What is love? I don't know. Do you? Does anyone? I would guess not. But I know what it can do to you. It can destroy you; make you become addicted to it, and so many other things I won't bother to mention because if you ever had your heart broken by someone you loved (or love) you would understand what I'm trying to say here.
The feeling of being in love is probably the best thing you would ever feel in your whole life. You can object to this statement. Everybody's different. But, to me, falling in love is still the kind of thing I don't want to forget. Putting that feeling into words is pretty hard to do. Love is one of those rare things that you have to experience first before you understand.
Nothing you do can prepare yourself for when that loved one leaves you. I've tried but obviously it didn't work. If it did I wouldn't be writing this stuff. You can try though if you want.
When my boyfriend left me the pain of the separation surprised me. I had not known until then of how much I counted on him to be there; for him to remain a solid, steadfast object to hang onto whenever I fall. He was the foundation of my house. But in doing so, in letting him into my heart, I'd taken him for granted. That was my big mistake. I thought he would never leave, that I would be the one to leave first, but I was wrong. And that error cost me my happiness and my ability to love someone else.
I was foolish and stupid to think I could play with love and not expect to be burned by it. Like playing with fire you have to know what you're doing, otherwise you might end up burning down the whole house with you in it.
A friend once told me that if you want to play in the game of love you must be willing to gamble when the stakes are high. Falling in love constitutes a risk. If the person you chose is wrong then you will fall. And when you fall, I assure you, the pain of it will be beyond everything you could ever imagine. And despite everything my sweetheart put me through, all the pain and heartbreak, I still love him. He's all I ever think about. And the only one I can imagine myself with. Maybe someday when I fall in love again (who knows?) then I will change my penname and be happy again (is there such a thing?). But, then again, that'd be a long time from now.
This is my perspective. You can argue with me if you want. You're welcome to. The depth and feel of the pain depends on how much you loved the person. But then again you might be like me, not knowing how much you needed him until he actually left.
"Love is irrational, I reminded myself. The more you loved someone the less sense anything made". Bella, Twilight: New Moon