Borrow, Read, Return
2 of Ten
Author: donutsandcoffee
Word Count: 2,330
Fandom:How I Met Your Mother
Warnings:AU and un-beta'd.
Pairing(s):BROtp (Barney x Robin), Marshall x Lily, slight Barney x Nora and Ted x Mother (maybe)
Summary: In which Robin is a librarian, Lily a story-teller, Ted a romance writer, Marshall a quirky regular and Barney… the patron who always hits on girl, has the highest fine in history and weirdest combination of books borrowed. A loud love story in a quiet library.
A/n:Second installment of Ten! Hope you enjoy this one, since me being a librarian, this story is pretty much a calling to me. ;)
-X-
Borrow, Read, Return
(1/2)
-X-
Robin Scherbatsky is a librarian.
Before you understand the gravity of this statement, there are several things that must first be known about Robin Scherbatsky: she is a loud, outspoken, gun-totting woman with trigger-happy tendency; she loves changes, adventures, and trying something new; she dislikes a lot of books, preferring newscasts to books—newscasts are immediate, she reasons, up to date, short and right to the point; books are unnecessarily long.
Now, with all these facts have been established, let's see the statement again:
Robin Scherbatsky is a librarian.
The twenty-minute pause after the facts sink in is expected.
Despite all this contradicting facts, though, Robin actually likes being a librarian. Maybe it's the news, how gossips travel fast here, how every patron would pass an interesting story whenever they hand a book to Robin for borrowing. Maybe it's how wonderful her co-workers are—her very own best friend, Lily, who reads stories for children every evening, and her fellow librarian Nora who just moved from UK. Maybe it's her lovely regulars, the aspiring romance writer Ted and the quirky, adorable Marshall.
Whatever the reason, Robin loves being a librarian. She lives, contented.
But don't ever, ever mention the name of Barney Stinson.
.
.
.
That last statement practically begs a flashback, so here is the beginning of the story:
One could say that Barney Stinson was a regular.
He came every Monday, Wednesday and Friday after lunch time when the clock struck two. Robin knew this because that was usually when her afternoon coffee finished; she would be throwing her empty plastic cup away when, as if on cue, the main door swung open. Barney would then enter the small library with confidence, his striking black shoes made a tap, tap, tap sound on the marble floor that echoed throughout the circular main entrance hall, and Robin would sigh. Audibly.
Well, the thing was, she never considered Barney Stinson as a regular. Not when his only purpose in visiting was to hit on women.
Robin realized this fact on a bright February afternoon when she was bringing a tray to Crafts & Hobbies; She was halfway through returning the books to the first shelf when she heard—
"Good thing I brought my library card because I'm checking you out!"
She scoffed, almost dropping her book. Overused pickup line alert, she thought silently. She could've just walked away, but curiosity got the better of her and before she knew it, she had peeked through the gaps in the books.
She could see blond hair, back suit. Dunhill original. White shirt. The girl was a brunette, long hair. Asian.
"Barney, by the way," the man continued, "Barney Stinson."
She could see the girl blush. What a douche, falling for something like that, she mentally sneered, then shrugged everything off and continued putting the books in the shelf, closing the gaps. The scene was interesting, certainly; this may have been the first time someone actually thought of courting women in a library (nothing much happened in a small library in a small town, you see). But Robin was never interested in seeing men trying to get laid, so she continued working instead. This was a onetime thing anyways.
Except it was not.
Barney kept going back to court different girls, coming on all those Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays without fail, and this whole fiasco started to get on her nerves. He ruined the atmosphere! Disrupting the library environment! She could swear what he did would qualify as crime. Library-crime. Or something.
The worst thing was, she kept seeing him. They would walk pass each other, more than once a day on worst days, their eyes met, but nothing was ever exchanged. There were times when Robin contemplated greeting him before he started approaching another one of his prey and Robin would shut up.
On a rainy June evening, Robin grudgingly admitted to herself that seeing him had become part of her routine.
(She also made a point not to bring her gun to work anymore; it wouldn't do to shoot Barney Stinson. Gunshots were always a major distraction in a quiet library.)
-X-
Here is how the story becomes more complicated:
It was a widely accepted fact that Barney Stinson was the co-worker and best friend of Marshall Eriksen.
