Why was this so hard to watch? Why was he feeling so conflicted inside? Questions that he knew the answer to deep inside but didn't dare to admit.
He is in love with her. The very woman that fights fiercely in her element. Fights fiercely for what she believes in.
Fights fiercely for justice. The very same justice that he seeks out to deliver with his gloved fists each and every single night.
But there was a difference. A big difference between the two of them. The smallest of differences. While he was proclaimed a hero by the public the true hero was before him now.
Before him now lashing out doing everything that she could to ensure justice would be delivered in the coming months in what has been described to be the trial of the century.
The trail of the city versus one Moira Queen. His very mother. A woman that had been responsible along with countless others in one of the city's most tragic events to date.
The Undertaking. An event that had seen thousands of innocent lives being lost within a flash. An event that had truly shaken the city by its core.
Such an event for months none were aware of who had caused this to happen. Not until it had happened.
Not until she had confessed. Not until she had called a press conference out of the blue and confessed to her crime.
An confession that has all lead up to this point. A battle inside of a courtroom where no fists would need to be thrown.
No arrows needed to be drawn. No instead it would be decided by the minds of the jury. Be decided by the minds of every single member of the jury that has called Starling City their home for years.
A trial that has seen its ups and downs. A trail that has gone on for the past few weeks with every single moment happening inside of this courtroom being memorable.
With his mind getting deeper into an eternal battle with every single question asked. With every answer that he hears.
Answers that he knew deep down weren't all truthful. Knew that these so called witnesses being called upon my his mother's over priced attorney were nothing but part of a scheme to paint his mother in a better image.
Such an image that he wasn't sure he even believed in anymore. This image. This phony image the defense was making out to be his mother was nothing but lies.
He knew what she is really like. Knew deep down who exactly Moira Queen is. Is she a loving mother like her defense was really trying to proclaim?
Maybe? And that was a big maybe. At times she proved this to be the case but in other times she showed to be self centered.
Such a side that he can't help but think about now as he stares at the back of her head in complete silence from his seat just a few rows over just behind the city's attorneys assigned to the case.
Stare trying to gauge who she truly is. Trying to gauge what side of his mother that he is seeing now. Was this the woman that gave birth to him and watched him grow up or was she someone else.
Something worse. Something that had caused thousands of lives to be lost. A side that he had thought was truly gone once he visited her in jail.
Visited her before the words had come out of his mouth. The words to fight this thing. To fight against the city and prove her innocence.
Words that deep inside he is truly regretting at this very moment. Regretting as so many things come to his mind with one image coming to the forefront.
An image that had been used a few weeks prior in this court case. The image of a list. A simple list that was anything but simple.
The list of every single name that had been lost on that fateful night. Every single man,woman,or child that had lost their lives that night.
Such a list that he had stared at in complete silence for hours. In an intense silence just looking over every single name.
Names that keep popping into his mind now as he sits in silence staring at the back of his mother's head oblivious to his surroundings.
Oblivious to what is being said by her defense attorney as he questions one of the Queen family's long time maids.
An questioning that he pays no mind for in favor of turning his gaze away from his mother to look straight ahead.
To look straight ahead at another. Look straight ahead at her. A woman that has always been at the forefront of his mind.
Has truly taught him from right and wrong even if she had to yell at him for it to stick. Has always stuck up for him when she shouldn't have.
Has always been in constantly in thoughts whether it be here inside of the city or out there. Out there in the unknown.
Dinah Laurel Lance. A truly remarkable woman. A woman that has gone through so much. Has gone through so much heartbreak. Has had her name dragged through the mud only to come back stronger.
A woman that has been wronged so many times before. Been wronged by him so many times and yet has found it in her heart to forgive him for some reason.
Come back as a new woman with traces of the woman that he loves still inside. A woman that he looks at now reading her face perfectly despite her concealing her emotions perfectly behind a blank emotionless face.
Reading just exactly what she is thinking at this very moment. She is frustrated at this trial. She is angry at what is being said.
And truth be told he couldn't blame her. Couldn't blame her in the least bit for feeling this way. He was feeling this way to.
