Good Intentions

A Tales of Symphonia/Abyss oneshot crossover

By Mandi

Prompts: Battle of the Boobs, lamp, flower pot, mannequin, sausage pillow

A/N: Well, it's finished. The winner of the prompt war is the one who has the most reviews by the time we put up the next prompt (who knows when that will be?) so… vote as you will. Opposing prompt can be found on our profile page.

Warning: Akzeriuth-ish spoilers for TotA and big, honking, whole-freaking-game spoilers for ToS.

--

"Kratos, are you sure this is right?"

The redhead looked up. "Hm?"

Anna sighed. "I asked if this is the right place. It looks just like the field we've been trudging through all day."

Kratos took a moment to scan the surrounding area. They were currently seated in a huge expanse of plain, slowly falling into darkness, that really did look like the field they'd been 'trudging through all day'. Kratos took in all of this, and gave Anna a curt nod.

Anna seemed unconvinced. "Well, what the hell makes this patch of grass any different than that one over there?" She pointed irritably.

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Is something the matter?"

"Well, I'm a little anxious," Anna admitted, perhaps with a touch of sarcasm. "I mean, Kratos, you're telling me to just leave the world I grew up in for… for… for Tay-Thalla??"

The redhead silently settled himself beside the woman. He placed an arm around his wife's shoulders, and she gratefully leaned into the embrace. "It's Tethe'alla, and it's the safest place for you and Lloyd right now. The Desians can't find us there. We just have to wait for a full moon for the Gate to open and-"

"Des-aw-een?"

Anna and Kratos both looked up in surprise to where Lloyd had abandoned his game with Noishe to speak. He smiled cheerfully at his parents, who were both a bit unsettled with this new addition to their son's vocabulary.

"What was that, Lloyd?" Kratos asked, trying to use the child-friendly tone he had – even after two years of fatherhood - never really been able to perfect

"Saw-sage pillow," Lloyd replied solemnly.

Anna giggled. Her Lloyd was adding to his limited speech every day now. Why, just yesterday he chirped out "Asgard", "grasshopper", "flower pot", and one rather unfortunate word that Anna had really only let slip once. She smiled proudly at her son.

Just then, something caught her eye, and the brunette glanced up… and let out a shriek.

"Holy crap, Kratos! Look at that!"

"Wha-?" Kratos glanced around wildly, reaching for his sword automatically. "What is it??"

Anna pointed, and Kratos turned.

"Oh. That."

"That" was an extremely bright, greenish light that had quite suddenly begun pouring down from the heavens. It was concentrated into a puddle no more than three feet in diameter, which sparkled and caught Lloyd's eye immediately. He scrambled towards it.

"Is that the Otherworldly Gate?" Anna tentatively asked, quickly scooping Lloyd into the safety of her arms. The little boy protested loudly, but his mother was far too interested in the Gate to pay him any mind.

Kratos took a carefully measured step towards the light, scratching his chin thoughtfully after re-sheathing his sword. "Hm… it wasn't supposed to appear until a full moon, but we are in the right place…"

"Well, it's not like magical green lights fall out of the sky everyday, is it?" Anna asked mockingly.

Kratos opened his mouth to respond, but then thought better of it. Four thousand years worth of living offered several answers to that question, but now wasn't really a good time to share them.

Instead, Kratos scooped the squirming Lloyd into his own arms, summoning up a tiny light-based spell to his fingers to entertain the child, and offered Anna his laconic answer: "Let's go."

And so they did.

--

"I-I think that's the last of them," Tear announced, rather winded, to her companions.

The remainder of the small group erupted into sighs of relief and exhaustion as they skidded to a halt. Anise immediately dropped to the ground, her small chest heaving as she gasped for breath, and the action was soon imitated by Guy, Luke, Ion, and Natalia (although the latest made it look much more dainty).

"Oh, dear," Jade remarked as he carefully adjusted his glasses, seemingly much more relaxed than his comrades. "That was quite an exciting little adventure, wasn't it?"

"Adventure?" Natalia repeated incredulously. "Colonel, we were chased by an angry mob for two days!"

"TWO DAYS!!" Guy shrieked, quite beside himself.

"Oh, you kids have no sense of humor," Jade replied. The younger acquaintances could find no answer to this, so they fell into silence.

Said silence prevailed for several long minutes as the group sprawled about in various states of exhaustion and numerous orange gels were consumed.

"So…" Ion spoke up quietly, and everyone leaned in his general direction to listen. "What exactly happened back there?"

"I'll tell you what happened," Anis began, her voice dripping with rage. "Guy went and made a mess of things!"

"What? Me??" the swordsman cried indignantly.

"You're the one who knocked over that lamp!"

"That wasn't my fault! Natalia-"

"Guy!" Natalia interrupted, her voice rising with anger. "I know you didn't just accuse me of starting that fire!"

Guy visibly shrank away. "O-o-of course not, Y-Your Highness…"

"Hey, guys, let's not fight-"

"Shut up, Luke!" snapped the arguing companions, as well as Jade (who really just enjoyed yelling at Luke), all of whom ignored the fact that Ion had spoken up as well. You really just couldn't yell at the Fon Master.

Startled, Luke stumbled several steps backwards, holding his hands up defensively. Seconds later, the young nobleman collided with someone lurking behind him.

