A SORE SUBJECT
Ever since Sesshomaru came back to the Western Lands and took residence in the Western Palace, he has had to assume his father's role in continuing as the Ruler of the Western Lands. So this of course meant that most of his days were spent in alliance meetings, patrols, training troops, and so on. We don't travel as aimlessly anymore but we do manage to get away, at least once every three months.
"Rin! Sesshomaru-sama is here!" cries Jaken in excitement.
"Coming Master Jaken!" I respond, as always.
Breaking out of my reverie, I hurry to the door. I always make sure to welcome Sesshomaru home when he arrives, rather like how my mother used to welcome my father home after a long day in the fields. I see him elegantly walking up the path to the door with his advisors behind him. To the untrained eye, he seems to be walking leisurely but only my trained eyes can tell that his stride is rather impatient and hurried. I smile.
He can't wait to come back home.
His eyes seek me out and swirls of relief swim in the golden pools of light. I smile for him and his eyes smile for me.
As he nears the door, his eyes shift momentarily to Jaken, giving him a nod. He hands him some scrolls and quickly trains his eyes back to me.
"Welcome home, Sesshomaru-sama," I greet him, barely restraining myself in planting a kiss on his cheek. The station of the Lady of the Western Lands is so limiting - I can't even kiss my mate in the presence of others! But then again, Sesshomaru does not favour public forms of affections.
Sesshomaru seeing the fight going on in my eyes hastens to relieve me as quickly as possible. He holds one hand out to me. I give him my hand and he locks his palm around mine. He looks me in the eye.
"Rin, I hope you have fared well."
I smile. He knows I love it when he greets me with those exact words. Those are the same words he used to greet me, when I first joined him.
"Sesshomaru-sama, you're back!" I squealed in surprise.
"Rin, I hope you have fared well." came Sesshomaru's polite reply.
I smile in recollection.
I break out of my reverie, as Sesshomaru guides my hand towards our private quarters. As we are alone in the hallway leading to our private rooms, I give him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Welcome home, my dearest." I said, smiling in relief at being able to express myself.
His eyes swirl in recollection.
"My dearest?" I ask.
"That is what Izayoi used to call my father." He said, looking ahead.
I stop walking, retrieving my hand from his palm. He looks at me and I knot my hands in frustration.
"I see. I am sorry. I...I will use another term of endearment." I said, trying to escape his keen eyes, by looking everywhere but him.
He turns to me, reaching out for my hand again. But my hands firmly remain knotted.
"Sesshomaru, would you please retire to your study first. I wish to...to clean our room, you see...there was quite a mess in it this morning and I forgot to remove it and as you like our space to be organized, I don't think -"
"Rin." came his sharp response. I jumped.
"I am sorry, I know you like your quarters to be ready when you return home. I have been negligent in my duties -"
"Rin." comes the impatient response.
I open my mouth, but he puts a clawed finger to it - silencing me.
"I should not have brought up Izayoi. I had meant it only as a casual observation, my sweet flower." He said, coming closer, clearly wanting to kiss my forehead. But I take a step back.
He looks hurt and confused. I touch his arm reassuringly.
"Darling, I only wish to clean the mess in our rooms. You know that I too do not like it being in a state of mess. Please retire to your study, I will call you once I am finished." I said.
He looks sceptical but nods his head.
"As you wish." he said, turning around and walking the opposite way.
I walk to our room. I need some time to myself. So I made an excuse of wanting to clean the nonexistent "mess" in our room to get away. Perhaps it is because of my terrible childhood but when problems surface, my first instinct is to deal with them myself. In order to do so, I must be alone until a solution is drawn.
I sigh again, looking dejected.
I gasp, as I feel a clawed hand on my shoulder. My eyes close, scared to see Sesshomaru behind me. I have lied to him for the first time.
I feel striped arms around my waist, as he takes a seat behind me.
"Rin, face me."
I sigh and slowly turn around, laying my hands on his chest and looking up hesitantly into his eyes.
"Before you say anything, I am sorry for lying to you about...this...and the embarrassment I caused you earlier. I couldn't help myself in both instances. Please...let's just retire for tonight and start again in the morning?" I said, desperately wanting to end today.
"I thought I told you that it was no embarrassment Rin. I was only having a moment of recollection." He said, while tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
"And no doubt irony?" I ask.
His eyebrows rise in surprise.
I sigh.
"Sesshomaru, do you remember when you asked me to become your mate? I had been brutally honest in telling you that one day, you would regret doing so. Perhaps that day has come, when you finally realize you are your father and I...Inu-"
He tightened his grip on my arms.
"Enough!" he exclaims, unintentionally revealing his fangs.
I look at him, my eyes wide. I seem to be on a roll. I have angered him, also for the first time.
I smile.
"I will remove myself from your presence." I said, bowing my dark head.
I make a motion to get up.
But his arms only enclose me once more.
"You will most certainly not." he said, his voice thin.
I flinch at the ice in his voice.
"You have said enough for one night, Rin. It is now my turn, as I see I have kept quiet for too long." He said.
I prepare myself to hear the worst, when I feel his claws lifting my chin. His golden pools of light meet my hazel ones.
"Rin, my dearest, you have spoken some harsh words. You have foolishly said that I will see myself as my father and in turn, see you as Izayoi - making me regret our union. My head-strong little flower, I will tell you what you do not know. The day before our mating ceremony, I used the tenseiga and went to my father's tomb. I asked for his blessing - yes, that's right, my sweet flower, his blessing. I finally made peace with my father only because of you, Rin. As for you taking after Izayoi, you should know my beloved, that while you are both human - you are worlds apart and please be aware that I am not saying that out of malice or prejudice. It is simply the fact - Izayoi was human nobility and her royal background shaped her personality. She was as all nobles are - well groomed, well educated, submissive, restrained from speaking her mind, and bearing the limitations of nobility. You, my wildflower, are the opposite. You run wild and free, speaking your mind and doing as you please, you are free of inhibitions and false courtesy. In brief, you are most refreshing to This Sesshomaru. Can you not see how different you two are?"
I give him a slow smile, my eyes thankful for his words. This is the most I have heard him speak.
He cups my cheek and tilts my eyes - warmth pooling in to both of our eyes.
"My love -" I begin to speak.
"You may call me your dearest, if you so prefer, my beloved." interrupts Sesshomaru.
I blush, conscious of our use of endearments. I decide to use the once sore term "dearest" to show that I accept his explanation and that I intend to make peace.
"As you wish, my dearest." I said.
He gives me a small smile.
"That's better." He rumbled, in a soothing voice, rubbing circles on my back.
I lay my head on his shoulders, feeling rather drowsy from the happy butterflies swimming inside my stomach.
Thank you Sesshomaru, my love...
THE END