"What took you so long?" Kensi lunged at Deeks as he entered the bar.

"Tipsy already, Kensilina?"

"We've been waiting for you forrrreeevvver," her words slurred as she held her arms around him. It had been a very long three days. He was in lock up for two, almost got killed before the third day was done, her range of emotions were running on empty.

"Baby, I was in lock up for two days, and then in the bay, I really needed a shower."

"Fine! Come join us," she pulled him towards the table. Sam, Callen, Granger and the wonder twins were sipping on their beers. Kensi was getting ready to down her fourth one.

"Slow down tiger," Deeks pulled it out of her hand. "You're not going to be able to work tomorrow if you keep that up."

"I decided to let you all take the day off tomorrow. I think we could all use a little r and r after the week we had." Granger informed the detective.

"Wow, Granger Danger, it only takes me spending a few nights in the slammer to get a free day, I'll do it more often."

"Don't push your luck," the assistant director glared with a hint of a smile.

"See, now give me my beer back," she pulled it from his hand, "and try to catch up."

Deeks tried to enjoy his teammates' and boss's company. He kept staring at his girlfriend wondering how he could continue to hide the fact that he did kill his ex partner, Francis Boyle. He did it for the right reasons, or so he thought, protecting an innocent girl. Sometimes he regretted it, but he knew Tiffany would be dead if he hadn't killed him. He wondered if they could get past his secret. They got around so much, their ups and downs, their fear of making the wrong decision when it came to their thing, her being sent to Afghanistan and spending time tortured with her ex fiancé, they even got past regulations and Granger approved of their union, perhaps not openly, but he still hadn't put a stop to it. Deeks mulled over his beer as Kensi began her fifth.

"Baby, you don't normally drink this much, what are you doing?"

"I thought you liked sloppy drunk Kensilicious," she whispered in his ear.

"Your not gonna be able to drive home."

"That's what I have you for silly," she began attempting to kiss his neck but was a slobbery mess instead.

"I'll drive her car back to the mission , Sam drove me here, besides I'm probably gonna just crash on the couch there tonight anyway."

"G, you have a house. You can take your car there after you drop Kensi's off."

"I told you, that couch is very comfortable. Besides it's almost midnight, Joelle will be sleeping by now anyway. I wouldn't want to wake her.

Sam just shook his head. "You should make a decision on your relationship, G."

"Trouble in paradise?" Deeks questioned.

"Im not the only one in that boat, I'd say things aren't looking to hot on your end right now, either."

Kensi was getting frustrated with Deeks' attempts to stop her beverage intake. He had never seen her this way. He figured she needed to unwind, but didn't like how she was going about it. They liked to go out and have a few beers after rough cases, but two, maybe three was the most Kensi ever drank.

"Maybe you should try to get her home," Callen stated in a brotherly way. "She did have a rough few days. She may have even busted into Hetty's office yelling at her to get you out."

"What?" Deeks' eyes widened. "Baby?"

Kensi just shrugged with a grin, "she said she was in my debt years ago when you and her lied to me, so I called in my marker."

"You do love me." He smiled.

"With my whole heart," She was still slurring a bit as she chugged down the rest of her beer.

"Time to get you home, princess."

"But baby," she pleaded. "I wanna unwind more with you."

"Don't you think my house is a better place for that?" He whispered trying to persuade her to go home.

"Fine" she huffed. He helped her out as she was quite wobbly on the full range of being completely wasted.

"Good night guys." Deeks waved.

"Take care of our girl," Nell grinned.

Kensi kept fading in and out of a deep slumber. Her head was spinning and the car ride was making it worse. "Deeks, pull over," she said when she woke.

He obliged and Kensi opened the door and began vomiting. He got out and held her hair as she continued to pay for her night choices. When she felt a little better he helped in back into the passenger's seat. He had a few bottles of water in the car. Before he got in he grabbed one and opened it for her. "Take small sips." He instructed.

She rolled her eyes at him grabbing the bottle. Deeks smiled at her.

"What?" She said annoyed.

"Your the best thing that's happened to me Kens."

"Oh with my hair full of puke."

"Even with a hair full of puke." He placed his hand on her knee. "I heard you yelled at Hetty?" He questioned.

She buried her head in her hands. "She's probably soooo mad at me."

"I doubt it. She cares about us all very much. Listen Kens,"

"Deeks can we talk tomorrow, my head is spinning. I'm sorry babe."

"It's ok." He gave her a look, "I tried to stop you."

"Ugh," she threw her head back.

"Good talk," he laughed. "You ok staying at my place tonight?" He asked.

She nodded slightly.

"Good cause we're here." He got out of the car and helped her inside. She was still dizzy and felt awful. "You're gonna have one hell of a hangover."

She glared at him, "I just need some aspirin, a shower and then bed."

