Summary: and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

AN: Listen, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a mess of gay and emotions.

i carry your heart

Thick, golden blonde tresses were spilled across the pillow resting under her lover's head. Errant curls spiraled down her lover's forehead, unlined in sleep. A dusty skinned hand carefully reached out to brush those stray locks of hair away so she could get a better look at the face she had memorized every element of so deeply and intimately. She knew every freckle, every dimple, every line of that face; she knew how every facial muscle was pulled and twisted when she was excited (her eyes expanded in delight) or angry (that gorgeous jaw clenched) or agonized (her brow sagged as if weighed down by melancholia) or elated (those full, rosy lips pulled into the most stunning smile) or in the throes of an orgasm (brow creased, mouth open wide in an insuppressible scream). She knew everything there was to know about that face.

Letting her fingers gently trace over delicate cheek bones and a perfectly formed nose, she was unable to stop the contented sigh that fell out of her. "Perfecto," her voice was but a reverent whisper, so quiet she wasn't even sure she had uttered the word, but it prompted dark blonde lashes to flutter open slowly.

She watched in sheer bliss as her love awakened. It was a process she had never tired of and she was sure, after all of their years together, she never would. It was always languid, the way she transitioned from peaceful slumbering into a drowsy state of wakefulness, if given the proper amount of time. First her eyelids would flutter unhurriedly three or four times and she would release the quietest of whimpers that never failed to get the dark haired woman's heart racing. She would blink deliberately twice, only twice and then she graced the world with her bright cerulean irises, and it stole the breath from her lover's lungs each and every time. Of course after that came that sleepy little upturn of her sweet, deliciously lush lips as she lifted her hands above her head in a languorous stretch. That morning was no different than any other morning the two paramours were able to sleep in after eight.

Before she could bring her creamy, freckled arms back down to her side, her partner slid her own arms around her waist and leaned ever closer to press a short kiss on the tip of her nose. The blonde let out a noise that could only be described as the human equivalent of a purr as she shift her body to accommodate her love.

"Good morning, Calliope," she murmured softly through her smile as her eyes eagerly raked over Callie's features as though every detail hadn't been etched into her mind years ago. She was always in awe of how her mind could never do the real thing justice. "You're so… beautiful, Calliope. So beautiful." She could hardly get the words out over the sudden lump in her throat.

"Arizona…" Her breath hitched in her throat at the other woman's amazed whisper, sounding almost overwhelmed by the depth of her emotion for Callie. It was something Callie could easily relate to because she felt it every single day with her love.

"My Calliope, my darling," Arizona crooned again, sounding just as overcome but increasingly more pleased. Her hand came up to cup a tanned cheek as she gazed into the dark russet eyes of her lover, her wife, her life. Those eyes always betrayed so much and right now, Arizona could have closed her eyes and still felt the adoration, the affection, the pure emotion washing over her skin. Calliope's gaze on her felt like everything she had always run from and everything she had always needed. Calliope's gaze on her felt like home.

Callie's chest was filling up, practically ballooning with the overflow of love and affection she had for that woman. She was so absolutely enthralled, so resolutely and unapologetically in love with Arizona Robbins that she almost couldn't stand it. It felt like a warmth was trying to settle in her bones and push its way out of her chest all at the same time; it was exhilarating and terrifying every time it took over her body.

"I will never have enough words, my darling Calliope," Arizona began before she had to swallow to keep her voice from wavering. "Words will never be enough to describe the way I feel about you," she confessed, feeling a flush work its way up her neck when strong arms tightened around her body. "You're so…" she trailed off, searching those impossibly deep eyes for the words. "You are… everything."

That was it. Right there. She knew, even before their first I love you that Arizona was it for her, but it was moments like that, it was that softly disbelieving tone uttering words like that, that reminded her why she had married her. Twice. She was spending the rest of her life with that incredibly sweet, breathtakingly amazing woman and damn if that didn't make her the slightest bit weepy.

"Why'd you have to make me cry first thing in the morning?" She all but blubbered, allowing her wife to brush her tears away. She wished it was an uncommon occurrence, but she was often moved to tears by Arizona's masterful oration skills these days.

"Because I love you," was Arizona's simple answer. Her smile was easy and wide, accenting the charming pair of dimples on her cheeks that let her get away with more than most. But that was it: she loved Calliope, more than she could ever begin to communicate, more than she could even comprehend. Calliope was her beginning and ending.

"You're the love of my whole life, Arizona," Callie breathed, the sentence tumbling out of her mouth without much thought to what she was letting slip. She had always thought this, but had never, not in nine and half years, said it out loud. "I think for my entire life before you, I was getting ready. Life was preparing to meet you and know you and love you. I think…" her voice was thick with feeling as she plowed through, "I think I was made to love you forever."

At a complete loss for words, bombarded with such an array of emotions that wracked her body and eviscerated every thread of her composure, Arizona muttered the first thing that danced through her thoughts: "and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart."

"What?" Callie didn't even try to mask her baffled tone.

The blonde, grateful for the injection of levity, chuckled quietly at her lover's confusion and relaxed against their pillows. She couldn't believe she hadn't shared one of her favorite poems with her wife yet. It was one so dear to her heart, one she felt so very deeply, and she couldn't think of anyone else with whom she'd rather share it. "i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)," she started, hoping to spark some recognition, but only received a confused smile in return. "i am never without it(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)," she recited the words for the first time in over a decade as she reached down to shift one of her wife's warm hands onto her swollen abdomen.

The reaction was instantaneous and magnificent to witness: a brilliant beam lit up Callie's achingly beautiful face and she cradled her hand around Arizona's ever-growing belly, listening intently to the lines being spoken just for her. "i fear no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)," she expressed the words like they were her own, concocted in an attempt to describe the breadth of her love to Callie. That was what it felt like; like she was simply telling Callie how she felt in her own, perhaps over the top, way. "and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you."

It was almost too much. The song or the poem, Callie wasn't exactly sure which one it was, but she was feeling too much all at once. She felt like exploding in the best way possible. Listening to Arizona, her fate, her world, saying all of these tender, gorgeous, fantastical things while carrying their child was sending her clean out of her mind.

"here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud)and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide." Without fully realizing what she was doing, Arizona lowered her voice even further, entwined her delicate fingers with her wife's and brought their hands up to rest over her own heart. "and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart."

The choked breath was out before Callie could stop it and she barely reined in the next one. Her rib cage felt stretched to its maximum, finally incapable of containing everything she was feeling. Arizona made her feel so much, too much, and her body couldn't take it anymore. "Oh, my god," she sobbed, finally letting go. "Oh, my god, I love you so much." She pulled in a breath, trying to focus on getting air into her lungs. "So much, baby."

Arizona hummed, rubbing Callie's back as she breakdown in the face of their spectacular love. She saw it happening as she was speaking. She felt it happening. She knew what could move Calliope Torres. She knew her love inside and out, and although the poem didn't do her love justice, it came pretty fucking close as far as she was concerned. "i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)."


i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

Let me know what you think. Review, per favore.

~Elphaba C. Snow Thropp