All the characters appearing in Gargoyles and Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles are copyright Buena Vista Television/The Walt Disney Company. No infringement of these copyrights is intended, and is not authorized by the copyright holder. All original characters are the property of SN.

Note: I'm disregarding the events in the "Goliath Chronicles", with the exception of "The Journey" because I do not wish to use the rest of the "Goliath Chronicles" as canon to my story. This story takes place one day after "The Changing and the Wedding"

This is an edited version to be acceptable to the site's censors of what Tribun wrote for my "gargoyles universe" on the Gargoyles Fan Website. The original is on the Gargoyles Fan Website's "Adult" section.

Self-Exploration

by Tribun

Email:joachim_henkel

Authorised and Edited by SN/TVfan

Email: Sam_Nary

Elisa's point of view

After all that excitement the last days, it is strange that I now have time for myself. I should be greatful for that. Oh of course, it won't last. The Mage is still out there, Demona also. But at least the Quarrymen are for now, no longer a threat... And you, Maza, should finally familiarize yourself with yourself. It is about time for me to do that.

Those were Elisa's thoughts, while she wandered to the room she had used for the last year whenever she was a the castle for a longer period of time. With the Quarrymen defeated, and no other threat threatening them at the moment, she finally had time to let the whole situation with her transformation sink in. The consequences, the changes forced into her lifestyle and thinking what the future would bring.

Of course, some things were obvious. Stone sleep the biggest change she would have to endure for the rest of her life, never being able to see the light of the sun again.

I already think that there is no way to reverse what the Mage did to me... And, and of course it is not exactly true that I will never see the sunlight again. But I doubt that the Guatemalans will loan me an amulet, so the travel to them would be futile.

Being able to use her wings was already the second on her list. Of course she was not already able to use them the way the clan did, she was still new to all of this, and it would take her time to learn more than the basics. It was not simple to learn fine control of body parts she had not possessed some days ago.

Finally she reached the room, closed but not locked the door behind herself, then went through the dark room into the adjoining bedroom. Pale silver moonlight was shining though the big window, but with her new Gargoyle eyes she was able to see everything as if in daylight. Even the colors were not as pale as someone would assume due to the weak light source.

But she was here because of the big mirror which was over two meters tall. Standing in front of it she began to study her new body's features. The first thing she noticed was, that her eyes had changed color. Instead of the brown she was used to, the black of the iris now seemed to melt together with her pupils. The pointed ears that poked prominently though her hair were the next obvious change. Baring her teeth she saw her fangs, then noticed something else when she studied the other teeth.

Even the fillings I had in some of my teeth are gone. Seems that the Mage doesn't want to leave a job only half done, because these teeth are in a perfect condition, everyone of them in the right place. Well at least I won't any longer have to worry about brushing my teeth...

The lack of eyebrows looked a bit stupid to her, the browridges not really a replacement. But she was glad, that she had not grown horns, or even a beak. While she thought it interesting to picture herself with a beak, she absolutely did not want to share that distinctive feature with Brooklyn!

Holding up her hands she studied her now four-fingered hands. The claws were hidden under a layer of skin, and she was glad for it. Since her transformation, she was several times nearly driven to despair when she had tried to do some finer skills with her hands. It would be surely still some time before she would be able to again use her hands properly.

Looking down her arms she noticed a difference between now and the first time she was changed into a Gargoyle. Four years ago, her elbows were still normal, but now she had sharp looking elbow spurs. Looking down further she saw that this change also included her knees. Sharp spurs now protecting her kneecaps.

Aha, so the Mage's spell was not exactly like the one Puck used on me... Not that this is of any use, but nonetheless, I pity the poor guy who first gets my knee into his groin.

While she was looking at her knees, she noticed that she was not standing straight, but with her legs in a fashion that she had seen in the clan but never had paid real attention to. She had not noticed that she was standing with her legs at a bent angle, but did not find it uncomfortable.

Of course I can stand straight, I have seen the others do that on occasion. Seems that it is just standard to stay like this...

Her observation ended at her feet, nothing anymore in common with her small delicate human feet. The huge three-toed, wolf-like feet with a spur on the back were obviously not designed for the shoe market. Elisa still sometimes had problems with the balance, because only standing on the balls of her feet was nothing she did for a longer amount of time before.

She was glad, that her skin tone was something, that had not changed. She was still tan, and was ok with it. Imagining herself with another, really bright color was nearly impossible for her imagination.

And of course there were everyday tasks and activities, that had changed with her transformation. Her appetite was now bigger and she felt the urge to eat more meat, while she was unable to even swallow some kinds of vegetables, which now tasted to her like shit. Goliath had said, that the digestive system of a Gargoyle would force them to reject food it could not use through the taste alone. Even before swallowing it.

