1 Anime Deathmatch
Scene: View of a boxing ring, very reminiscent of professional wrestling with flashing lights and smoke moving across the floor. Relena and Ukyou pop up into view holding microphones.
Relena: Hi folks! *bright smile and twirls hair around finger* You're watching Anime Deathmatch, where your favorites and not-so-favorites duke it out for the right to take home the Anime Deathmatch trophy! *giggle* *camera turns to show huge gold trophy with calligraphy "Anime Deathmatch Champion" written on it, full of variously colored roses. Kodachi is sprinkling something in it, sees camera, and jumps away* Personally, I think Heero *someone in audience yells "Heeeeeeero" and is promptly tackled by the nearby people. Relena glares* is going to win. And when he does, I'm going to run out and give him a big kiss, and then we'll go out to my pink limo and... *giggles some more* *camera turns to see Heero turning green and shuddering. Duo pats his shoulder and hands him a tissue*
Ukyou: Well, Rowena-
Relena: My name is Relena! Ree-lee-na!
Ukyou: *shrug* Whatever. My Ran-chan is going to win. *various female members in the audience glare, Akane tries to jump from her seat and hit Ranma, but is held back by Soun* He's been training, and there's no way your scrawny little boy could beat my Ran-chan. *nods head proudly*
Relena: Blasphemy!! *tackles Ukyou and tries to bite her. Camera turns to Touga with microphone*
Touga: *mad laughter* The world is an EGG! EGG I TELL YOU!!! The revolution is upon us!!! *Akio sprints out with straitjacket, puts it on Touga, and carries him off* *Kasumi comes up in apron and picks Touga's microphone up off the ground*
Kasumi: Oh, hi everyone! *smile* *in background Ukyou smacks Relena across the set with her spatula*
Relena: *flying across screen* HEEEEEEEEEERO- *splats into wall* *camera turns to Heero: snicker*
Kasumi: *camera facing her again* Well, our first match is Anthy versus Akane. *she covers her mouth with one hand* I hope no one is hurt!
Kodachi: *off screen* Yeah, two is better!
*Camera turns to ring. A poof of purple roses explodes in ring, and Anthy appears. Some applause. Someone blows a kazoo, and Akane runs out and flips into ring. A little less applause*
Vash: *over P.A.* Are you ready to ruuuumble?? *crowd goes wild* Then lets get this match started! *bell dings*
*Anthy and Akane start circling each other*
Akane: Are you one of Ranma's fiancées?
Anthy: umm.. I don't swing that way.. And besides.. he's an idiot. *tries to kick Akane, she catches her foot and flips her*
Akane: *turns red* He's a macho insensitive jerk, but I'M the only one that can talk about him! *runs at Anthy, fists flying*
Anthy: *ducks and punches her in the stomach*
Utena: *off screen* YOU GO ANTHY!
Anthy: *turns to face Utena* Do you mean that koi?
Akane: *jumps up from floor, punches her in the jaw, and sweeps her feet out from under her*
Utena: THAT'S A FOUL! Where's the referee?
Legato: *dressed in normal clothes but there's black and white stripes down them* It's clean, no foul! *low chuckle* Yes, the humans will exterminate themselves. *mwa-ah-ah-ah*
Everyone: *nervous glances at each other*
Legato: What?
Anthy: *shrugs and grabs Akane's ankle, pulling her down, then sits on her stomach and proceeds to slap the stuffing out of her*
Akane: *banshee shrieks and pulls a mallet out of hammer-space* *smacks Anthy across the ring and into the ropes*
Crowd: *gasp*
Legato: *in his slow voice* one….two…three-
Akane: *shrieking* CAN'T YOU COUNT ANY FASTER THAN THAT??
Legato: Oh look, you've made me lose my place. One…… two-
Akane: *frothing at the mouth and about to throw her mallet at him*
Legato: *pales* Threefourfivesixseveneightninetenyou'reout! Akane wins!
Akane: *nods to herself and leaves the ring, crowd groaning. Utena leaps from stands and starts chasing Akane holding the sword of Dios*
~~~Commercial Break~~~
Touga: Are you tired? Depressed? Dead? *holds up bottle* All you need is one tablespoon of Touga's World Famous and World Breaking Elixir a day and you're good to go! Why, with this elixir, I can appear in mysterious elevators and scare the crap out of my loved ones, and for just $19.99, you can too! *used car salesman-like grin*
~~~back to the deathmatch~~~
Kasumi: My, wasn't that exciting? *Dr. Tofuu: *nodnodnod* Yes, yes it was Kasumi my dear! * *nervous look* Ooookay then Doctor! Well, the next match is just seconds away, and this one is Ryouga versus Wufei! Good luck guys!
--To make it easier to read, I'm going to break it into sections. *evil grin* The next part comes out soon.