Barney's Friday visits would always be accompanied by the taller man, who would come with a big smile and request for the weirdest combination of books: alien or monster sightings and large, heavy, jargon-filled, migraine-inducing law books.
"Alliance with Aliens: Why We Should Start before It's Too Late," Robin read from the computer screen, trying her best to keep a straight face, "I'm trying not to judge here, Marshall, but… really?"
"Hey, this book is the real deal, okay," he retorted indignantly, "they even include that sighting from Borneo Island in South East Asia—"
"Whatever suits you," Robin chuckled, turning to take the pre-ordered book from the shelf behind the country, only to find it was no longer there. She frowned. "Wait, I'm quite sure I put it here—"
"Here you go, Marshall, it is due two weeks from now," a voice said.
Lily. She should've known.
Robin turned to see Lily, who had magically appeared at the counter, handing Marshall his Alliance with Aliens copy. She smiled at him with her sweetest smile, ear to ear, and Marshall smiled sheepishly back.
This was the problem.
Barney was Marshall's best friend, and quite possibly the only reason Marshall visited the library regularly. Marshall once told them that he was merely being "dragged" to the place by the other man and would've just used his company's online resources, being a busy lawyer himself.
Lily was Robin's best friend, a regular story teller in the library who had a major crush on said Marshall Eriksen. She wasn't supposed to be behind the counter at all, having no working knowledge of the system, but you would definitely find her there every Friday when Marshall visited.
These mean only one thing: Barney was Lily's only chance of seeing Marshall regularly. And by regularly, she meant at all.
In other words, much to Robin's dismay (yes, dismay, not relief), she couldn't kick Barney out of the library anytime soon.
-X-
This is how Robin thought the story would end:
"My name is Nora," the new girl introduced herself, and Robin immediately had a sense of déjà vu, as if she was looking into a slightly altered mirror.
Nora had just moved into the city and, having worked in Birmingham Central Library back in UK, she easily got the job in the town's library. She was beautiful, with long black and striking dark eyes, and she wasn't just physically attractive; she had a strong personality Robin could relate with. Carl—the library owner—told Robin that her job experience was flawless, and she passed the interview with flying colors. Nora liked to spend hours in Travel & Living after her shift finished—something Robin always did in her spare time.
Robin could even go so far as to say that they were similar in personality, the same side of a coin, with the exception of one distinct difference:
Nora couldn't tolerate Barney's hijinks.
It should also be mentioned that Nora worked part-time in the mornings while Lily came in the evenings to read to children after school, so she was neither close with Lily nor aware of Lily and Marshall's budding, sugar-coated and slightly-nauseating relationship.
Everything just fell into place after that:
One Wednesday afternoon, on a largely uneventful August when Barney hit on a blonde 20-something behind Languages, Nora issued an official ban for Barney from entering the library ever again.
Robin had to remind herself that she wasn't disappointed when Barney didn't show up on the Friday, nor the rest of the week after.
-X-
Here is, however, how the story didn't end:
"Hello," she greeted the girl hovering behind the counter. "Can I help you with anything?"
The girl slid over to him, absentmindedly pushing up her glasses to the bridge of her nose twice. "Yeah, I'm looking for Robin Hood by Howard Pyle? It says it's checked out and I was wondering how long it would be until it's back."
"Sure, let me just take a look," Robin said, trying not to sound rehearsed. She uttered this phrase so many times a day that sometimes she wanted to record it and play it as a soundbite whenever needed.
She pulled up the database and typed in the book title, sipping on her coffee while doing so. Only one copy available, paperback, checked out by—she almost choked on her coffee—Barney Stinson. Overdue for—
Robin can't help the, "Jesus," that slipped out.
"What?" the girl asked.
"It's—well, we do carry it, but um… it's very overdue,"
The girl made a face. "Is there anything you can do?"
Robin tried not to think about her guns and Barney Stinson, and forced a smile. "We'll send an email reminder soon."
As soon as the girl left, without so much of a second thought, Robin picked up the phone and dialed Barney Stinson's number. A six-year overdue was unheard of; it definitely needed something more than an email reminder.
She felt her stomach do a somersault when she heard "go for Barney!" from the other end of the line.
-X-
So here is how the flashback ends:
"Scherbatsky, did you get my order?"
