"We'll come dancing with devils,
Need not know their names,
And we'll waltz like an army,
For the fear of our pain..."
Things went by in a rush after he left. Everything was a constant swirl of blending colors, all leading up to black. His gaze stopped being focused, and words didn't cut through to him anymore. Things he had learned years ago became reinforced, feelings that he had buried long ago sprang back up to the surface. He, in his own way, had become broken. It was then and truly then, he realized; he had learned what a broken heart was.
He walked through the village in the rain, when he knew that no one would disturb him. It reminded him of the time they had walked through the rain. That had been one of the only times he'd spoken out rightly to him, and told him things he knew he'd never told anyone else. In fact, it was the last time he'd spoken to him….
He narrowed his eyes quickly, and tried to calm his aggravated breathing. He wasn't going to do this again. He'd promised himself he was going to get himself through this, and not fall back into his own personal hell, into that dark place that he knew if he fell into, he would never come out of again. There weren't any more chances for him. Perhaps, that was the reason he'd left. He'd felt as though there hadn't been any more chances for him here.
He bit his lip hard and clenched his fists, closing his eyes quickly. If he did come back…. he closed the thought from his mind. He just kept taking steps backward. If he wanted to live, he needed to forget about him.
But to heal, he needed him.