Lost In Paradise
By: Android18rulez
Summary- Sequel to "Nobody Understands". I was listening to this song and just thought of Seto Kaiba. He wants to tell us about Gozaburo and his relationship with his beloved baby brother, Mokuba. Kaiba's POV.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL.
The other day I saw my brother writing in a journal. When I asked him what it was about he said it was about us. I read it and was surprised to find out how much my brother knew and remembered. It kind of scared me. I had hoped that he had forgotten. I know I wish that I could forget, but I can't.
I've been
Believing in something so distant
As if I was human
And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness
In me, in me
Throughout the years I had to be a grown up in order to protect Mokuba. Everything happened when he was young, all out of his control. He is the only family I have left. Before Mokuba the only person I trusted was my mother. I respect my father, but for some unexplainable reason I didn't love him. He just didn't understand me like mom did.
Growing up she was the only one who asked me how my day was, how I did on a test, and anything else she could think up. To her everything I did was a good thing and should be remembered. My father just accepted it as normal and didn't bother anymore. That had upset me till I realized I still had my mother. And she was there for me till the day she died. I loved her for that.
All the promises I made
Just to let you down
You believed in me, but I'm broken
The day she died is also the day of my brother's birth. I remember it like it was yesterday. Somewhere in my mind, even though I was 5, knew that I may never see my mother again. I remember looking at Mokuba for the first time. I was amazed. He was so small, delicate really. My mom asked me to promise her to care for Mokuba for her since she couldn't be there. I kept that promise to the best of my ability.
Ever since then Mokuba and I could only rely on ourselves. Dad let me homeschool so I could easily tend to Mokuba during the day. When Mokuba was three, dad died. We then had to live with our aunt.
I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
That lasted about two months before she died. She was a drunk, do I need to explain? Then we ended up at the orphanage.
There we had to deal with bullies. They picked on my brother because he was smaller than them, thus an easier target. I dealt with them, no matter how many times I got in trouble. Those care takers were idiots. I never listened to them. They weren't worth my time.
Two years later I beat Gozaburo at chess to get us out of that hell hole. I would rather go back. Nothing I did was good enough for him. Books were thrown, shelves knocked over, rulers broken, blood spilled. Eventually I kind of got used to it. Then he and his associates…. raped me. Whatever innocence left in my body was destroyed that day. I still wonder why I dealt with all that shit.
We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise
Whenever I was about to break a picture of an ebony haired boy popped in my head. Then I would remember I had a job to do. Protect Mokuba. At 14 I defeated my step-father at his own game. It resulted in his own death.
All I remember was he was trying to kill me and Mokuba for "ruining" him. Next thing I knew the window was broken and Mokuba was giving me a towel for a wound on my head I don't remember getting. After that everything was going great for us. Then Yugi waltz in and stole my title.
As much as I'd like the past not to exist
It still does
And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here
I'm just as scared as you
In my mind I had been destroyed. I was no longer worthy to be Mokuba's brother. So for 6 months I went to sort my thoughts out. When I got back my incompetent employees let my brother get kidnapped by that sadistic prick, Pegasus. I went to his little island to do what security couldn't; get my brother back. I found Mokuba only to have him taken away from me again.
Once we were released from the Shadow Realm I had set up Battle City. Mokuba supported me every step of the way. When Noah took Mokuba I was heartbroken to say the least. The brat made my brother turn against me!
I couldn't risk hurting Mokuba, so I didn't attack. He means too much to me. I did everything I could when I remembered the Blue-Eyes card Mokuba made me when he was younger. I kept it in my locket under the picture of Mokuba. I told Mokuba the truth about how he saved me that day. Then he remembered and ran to me. But before he made it to me we both were turned to stone and Yugi took over the duel.
Once we were freed from the stone statue forms of ourselves I embraced Mokuba. I didn't care that Yugi and his dork squad were there, I had my brother back and that was all that mattered to me. Then I had to leave Mokuba to face the demon that haunted my dreams; Gozaburo Kaiba.
I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
Once we left that virtual nightmare we continued with my tournament. Even though I lost Mokuba still admires me, calling me the best duelist in the universe. What God decided I was worthy to have this child as my baby brother? He was too good to me.
Later Dartz tried to take over the world. I thought he belonged in the loony bin. How was Mokuba evil? If he is evil then everyone is worse than the devil himself. I had to team up with Yugi and the Mutt to defeat him. The next day Mokuba and I took a day off.
We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise
Then the two of us set up one last tournament. I didn't enter to make sure nothing happened. When Zigfried hacked my files with that virus I told Mokuba to watch the workers while I went to see if Yugi could disable the card without losing. He is the only one I completely trust with something so big and important like those files. I smirked when Yugi won. Of course he would.
Mokuba cheered for him and gave me a hug, telling me the files were untouched. I smiled at him and told him I was proud of him. He looked up at me with a huge smile and a light in his eyes. Love, I think. Maybe respect. Or a combination of the two? I'll never know.
There are two people of Yugi's pep squad I can't stand the sight of. That is that Mutt, Joey Wheeler and the friendship whore, Tea Gardener.
Run away, run away
One day we won't feel this pain anymore
I hate the mutt because he thinks he knows me and that he is a better duelist than me even though I have served him his ass on a silver platter time after time. That just grates my nerves. Seriously, is there something wrong with his brain? That is beside the point. (Or is it?)
I hate the friendship cheerleader because she thinks life is so easy and perfect and everything she says is right. Guess what? SHE IS WRONG! Life isn't gumdrops and ice cream. I had a shitty life, so telling me that life is easy with friendship is going to just irritate the hell out of me. I have been tempted to slap her more than once. I have enough self-control not to.
Take it all away
Shadows of you
Cause they won't let me go
I guess Mokuba was right. Nobody truly understands me except for him. I am not as bad as they make me out to be.
Until I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
I wouldn't have it any other way really. I don't want everybody in my business. Mokuba earned the right to know everything he knows. I don't just give it to him. Let everyone have their own opinion of me, I don't care anymore. If they can't except me for who I am then that is their problem. I am glad that my brother, my Mokie, knows the truth. We are just fine by ourselves.
We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise
Alone, and lost in paradise
When I was younger I thought I was alone. I was so very wrong. I always had Mokuba by my side through thick and thin, through the good and bad, through the ups and downs. You name it, he was there. Together we are lost in paradise.
-Seto Kaiba