"I'd make a sexual innuendo, but I'll save it for when your sober." He joked as he got her two aspirins and another bottle of water.

Kensi soaked in the shower. The warm water loosened her tense muscles. Her head stopped spinning finally and she finished cleaning up. She threw on her tank top and boy shorts that she left at Deeks' place for their frequent sleepovers.

"Feeling better?"

"Much."

"Good, Come here," he pulled her close to him after she climbed into bed. "I love you Kensi Marie Blye."

"I love you too, Martin Deeks," she winked nuzzling her head into his chest. She fell asleep within seconds.

He laid still not to disturb her. He couldn't sleep though. His head was running with thoughts of his secrets. He hated hiding things from her. Hetty's words consumed him. "I've always found secrets are easier to keep when you have no one to share them with." He was able to keep this secret for many years because Hetty was right, he had no one to share it with. No one who mattered enough to know his deepest darkest secret. A secret that haunted him. He trusted her with everything, but he was afraid he would disappoint her. He was afraid she would see him different than who he actually was. Who she knew he was. Who he really was. He had to tell her, he was just unsure how or when. She was rightly upset that he was sending Tiffany money, but she didn't even push it after he convinced her Tiffany was not a fugitive. He decided he would tell her, even if it cost him their relationship.

She woke up to an empty bed. Her head was pounding again. "I'm never going to drink that much again," she told herself. She started to get out of bed, when Deeks walked in with a tray.

"Breakfast in bed for my baby," he brought the tray to her. "Deeks' famous frittatas of course. Are you up for eating?"

"I think I can be," she grinned digging into her food.

"So we have the whole day fee, what do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know if I'm up for much,"she said with a mouth full of frittata.

"Bed all day," he winked. "That sound amazing. Locked up in the clank. I could use a little love from my ladybird. Prove to you again that I'm still a lean mean sex machine."

Kensi couldn't help but laugh. "I love you, even if you're an idiot."

He thought about taking this moment to tell her. But she looked so happy. He didn't want to rob her of that today. He decided he would hold the truth in a little longer.

—

Three days prior...while Deeks was taken away and placed in lock up.

"Deeks!"

"I love you," he said as he walked away in cuffs.

Kensi was at a complete and utter loss. She frantically called Hetty. "They taking him in cuffs, Hetty."

"I'll look into it, my dear." She reassured her with little success. "Get some rest tonight and be at the mission at 7am"

Kensi sighed. Rest was not going to be an option. She attempted to go to the jail, but they wouldn't let her see Deeks. They told her he was being processed and he would be allowed his phone call when the time came. She had no clue what was going on. She knew IA was investigating him, but didn't know what for. He alway skirted around the subject avoiding any mention of it. She attempted to sleep, but tossed and turned until the sun rose. She arrived at the mission earlier than instructed. Sam and Callen were already there. Granger and Hetty met her in the armory and informed her it was about his ex partner Boyle. He had told her the story and that Boyle was shot by a hooker with his own gun. She was uncertain how Deeks fit in the picture. But Kensi being Kensi, was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Eric and Nell had to inform her that Deeks' alias had been sending money to a hooker named Tiffany. Kensi remained calm, until she exited the mission to head to the jail. Her heart was pounding, she felt as if she had been kicked in the chest. What else was he hiding. She loved him so much, let her walls down for him, but they still had secrets from each other. As they progressed in their relationship, she felt that Deeks would be more open with her. Her head was angry, but her heart hurt. She knew he had reasons for not telling her, but she hoped he would.

When she arrived at his holding cell she was still upset. She confronted him about sending Tiffany the money, but didn't get very far after he defended his actions telling Kensi he was just trying to help her.

"If I don't confess, I'm going to county."

"You're not going to county!" She didn't want to listen to his nonsense. She would break him out before she let him go to county. She stormed off and laid into Hetty. Not many people gave Hetty a piece of their mind the way Kensi did that day. She was angry. She was heartbroken. Most of all, she was frightened.

"Go home. Eat something, try to get some rest," was all Hetty responded in her calm tone. She knew Kensi was scared. Hetty was doing everything she could to get this mess put behind Deeks. It was true, she brought him into NCIS. She knew he was a good man. She knew his secrets, but She knew his heart was always in the right place. She felt the need to protect him as she did her other three agents, as well as Eric and Nell. This was her family and she'd be dammed if a dirty cop was going to pull them apart.

Kensi obeyed and went home. Her head was a mess. She started doing her own research. Her face went pale. She immediately knew. "You killed him," she sighed. She put her head in her hands. "I wish you would have told me." Tears began forming in her eyes. How was she going to get him out of this. She assumed Hetty already knew and this really was her Machiavelli plan. Kensi knew her lover, she knew he didn't kill Boyle out of rage, she knew he'd only kill to protect. She gathered that the situation between Boyle and Tiffany triggered dark memories of his father beating his mother, causing him to shoot his father at the age of 11. His deep moral compass turned to fighting for the weak, being a police officer and a public defender, he fought for those who couldn't fight for themselves. All of the things that happened to him made him the man he was today. It's one of the things she deeply loved about him. It's what made him so damn good at his job.