Everything now just seemed….wrong. Just seemed dirty. Maybe he shouldn't have convinced his mother to fight back.
Maybe he should have convinced Thea to help him convince their mother to bring her crimes to court. To bring her quote innocence to the courtroom in an attempt to clear her name.
A feat that looked as though it might just happen despite the city's best efforts to ensure justice would come within these walls.
Such a scene that deep down truly has bothered him through these few weeks. These intense few weeks taking in every single face of the jury.
Taking in every one of their faces trying to read what they were thinking. And what he was seeing was having mixed results in him.
Seeing how the defense was truly getting to them making the balance of power shift in his mother's direction.
Such a shift that would have made him happy at the beginning but now? Now it was making him worry.
Now it was making him feel sick to his stomach. A feeling that he knew would come at some point when a realization had come to him.
An realization when he had left the prison after his meeting with his mother running into the lawyer assigned to combat her in court.
Run into Laurel Lance that all but promised him that justice would be ensured one way or the other making him backpedal and think.
He would have to make a choice. A choice between his family and the woman that he loves. Make a choice between the woman that had given birth to him or the woman that has truly helped him grow up.
Such a choice that he couldn't make leaving him stranded on the sidelines just watching the proceedings in silence.
But no longer. No longer would he sit on the sidelines just hoping justice would be found inside of this courtroom.
A mindset that makes him do something that nobody inside of the courtroom would expect. Would make him wait a mere half and hour later once a recess had been issued for the city's defense to bring forth their own defense witnesses to counter Moira Queen's own and approach her.
Approach her as she rounds a corner before reaching out to gently grab a hold of her hand instantly causing her to snap her body around and glare over in his direction.
A glare that once she sees who is holding her hand causes for the briefest of moments her facial features soften for a slight moment before their are schooled and her glare returns tenfold.
A gaze that he can't look into as his gaze comes down to look towards the floor before with a deep breathe he whispers out.
" Put me on the stand."
Unable to keep the look of shock from across her face as her eyes widen just as she shakes her head with a response on the tip of her tongue the simple gesture of her hand being squeezed stops her dead in her tracks.
" Please? I need to do this."
Taking a second to pay a glance upward finding Laurel's eyes trained on him lowering his gaze towards towards their joined hands closing his eyes slowly Oliver takes a deep breathe.
" There are so many things that i've done wrong in my life. Too many for anyone's liking. This is my chance to finally do something right."
Taking a second to gather his thoughts as he feels his hand being squeezed glancing up into her eyes seeing them softening looking back down slowly shaking his head Oliver takes another deep breathe.
" I fucked up Laurel. I fucked up when i got on that boat with Sara. I fucked up when i returned back home and pushed the one person that i needed desperately in my life away.
There are things that i've always wanted to tell you but i couldn't. I couldn't because i wanted to protect you but the truth it wasn't because of that. It was because i was trying to protect myself from ever having to talk about my problems with anyone fearing what they would see me as."
Feeling her eyes starting to burn from finally witnessing something that she knew would happen at some point blinking away the sensation gently Laurel squeezes Oliver's hand.
" Even now, I know how bad i screwed up. I should have never left to go back there. I should have never left you but instead should have stayed here by your side to protect you just like you always protect for me. Even from myself.
I should have told you things from the beginning instead of keeping you in the dark. I should have come to you when i needed someone there in my corner instead of pretending everything was okay when things really weren't.
But i swear to you. I promise you that things are going to change. I will never leave your side again. I will fight for you and will continue to fight for you as long as i have a breathe in my body."
Glancing up as he sees silent tears trickling down her face just as he opens his mouth instantly Oliver's eyes widen when he feels her lips crashing into his own.
Lips that as soon as they are on his lips he feels being pulled back before he opens his eyes to find himself staring into her green gaze.
" Tonight my place. Eight o clock. You bring the ice cream."
Nodding his head in silence suddenly without having a chance to react Oliver watches Laurel pull away and slowly stroll down the empty hallway.
Stroll away with what he swore to be a faint smile across her lips. A sight that as he watches her disappear around the corner makes his own lips curl upward before slowly he turns and makes his way down the other end of the hallway.