Hola everyone! I thought it would be a little while until I would come up with another fanfiction when after only just a few days ago; I posted a personal fanfic on another site. I doubt I'll post it until the whole Tech shooting blows over. Oops. Er, now you know why I'm not posting it. Anyway! This fanfic is dedicated to NotoriousNumbnut, because you were curious on what my thoughts would be on the use of Sakaki's last name. Not too mention, you alerted the one-shot, so I might as well not disappoint you.
Oh, before I start, if you are against SakakixKagura with great hate, don't bother reading anymore. I will not go with flames if it's just about my opinion on couples and how you disagree on it. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own any character mentioned in this story, nor do I know anyone who does. They belong to Kiyohiko Azuma and ADV films. I also don't own the selected lyrics. They belong to Maaya Sakamoto.
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Hello... I wrote you a letter from Heaven
Visiting had become routine nowadays. The hospital workers would greet almost like she was an employee there. It was a rather depressing sight for her, since she absolutely despised hospitals. She remembered being forced into the white graveyard when her parents would be gone and she would stay with her uncle.
She swore her entire family consisted of conservative workaholics.
And that was what she feared the most when she was younger as an immature child who had yet to understand the values of living. Even so, she had learned at young age that a sense of right and wrong was always blurred by the people around you. That things were not simply the black and white always boasted on the TV these days. Her feelings matured far too quickly for her own age, for more reasons than just one. It wasn't exactly negligence. Maybe it was the fact that she never got the chance to know her parents as well as she should. She had vowed to stir the other way from putting constant loneliness on anyone, even herself.
She didn't know that she wouldn't have a choice with the barrier around herself. It was gradual at first; so slow that it had taken her years to realize it. At first, she would just notice different things in the wrong people, small things like the feel of the hair of a girl's classmate or how someone moves.
There was always something different about her and, in a way, it started sparks into her own heart. But, no, she could never speak a word, for her parents would never have it. They spoke often of their hatred and their disapproval when she was around. It almost seemed like it was intended on her, beaten to her until it fixed inside her head.
But like the definite line, it never did the final blow.
While it did not destroy her will, it destroyed her desire for company. Loneliness was a painful blade, obligated to kill the sanity laid out before her. The fear had awakened as a ravenous beast that raged at her very bones. It sunk its long claws into her throat, drowning out her throat with the very blood of her family—the very fear of it. She hid inside of herself, keeping a distance.
Formality was the best distance to have and no one would question it. Most of the time anyway.
Even now, her hands still shook every time she entwined her pale fingers with the once bronze, callous skin of the woman that slept below her. Prayer never helped the everlasting dreams, eternal to the living that vainly waited for the slumbering to return.
The declaration made, even today, still confused her, but oddly enough, turned out to be the brightest decision in her life. They had friends then, but she was the only one to come as close to the barrier as to shatter the glass.
Kagura had calmed the beast and like her current body, left it in a deep slumber.
It wasn't just the security that Kagura helped with; it was her confidence as well. The confidence she wore was to be admired and it mirrored off anything that she touched. What she did was always paved with good intentions, no matter how unpredictable (or costly) it may be.
In a way, she had helped with the most forlorn conflict in her mind: the truth that stayed forever in her heart, waiting to be awakened for the morning that was to come. It was the love of her parents that kept her silent and away, but it was a love of another that had waken her up to the other shades that were in the whites and in the blacks, adding to the elements that made up her life.
The complex of life was not only the shades in between black and white, but the shades in the white and blacks itself. Kagura had let her into the true world and for a moment, she didn't care what would happen to her.
She remembered when she finally broke one day and confessed everything to Kagura. They were at the park then and it was just an off hand conversation after Kagura had shared with her something—interesting, she guessed.
It started with something casual, one that neither would've guessed to have gone so personally. They had lived practically in the same neighborhood during their high school years, so reminiscence of the strange events that normally occurred in their own lives. One event in particular got both of them started, she guessed, and it was one that had awaken old wounds to the shorter girl.
It was almost ironic that it was her parents that had spread rumors about the strange boy that had lived in the swimmer's home. While her parents scorned, she had felt empathetic towards the tragedy in a morose feeling as she usually did since she had discovered her "problem" as her parents often described it. They had never spoken of the death inside the home, however, but she could hear and she could feel.
