DISCLAIMER: I do not own DC, The Flash, or any of its characters, etc.
A/N: This is the first femslash story I've written (and published), so reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated. This is sort of a rewrite of "Crazy for You" inspired by "I Won't Mind" by Zayn Malik. I really like the Snowest ship, and I have a few more fics on the way. So, hope you guys enjoy the story and let me know what you think.
I Won't Mind
By SerenityWinter
All night, Barry and Iris had been dancing and flirting and dancing and flirting and-
"Caitlin! Earth to Caitlin!" Cisco said, waving his hand.
I sighed, "What do you want, Cisco?"
"You've been acting weird."
"That's not true," I said.
"You've been giving Barry the Death Stare all night. What is going on with you?"
I took a sip of my drink, "Nothing."
Setting my glass back down, I looked over at Iris. She was so smart and kind and beautiful and she deserved better than Barry.
"You. Iris. You and Iris- oh my god!" Cisco was practically jumping with excitement.
"Calm down, Cisco. Nothing happened and nothing is going to happen."
"So, you like Iris, huh?"
"She's with Barry now. And there's nothing I can do about it. Feelings are the worst."
"Ah, unrequited love. I've been there, my friend. Maybe there's still hope though."
"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that not everyone gets their happy ending. And I'm not going to ruin theirs. Barry has a chance at happiness now."
"Lucky bastard," Cisco said, shaking his head.
"I just have to let it go."
"I just have to accept the fact I'm probably going to be alone forever."
"You still have a chance, Cisco. Don't give up."
"I won't give up if you don't give up either."
I sighed, "I'm sorry, Cisco. I can't really get back out there until I accept that." I nodded towards Barry and Iris laughing. Together.
"Understandable. Why don't you think that you have a chance?"
"I'm jealous. Why? because she's beautiful, and I'm well, me."
Cisco addressed the bartender, "Barkeep! Another drink for the lady!"
I smelled the foul beverage, "What is this?"
"The secret to getting over someone. Cheers."
We clinked our glasses together.
"Cheers," I said.
Things were quiet for a few moments while Cisco and I drank.
"Hey!" I said, "How do you get over someone?"
"I've just gotten used to rejection. Well, there's also the seven steps to acceptance. I see you've skipped anger and probably around denial and sadness," he said.
"I am not in denial!"
"Denial it is."
Many drinks later…
"How long have you been in love with her?" Cisco asked.
"Pretty much the first time we met."
"Wow. Like something straight out of a rom-com."
I laughed dryly, "Except no happy ending. I've accepted the fact Iris doesn't love me. It's just hard seeing her with someone else. I- um- I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."
"Have fun," he said, for some weird reason.
Just then, I was regretting my outfit choice- a short sparkly black dress- but it didn't seem that important after I turned around.
Barry and Iris were kissing. Even though no one could hear me over the loud karaoke, I said softly, "I have to go."
Then, I rushed out of the bar trying not to puke. There'd be no one to hold my hair back anyway. I called a cab and went home. The minute I closed the door behind me, I puked in the trash can.
At that moment, I had a fantastic idea. I stumbled across the room and grabbed my phone, dialing a familiar number.
"Iris!" I sang, "I love you! You're so pretty and smart and kind. You're with Barry now, and it makes me sad. All I want for you to be happy and-"
The phone cut me off and I dialed again, "Sorry, it's the stupid phone," I pouted, "Anyway, I just want you to be happy. I don't mind, even though I know you'll never be mine."
I flopped down on my bed and kept talking, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have waited to tell you how I feel. It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late, and you deserve better than me. I didn't know what I was living for until I met you. I love you, the real you, Iris. Not the person you feel like you have to be. You feel like you have to take care of everyone. We are who we are when no one's watching. And I love the real you. Even though you'll never know."
The phone cut me off again, and I dialed again. "You are the most important person to me. People see you as smart and beautiful and kind, which you are. You're so much more than just that. I don't even know how to describe it. You're like a dream. I love you and you mean everything to me, but it always feels like you're just out of reach. An impossible wish. I've begun trying to accept you being with Barry. I suppose the hardest part was to stop fighting. To stop trying to glue the broken pieces together and just walk away. I mean… how do you just let go of someone you spent so long desperately holding on to?"
"I know I'm meant to love you. I'm not supposed to say anything, but I have to tell you. Even though you'll never be mine, I just want you to be happy. As long as you're happy, it's worth it."
I hung up the phone, changed, and fell asleep.
The next morning, I went to Star Labs. Alone, as always. Strangely, the cortex was empty. I found a note from Cisco. It said, "Everyone's hungover and taking a day off."
I sighed, at least I could analyze the leads we had about our meta. Except, I left the results from some tests at home. I grabbed my jacket and took some aspirin before heading home. I was looking through the dressers when I heard a knock on the door.
I opened the door and saw Iris there. Immediately, I lost the ability to form complete sentences. "Can I come in?" Iris asked.
I nodded and she walked through the doorway, "Nice apartment."
"T-thanks."
Iris was wringing her hands nervously, "So, you called last night."
I didn't remember calling, but if I did call, it couldn't have been good.
She pressed a button on her phone, and I heard my own voice on the other end, "I love you and you mean everything to me. You're the most important person to me. I love you, Iris."
The recording ended.
"That's just part of it," Iris said.
"I was really drunk, it didn't mean-"
"It's not true?"
Iris looked hurt and it broke my heart.
"Do you want it to be?"
She took a deep breath, "I do."
"I meant it- all of it. But I saw you kissing Barry."
"That wasn't me. And that wasn't Barry."
"What?"
My memory flashed back and I remembered how drunk I was. And how much that one woman resembled Barry.
"I just got out of the bathroom and saw you rushing out of the bar. I tried to follow you and make sure you were alright, but you were gone," Iris said.
"Oh."
Iris took a few steps towards me and I was captivated.
"Did you mean what you said?" Iris asked.
"All of it," I answered.
"Then, I love you too, Caitlin."
I hesitantly took another step towards Iris and tilted my head down slightly.
"I've been waiting for this moment since we met."
Iris smiled and it filled my heart with joy. In less than a second, Iris' soft lips were pressed against mine in a kiss. Like in the fairy tales. It was all I ever wanted. Dreams of Iris were out of my reach. But here I was, kissing her, and it was real.
In my head, I thought she'd never love me and I was wrong. Maybe the odds were stacked against us, but we still won.
The End
A/N: Reviews and constructive criticism appreciated. I prefer writing femslash but will still publish stories with het or slash ships every once in a while. Tell me what you thought of the story and don't forget to review. Thanks :)
P.S. Chapter two of Snowstorm will be published Thursday 10/31. More updates to come, so stay tuned. (That was cheesy, I'm sorry.)