Robin tries to feign irritation, but fails, and ends up half-glaring, half-smiling. "Barney, I told you, for you to borrow Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness, you have to first return I, Robot that you borrowed earlier. And I haven't started on the long overdue Robin Hood—God, why are you reading these anyways?"
Barney smirks. "Don't ask, you're not ready."
Robin opens her mouth, but Barney leans into the counter, expression turns grim, and Robin closes her mouth and starts playing with the edge of her post-it. "But I can give you a hint," he lowers his voice and Robin's breath catch—"It's legendary!"
"Ssshhhh!" Robin reflexively hisses. His 'legendary' voice is always loud—too loud for a library.
Barney just chuckles, raises his hand and mouths, "library five!"
"Library five?"
"That's when you high-five, but you don't make any sound at all because you're in a library," he grins like an idiot, visibly proud of having thought of it.
Robin scoffs, but returns the high five.
A few feet from them, Marshall has just borrowed a copy of Civil Procedure: the How, What, When and Why of Proceeding with a Case and both volumes of 101 Reasons Why Nessie is Better than Sasquatch. His hand lingers on Lily's hand a tad longer than necessary when she hands him the book.
All is well.
(Robin likes to pretend she's not happy with this recent development.)
.
.
.
"Isn't this my favorite patron Ted!" she smiles, putting down the Hunger Games book she has been reading, "how can I help you?"
Ted smiles back and taps on the counter. "Actually, I was just thinking if you could…" but his eyes waver from Robin and he trails off.
"Um, Ted? Ted?"
"Isn't that—" he stops, narrowing his eyes, "isn't that Barney Stinson?"
Robin's gaze follows Ted's and Robin sees Barney, sitting on a small stool beside Lily and giving Tiny Fives at the over-eager children around them. This sight has becoming more often, and now that she thinks about, Robin hasn't seen Barney hitting on any girl in a long time.
Robin mouths a small 'oh'. "Oh, yeah, about that… We lifted his ban because he has to return some long-overdue books. He's been coming to annoy me—again—ever since."
Robin expects Ted's expression to mirror hers—an expression of irritation—but much to Robin's surprise, he grins.
"Oh, oh—I get this," Ted says teasingly, then in a sing-song voice, "somebody's getting a boyfriend~"
"WHAT? Me? No!" Her voice instinctively raises into a ridiculously high pitch, "Ted, you're getting this all wrong."
Ted keeps smiling. She sighs.
"Look, Ted," she stands up and leans on the counter to make a point, "you're a romance writer. You see everything in term of Hollywood chick flicks, through your roses-and-chocolate-tinted glasses. You see a girl walking past you with your favorite book? Boom! Potential fated future wife. You hear a girl humming a song that's been stuck in your head for the past week? Boom—potential fated future wife."
Ted's eyes light up. "Which is exactly the theme for my next book!" He says enthusiastically, completely forgetting their actual topic, "imagine this, Robin. The narration starts in the future, with the father telling his kids about his first meeting with their mother. A story of love, faith, and chances. A love story in reverse."
Robin sighs again, but this time accompanied with a chuckle. "And the dad narrates for the entire 500-page novel? The story would only make sense if you are the father. Nobody talks that much."
"That's beside the point!" he retorts, indignant, "wouldn't it be nice? On the front shelf of Borders, New York Time Best Seller by Ted Mosby," he pauses for dramatic effect, his hands make a rectangle shape as if presenting a card, "How I Met Your Mother."
Robin shakes her head, still smiling. "I'm all for you churning out best sellers, Ted, but I am not one of your characters. I don't live in novels."
She thinks of Barney, how the first thing he does is talking to her, how he makes her laugh, how he gives a touch of adventure in her humdrum, predictable life; and then she remembers how he looks at Nora—a mixture of surprise, curiosity and infatuation—and she says, "love isn't my story."
She looks at Ted, shrugging, but Ted merely smiles smugly. "You'll see, Scherbatsky. You'll see.
"Love is everyone's story."
Robin shakes her head again, considers retorting, but changes the subject instead.
.
.
.
-X-
a/n: reviews and favorites are very much appreciated. You can also tell me whether you want me to continue this story first, The Break Up Service first, or start on any of the AU ideas first. I'm all ears :)