It was only natural what be the return when she saw the streaks that ran down her glorified tan cheeks, detailing the devotion she had made to a dead man. It was more fear that grasped her breath, however as she remembered how difficult it was to breathe with the lump in her throat. There were so many things that worried her; so many little needles that jabbed at her ribcage in hopes for the final downfall.
Not once had she considered the relieved laughter that followed. Not at all and it felt comforting to her ears when she tilted her head to see the tears at the light chocolate eyes, but not one of despair.
She was laughing so hard that she was crying!
In a way, that was a jumpstart to what they had with each other. Love had become a weak word in recent days, one word that was so difficult to describe anything anymore, but it was enough for them. Even the fear of the beasts returning didn't matter to her anymore. It was no surprise that her parent had disowned her afterwards, but it was something that she had easily overcome.
Maybe, in the end, that was what she wanted anyway.
She had overlooked one problem. One that had been with her before she had even realized. It had shocked her how much damage someone so kind was capable of doing; in fact, it almost terrified her. One motion with a knife and she left her there to bleed. (1)
She didn't need it; didn't want it to happen. Not even the assault, but forgiveness was a hard thing to pull, even for one like her. Not that it mattered anymore anyway. A lost cause. They had already told her that, but it wouldn't stop the visits she would make everyday.
They said it would be soon, but she refused to believe it. No mattering how morose it was to hear the constant beeps of a monitor, only reminding her of the date that was to come, she would still be here.
For her.
She hadn't realized until now the water that was staining her cheeks. Had it really bothered her this bad? She should've been used to the tightness at her chest, but she guessed some things were different. She should've known as even the sleeping Kagura had taught her that. At least happiness was there…
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Even if I who have become transparent someday lose my sins and my name
I won't forget that I was happy…
Kagura never enjoyed seeing that side of her.
It wasn't much different than her normally composed one, but she never usually wore her emotions on her sleeves. It was an odd sort of bond the two had, but it was nothing compared to their friends. Nonetheless, they had kept low-key. Maybe that was why it bothered her to see her vulnerable in public.
She understood what the cat lover was feeling at that point, however and even when dead and gone, she still felt the stab at her chest. She should be doing something for her, or not even be in that situation, going out for ice cream instead. That was like a past time for them when they had a break from classes. They both had high goals for themselves, so even with their relationship, they kept themselves busy.
As long as they were there, it didn't matter for them.
"Would you like to say goodbye to her?" She briefly nodded her head, just enough for the illuminating angel to see behind her. If she had a choice, she would stay, but she guessed things don't always work out as you liked. The swimmer knew that well. Almost too well for it to be a joke anymore.
Was it ever a joke in the first place?
She couldn't feel the ground below her now, but the turmoil in her own heart was very real. Torn between two desires that lay out before her when really, she just wanted to stay there, keeping careful watch of someone she loved.
Gliding over to the bed to get a better look at Sakaki didn't help either. The closed eyes that hid everything until they had became friends and even then, they wouldn't be each other unless they kept something to themselves. To see her bare was strange that it left her empty-feeling for some reason.
A morose sigh didn't even seem to suffice well enough. She laced her fingers on the palest of skin, rubbing along the wet surface as her eyes leaked in pain as well. She couldn't tell if her lover had known all along that she wasn't there, but she didn't want to think about it. She could only grimace for the life that was ahead for the cat lover.
…or that I loved you…
She stood from her place at the bed with a new resolved. She would watch her from where she would stay and keep her safe. If she was dead than maybe things were going to be different for her, a turn of luck from the misfortune that conspired between them. She would have to make sure. Her eyes fell onto the long silk hair before she stepped into the world of the dead where Gabriel was waiting for her.
Golden days are waiting on those shining cheeks…
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Longest one-shot I've ever done so far—or two shot if you include Pride. Yes, after finishing this I've decided that this is the direct sequel of it. Before I get anything, it's safe to assume that a majority of the Azu gang are Christian since they celebrate Christmas. I'm sorry if this has offended anyone. Well, the central theme of both of them is probably finding resolution in another like what happened in both stories. Originally, "Hello" had nothing to do with it. In fact, if it weren't for the song, I probably would've had Kagura wake up. Blame Maaya Sakamoto if you were looking for something more up-lifting from me. ; Which would be weird, since I have only written one humor-based fanfic for the genre.
Oh, speaking of which, I might put that one on Hiatus. Sorry Tobi! I just have some other things I want to work with. I hope I didn't make it too hard to know that Kagura was in a coma.
(1): Reference to Koarin.
