Title: Lucky charm
Author: 4Kennedy
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Pairing: Cameron/Sarah
Rating: PG-13
Summary: everyone needs a lucky charm sometimes, especially when you're Sarah Connor and when you've nothing to lose.
Spoilers: missing scene for 2x03 'Mouse trap'
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own them; they belong to FOX television and Warner Brothers.
Notes: Thanks to lj user="gsr-rocks" /, who beta-read this for me.

Sarah was throwing guns and every other weapon within her reach in a huge army bag, her mind racing with thoughts and heavy with worry. Charley's phone call had made her heart constrict in pain and her blood was running cold. He had sounded so lost, his voice unsteady as he tried to suppress the sobbing and the tears. It was affecting and she had made her decision instantly, though she had to appear hard and disinterested, because John had observed her reactions curiously.

"There's something alive up there," Cameron said in her direction from the living room. When Sarah looked up shortly she could see the terminator standing in front of the fire place, gazing upwards into the chimney with her head almost disappearing completely in it.

"Is it something that can hurt us?" Sarah asked absent-mindedly, still stashing guns into the bag and checking in the process that they were all fully loaded. It was the only thought that entered her mind, the only thing that mattered.

What kind of danger could possibly be lurking in the darkness of their chimney?

"It's a bird. I'll kill it before it flies away," Cameron answered indifferently and without hesitation, her hand already reaching for the gun, which she had tucked behind her back in the waist band of her jeans.

It took Sarah a second to register what the terminator had just told her. "No," she said sharply, not willing to let herself be distracted by the girl. Now was not the time. She was running on autopilot, her body and mind completely in fighting mode.

"Maybe later?" Cameron wanted to know with a hint of hope in her voice, looking at her expectantly and with fake innocence. It was very deceiving. Sometimes Sarah fell for it, when the girl was looking at her with such a lovely expression, despite the fact that Cameron annoyed her with questions like that and that the terminator kind of seemed to enjoy it in her own weird way. Sometimes she had the impression that Cameron was annoying her with purpose.

"Maybe never," Sarah answered, giving the girl a swift stern look. If the situation weren't so serious, she would have been amused by Cameron's odd interest in killing a harmless, ordinary bird. Or she would have been concerned.

She tossed the bag over her shoulder and walked over to Cameron. "John's going to buy computers today. Go with him. Do not let him out of your sight." Those were strict and simple orders and she needed the terminator to understand the importance of them. She couldn't say them often enough.

"Is there anything I need to know?" Cameron watched her closely, her gaze intense and wondering. The terminator could sense that something was off and that Sarah didn't want to tell her what it was. All of the other woman's body systems were on high alert, especially her adrenaline level and a scan of the bag showed that it was filled with weapons. It was very suspicious.

"You need to know not to let him out of your sight," Sarah repeated the most essential thing. Protect my son. In order to do what she had to do, she needed to be sure that John was safe. She needed to be able to trust Cameron, especially when there was the possibility that she might get killed.

They kept on staring at one another for a few moments.

"And don't touch that bird," Sarah added, finally turning away from the terminator and grabbing the door handle.

Of all the reasons, it was the unexpected twinge of longing that made her flee from Cameron. The sudden urge to kiss her, just once, had hit her out of nowhere. It was bewildering and more than just inappropriate in many different ways. It wasn't the first time that she had wanted to kiss and touch the girl, but it never had been this strong and intense before.

Cameron considered for a second to tell Sarah that she didn't need to touch the bird to kill it, she could easily shoot it from her current position, but Sarah's behavior and her risen bioelectric signals told her to keep that thought to herself.

With one last look at Cameron, Sarah left the house through the back door and hurried over to the jeep, spotting Derek in front of the garage.

"Cromartie's got Charley Dixon's wife," She shouted, providing him only with the main information. The clock was ticking and still she somehow wasn't able to shake off the thought of Cameron's big brown eyes, sometimes full of wonders, questions and life… like they were reaching out for her.

That's ridiculous, Sarah chastised herself. And totally out of line.

