It is dark in the Slytherin common room, just a few candles spending a little greenish light. The music is too loud and the air too thick with cigarette smoke. An advantage of Slytherins slowly accepting muggleborns as a part of society.

"Hey Rosie." He gives me a peck on my lips. He, too, smells like smoke and fire whiskey.

"Give me a minute." Scorpius puts an almost empty glass in my hand. "I'll be right back, just getting a drink for you."

Instead of bringing one glass or two, Scorpius comes back with the whole bottle.

"Come on." He says, taking my hand in his free and pulling me out of the common room in the dungeons and then in an empty small classroom.

"I missed you." He whispers in my ear and kisses my neck after we put the bottle and the glass on the teacher's desk. My hands are in his soft soft hair.

Even now I'm aware that it will never work between the two of us. I'm isolating myself way too much for that. I'll never let anyone in.

And he? He's Scorpius Malfoy and a Slytherin, that should speak for itself. Besides the fact that you should never trust a Slytherin because there is a 90% chance they'll use it against you one day, he doesn't trust anyone either. Not that I can blame him for that.

But we're young - and probably quite stupid - so why not enjoy the lie that we have?

I don't even try to eat something the next morning or the next day at all. I just want to stay in bed but shortly before dinner time my younger cousin shushes me out of the dormitory and down to dinner. I just sit there looking probably worse than I feel, occasionally sipping on my pumpkin juice when I feel his eyes on me.

I look up and our gazes meet. For a second I'm unable to move and I think about all those cheesy romance movies I watch during summer with my grandmother. I expect something great and amazing to happen like sunlight filling the great hall. Like unicorns bursting through the doors or sparks flowing through the air but nothing happens and then I look away.

I want him to hold me again. I want him to kiss me again. I'd probably be content with just looking at him for a while. I can still feel his eyes on me and as I look up once more he quickly nods his head in direction of the doors and mouths "lake" to me.

I get up, excuse myself, I'm polite after all, and leave the Great Hall behind me. Minutes later I can hear him following me.

"Hey." I whisper. My voice so quiet and somehow so tiny.

"Look, Rose. We don't work." Well, at least one can't say he beats around the bush.

"I know." My voice sounds sad but somehow I manage a smile, or at least something that's close to one.

"I'm sorry." As if. I want to tell him to fight for us but I don't. I just walk away from him. I know I should walk back to the castle where it's warm and comfortable. I could even hide in my dormitory and cry.

I remember what my parents told me when I was eleven. "You need to be careful, Rose." I sigh. A crying Rose Weasley would end up in some stupid newspaper.

And even though I should be heartbroken and sad, which I kind of am, I also feel strangely alive. My heart beats fast and my body feels as if it is on fire.

Deep deep down I know Scorpius is right. Well, actually, not just deep deep down. He obviously is right. And somehow I'm happy he was the one to finish it so I didn't have to hurt his feelings. Still. It's a shame. We could have been great together.

My friends are probably missing me by now but they're also used to me running away occasionally. It just is calming to be alone for a while. Nobody to whom you belong. Nobody who belongs to you. Eternal freedom.

Hours (or maybe just minutes later) I walk back, I really don't know how much time has passed. As I quietly slip in the castle and walk back to my dormitory I hear people fighting and shouting and yelling in a classroom nearby. It's such a Slytherin thing to do but I stop and listen. Might use it sometime. Probably just a couple anyway.

"You're such a coward." Says voice number one. "Instead of fighting for something you just leave. You're pathetic."

Voice number two interrupts the first voice. It's higher and I know immediately it's a girl's voice. "Leave him alone, Al. He's broken enough as it is. This wasn't easy for him."

Al as in Albus fucking Potter? Great. I wonder what upset him, he wasn't even angry when I accidentally set his broom on fire in second year. Or when I put Veritaserum in his pumpkin juice last week. That actually helped him though. So naturally I curiously step closer to the door to hear more.

"I know what I did was wrong, Al. No need to remind me. But she would have done the same in a few days so you should be happy that you can yell at me now and not at her in a few days."

"I should be happy that you broke her heart? She's my fucking cousin, Scorp."

Uh oh. They're talking about me. At least I hope so because otherwise Scorpius shagged one of my other cousins as well.

"Rose Weasley doesn't have a heart." He says and walks out of the class room and then he stops when he sees me standing there.

"Oh fuck." He runs his hand through his soft perfect shiny hair.

I don't even know what to answer so I just look at him with raised eyebrows and a sneer and for the second time that day I walk away from him. My body still on fire.

On Monday he sits down next to me during breakfast.

"I'm sorry for what I said, Rosie."

I want to say something like it's okay, you're right I probably don't have a heart but all that I can manage is keep staring at him when a cold "Can I help you, Malfoy?" interrupts us. Lily. She emphasizes and stretches his last name painfully.

"I don't know, can you? You'd probably need a brain for that." He retorts, one of his Malfoy smirks on his face, and gets up. "Rose," he turns to me before he walks away. "You know where to find me, right?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lily asks me but I shake my head and then I, too, walk away.

I'm not following him. I'd never do that. I just somehow end up taking the exact same way he does. It's probably a coincidence.

Never in my life have I been that confused. Scorpius Malfoy never lets his guard down. He never lets anyone see beside his cold facade. And still, whispers a voice in my head. Still. He offered to be there for you.

I see him standing in the middle of the corridor, obviously waiting for me and a few steps later I'm in his arms once more. And we're kissing again. I don't know who started it or why he waited for me but I don't want it to end. At least not yet.