Hurried hands quickly snatched clothing from the shared closet. Desperate to get her items quickly and leave. This had been a long time coming, she'd fought to keep their relationship going, working hard to keep him happy, show him how much she loved him. However, when the hard work wasn't put in from both sides it was destined to fail. Her feelings mattered too, she'd gotten to the point were she was constantly down, never having her feelings reciprocated anymore, being treat like a commodity, something that was just there. No more. She couldn't take this, she wasn't anyone's doormat, especially his.
She'd given up more than her fair share to ensure that their relationship could last. She'd quit at NCIS, knowing how much his rules meant to him, how ingrained they were in him, that they could never be truly happy whilst she was a part of his team, being with her was going against his morals as her team leader. So she'd left, working instead for the Israeli embassy, a dull and boring job in comparison to what she was used to, but she'd put up with it, for them, for him. She'd sold her apartment, accepting his invitation to move into HIS home, the home that he'd never left, she'd overlooked the number of other women that had moved into his home believing that it would last, because she was different, they were different. She scoffed, she'd been naive, she wasn't any different to the numerous other women who Leroy Jethro Gibbs vowed to have loved and wanted a life with. Thankfully they'd not married yet, otherwise she'd have that to worry about as well. No, she was just his girlfriend, one of many that he'd had share his home in-between marriages.
Tonight had been her breaking point, it was their anniversary, he'd stated he was taking her out to celebrate a few weeks ago, told her to dress up. When they'd woken this morning, him returning home the previous night long after she'd retired to bed, he'd barely said two words to her, there'd been no mention of their anniversary, but she'd believed he hadn't forgotten, was just waiting until the evening to surprise her. She'd handed him his gift, an expensive wood tool that he'd been wanting for years but had refused to buy for himself due to the price, and kissed his cheek goodbye. There was no time for anything else as he was out the door, barely slinging a goodbye over his shoulder as he'd closed the door. After she'd returned home from work, she'd meticulously done her hair and makeup, a gorgeous form fitting dress completing the ensemble, hoping to reignite the passion that had before being a constant in their relationship. She'd waited, and waited, when it got to 9 she had sent him a text to check everything was ok, he'd sent a short reply telling her not to wait up, that he would be working late. So she had text Tony, worried as she knew the team had been working on cold cases for sometime, hoping that the case was nothing serious, wasn't distressing to the man she loved. Tony had called her, letting her know that they were still working on cold cases, he and McGee had clocked of early, with their boss offering to work through the files remaining on their desks. He had chosen to do paperwork rather than spend this night with her, that had been enough for her. His behaviour tonight, over the last few months really, had shown her exactly what he thought of her and their relationship now. What little he thought of it. In his eyes it was obviously done, had run its course, and she wasn't pathetic enough to wait for the words from him, for him to point blank tell her he was done. She wasn't going to embarrass herself further by holding on to the man she loved, who didn't love her, when there was nothing there to hold onto. When he didn't want her to hold on, evidently. Her mind made up, she had begun packing in a rush, wanting this to be done and finished before he returned home, to his home that he always kept, probably for this very reason. He wouldn't give up his own home because he knew his relationships would never last. He wouldn't sacrifice anything for the relationships when he'd be left in a lurch months or years down the line. No, he preferred it to be the women who would be left with nothing. Which is how she found herself now, personnel belongings packed but no where to go to. There was nothing here for her in D.C, in America,this wasn't her home, her place or her country. She sighed deeply, knowing where she could go, away from the man who no longer cared. She could go ho.e, back to her REAL home, although nowadays that was wherever Jethro was. She was the loser n this situation either way. She quickly opened up the laptop that was a permanent fixture on the kitchen table, her being the only one to ever use it, and booked a last minute, one way ticket, to Israel.