"Where's John?" Derek asked. He immediately made the connection that Cromatie had abducted Michelle Dixon and it had nothing to do with her personally, but it wasn't a coincidence either.

"I sent him to get the new computers. He's with Cameron. They don't know." Sarah threw the bag into the back of the jeep. It was surely for the better of it that they didn't find out what was going on. Especially John. He would only blame himself and think that it was all his fault. He already had to deal with a lot of stuff; he didn't need to feel additionally guilty for Michelle's kidnapping.

"Well, where are you going?" Derek wanted to know, one eyebrow raised questioningly. He was sure that he already knew the answer but he had to ask her anyways. There was still the chance that he might be wrong.

"You know where I'm going. Come if you want," Sarah told him, her tone determined and giving him no space for putting her decision into question. There was nothing to discuss; she would go with or without him. Besides, there was no time for second thoughts. She had to act fast as time was running out for Charley's wife, if it wasn't too late for her by now.

"You can't go," Derek told her in an equally resolved voice. He couldn't believe that Sarah would even consider it to go, leaving her son behind protected only by a terminator. Those things couldn't be trusted an inch and particularly not with the life of the future leader of mankind.

A smile without any humor touched Sarah's lips. "And yet I am." It didn't surprise her that Derek wasn't able to understand that she plainly had to go. She owed it to Charley to at least try to save his wife, even though she was probably dead. If that was the case, Sarah wanted to be with him so that he wouldn't have to find out alone.

"It's a ploy to get John. It's a trap," Derek explained to her, wondering how Sarah could ignore the obvious and storm blindly into the situation like a lamb to the slaughter.

"I know that. You don't see John here, do you?" Sarah was getting annoyed with him. Did he really think that she was stupid enough to not realize what the plan was behind all of it? Derek should know her better by now. She would never risk John's life like that and if she risked her own, it was her decision only and she wouldn't let him judge her.

But Sarah wasn't only irritated because of Derek, she was frustrated with herself. It wasn't easy to completely concentrate on the mission lying ahead, when her mind was constantly drifting back to Cameron. She had this problem for quite a long while now and today was no exception. But she had to stop to keep thinking of the girl's always slightly pouting lips. It wasn't helpful at all.

"It's the absolute wrong thing to do," Derek objected further, even though it was pointless. Once Sarah had made a decision, she stuck to it stubbornly. There was nothing he could do about it.

Sarah couldn't argue with that, he was right. It was wrong, stupid and way too dangerous, but there was no other choice. At least not for her.

She wondered whether she would see her son again, whether she would make it out of it alive and come home to her family. In all likelihood she would die. There was practically no chance that she could take out a terminator like Cromatie all by herself and worst of it, she was willingly taking the risk to get killed.

Sarah wondered whether she would see Cameron again, whether she would continue to only watch her secretly or if she ever would overcome the doubts and fears and take a step towards the girl instead of keep on pushing her away.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Sarah told him, casting a yearning look at the house "Hurry up if you want to come with me. I'll be back in a minute, I've forgotten something."

And with that she ran back to the house as fast as she could. It was just another decision she had made spontaneously and based on her gut instinct. This might be her last chance and she wouldn't pass it up. She had already missed so many opportunities, had held herself back and even denied herself to start thinking about Cameron in certain ways.

If she died today it would make no difference and she could at least say that she had been brave enough to throw all her concerns overboard and that she had acted on her feelings, instead of ignoring them. If she unexpectedly survived… well, she would think of something then, probably pretend that it never happened, yell at the terminator for no particular reason and avoid her even more for a while.

But the possible consequences didn't count right now. It wasn't the mission and it wasn't John that mattered at this moment either. It wouldn't be the end of the world if it was her, who mattered for once and that it were her needs that came first if only for a couple of minutes. She wanted something for herself and no one could deny her that. After all she was just a normal human being.

Sarah burst through the back door and she barely slowed down when she rushed over to Cameron, who was still standing by the chimney. Without saying a word she simply grabbed the girl's shoulders, smashing their bodies and their lips together with force.

