Yeah, umm, since when did I update on here..? Gah, I finally sat down and went through the story and fixed most of the spelling errors (I hope) and have also dug out my will to finish this. And well, yeah, that's it. Thanks to all who took their time to read and to those who reviewed! You made my day, honestly! ^__^

Well, on with the story!

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My dearest friends...

First I will say that I love you all very much.

You are the light in my life, the light of hope that keeps me going when I'd rather give up. And so, I am sorry to say this, and you will probably be shocked and upset to hear that if you read this I've taken my own life.

Well...that is what I intend to do anyway, but you have to know that this is not your fault! I have taken my life for I wish not to live anymore.

I still love you all very much and I hope you will remember me...You will all have a special place in my heart which no one can take away.

With love,

Seras Victoria.

-'-'-'-

My dear Master.

Well, if you are reading this I am dead or soon will be, and that I no longer will be in your way again. You must feel relieved, since you have always hated me, mocked me, and done all sort of things to hurt me and show me that you don't care. Well, then I'll ask you this: why did you turn me? If I was such an irritating element in your life, then why did you turn me?

I really don't understand that, cause until now my (after)life has been twice as bad as it was before.

I know that I have let both you and Sir Integra down, and that I have screwed things up really bad, but I honestly did the best I could!

Obviously it was not enough and I am truly sorry.

But now you might wonder why I decided to take my life and where I might be, but that I will not tell you. I want to die alone in peace, somewhere nice and quiet. Not that you would care anyway...

I only have one thing left to tell you and it is one of the hardest to tell because it is so unnatural. Since you have caused me so much pain, it is so absurd that I love you... I love you with all my heart and soul. I don't know why I feel this and it's totally sick but I just do. It's strange really, because I should really hate you, for what you have done to me, but I can't. And I have wondered why. I still don't know the answer but now it's too late anyway.

I know you don't love me back, and that you will never respect me as an equal, and that really hurts! It hurts so bad that it feels like I'm going to explode and I can't live with it anymore! I just can't!

Surely you must have known this would happen eventually? You always read my mind to find something to mock me about. You probably think suicide is a coward's way to go down, but I don't care. Now at least I won't have to worry about impressing you and do my best. Not that I ever achieved that anyway...

Even though I should hate you with all I have, I don't, and I really hope your life will be better now that I'm gone.

With heart and soul, forever yours,

Seras Victoria.

-'-'-'-'-

Seras stopped writing, brushing away a tear of blood from her cheek, and put the letters in separate envelopes. One to her fellow teammates, and one for her Master. She had not written to Sir Integra or Walter yet, but she would do it later, after she had had some sleep.

She smiled a sad smile. Looking at the letters she thought about her rather miserably life, and that it soon would be over. She would finally get the peace she deserved. Still she would miss a lot of people, but this was the only way, she had to do it. For her own sake.

I deserve to get some peace! I deserve some respect for crying out loud!A tear found its way down her cheek, and angry she wiped it away with her hand. I won't cry! I just won't! Not for him, not for anyone!

She closed her eyes for a moment, determined not to cry and opened them slowly. She found her way to her dresser and put on her pajama, brushed her hair and went for the bathroom. As she walked out of her room she forgot the letters on the wooden table. She also did not notice the crimson eyes that stared at her from the shadowed corner of her room as she left...

Alucard walked out of the shadows as Seras closed the door. He stood in the room, looking around through his orange sunglasses, his crimson eyes searching the room when he saw two letters on the wooden table. Hmm...What is my little police girl up to now? She don't have any relatives alive as far as I know, never have she mentioned any either...He walked over to the table and picked up the envelopes. To his surprise he saw his name written beautifully on one of them in red ink, while the other one said: Hellsing Staff. Curious, which he wasn't very often, he opened the envelope with his name on.

As he was about to take the letter out of the envelope, he heard footsteps outside the door and Seras walked in.

When Seras saw her master stand there, in the middle of her room, she stopped dead in her tracks a look of surprise on her face. «M..m..master, what are you doing here?» She asked a bit frightened. Was he there to have a go at her again?Then her eyes fell upon the envelope in his hand and panic struck her. Nooo! Oh God! What now?? Did he read it?? No..If he did then he wouldn't just stand there...right? Adrenalin rushed through her system and without thinking she threw herself forward, snatching the letter from a slightly shocked Alucard, and at the same time caused said vampire to lose his balance. They both fell to the floor and hit it with a loud bang.

Seras had closed her eyes and was slowly opening them. To her surprise she sat on top of Aluard's stomach, holding on to the envelope for dear life. Meanwhile, Alucard was spread on the floor, and as she looked at his face he had a strange look, something between amused and shocked. His sunglasses and hat had fallen of and were spread on the floor.

She couldn't help but notice how beautiful his eyes where, those crimson eyes could lure you in and take you deep...make you drown in the red...the red color of blood...

With a yelp she realized she had been staring and she blushed furiously. «I'm so sorry Master!» she piped and stood up rather fast. «It's okay» he said, his voice sounding really strange. «You sure took me by surprise» He smiled one of those signature smiles of his, «but I assure you, it won't happen again!» His smile grew wider and scarier, «Why don't you want me to read the letter? It has my name on it» His eyes narrowed, as he waited for an answer.

Most of all, he wanted to read her mind because there was always such fun, but he saw she had a really nervous and frightened look on her pretty face, a look he almost never saw on her. This will be interesting...

Seras was still clinging to the letter, like it was a treasure of unimaginable proportions. She was afraid, or, rather scared to death, even though she was already dead...but you know what I mean.

What was she supposed to say?

As she looked into those enchanting, mysterious eyes, she went totally blank. «I..I can't tell you» is all that came out of her mouth.

She saw an eyebrow being raised at her words, and she was certain he would read her mind, but nothing happened. Why isn't he reading my mind? Can he sense something is wrong? Probably...Then why isn't he reading my mind? ...Oh...he wants me to tell him... as if!

So they just stood there and stared at eachother.

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Ok, all done, hope I got all the spelling errors, if not, don't hesitate to tell me! And thanks for reading! :D