Please review! I want to hear what you guys think! ~Piano

Alec Lightwood was depressed- there was no questioning that. He hadn't come out of the Institute since his and Magnus's breakup, and he could tell that his siblings were starting to worry. It was true that he was loosing weight quickly, and it was true that he had cried more in the past few weeks than he could remember ever crying before, but what did everyone expect? He missed Magnus more than he had first thought he would, and it was killing him. He missed feeling like he belonged…

The sound of his stomach's growling snapped Alec out of his reverie, and he pulled himself from the bed and shuffled his way into the bathroom. Alec stopped in front of the mirror and a whole new wave of disgust hit him. He was so pathetic- no wonder Magnus didn't want him! Alec choked on a sob and ran back to his room, slamming the door behind him. He didn't deserve to eat. Maybe that would be his punishment for being such a failure- he could starve himself. Alec buried his face in his pillow, his heart breaking a little more with each tear that fell.

Alec's door nudged open, Jace stepping inside quietly. He sat down on the edge of his stepbrother's bed, and sighed.

"Alec…" he began, "I'm worried about you. Every time I see you, you look more and more thin…you're beginning to look emaciated, Alec, you need to eat more."

Alec pulled himself into a sitting position, and glared at Jace. "I'm fine," he whispered.

Jace's eyes widened. "Alec, you're shaking! Have you eaten at all?"

Alec shook his head and lay back down. "I'm fine, Jace. I can't eat. I need to be perfect. I don't deserve to." Alec coughed, his vision slowly blurring. "You're fuzzy, Jace. Let me sleep."

Jace stood up slowly, and ran out the door. "Something's wrong with Alec!" he yelled. Much to his relief it was Isabelle who heard him, and she rushed into her brother's room.

"Alec!" she exclaimed, sitting down next to him. She placed her hand over his heart and gasped. His ribs were protruding. She helped his shirt off over his head, and covered her mouth with her hand. His stomach was sunken in, and every one of his bones stuck out. He was unbearably thin.

"Izzy…" Alec trailed off. He was so tired…

Jace had carried Alec into the infirmary, much to Alec's dismay. Jace couldn't believe how light Alec was- he weighed almost as little as Clary. He gently set Alec on a bed. Alec curled into a ball on his side, and shivered. He didn't deserve to be taken care of- why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"I called Mom- she said she'd try to be back as soon as possible, but she's at a Clave meeting- could be a while." Isabelle sighed. "We should get some fluids in him- he's probably dehydrated too. Be careful, though, I've heard anorexics can get heart attacks easily- he's so thin…"

"I'm not anorexic." Alec coughed, barely able to talk.

"Call Magnus," Jace suggested, staring worriedly at his step brother. "He'll know what to do. And Luke." Isabelle nodded, and Jace searched the cabinets for an IV bag. He was so worried.

"Alec, come on, you have to give me your arm." Alec buried his head in the pillow. Why wouldn't they understand? He had hurt Magnus, the only person he had ever truly loved, so he needed to hurt himself as well. "Alec, please. Please…I want you to get better. You have to let me help you."

He couldn't stand the pain in Jace's voice, couldn't stand knowing he was the cause of it. Alec closed his eyes, trying not to cry again, and held his arm out for Jace. He sighed apprehensively at the cool of the alcohol on his skin, and winced as the needle went into his vein. He was sorry that Jace had to go through this, had to help his broken brother when he had lost so much already. He was disgusted at himself.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm so glad Valentine taught me the fundamentals of medicine and treatments," Alec heard Jace mumble.

"Yeah," Isabelle agreed. "Magnus is on his way- I told him that Alec needed help- but he didn't sound too happy of it. Temperamental Warlock…"

Alec blacked out.

The next few hours were a blur. Alec somehow wound up on Magnus's lap on the hospital bed, but other than being there for Alec, there really wasn't much he could do. Luke and Clary came over, and brought a feeding tube. Alec buried his face in Magnus's shirt, crying.

"Magnus don't make them! I don't want to eat, please. I can't! I don't deserve to. I need to be broken!" Alec tried to yell, and Magnus wrapped his arms around the hysteric Shadowhunter. Alec protested, but he was weak and tired and eventually stopped thrashing. "Fine," he choked. "Fine. But Magnus, talk to me. Please talk to me. Tell me you love me. I'm scared, Magnus."

"I love you, Alec. I never stopped loving you." Magnus brushed Alec's hair from his blue eyes. Luke sighed sadly, and pushed the tube down Alec's throat. Alec's muscles tightened for a moment in discomfort, and Magnus kissed his forehead. "You're okay, love, you're okay. I promise you, you'll be okay."

Magnus was horrified that Alec had stopped eating all because of him. Now here they were again, Alec clinging onto Magnus like he was falling, which wasn't really saying much. Alec had lost so much weight, and he felt so weak, his grip was like a child's…it broke Magnus to see his Alec like that- wasting away to nothing, barely able to breathe, hooked up to drips trying to restore some of his strength. He was even being unwillingly fed through a tube, all because of him. Magnus sighed, thinking about why he had gotten mad at Alec…was it really worth breaking his heart over?

"Alec, I am so sorry…"

Should I do another chapter? I *love* reviews! They make me ever so happy! Sorry if there are any mistakes! Thank you for reading xx