Disclaimer: I don't own Lost.
Other note: My humour is...wierd.

(It is the beginning of a new day on the lost island. We go over to Claire, who is searching for something. She is very worried, and shakes Charlie.)
Charlie: muh...cheese...grapefruit...PIE?...get away, you...
Claire: CHARLIE! I CAN'T FIND AARON!
Charlie: Wha?
Claire: I went to the cot and he wasn't there! Help me find him!
Charlie: (Shifts uncomfortably) Oh, yeah...about that...
Claire: You know where Aaron is? TELL ME!
Charlie: Okay, he's...(looks around and picks up a coconut)...in that coconut.
Claire: WHAT? WHY DID YOU PUT HIM IN A COCONUT?

Flashback

Sawyer: Hey, Charlie. (Looks at baby) Whew, boy does that thing have a big head. Bet you some sunscreen you can't fit that in a coconut!
Charlie: Done!

End Flashback

Claire: YOU PUT MY BABY IN A COCONUT FOR SOME SUNSCREEN?
Charlie: And a monkey. Look! Come here Charlie Jr.! (Rousseau walks out)
Claire: Charlie, that's the French Woman!
Rousseau: No! I am Charlie Jr.! Look! (Starts doing a strange dance)
Claire: Charlie! Get my baby out of that coconut!
Charlie: Actually, Claire...I can't really do that.
Claire: Why not? (Glares at Charlie)
Charlie: I'm not saying.
Claire: IT'S MY BABY!
Charlie: Correct! You can now enter the gameshow!
(Charlie suddenly gets a tuxedo. Giant room falls onto the beach. Charlie and Claire walk up to it, and inside are five contestant boxes, four of which are filled by Jack, Sawyer, Rousseau and Shannon. Claire goes up to the final box.)
Claire: How come you're all here?
Jack: He stole my baby! (Strokes some aspirin pills.)
Shannon: He stole my baby! (Strokes credit card.)
Rousseau: I'm his monkey! (Does strange dance again.)
Sawyer: Hell, I'm just here to win me a coconut baby!
Charlie: Yeah, about that...the coconut thing isn't working, so you, the contestants get to choose whether or not to place the baby in a pineapple, a snake or Locke! (There is a puff of smoke, out of which come a pineapple, snake and Locke, who is eating an orange.)
Claire: Put him in the Pineapple!
Sawyer: Nah, put him in the explorer!
Claire: It's my baby!
Charlie: You've used up your baby card! Now you can no longer interfere with the show! Now onto the first task! You will be split into three groups! Jack and Rousseau will go together, Sawyer and Shannon go together, and me and Claire will be on another team! The objective is to find the most interesting thing on the island and bring it back here! Let round one begin!

A few hours later...

Jack: I can't believe I'm stuck with you, heal people.
(Rousseau is still dancing. They reach a hut.)
Rousseau: Ahh, this is where Percival lives!
Jack: Percival? (Jack looks at the house.) Umm, Rousseau, the house is on fire.
Rousseau: Oh don't worry, he's outside of the house already! (She waves, but no one is there.)
Jack: There's no one there. (Looks around, and sees interesting thing (OOHHHH!) on the edge of a cliff. Jack runs up to it, but slips and falls. He clings on to the edge.)
Jack: Help me!
Rousseau: Grab Percival's hand!
Jack: He doesn't exist!
Rousseau: You have to believe in him!
(Jack grabs his hand, but Percival DOESN'T EXIST, so he falls.)
Rousseau: Percival! Why didn't you save him? Oh, right, you don't like him.

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