake? Had I seen him kill my dad?

I swallowed, getting a drink of water and letting them talk. I could ask mom later what they talked about if I really wanted to know. I rested back where I'd been before, to see if I could catch anything else, making sure I was sitting this time with my back to the wall.

"He wasn't hurt that badly. The doctors said it was just a concussion, likely from having fallen or having been pushed in the panic. He was in the front of the hall so he hadn't been stepped on or broken anything, thank goodness. He'd just had to wear a bandage for a while and he'd had to cut his hair some, where it had been burned, since he'd needed three or four stitches and the area had to be clean."

"Was that the only injury he had?"

"No… he had some memory loss. The doctors said he was young and, since it seemed it was only selective, he could still function. The day of and the days around the fire blurred so much for him that he couldn't hold on to them."

"Do you know if he ever regained those memories?"

"I don't know. I used to speak to him about it but every now and then he'd just go quiet and look up at me like he was about to cry. I didn't want to keep reminding him of how he lost his father, so eventually I stopped talking about it."

"Do you know if it affected any other memories? Any that had nothing to do with that day?"

"I'm not sure. He was so young at the time that I didn't think he should be able to remember things that happened long before that. He remembered Aoko-chan, and her father, so that worked out well. She helped him recover a lot. He was so… withdrawn afterwards that I hadn't been sure what to do."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted to ask. And Kuroba-kun, I know you have to be listening. I picked today to come over because you were both home for once. I'd like to speak to you too."

I sighed and got up, still feeling a little shaky but in no way as bad off as I had been minutes before. "Fine, fine."

I entered the main room where Hakuba-kun was sitting on the couch and mom on a chair. I took the other side of the couch and leaned back. "If you're going to ask me about those memories though, there aren't many. I remember the fire, kind of, but it's not very clear. I don't remember Jii-chan at all."

"I didn't come to ask you about that. I hadn't expected you to remember those things." I watched Hakuba-kun turn to me and, just for a second, I saw something close to panic in his eyes. It made me frown and sit straighter, even as he hid it behind a calm breath and relaxed features. "I was able to talk to someone who had been backstage that day, and it has left me with more than a few questions."

"Okay… well I don't think I was backstage at all, so I can't help you there."

"I think I should start over at the beginning." Hakuba re-situated himself so he was facing me more than he was facing mom. "Kid hasn't been the only one who has caught my interest. Anything with a lot of mystery surrounding it that has come to my attention has drawn me in. I know Kaitou Kid but, putting that aside, say it was in a different circumstance if you wish, have you come into contact with Conan-kun? He's a little boy and I'm sure even if you haven't seen him in person you've read about him in the paper or have seen him on the television."

I nodded. A lot of people knew about Tantei-kun at this point, and he was giving me an out, so why not?

"I can tell, at least from the part of me that will allow myself to look at facts I don't understand and come to impossible conclusions, the set of circumstances he has found himself in. As even a separate entity, are you aware of them as well? Your own detective skills are impressive, and I've worded it well enough you should be able to answer without feeling cornered. I am not here do to that. You can check me as well. I have no recording equipment whatsoever. The only thing I currently have on me is my watch and my wallet."

Hakuba didn't even come out and say what he was asking me. I wasn't sure if I should answer still. I'd never told anyone about the mini-detective, and he hadn't told anyone about me. It felt like breaking the rules if I did. Hakuba-kun apparently had his own ideas as well though, and it wasn't like mine weren't my own weren't ideas too. He'd never admitted it.

"Yeah, I guess I do know the trouble he's gotten himself into."

"Thank you. I just wanted to be aware if I'd be getting called a loon myself and getting thrown out of here. Now for my questions to you, and they're pretty important. Your mother said you'd been exposed to the fire for a while. It had apparently burned some of your hair and clothes, though it had been put out quickly and you were not burned as you were rescued. You came away then with only a head injury and were low enough to have not been exposed to the smoke too terribly. All in all, you were healthy. What I would like to know is what happened after. Anything. What is the first thing you recall?"

That was asking me to go back pretty far. My memories, as mom had said, were very foggy back then. I had a flash of darkness, of smoke, and then that memory was gone too and my heart rate had gone up again. "Just a lot of smoke."

"No. No, you're misunderstanding me. Not about the fire. After that day, what do you remember, what did you feel? It could be towards anything. The mundane occurrences in our life often have the answers."