Cameron could have absorbed the power of the collision easily; instead she allowed it to be pushed by the other woman against the rough bricks of the chimney and wrapped her arms around Sarah's body in response, drawing her closer.

It squeezed all the breath out of Sarah's lungs but she didn't care. It felt like the long built-up tension and hidden desire was setting her body on fire and left her mind in a clouded state. She kissed Cameron hungrily, her fingers buried deep into her hair and she pressed her body firmly against the girl.

To Sarah's surprise, Cameron offered no resistance. It was quite the opposite. She didn't expect her to be so responsive and that she would return the kiss with the same enthusiasm. A satisfied moan escaped her when the terminator willingly parted her lips and allowed her to explore her mouth with her tongue, deepening the kiss further.

Cameron followed her lead without faltering, though she kept her hands steady on Sarah's waist, not exactly sure how the other woman would react if she took some more initiative. It wasn't her lack of experience that held her back, in fact she had no experience at all, but she was still confident she would be able to fulfil every desire and expectation Sarah might have. She had seen a lot of movies, read enough books, and what was referred to as "femslash fanfictions" on the internet to be considered well informed. It definitely had its advantages to be in no need of sleep.

What held her back was the risk that it would startle Sarah and that it would make her aware of what she was doing, which would likely result in the end of their current activity. Cameron was just starting to process what kissing and especially being kissed by Sarah Connor stirred inside of her.

It caused a phenomenon, which was alien and thrilling for her. So far unused programs were opening and first of all it unlocked the mechanical suppressor of feelings. It was a gift of the future John. It was overwhelming and powerful, still the last thing she wanted to do was to stop.

Sarah wasn't able to think straight and her body acting on its own accord. Her hands were roaming freely over Cameron's body, mapping her curves, bathing in the warmth and softness of her skin. It felt even better than in her imagination, where she had already pictured it smooth like the skin of a baby.

One of Sarah's hands found its way under Cameron's shirt, her fingertips brushed over the well defined muscles of the terminator's abdomen which made them quiver in return. Sarah was surprised and delighted that Cameron reacted to her touch like this and answered with a shudder of her own, the unbroken kiss was becoming more and more heated.

Cameron could feel how the bricks were scraping her back raw, she was bleeding from several small cuts, but it was insignificant. All of her processing capacity was busy with Sarah and the things she did to her, evoked in her.

"Fuck," Sarah swore breathless when she briefly detached her lips from Cameron's. As desire was raging through her whole body like a fever, she realized how aroused and wet she was. She had to stop right now; otherwise she wouldn't be able to stop at all and would probably go all the way with Cameron before she even realized what was happening.

Still the temptation was too big and Sarah couldn't restrain herself completely. Hesitantly at first and then with a little more confidence she covered Cameron's breast with one hand, whilst she used the other one on the back of her neck to glue the girl's lips to hers once more.

Sarah was totally lost in the kiss and in the sensation of touching Cameron. She felt how Cameron's nipple turned into a hard peak, pressing against her thumb and when Sarah heard her gasp, it almost made her come. Right there in the living room, with John only a few meters away in his room, Cromatie holding Charley's wife hostage and another cybernetic organism snuggling her, making her head spin and her knees wobbly.

It wasn't easy to end the kiss but Sarah had already lost too much time and she knew that she would regret it even more that she had kissed Cameron if she were too late to save Charley's wife. Gently, Sarah pulled back from the girl, her hands holding Cameron's face and their bodies still close to each other.

Cameron gazed at Sarah wide-eyed, her expression something between scepticism and a barely visible smile. She didn't dare to show what their interaction meant to her, because she really felt like grinning like a Cheshire cat and that was a little bit intimidating. So Cameron decided that she should learn more about these new feelings first, before she started to express them. Her relationship with Sarah had been unsteady from the second they had met; it would only endanger the fragile ties of friendship, which they had developed during the last weeks.

"For good luck," Sarah explained before Cameron could say or ask anything, panting and smiling faintly, brushing with one finger over her cheekbone tenderly.

