I've been staring at the clock for hours...nothings changed...he's still not here, and he's still not lying next to me.

Where did we go wrong? Where did everything change? How did they find us?

How did I end up pregnant and in a psychiatric ward? Where did it go wrong, and most of all...why did they shoot him?

I don't know how to carry on anymore, I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore, I don't understand what I'm supposed to do without him next to me.

This would have been our second child...our two-year-old baby girl is out somewhere in the world...I haven't had any contact with her ever since they took me from my silence. I wish I could touch my baby girl, and let her know everything is all right. I wish they never found us. How did it happen? I still don't understand...the Agents who made the arrest were not familiar to me...I figured that if anyone were to find us it would have been Crawford or Mapp. I don't understand much of anything anymore. All sense of reason has left me...now I sit, alone and broken.

I'm six months pregnant...I've heard them speaking of aborting my child, or as soon as it's born putting it up for adoption.

Yeah someone will really jump at the chance of adopting Hannibal Lecter's child.

The child is mine as well. I don't want anyone to steal my child from me. Hannibal still needs to see the child...we need to name him or her together.

If only that were possible...He's in the hospital in critical condition. No one will keep me up to date on his state, so I'm forced to use all of my phone time calling Barney to get the information. Sweet Barney...still doesn't hold anything against me.

I remember trying to ask Ardilla to tell me how he was, she wouldn't answer me about him. Still doesn't understand what love is I suppose. I don't think she understands the undying love one human can have for another. I understand his problems, he understands mine as well. So why is it so impossible to love Hannibal Lecter? Well, besides his cannibalism...and killing innocent people...I still love him. I love him for his intellect...for his genius, for his mind...for who he is. It doesn't make any sense...I know. It's crazy, I understand it is absolutely crazy, but I do honestly love him.

I'm not even sure how it happened...how I came to love a madman.

AN: I will continue this one as soon as I can!