"Oof!" squeaked the mysterious someone. Luke spun around to find himself facing a brown-haired woman he had never seen before, nor had seen coming.

"Oh, shi-!" he hopped backwards. "Guys, I think some of that mob's still after us! …guys?"

Luke turned to find that his "friends" were now too involved in their argument to pay the replica and his discovery any mind.

This made Luke frown. Tear and Jade always ripping on him for being too "difficult" or something, and yet here he was, busting his ass to preserve the peace, while they got to have all the fun fighting. Life wasn't fair. Well, at least the haircut looked good.

"Wow, Kratos, look!" The woman's voice knocked Luke back to reality. "It's daytime here!"

The replica turned to see that the brunette had since been joined by a tall, auburn-haired man who was holding a restless child in one arm and shushing his female companion with the other.

"Excuse me," the tall man spoke. "It would seem that my wife and I are a bit lost. Could you help us?"

Luke opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it, then shut it again. His mind was churning as he sought out the most helpful answer. He could say that he was lost too (being chased by a mob for two days did that), but that would be unhelpful. He could make something up, but that would be lying. Luke growled; making other people happy was so hard!

"Hey, you!" Anise's voice saved Luke from any response. She jumped before Luke and grabbed the stranger's hand in a manner that only a little girl could get away with. "Help us figure something out, would you?"

"Anna, wait! I don't think this is Tethe-" the woman's husband broke off, seeing that it was too late; his wife had already been dragged off by Anise, demanding that she determine who's blunder had lead to the group's two-day chase.

Luke watched the tall man heave a sigh as the child in his arms punched his long fingers ceaselessly, as though expecting something to sprout from them. At last, the nobleman spoke.

"Cute kid. Can I pet your dog?"

--

"Okay, I think I've got it," Anna announced at last, raising her arms for order amongst the bickering congregation.

Kratos, who had been sulking several yards away where he sat on a log, looked up hopefully, as did the kid sitting beside him. After listening to the group deliberate, the angel had concluded that he really had no idea what world they were in. Which was bad.

"At first," Anna continued. "I thought it was Jade's fault, for announcing to the whole town that a church had been burned down. However, after digging a bit deeper, I came to suspect another."

"Smart woman," Jade commented, somehow sounding ominous and disinterested at the same time.

"I thought then that it must be Guy's fault, for knocking that candle-"

"It was a lamp," Anise corrected.

"Yes, that's what I meant," said Anna, who had never heard the word 'lamp' before in her life. "Anyway, Guy knocked over the lamp, which caught the shop on fire which spread to the church.

"However, it was soon made clear that Guy suffers from an unusual ailment…" Guy hung his head in shame and muttered something about a battle with boobs. "…which, in turn, explains that he was merely reacting in self-defense against-"

"A mannequin?" Natalia inserted dryly.

"A female mannequin," Anna corrected. "That was propelled in his direction by Natalia, who tripped over Anise, who had stooped over to pick up a gald coin. The coin which was pointed out by Tear."

There was silence as everyone tried to figure out who exactly Anna was accusing.

"Plus, we can't forget that it was Ion's idea to visit the shop in the first place," Anna added. Ion shrugged self-consciously.

"… so, who's responsibility is it?" Natalia asked, quite confused by now.

"The guild here," Anna said, smiling proudly at her conclusion. "Lies with-"

"Me."

Everyone looked up in surprise. Luke stood before them, with a thumb jerked towards himself and a toddler clinging to his shoe.

"Luke?" Guy repeated, confused.

"Yeah, it was my fault," Luke shrugged sadly. "I caused more trouble for you guys. I'm just a worthless, trouble-making, hopeless, reject replica."

Everyone paused to ponder this. Then, as one, the nobleman's friend nodded.

"You're right, Luke, it is your fault!" Natalia exclaimed, furious. "First Akzeriuth, then my lunchmeat, and now this!"

"Really, Luke! I thought you were going try to change!" Tear admonished. Luke cringed.

"W-wait a second!" Anna stammered, being free of past biases and therefore capable of thinking logically. "You all just told me that Luke was on the other side of town, looking for-"

Before Anna could make her point heard, however, a hand took hold of her elbow and dragged her away from the pack.

"Come on," Kratos muttered in the brunette's ear. "We clearly aren't in Tethe'alla. We've got to get back to Sylvarant."

"But, Kratos-!" Anna objected.

"Let's go, Noishe," Kratos called over his shoulder. The protozoan obediently snapped up a giggling Lloyd by the collar of his shirt before trotting after his master.

--

Back where he was being scolded, ear-pulled, and cold shouldered, Luke glanced out of the corner of his eye to see the quartet hurry off. A weird, warm and fuzzy sort of feeling had begun to grow inside his chest.

He wasn't sure, but Luke thought that he may have just done the right thing.

--

What happened to land the Aurions in this strange world remains a mystery. What is known, to select few at least, is that had the couple waited but three minutes longer to return, the greenish light would have been gone, and they would have been stranded. At least, for a month or so. For which they had Luke and his ability to put himself down to thank.

Of course, if Luke hadn't helped them, the dysfunctional family wouldn't have popped up back in Sylvarant, in a place they soon identified as Iselia Forest, where a certain squinty-eyed Desian just so happened to be taking a nighttime stroll. To which there was a rather unpleasant ending all around.

But don't tell Luke that.