On the other hand the two times since her transformation, when she had to use the bathroom, had made her curse. Her tail seemed to have developed the habit to accidently dip into the toilet, thus forcing her to again pull it out.

Let's hope that THIS will end as soon as possible...

At the moment it was nearly impossible for her to use a pencil to write something because of her changed hands, while her hearing was a bit too good for her taste. She still thought how the others were able to tolerate hearing these high frequencies.

Her sense of smell was also something that had improved. It was distracting for her, and she tried to ignore most of it. Most likely the clan did the same, and ignored all scents apart from the important ones.

But undoubtedly the most alien thing to her was this unconscious urge to protect. Goliath had said that it was in their nature, and he was not kidding. It was as if a little voice told her from time to time that there had to be something that she should protect. Not that it influenced her free will, but to protect somehow made her feel good.

If this is the same for all Gargoyles, it is no wonder that Demona had become bitter. I can imagine that the only thing she protects is herself, so that she would not become totally mad.

Then she remembered, what she all would never be able to do again. Never again able to simply walk through the streets of New York, simply go shopping or visit a theater. She would never be able, to return to her job, her friends and colleagues at the precinct. It was a life in the shadows.

Now I know what Derek felt, when his humanity was taken from him... It is as if you become an outcast of society, unable to do things, I thought of as being normal days ago.

Unless gargoyles would become part of society, which would not happen any time soon, she, the clan, and their future children would never have the sort of freedom she had enjoyed before. They were free and at the same time they were not, with all these places they could never visit.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts, she had not noticed the door quietly open and close.

Goliath's point of view

He had not wanted to disturb his mate, so he waited in the dark. He had searched for her in the entire castle, before he remembered, that she still had this room, where she had stored some things in case she would stay longer in the castle. Of course this room had now lost it's main function, but still she thought of it as her own territory. And she was really here.

He had wanted to talk with her concerning her transformation, help her with some things that were now different for her, apart from the obvious. He had watched her since she was changed, and some of the problems she had. He remembered when he had to tell her, that some vegetables were now unhealthy for her, while she would need to eat more meat.

Goliath thanked all gods, that Elisa was not a vegetarian, or she now would have great problems. Because without the vitamins in the meat she would become weak and fragile. Also, that she was unafraid of great heights, helped. Goliath not wanted to imagine a gargoyle with fear of heights.

Goliath noticed his mate's behavior, how she studied herself in the mirror.

Of course, she is not really used to her current form. It will still be days or weeks, before it won't any longer be any difference for her. I don't envy her, having to re-learn so many things, and forced to get used to a totally new body. But she is strong, she will make it.

Oh yes, Elisa was a strong female. Every other male Gargoyle in the old clan would been jealous towards him that she was his mate. She was strong willed with a warrior spirit, a beauty rare to find, loyal to her clan and honored all life. If she would have been already alive in this form at the Dark Ages, he would have chosen her over Demona.

Of course he felt a bit guilty that he liked her Gargoyle form so much. The Mage had disrupted her life in a rather rude fashion, cutting her off from so many things that were normal to her. But still he was a bit glad that they were now the same species, even if it was wrong to think this way.

Then he remembered what she had said to her parents the night before. She had said that preferred to be a gargoyle mated to a gargoyle instead of a human mated to a gargoyle. And she had thought about having hatchlings... Her wish to return to her human form seems not to be very strong.

It was unfair to her, and he was ashamed to even think about it, but he preferred it if she would stay the way she was now. He remembered the complications they had because they were different species. They loved each other, but at the same time were unable to bring this affection on the physical level. He would have hurt her. But now... Goliath tried to get these thoughts out of his head.

Pull yourself together! Remember that you love her in any form!

Controlling himself, he knew, that he would need to help her on her way, be there for her to make things easier. To have patience with her to gently introduce her into the life of a gargoyle. Of course some things he would not tell her at once, because these things were very delicate. Especially what exactly would happen at Breeder's moon.

The specifics would only make her uneasy and nervous. So he decided to only tell her if she wanted to know but otherwise keep silent about it. She would surely ask about it in the years before the moon.

He watched her, how she continued to look into the mirror.
Elisa

Well, I have to live with that now. Let's make the best of it. Starting with this outfit Owen had given me some days ago.

Elisa started to inspect her clothing. The black shirt, belt and loincloth were nothing really special, but at least it gave her a feeling of modesty, until she again thought of her loincloth. The thought of harsh winds, herself lying upside down or some looking up from below made her shudder. She had no idea, how the clan was able to live with that.

