Chapter 1

Bill

Sib's POV

I was waiting, waiting for Bitters to fall into drone mode. Right now she was just blathering on about how squirrels aren't important to politics, which is actually true. But when she starts repeating stuff like a scratched record, that's when I know she's in drone mode. A full scale riot—with pitchforks and torches and the whole enchilada—could break out under her nose and she would still plow on with her lecture.

"Have squirrels ever become senators? No! Have squirrels ever become president? No! Have squirrels ever become president? No! Have squirrels ever become president? No!" Bitters says. Yessss. Time to get Dib. I turn to say something. And...he's asleep. Out like a light.

"DIB!" I hiss.

He jerks awake and turns to me.

"Bigfoot! You shrunk," he says, confused.

I roll my eyes.

"Bitters is in drone mode. Let's get Fae and Z and blow this pop stand! I'm hungry!" I say, jumping up. I run over to the first row and run to the end, smacking Zim in the head as I pass.

"Filthy human meat worm! You dare smack the mighty head of Ziiiiiiiim?!" he shrieks.

I just ignore him and get Fae and Z.

"Finally!" says Fae. "I thought she would never drone!"

"C'mon, let's get outta here," says Z.

"Um, hello, forgetting somebody?"

It was Gem, my best friend! I can't believe I forgot about Gem! She's Irken, but I don't care. The only reason I hate Zim is because he keeps trying to take over the world (to no avail, thanks to us) and kill me and Dib. Gem isn't evil, she's just in hiding. A long time ago, she nearly destroyed all Irken planets (Irk, Devastis, Foodcourtia, and Conventia) in a single huge accident. Millions of Irken lives were lost, so when the dust settled on Devastis, where the wreckage was worst, and Gem was found in the middle of it, miraculously unharmed, everyone accused her and she was charged with the biggest crime in an Irken millennium and sentenced to execution. She escaped, and took her Voot runner as far away from Irk as she could get. She stumbled upon Earth, and so here she is.

Gem's POV

"Hi Gem!" says Sib.

"Hello Sib," I say. "Fae, Z, Dib. NOW let's get out of here."

We walk back up the aisle. We're barely out the door when that obnoxious Hall Monitor demands to see our hall passes.

"You didn't see ANYTHING," says Sib, giving him a look that plainly says "Keep quiet if you enjoy having a properly arranged face."

The kid gives Sib a scared look and backs away. She tends to have that effect on people.

"So, we hit MacMeatie's, then?" asks Dib.

"Sounds like a plan to me," says Z.

"To MacMeatie's!" I say.

Z's POV

On the way to MacMeatie's, Sib and Dib come up with new ways to expose Zim as an alien, with lots of...detailed, shall I say, descriptions of his autopsy. I wish they would stop being so mean to my Zimmy! Gem, Fae, and I exchange stories of how we got on Earth and talk about how different everything is here from Irk. When we get to the restaurant, a pimply teenager takes our orders. We all get Quarter Porkies with cheese and Sucks, and, like almost all couples, Dib and Sib share a Chocolate Bubblegum Suck.

"That is so sappy," I say.

"You should talk, Miss Oh-I-Wish-Zim-Would-Share-a-Suck-With-Me," Sib retorts.

"Touché," I say.

"Which, frankly, I don't get at all," says Dib. "What do you see in him, anyways?"

"He's hot!" I reply. "What don't I see in him?"

"Eh, beauty is in the eye of the beholder," says Gem.

Then, at that moment, some tall dude in sunglasses and a trench coat barges in holding some crazy contraption.

"Good Lord, not him!" Sib says loudly.

To be continued...