"Like a lucky charm?" Cameron wanted to know, searching Sarah's face for answers she knew she wouldn't get from her. When Sarah was ready, she would come to her like she just did.

Sarah considered the girl's comment for a moment. "Yes, just like a lucky charm," she confirmed, her smile broadening at the idea. She thought that it was kind of sweet of Cameron to see it that way. "I'm sorry, but I really have to go." Tucking a strand of hair behind Cameron's ear, she finally let go of her and brought some steps between them. The distance would help her to clear her mind. When she had almost reached the door, Sarah glanced back at her.

"I can come with you and protect you," Cameron offered as a strong urge of protectiveness washed over her. At least this was a feeling she was familiar with. She had always felt protective towards John and Sarah; it was part of her programming, but the intensity had reached a completely new level.

Sarah turned around, shaking her head. "That's not your mission. You have to stay with John and keep him safe. Promise me that." How she whished she could take Cameron with her, knowing that the terminator was fighting right beside her always made her feel watched over, assuring her that she was not alone in this.

"Promise," Cameron affirmed her instantly. The mechanical suppressor of her feelings was automatically reactivating itself and there was nothing she could do against it. After all, the mission always came first and getting emotionally involved only made things more complicated than they already were, even she knew that.

Their eyes met again for a last, fleeting moment.

"Thanks," Sarah said and meant it. She left the house in a hurry, running back to the jeep where Derek was sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for her.

"Ready?" he wanted to know, eyeing her curiously and considering whether she had finally lost it or if she fully understood what she was getting herself into.

"Ready," Sarah confirmed, fastening her seat belt and starting the engine.

Sarah was grateful that Derek didn't try to make small talk or to change her mind; he was sitting beside her silently and stared out of the window. She used the time to follow her own train of thoughts.

She knew that people in extreme situations had the tendency to react in extreme ways, but kissing Cameron had been a pretty radical reaction. Sooner or later she would have to deal with the consequences. However, her whole life was one big damn extreme situation, so it put having feelings for a certain terminator into perspective.

*****

As Sarah had disappeared through door, Cameron stood still for a while, just replaying and reliving the last minutes over and over again in her head. There were also many questions. Why had she kissed her? Would Sarah do it again? What did it mean and most importantly would she regret it later? Even with an extensive psychological analysis of Sarah's character, she wasn't able to calculate the most likely reaction and behaviour. Sarah Connor was an unsolved puzzle to her.

The one thing Cameron could answer for herself was, that she would kiss Sarah again at any time and that there was no regret. Not for kissing the other woman though. There was a tiny sting of quilt when she turned back to the chimney. The bird was lying dead in the fireplace. She had shot it with a silencer positioned to her gun just seconds after Sarah had left the house for the first time.

"It's your own fault," Cameron told the bird, thinking about why she had killed the animal. It certainly hadn't been a threat.

When she had finished analysing the previous events, which had let to the death of a bird, it made her tilt her head questioningly. Once evaluated, the reason was quite simple. It had actually stung a little that Sarah didn't trust her enough to tell her what was really going on, she had excluded her and Cameron had let out her anger and frustration on an innocent bird. There was probably something wrong with one of her systems and she would run several check-ups later.

Cameron heard John's footsteps behind her, entering the living room.

"Alright, let's go and get the computers," he said, grabbing the keys and his jacket, going over to her. "What the hell…? Why's there a dead bird in the fireplace?"

"Because it fell down when I shot it," Cameron answered honestly, earning a befuddled look from John. "I was frustrated with a puzzle I can't solve." The terminator had learned that a white lie was sometimes better than the truth and it seemed appropriate using one to explain the dead animal.

"Huh, must be quite a tricky puzzle, if even you can't solve it that easily. But don't worry, Cam, I'm sure you'll get to it," he assured her, scratching his head and still frowning at the bird. "We should get rid of it, before Mum sees it and freaks. I'll get a garbage bag," John said and left for the kitchen.

A tiny smile crept on Cameron's lips. She decided that she liked the challenge of a tricky puzzle and the prospect of solving the one called Sarah Connor was exciting.

THE END