"You expect me to remember what happened after that day? I don't know. Normal stuff? I can't remember that far back how I felt and what I did that was normal. That's like asking me what I did last month on a specific date after school."

Hakuba took in and let out a breath. I saw his hand shake. I wasn't sure if I'd imagined it or not when he sat forward again. "I have something to tell you both. Something neither of you may believe, as I can't find it in myself to believe it either. I heard this story from a drunk, shaken up man, who currently finds his time to be spent in bars and the licensing company he works at. In the past though, he used to be an assassin, a gun for hire if you will. That is the important part."

"Great. So you're out there talking to killers."

"Not killers. He was a C.I. He'd mostly been working in drugs. When he found out someone had wanted him for more than intimidation and likely theft, he left. He of course never came forward to the police about this and I have no proof myself other than his word, but I think you'll find what he had to say as interesting as I did. I will tell you the story as it was told to me, so please, save any questions you have for after."

I nodded and I saw mom nod too. This seemed really important and it had nothing to do with Kid. Maybe Hakuba-kun had some answers that I'd been looking for all this time.

"First off, I don't know what happened to Kuroba Toichi, but I know that he was unable to escape on his own. The informant could only tell me what he knew, and there were some things that were only seen through the eyes of two people. I can't seem to find the main suspect in that account, so it falls to only that of your husband, who can't speak of it. Before the show started that day, the informant and a few men had come with another. I don't know his name but I'm sure he had a criminal profile somewhere that's miles long. I found more important things to look into in the meantime but I will get back and finish that part of my investigation after I clear up this more disturbing revelation."

"Can you clear up one thing before that," I said, rising my hand a bit. "Why were you looking into dad's case anyway? It was labeled an accident." I knew it wasn't. Mom knew it wasn't. That didn't mean everyone knew it wasn't. Hakuba-kun had been speaking as if he knew we knew too.

The look on his face though said otherwise and he shook his head. "I'm sorry. You're right, it wasn't. I looked into it months ago when I first met you, of course. And you similarly know why. The reason I picked it up once more was because I met the C.I. on an unrelated case. It was very strange for a person like him to come forward and meet me in such an open way, and his only request for the information I needed was that I look into something."

"And that something was dad's case? Why?"

"Because he saw you. He heard your name, likely on the street while you were walking home or some other completely random occurrence. It caught his attention… and it scared him. I will get to why if you let me finish telling you his story."

I let out a breath and leaned back in the couch, seeing that Hakuba hadn't lost that edge he had around him. Even I could recognize in others that feeling that sent most people back the way they came, that scared little children in the dark. I could see it in his eyes and in his posture.

"I didn't believe his story, of course. And I'm sure you won't either. But I did some more looking after the effects of what he was saying wore off. That day, all those years ago, he and a few others were at the show. He didn't know why. He was told by a friend of his to come along. I can't get in touch with the other person. Both of us believe he's dead at this point.

In either case, he went to meet Kuroba Toichi. It was supposed to be after the show but for some reason the person whose order they were following wanted to see him beforehand. Who they met was a woman, someone who I can't identify. All they could tell me was a relative age and hair color and I've been unable to find her on that information alone. They caught part of a conversation between her and Kuroba-san. It was obvious from it that the person walking away had killed him. The woman had been speaking about some sort of drug and of a past with him. Since the words 'my own version' and 'untested' came up, it left possibilities for me to think on later. The years separating the cases as well as... In any case, upon the others walking in, they had seen him bleeding and looking very much like she indeed had killed him.

At that point, since Kaito-kun was near the stage as your story agrees, he saw all the people coming and going and went to check himself. Of course that put the C.I. and his associates, armed, and at the scene of the crime."

Hakuba-kun closed his eyes and leaned back, breathing calmly. He stayed that way for a few minutes and I didn't feel like interrupting him. I'd never heard what had happened but I'd always thought Snake had killed dad. He hadn't…. All this time and he hadn't. It was some woman whose name and face I didn't know.

Damn it. I was still doing dad's work and helping people, but I'd been blaming the wrong person.

I needed the few minutes as well, though I wasn't sure about mom. I'd never given her Snake's codename and I'd never been sure dad had. Some of this information would have been new to her. That was, if this C.I. guy Hakuba-kun was talking about was with Snake at all and not some third group. I really hoped it wasn't. I didn't know how much more out of my depth I could feel if I'd already made that big of a mistake once.

When Hakuba-kun spoke again, his voice wasn't more than a whisper, breathy, like he was having trouble getting the words out. "This next part may be hard for you to listen to and I'm only going to say it once."