She stood staring at Steadman with her gun pointed at him. Wanting him to make a move so she could kill him for being dirty and causing Deeks pain. She knew it wasn't they way, but couldn't help the way she felt. Thankfully her team and Granger were there to keep her in line. The days had consumed her. She was ready to put them behind her. She was willing to let Deeks come to her with his secret when he was ready. She was slowly realizing she should come clean with her own, no matter how bad it hurt both of them to discuss.

"I have a stop to make first," he told her.

She kissed his cheek gently and walked away with the rest to go get drinks. "You're cute," she heard him holler after her.

The team met up at the bar and began relaxing.

"You good, Kens?" Callen asked noticing her distant look. He loved her like a brother loved a sister, Always looking out for her and protecting her, even if she didn't need protection. As much as Deeks grew on Callen, like mold grew on a tree, he'd hurt him within an inch of his life if he ever did anything to cause Kensi pain. Kensi was the sister he longed for, the one he never got to know or the sister he had yet to know was out there.

"Huh, ya. I just need a beer!"

"You got it," he hailed the waitress over. "First rounds on him," he pointed to Granger.

"I got the whole tab tonight," he informed the lovely server.

"Wow, Granger treating the team," Callen was impressed.

"Well deserved," he nodded, "as well as tomorrow off."

Kensi's eyes brightened. "Thank you." She has gained much respect for the man sitting beside her. He was a friend to her father. A man her father deeply trusted, which meant she could trust him as well. Her father could never be replaced, but it was nice to have a fill in, in the shape of Owen Granger.

Kensi downed her first beer in no time. She kept looking at her watch, wondering what was taking Deeks so long. She was anxious to see him, hold him, go home with him. She quickly started on her next beer.

"Kensi," Granger started. "Deeks is a good man."

Kensi was a bit taken back. Shocked was probably a better feeling she thought.

"That's between us," Granger toasted her drink. "Your father would approve, and so do I."

It had been an unspoken approval since they became official, but now, here on a day that could have turned out much worse than it did, he was giving her his blessing. A bit of relief came over her. "Thank you. That means the world to me. It would mean the world to Deeks as well, but I'll let you tell him yourself."

Granger nodded as Kensi continued on her drinking binge. "That might not happen soon," he grinned in his Granger way.

Kensi kept drinking. She didn't want to feel all the anger, pain and stress, she had built up over the past few days. She kept drinking faster than she normally would. She just wanted to feel nothing.

"Shaggy bail on us?" Sam came over asking a fairly tipsy Kensi at this point.

Her eyes filled with a little sadness as she shrugged finishing her third beer and raising her hand for a fourth.

"You keep drinking like that, Kensi, you won't be able to see him when he walks through the door." Callen began getting concerned.

Kensi ignored his comment starting on her next beer when she saw him entered and she headed towards him with a lunge.

—

The day off was a refreshing need. The team came back ready to plow through their next cases. Deeks, however, had still been feeling tension for days. He decided he could no longer hide the truth from her. He was worried how she'd feel, knowing he lied to her. The last time he was forced to lie to her when he was "fired" by Hetty. It put a strain on their partnership. This time was much different. They were officially more than just partners at work. They had trusted each other with everything, including their hearts. This wasn't an easy task for Kensi Blye. He was certain this would crush her. He took years to slowly tear down her walls, Hell he took years to tear down his own and let her in. Everything could be ruined with a simple confession.

She had been feeling tension for days. She knew his secret, but wanted him to tell her when he was ready. She couldn't blame him for keeping something like this to himself. It could cost him everything, including his freedom. Knowing him as deeply as she did, she knew the action he committed haunted him. As hard as it was, she waited for him to come to her.

When he finally decided to come clean. She immediately forgave him. No questions, no discussion, just simple forgiveness.

"Just no more secrets," she said.

"No more secrets."

Yet, she was holding one of her own. She felt extremely guilty after making him promise to not hide anything from her ever again. When the mission was over he could tell she was uneasy.

"Baby, I promise no more secrets, ever. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have known you'd figure it out. I just wanted to protect you, protect NCIS."

"It's ok, Deeks," she sighed. "I know all that."

"I know you, Kensi Marie Blye. Somethings wrong."

"Can we just not talk about it right now."

Deeks knew he was fighting a losing battle. She had been patient with him and now it was his turn to be patient with whatever was bothering her. He figured he put a strain on their relationship by hiding this from her, but she assured him it was ok.

"I really am sorry. I know I am an idiot."

"You are!" She laughed.

"When you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

She knew he would, she just wished she could bring her self to tell him what she buried years ago.