Most likely they never knew it, or don't really care. But I'm a bit more concerned about my dignity... Maybe I should cut a hole into one of my panties for the tail, then wear it under my loincloth? Yes, that is good.

Elisa went to the small bag of things, she had stored in the room some time ago, fishing one of her panties out of it, then returned in front of the mirror.

Goliath

Strange what is she doing now?

Goliath watched her cutting a hole into an article of clothing with her talons. He first had no idea what it was. Only when he got a clear view of it, he blushed a bit. It was Elisa's underwear. He had seen her several times at her apartment, only wearing her underwear, and had to control himself back then.

I forgot, her ideas of modesty are a bit stronger than ours. She wants to make sure not to accidently embarrass herself by wearing underwear under her loincloth. That way, even if her loincloth is accidently lifted, there will be nothing to see...

Goliath wished, he had not thought that, because some seconds later shedidlift her loincloth, after she had fitted the tail though the hole in the panties, to pull them up without problems. This gave Goliath a perfect view on her butt, her tail hanging over it. Suddenly the room seemed to have become hotter. Trying to suppress any stupid ideas, Goliath continued his watching of her.

Elisa

Apart from the modification for the tail, the panties still fitted her perfectly. Holding up her loincloth she inspected if it was secure, then lowered the cloth. With that done her thoughts drifted to what she had said to her parents last night.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Maza! What had made you tell them the thing with children? Of course now Goliath and I are very compatible, but still it was stupid. Not because you awakened hope for grandchildren in them, but because you never had anything with Goliath before!

And that was true. She had agreed with Goliath that it would be impossible for him to make love with her, because the chance that he would accidently hurt her was far too big. Maybe that was different with her now being the same species as him, but still she was too shy to approach him. Still, she thought about what he would look under his loincloth.

Stop it! Now I'm already thinking about consummating our marriage. I'm a gargoyle for only more than three nights, and already think about jumping my mate! I don't even know how he looks like naked...I don't even know how I look naked myself now.

Goliath

It was harder for him to control himself, when he smelled the change in her scent. Regardless what she was thinking about, it had aroused her. It was long ago since he had smelled the arousal of a female. The last time was with Demona a week before the fall of the castle back in the year 994.

Since then, he was sexually inactive. And he thanked all gods, that Angela's scent, most likely because she was closely related to him, not influenced him in the slightest. But now, after five long years, a part of him was starting to awaken from it's long slumber. He had to force control onto himself. He would never ever hurt Elisa, so he remained in the darkness.

Elisa

She had not thought about that before. When she had changed from her wedding dress into the clothing she wore now, she had not even tried to look at herself. And since she had not taken a shower since then, stonesleep even seemed to clean her, she had really no idea what she looked like without clothing.

I have no idea if I should be embarrassed or humored that I don't know what I look like in the nude. Well, I have a vague idea, but that information I got accidently...

Elisa remembered too well the incident that had given her some unwanted insights into female gargoyle anatomy. She had entered a bathroom in the castle at the same time as Angela left the shower in the same bathroom, with only wearing a towel holding her hair. After some seconds of shocked staring, she had fled the room, and for a whole week after that, whenever they met, they blushed heavily.

Still I'm curious what I look like, and I don't have much knowledge about gargoyle anatomy.

Goliath

Goliath nearly broke the doorframe he was holding with his hands, when he saw what Elisa did next.

She is disrobing! I should leave! I must leave!... But she is my mate. We have sworn each other our love and we are both adults. And someday this will happen anyway. I know I shouldn't do this, but...

Still debating with himself he watched his mate stripping out of her clothes, throwing them in a pile on the floor. When she was done, he had a perfect view of her nude backside, and a partial view of her frontside in the mirror.

He felt his pulse quicken..

He had nearly lost his self-control when she turned around to view her back in the mirror. The view on her frontal nudity was too much.

Slowly he came out of the dark...

Elisa saw Goliath appearing from the dark of the adjoining room. For a second she tried to cover herself with her wings, before she scolded herself, that he was her mate. Looking down she saw the evidence of his arousal.

"Goliath, how long have you been standing in the dark and watching me...? Do...do you like what you see?" All shyness had fallen away from her.

"Elisa, you are one of the most beautiful beings I've ever seen..." Then without warning he embraced her, kissed her on the lips. "I have read about a custom that freshly married human couples do."

He knew the answer when he felt her hands descending to his belt buckle.

In the kitchen
Angela was helping Broadway when two roars, one male one female, echoed faintly though the part of the castle, that only the clan used. If the kitchen door had been open, they would have overheard them.

"I think father and Elisa are very happy now. We should not expect them to re-appear for the next few hours." Angela knew what she was talking about to Broadway, because of their own experience.

Broadway only grinned "The joys of mated life."
The End