I was quiet and mom nodded. I could hear her speak softy as well, like a person to a spooked horse, which I guess he kind of was. "Go ahead. I'm grateful for what you've been able to find out, and that you've been looking into this when I thought everyone had given up."

I'd thank him too but I wanted to hear the rest of this first.

Hakuba-kun nodded. "You don't leave witnesses to a crime like that, even one you haven't committed. Kaito-kun was shot and he was killed. By what the other man said, it was a gunshot and it was over quickly, if not violently. The men then took his body away and burnt the place so they didn't leave any trace of either crime, since they were sure bloody footprints and other evidence could be found based on their actions.

None of this made sense to me of course, because I know Kuroba-kun is right here, as you do. I looked though. I went where the man had told me they left the body. I found that of an eight-year-old boy, and could only try to match the age of bone since it had been so long since the crime.

Then when I figured that out, it made no sense to me, unless he was lying to me for reasons I couldn't understand. I'd looked into Edogawa-kun months before. Having already had that piece of a separate puzzle I thought just maybe…"

Hakuba looked at me but I was just sitting there, staring at him. I-…

I hadn't died. I mean, sure I knew what situation the mini detective was in but that- that wasn't me. I hadn't…

"We'd have to run some tests, of course. On you and the body. You're clever. For your age your grades far surpass what you should know. Looking back at those from middle school, you can see the same trend. Many would have called you a genius, even before high school. Even if you deny this part, which I will let you, Kid is talented. He can outwit people who have far more experience than he. He can do things most people just can not do- not without years of practice."

I swallowed but some part of me just refused to move, refused to let my brain work. This was crazy. It was just… crazy. It was impossible, and that impossibility made me smile. "And you want me to believe this?"

"Dental records date back years. I checked myself or I wouldn't have come here."

That was proof I couldn't fight against. That didn't mean my brain could get around all the facts that he was telling me. You can't just believe when someone comes into your life and tells you all this time it was all a lie. That everything you knew was wrong.

"But- but wouldn't I remember that?"

"You had a head wound. It was also very possible that Kuroba Toichi was conscious and knew what had happened to his son and was unable to react. I would assume in that circumstance that his only wish would have been to try and follow those that had committed the crime.

It's also possible that if that was indeed what happened, he would have done anything he could to want to change it. The human mind does a lot of things to protect itself from harm, and if he thought he was dying, along with being injured, that makes it far more likely."

I felt tears on my face even if I couldn't believe a word he was saying. I didn't cry. I never cried. I… I wasn't supposed to. Because I had to be strong- for mom and for all those that needed me to be strong.

But Hakuba-kun just tore down every wall I ever had and I couldn't fight it because I couldn't believe it. I couldn't do anything. When my voice came out, I didn't think he could even hear me. "Can I see those records?"

"Of course." I watched him tremble. Hakuba Saguru had never trembled. This was… this was so big though. And so much to take in. I-… I couldn't be my dad. Mom would have noticed. Someone would have noticed.

"I'm sorry. I debated for a few days coming here. It felt very personal and, for a while, I was sure you already knew and were keeping it to yourselves. I was wrong."

"No, it's okay. I just have to see." Mom stood… was she mom? I didn't know. She went over to him, and bowed. "Please, the sooner the better."

"Of course." Hakuba-kun stood but I was still in shock, stuck where I last moved in a now somewhat awkward position on the couch. I swallowed, and I was breathing, but that was all I seemed to be able to do."

"Kaito?"

I looked up at mom. I was still crying but more tears came out at my name. My name? Was it? I couldn't even be sure anymore. How could I? Hakuba-kun, he could lie. I knew he could lie. I knew the kind of person he was though and this was like some horrible, horrible dream. I just wanted to wake up.

Please, just wake up.

…

…

…

A/N: As Yukiko's guess in the train arc is wrong because we saw Vermouth with Jodie as a kid, so the age-reversing drug is at least as long ago as their NY trip and the time it took to do the funeral and everything. So it's a year old or more(if we go with the assumption that it's a drug and not something else)… and the drug that makes her younger and the one that was supposed to be 'just tested' on Shinichi makes him younger as well had too many parallels…

So if Gin was using just Ai's version and there had been another one years before, maybe by her parents, since she had to have some basis to get something so close- And if Vermouth tested it out on others before it was ready for her, maybe to get the death factor out on purpose (she did turn back about 20 years)…

Thus this twisted idea was born