Scene: View of a boxing ring, very reminiscent of professional wrestling with flashing lights and smoke moving across the floor. Relena and Ukyou pop up into view holding microphones.
Relena: Hi folks! *bright smile and twirls hair around finger* You're watching Anime Deathmatch, where your favorites and not-so-favorites duke it out for the right to take home the Anime Deathmatch trophy! *giggle* *camera turns to show huge gold trophy with calligraphy "Anime Deathmatch Champion" written on it, full of variously colored roses. Kodachi is sprinkling something in it, sees camera, and jumps away* Personally, I think Heero *someone in audience yells "Heeeeeeero" and is promptly tackled by the nearby people. Relena glares* is going to win. And when he does, I'm going to run out and give him a big kiss, and then we'll go out to my pink limo and... *giggles some more* *camera turns to see Heero turning green and shuddering. Duo pats his shoulder and hands him a tissue*
Ukyou: Well, Rowena-
Relena: My name is Relena! Ree-lee-na!
Ukyou: *shrug* Whatever. My Ran-chan is going to win. *various female members in the audience glare, Akane tries to jump from her seat and hit Ranma, but is held back by Soun* He's been training, and there's no way your scrawny little boy could beat my Ran-chan. *nods head proudly*
Relena: Blasphemy!! *tackles Ukyou and tries to bite her. Camera turns to Touga with microphone*
Touga: *mad laughter* The world is an EGG! EGG I TELL YOU!!! The revolution is upon us!!! *Akio sprints out with straitjacket, puts it on Touga, and carries him off* *Kasumi comes up in apron and picks Touga's microphone up off the ground*
Kasumi: Oh, hi everyone! *smile* *in background Ukyou smacks Relena across the set with her spatula*
Relena: *flying across screen* HEEEEEEEEEERO- *splats into wall* *camera turns to Heero: snicker*
Kasumi: *camera facing her again* Well, our first match is Anthy versus Akane. *she covers her mouth with one hand* I hope no one is hurt!
Kodachi: *off screen* Yeah, two is better!
*Camera turns to ring. A poof of purple roses explodes in ring, and Anthy appears. Some applause. Someone blows a kazoo, and Akane runs out and flips into ring. A little less applause*
Vash: *over P.A.* Are you ready to ruuuumble?? *crowd goes wild* Then lets get this match started! *bell dings*
*Anthy and Akane start circling each other*
Akane: Are you one of Ranma's fiancées?
Anthy: umm.. I don't swing that way.. And besides.. he's an idiot. *tries to kick Akane, she catches her foot and flips her*
Akane: *turns red* He's a macho insensitive jerk, but I'M the only one that can talk about him! *runs at Anthy, fists flying*
Anthy: *ducks and punches her in the stomach*
Utena: *off screen* YOU GO ANTHY!
Anthy: *turns to face Utena* Do you mean that koi?
Akane: *jumps up from floor, punches her in the jaw, and sweeps her feet out from under her*
Utena: THAT'S A FOUL! Where's the referee?
Legato: *dressed in normal clothes but there's black and white stripes down them* It's clean, no foul! *low chuckle* Yes, the humans will exterminate themselves. *mwa-ah-ah-ah*
Everyone: *nervous glances at each other*
Legato: What?
Anthy: *shrugs and grabs Akane's ankle, pulling her down, then sits on her stomach and proceeds to slap the stuffing out of her*
Akane: *banshee shrieks and pulls a mallet out of hammer-space* *smacks Anthy across the ring and into the ropes*
Crowd: *gasp*
Legato: *in his slow voice* one….two…three-
Akane: *shrieking* CAN'T YOU COUNT ANY FASTER THAN THAT??
Legato: Oh look, you've made me lose my place. One…… two-
Akane: *frothing at the mouth and about to throw her mallet at him*
Legato: *pales* Threefourfivesixseveneightninetenyou'reout! Akane wins!
Akane: *nods to herself and leaves the ring, crowd groaning. Utena leaps from stands and starts chasing Akane holding the sword of Dios*
~~~Commercial Break~~~
Touga: Are you tired? Depressed? Dead? *holds up bottle* All you need is one tablespoon of Touga's World Famous and World Breaking Elixir a day and you're good to go! Why, with this elixir, I can appear in mysterious elevators and scare the crap out of my loved ones, and for just $19.99, you can too! *used car salesman-like grin*
~~~back to the deathmatch~~~
Kasumi: My, wasn't that exciting? *Dr. Tofuu: *nodnodnod* Yes, yes it was Kasumi my dear! * *nervous look* Ooookay then Doctor! Well, the next match is just seconds away, and this one is Ryouga versus Wufei! Good luck guys!
--To make it easier to read, I'm going to break it into sections. *evil grin* The next part comes out soon.