It takes every ounce of will power she has(and that is not an inconsiderable amount) not to rush forward and throw herself into his arms. She can feel her body shift forward ready make the first step when he rescues her by moving first.

"Come on, don't stop for me."

It's enough. She pulls herself together and manages to join him in the song. He looks tired, his face is paler and thinner than the last time she saw it. He's so beautiful it breaks her heart.

Afterward she stays as near him as decorum will allow, and then some. She can't quite believe it's real, that he's standing here talking to her father as if the last few days haven't happened. He tells them briefly about his time behind German lines and although his voice is light she can see the weary strain he tries to hide. When her father goes to see Granny off she flounders for a moment, looking for words that are safe, helpful and not "I love you"

"What will you do with the rest of your leave?" She realizes as she asks that this is not as easy a topic as she had hoped for.

"Well since Mother isn't here I think I'll run up to London and see Lavinia…" She wonders if he can see her discomfort because he presses on "I got your letter about Carlisle"

"I hope you'll approve, I know you don't like him much" She can hear herself getting defensive. Suddenly the thought of Matthew thinking badly of her is so repulsive she can't bear it.

"I hardly know him, but I'm sure I'll like him when I do" She doesn't know if the can see what she's thinking but she's so grateful to him for trying. "That's if he's good to you." He continues "If he's not he'll have me to answer to."

She tries to laugh but it doesn't come out quite right. The stand there looking at each other for a long awkward moment before he speaks,

"I really must go, I'm beat. Tell you're parents goodnight for me wont you?"

"Of course." She says, finding herself back on more solid ground again. "I'll see you out."

They walk in silence to the door. Granny and Papa are gone leaving only the empty cool night air to greet them. He stops in the door and smiles at her.

"Goodnight cousin Mary."

"Goodnight."

He makes it down the step on onto the gravel before the word bursts out of her.

"Matthew."

He turns back, eyes full of questions.

"Yes?"

She moves down to meet him trying to keep her voice even.

"I wanted to…that is I just…I'm so glad you're all right."

His smile is warm.

"So am I."

"I thought—" Suddenly it all comes crashing down on her, the full weight of everything she's been dreading all these months and there's no stopping the rush of tears that choke off the rest of her words.

"Mary?"

"I'm sorry" She grates out, turning to retreat back into the house. His hand on her arm stops her.

"Hey. Look at me."

She shakes her head, if she looks him in the face she isn't sure she can stop herself blurting it all out. He doesn't give her much choice, placing one hand on her shoulder, the other on her cheek, gently tilting her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"It's all right." He says, trying to smile and failing. "I'm fine, William's fine. We're both here. I'm right here." She's crying in earnest now, it's a job to get the words out.

"When Edith told me I was so sure—and I realized that I never—said—" She pulls back, dropping her gaze. She has to get away now, before she hurts either of them any more.

"Said what?" He moves in closer, getting between her and the door, blocking her escape.

"I'm sorry"

"Said what Mary?" he presses. "Please." The desperation in his voice surprises her. She looks up to find him looking at her with all the intensity of a drowning man.

"That I love you." She blurts out, blundering ahead because there's no stopping it now. "I've loved you all this time. And I've missed you so much. I know I have no right too, I betrayed your trust when all you tried to do was love me back. I wish I could convince you how sorry I am Matthew, I'm so so sorr—"

She gets no further. His hands are on her face, his lips on hers as he draws her into the kiss. The sounds of laughter and music float to them from inside the house. He only pulls away when they both need to stop for breath and still he doesn't let her go. His smile is radiant.

"I'd given up on hearing you say those words."

"I know." She reaches up to touch his face, trying to prove to herself that this is really happening. "I'm sorry."

"What about Carlisle?"

"I don't love him. I'd lost you and it didn't seem to matter much who I married after that." A thought shoots through her like a knife. "What about Lavinia?" His hands drop from her face and pain flashes in his eyes. For a horrible moment she thinks she's lost him all over again but then he smiles sadly and takes her hand.

"That will be hard. I've been very selfish."

"You were trying to move on with your life, to be happy. That's noting to be ashamed of."

He shakes his head and squeezes her hand.

"I don't think I could ever truly be happy without you. And I do have something to be ashamed of, Lavinia is a wonderful woman, she has been so good to me and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her." He meets her eyes and their passion takes her breath away. "But I'm not going to lose you again. I can't, it would kill me." Her only answer is to pull him to her and kiss him like she's never kissed anyone in her life. She wraps her arms around his neck and wishes they could stay here in this moment forever, no wars, no heartbreak, just the two of them together and in love. At last he pulls away with reluctance.

"Someone might see."

"I don't care." She kisses him again but he gently disentangles himself.

"Before we go any further I must speak with Lavinia, I owe her that much. I'll take the first train to London in the morning. I have two more days of leave; I'll be back before you know it."

"Of course" She knows he's right but she hates the idea of losing a single second with him. He laughs gently and kisses her forehead.

"I'll see you soon."

She nods and watches as he walks away until she can't stand it and then calls after him.

"I love you."

He's next to her again and kissing her in three strides. This time she's the one to pull away.

"Go on then." She's a little breathless. He grins.

"I love you too." He kisses her one last time and is gone. She probably shouldn't feel this happy, but she couldn't care less. He loves her. He loves her and he's coming back to her.

She's smart enough to know it isn't going to be easy but she also knows she's not alone now. And there's nothing in the world that can keep them down.