Glancing at the time, she was shocked to see it was already half eleven, almost midnight. Pulling out her phone she called a cab, hoping to have gone before he returned, she didn't need to see the relief in his eyes as she walked out his door. She waited on the first step of the staircase, looking out for the tell tale lights of the cab. Breathing in deep she took in the scent of the home they had shared, detecting the differences from the first time, many years ago, when she had entered. You could detect her smells, mingled in amongst the sawdust and bourbon, a sweet fruity scent, flowers and gun powder. She'd miss the mix of scents, almost as much as she'd miss laying beside him, telling him over and over how much she loved him, how much she relied on him to stop her from reverting back to the old her,the her who hid her emotions behind masks, the better her. The her that couldn't feel so utterly lost and vulnerable as she did in this moment. The her who's heart wasn't breaking right here on this step.
She hadn't realised she was crying, not until they hit her lips, a steady stream that seemed unwilling to stop when facing the end if everything she held dear. Taking a deep breath she reined herself in, putting on her old mossad facade, hiding behind a stone wall whilst inside she crumpled.
Lights were pulling up outside, her cab was here. Grasping the handles of her luggage she carefully opened the door,closing it softly begin her so as not to disturb their elderly neighbors. The cab driver gave her a kind smile, seeing the dried tear tracks upon her face, and took her luggage from her. She turned to take one last look at where her heart would be staying, arms wrapped around her frame, trying and failing to hold herself together. She kept repeating in her head : You don't deserve a loveless relationship and he doesn't deserve to be forced to stay with you. This is what would get her through this, that Jethro would no longer have to live a life with a women he clearly didn't want, if you love someone enough, you have to do what's best for them. The best thing for Jethro would be her out of the picture, leaving him free to enjoy his life. She wiped her eyes, heaving herself into the backseat, eyes distant as she thought about him.
Jethro was kicking himself on the drive home, he'd been so distant with Ziver, reverting back to his old ways of dealing with his nerves. He fingered the ring that was resting against his heart in the pocket of his jacket. He'd messed up today. Messed up more than he had ever done before. He knew what day it was, what this day signified. He also knew that what he'd dine was unforgivable, he'd stood her up, not wanting to face her, too nervous incase she rejected his proposal. He'd seen the light in her eyes slowly dying as the months went on. He was scared. Scared that the women he was irrevocably head over heels for had realised what all the others had realised, that the second B really did stand for bastard. So he'd pushed her away, holding her always at arms length, not wanting to feel the hurt that would accompany her leaving him. Today in the bullpen, when Tony and McGee had left, him offering to do the work so as not to face Ziva, he thought about her. All the good that she had brought to his life, how much he loved her. It didn't matter how much he pushed her away,it didn't shut of his feelings. She'd filled the void in his heart, no matter how much distance he put between them, that didn't change. He'd come to the conclusion that he'd been an utter fool, and prayed she'd give him the opportunity to make it up to her for the rest of his living days. He would go home, wake her up, and worship her. He'd ring in tomorrow and take a personal day,and show her just how much she meant to him. At the exit of his street he let a cab pull out, paying little attention to its occupant, too intent on getting home to the women he loved.
Ziva watched as he indicated for the cab to go before him,tears slipping down her face as she looked one last time at the man she loved, oblivious in his car, returning home at such a late hour just to avoid her. He would have that problem no longer, he'd be free to return to his home at any hour, not having to stay out late so as not to be around her. He'd probably soon have another, she'd watched in the years previous to their relationship, how quickly he attracted and began dating. She lifted her palm,then closed it tightly, her last goodbye.
As he pulled up his drive he noticed all of the lights were out, she'd gone to bed hurting. Entering the foyer quietly,he made his way upstairs, stomach in his throat hoping she'd forgive him. Pushing the door open,his heart dropped right out the bottom of him. She wasn't here. He walked to the closet, hoping that for once his gut was wrong. His gut was never wrong, her clothes were gone, empty hangers in there place. Rushing downstairs,looking for clues to her whereabouts, he saw the laptop open on the table. Flight confirmation. She'd booked a ticket home. She'd left him. It was all his fault. Sinking to the floor, the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs sobbed, sobbed for the women he loved. This was their goodbye.
Well, there you have it. It can't all be sunshine and rainbows. Look out for updates on my other stories in the coming days, and please review!