Harry Potter Parody………….(Snape and Neville on a Date)
So, Snape and Neville were out on a date at PF Changs, because that's how they roll. Snapes love for Neville had been utterly suppressed for many years because he didn't want the others to know that he was attracted to geeky guys with questionable sexualitys. The couple walked into the restaurant arm in arm, making kissy faces at each other all the while. Once seated they were handed menus by a very short fellow, Snape figured that he was a goblin. They opened their menus, burying their heads in them; before long, Snape noted a large figure behind his menu and heard a soft "Hmmm hemmmmm". Oh no he thought, it cant be but yes, indeed it was. He snakily lowered his menue and standing directly over him was that umbridge woman…uggg. She began to "hem hem" again but soon after began to choke uncontrollably. By this time Neville had lowered his menue and was now staring in shock and aww. They stared as she coughed and chocked, and coughed some more. Until finally, a hairball popped out and hit Neville on the forehead, it rolled onto the table and left a large slobber mark running down his face. Umbridge was now writhing on the floor orgasmicly. The people came and put her on a rolling table to take her to a hospital and Snape was getting anxious because he hadn't orderd yet, and Neville scooted next to him, rubbing calming circles on his back. Fineally a woman appeared and explained that she would be mixing their sauce that evening and how would they like it. But snape thought that she looked like a half breed of troll (though she was a muggle) and he NEVER lets half breeds mix his Chang Sauce, so he asked his widdol hunny bunny to mix the sauce for him because snape thinks that mixing stuff is sexy. Neville rolles up his sleeves and begins to mix the sauce.
"how do you like it" he asked Snape
"oh I think you know how I like it" Snape responded in his silky bedroom voice.
Snape was content just watching his hunny mix for like a millasecond until his teaching sences hightened and possessed him. Suddenly he was having flashbacks to their school days when he dissed Neville constantly in potions class. What on earth was the incompitant fool doing, he was adding too much vinegar when he knows that snape likes it extra spicy.
"LONGBOTTOM YOU IMBUSUL, YOUR DOING IT WRONG ALL WRONG"
Neville looked hurt and stopped mixing, he opened his mouth to speak with tears in his eyes and snape, not one for sentimentals, stands up, bumping the table with his groin.
"AAAARRRGGGGHHH" he ran to the quivering boy. "GIMME THAT YOU INCOMPETANT BASTARD" he grabbed away the mixing utencils and shoved the now sobbing boy into the nearest wall.
"buu…buuu…but I thought you loved meeeeeeee" Neville wailed. Snape looked down at him calm at first then rage filled his eyes, he picked up the ruined sauce and threw it in nevilles face.
"I LOVE MY EFFING CHANG SAUCE YOU CUNT"
THE END.