Agent Washington's life was divided in two parts: the one where he still had family, and the one where he didn't. Before Freelancer, his family consisted of two parents, seven sisters, a dog and a pair of elderly neighbours. When he signed up with the army, not much changed. It did when he got relocated to Project Freelancer. His home was swapped out from a house with a yellow picket fence to an enormous spaceship. His old family thought he was dead. However, the change also brought him a new family, consisting of the most ragtag team of idiots ever. Of all time.
Still, though. They were his idiots.
To think all of that could fall apart so quickly... In hindsight,the realised they'd been raveling, ripping at the seams way longer. He had just been too naive to see it at the time. And when the initial blow was over and the smoke had cleared, he finally found himself truly alone. He couldn't bear having to miss all of his family. The first time he left his kindred behind, he had been able to make peace with it by telling himself that it was for the greater good. But now even that turned out to be untrue, and a double load of grief came washing over him. He constantly felt like he was choking somehow. He was lost under sea and didn't know what way was up or down.
He hadn't expected to break the spell.
And he certainly hadn't expected to find yet another new family, among the broken parts of Project Freelancer of all places.
You see, Agent Washington has had two half lifes. Wash has had three.
The simulation troopers had been disgustingly happy to help, hushing words of second chances and redeeming oneself to each other. Wash had felt like he could puke rajnbows as the blue-blue one innocently showed him an empty yellow canister of spray paint.
Old habits die hard.
Apparently, getting emotionally attached to the most emotionally stunted people he could find was one of Wash's oldest habits. How else to explain the way he'd taken them under his wing so quickly?
(This is the part where Tucker would snort and shoot him a look that said dude. You took us under your wing?)
Anywho. They had glued themselves together firmly. It gave Wash a sense of deja vu. Of another team of soldiers trying their hardest to keep everyone together. They'd felt so close to each other then. It had done nothing to stop their fall.
Wash couldn't help but remember that history tends to repeat itself.
So when Grif tells them that he's done, he's leaving, Wash decides to change history for once. He will not let it happen again. He steels himself and goes right against what his gut tells him.
He lets go.
After all, if there's anything his seven sisters had taught him, it's this: if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it feels the same about you. But if it doesn't, your love wasn't meant to be after all.
He doesn't quite feel for Grif the same way his sisters meant, but he thinks it applies to the situation anyhow.
(He hears the story of how Grif and Locus had saved the day later, after he wakes up from surgery. He looks at the sim troopers sitting before him, laughing and patting both Grif and their newest family member on the back. Mentally, Wash applauds himself.)